Movie reviews – Page 29 – The Queens of Geekdom

The River Wild (1994)

Rating 12
Length 1hr 51
Release 24.2.1995
Director Curtis Hanson
About A couple embarks on a rafting holiday with their son. The trip, however, turns into a nightmare when they find themselves battling two violent criminals.

The Good

All the actors are perfectly cast in their roles and bring a decent energy to the proceedings. Kevin Bacon does his bad guy thing, Meryl Streep does her leading lady thing and Joe Mazzello does his thing of being the kid in danger with emotional baggage.
The filming is able to present this somewhat difficult story is a decent way. You’re able to follow the plot, feel the tension and the danger without being too lost in the elements. I can’t imagine it was easy to create the variety of shots over river rapids but it certain has a good attempt.

The Bad

I hate the addition of the dog. While Maggie contributes some way in terms of the plot, I don’t think it’s enough to justify having her on a dangerous journey. Leave the poor thing with the grandparents.
Streep and Bacon’s flirting in front of uptight husband, played by David Stathairn is cringe-worthy and damaging to Streep’s character. That’s not to say I don’t think she wouldn’t flirt, I just felt uncomfortable watching her do it in front of her son and husband. It may have worked a little better had Strathairn’s character not have made it on time to catch the raft and is brought to them later in the day by Benjamin Bratt’s character.

The Ugly

The pacing is really off for me. While I did enjoy the opening scenes and it showed the dynamic of the Hartman family, I found the payoff wasn’t worth the effort it took. Did we need to have so many scenes prior to the family setting off?
I found the ‘bad guys’ a little confusing in the sense that it felt so obvious, yet it felt like it was also meant to be a reveal. I’d have perhaps liked to have seen either the conversation between Gail and her Father about his predictions for the robbery or even see the robbery itself. It was rather sloppy and I wouldn’t be surprised if there are a few cut scenes out there that develop that arc a little further.

Final Thoughts

It’s a decent film, but very much of its time. No fault to the performances, but the screenplay feels a little lacking. Still, I’d take this over Hard Rain any day. Plus, Baby Mozzello fresh out of Jurassic Park. You can’t say no to that.

Have you seen The River Wild? What did you think?

Love Han x

Film Review: Onward

Rating U

Length 1hr 42

Release 6.3.2020

Director Dan Scanlon

About Two teenage elf brothers, Ian and Barley Lightfoot, go on an journey to discover if there is still a little magic left out there in order to spend one last day with their father, who died when they were too young to remember him.

Thee Good

Could you imagine a better ‘brother’ pairing than the actors who play Starlord and Peter Parker, playing them almost as those characters?! They beautifully compliment each other and almost make me wish it wasn’t an animation.

The story is… well it’s very me. Which is not overly helpful in a review, but it’s a heartfelt and geeky journey while dabbling in the lore of D&D. That ticks all the boxes for me.

Dogs are dragons and cats are unicorns! Genius and I couldn’t love it any more than I do.

It has all the elements of a road trip movie; things go wrong, the characters butt heads, they bond and they sacrifice. All done in a family friendly landscape.

The absolute best part of this movie is the relationship between the two brothers. It would have been all too easy to have the magical ability of one cause friction and jealousy with the other. Instead we get this beautiful dynamic in which we see how siblings support and encourage.

Thee Bad

It’s not a film for everyone. It’s not as universal as many of Pixar’s movies and I believe that it’s because the story is so personal, so subjective.

Thee Ugly

The storyline being linked to having one last chance to speak to a loved one they’ve lost really hit close to home and there were ugly tears. They were good tears and have really made me feel better, but man… they were uuuuuugly!

Final Thoughts

If it hadn’t made me cry so much, I’d have watched this at least four more times already.

Review: The NeverEnding Story (1984) spoilers included

The NeverEnding Story (1984)

Rating U

Length 1hr 42

Release 4.4.1985

Director Wolfgang Peterson

About A troubled boy dives into a wondrous fantasy world through the pages of a mysterious book

The Good

The physical effects are amazing considering the time. The dragon Rankor is a delight to watch. They’re not Jim Henson quality, but they have charm and grandeur.

Arteyu is a solid character that I really felt for. The actor, Noah Hathaway, brought a strength to the role that you don’t often find and with another actor he may have seemed whingey and petulant. I almost wish they’d done away with the meta layering and told me a straight story about Arteyu.

It has that vibe all children’s films had at that time; adventure that may or may not be real. now with added nostalgia to keep it as a firm favourite. For everyone but me, that is.

The Bad

The meta is handled better in films like The Lego Movie. I found the passing back and forth between Bastian and Arteyu a little clunky and distracted me from engaging with either one. I felt almost as if we spent a little too long with Bastian at the beginning with no payoff at the end.

Artax (the horse) dies way, way, way too soon. Had I have seen it as a kid, perhaps I’d have felt more. However, this is a time in which I’ve cried over a messenger owl I’ve gotten to know well over 6 books, I need a little more engagement to feel the loss. Plus, Marvel making me cry over so many characters (yes, I’m looking at you Loki) to discover they’re not quite dead yet, means this just felt lacklustre.

The Ugly

– For me, the biggest problem with this film is that we never have our three main players, Bastian, Arreyu and the Childlike Empress, in the same scene. The fact that Bastian never has a conversation with Arteyu was a massive blow for me.

Final Thoughts

-Why does it have to be so depressing? Yeah, I know we get that ‘upbeat’ ending… but it all feels a little rushed and so I didn’t end the film feeling uplifted.

I wish it had remained in my ‘Ive not seen…’ pile. My only worry now is; if I ever have kids, I HAVE to show them this. It would just be my luck that it ends up their favourite.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)

Rating U

Length 1hr 25

Release 18.12.1992

Director Brian Henson

Naughty

It’s Michael Caine’s performance alone that saves this film from being an outright camp pantomime. As much as I love some aspects of Gonzo and Risso, some of it strays a little too far for me.
There’s some odd dialogue choices along the way. There’s the headmaster who declares ‘it’s the American way’ before being corrected. Much in the same way as the film’s narrators, it takes you out of the film.
Not too sure how I feel about Michael Caine’s singing prowess. It’s very much the voice equivalent of dad dancing. I know the film seemed aware of it by keeping his musical additions to a minimum, but it’s really weird and jarring to not have your protagonist have at least his own song in what is essentially a musical.
There seemed to be a significant shift in quality when it came to the creation of the secondary and background puppetry.

Nice

Gonzo makes for a brilliant narrator and it’s something I’ve not seen in many other versions. It brings, when it works, some of the original text to the screen and some humour.
On the most part, all of the Muppets are well cast in their Dickensian roles. I completely adore Kermit as Cratchett and Statler and Waldorf as the Marley brothers.
Both the Swedish Chef and Animal make cameos that don’t quite fit, but are both so awesome you won’t care.
Michael Caine, musical elements aside, is a wonderful Scrooge. He is almost in a completely different movie to his puppet counterparts, but that strangely works in this case. As a Scrooge, he’s able to show the development of character and a will to change.

Final Thoughts

It’s a fair adaptation and while Caine lacks the flair for singing, he’s now too iconic in the role to even dare to mentally recast.

In The Loop (2009)

Rating 15

Length 1Hr 46

Release 17.4.2009

Director Armando Iannucci

About During an interview, British Cabinet Minister Simon Foster (Tom Hollander) delivers an off-the-cuff remark that war in the Middle East is “unforeseeable.” Profane political spin doctor Malcolm Tucker (Peter Capaldi) tries to cover up Foster’s faux pas, but the ill-conceived comment is picked up by a warmongering American official. Foster is invited to Washington, D.C., where a war of words brews as politicians maneuver, manipulate and deceive each other before a U.N. vote on military action.

The Good

I like that you don’t need to have seen The Thick of It to watch this film. I’m certain there’s value added for fans, but I certainly didn’t feel lost. Well, no more lost than I ended up being with this car crash of a film.
There are some amazing lines in this film. Yes, I’m childish, those lines do mostly involve swearing. From losing count of the amount of fuck’s Capaldi uses to his wonderful ‘fuckerty bye’ I was giggling.
Tom Hollander steals the show for me. He’s the satirical incompetent stereoptype who seems to have slept walked into office. He’s genius and the film would have been greatly improved had we have had him as our sole focus for the film.

The Bad

It’s plot is a mess. A hot fucking mess. We’re here, we’re there. It’s just shit! To quote the film its ‘arse spraying mayhem.’
Party of the problem perhaps was the attempt to ‘appeal’ to an American audience. I don’t know what it is about the media industry, but Dr Who should have taught the BBC that ‘making it more American’ is not the way to do it.

The Ugly

The biggest problem for me is the nature of it being largely an improvised comedy. It’s humour feels stunted and rather hit and miss. Yes, there’s some amazing lines that do raise a chuckle. However they’re very few and far between.
The handheld camera approach just fucks me off. Especially when you consider that this isn’t presented as a documentary. At no point do any of the characters acknowledge the cameras. Which begs the question, why the fuck bother invoking headaches?!

Final Thoughts

It was just a bit of a clusterfuck if I’m honest. I’d love to say the removal of the handheld would have improved things, but I doubt it. All in all, I’d have rather have watched Capaldi saying ‘fuckerty bye’ repeatedly for 2 hours than this.

The Post (2018)

Rating 12

Length 1Hr 56

Release 19.1.2018

Director Stephen Spielberg

About Publisher Katharine and her editor-in-chief Ben put their careers and freedom at risk to uncover a scandalous decades-long secret about the Vietnam War.

Continue reading “The Post (2018)”

Bowling for Columbine (2002)

Rating 15

Length 2hr

Release 15.11.2002

Director Michael Moore

About Political documentary filmmaker Michael Moore explores the circumstances that lead to the 1999 Columbine High School massacre and, more broadly, the proliferation of guns and the high homicide rate in America. In his trademark provocative fashion, Moore accosts Kmart corporate employees and pleads with them to stop selling bullets, investigates why Canada doesn’t have the same excessive rate of gun violence and questions actor Charlton Heston on his support of the National Rifle Association.

The Good

Well made and informative. It’s journalism in its truest form and pulls no punches. To that extent it certainly has a level of fair representation and at no point does Moore address the audience and give his opinion. Now, while it might be implied that he is anti-gun, its not said outright and I don’t feel like I’m having someone else’s opinion shoved down my throat. It gives you the freedom to make up your own mind.
The film looks at as many root causes to American violence and gun culture. The film looks at the social history, the political history and the culture of fear.

The Bad

I felt uncomfortable with some of the emotional manipulation of Columbine survivors, in particularly in regards to them arriving unannounced at a K-Mary head quarters. I believe it’s right to hold them accountable and the survivors have a right to be heard, but it feels a little exploitative to do it for a film.
Again, with Charlton Heston, I felt very uncomfortable with everything that is seen to happen after the interview is stopped. Again, he was an absolute knob. Holding a gun convention in a town days after a massacre is thoughtless and insensitive. To do it twice and, both times, refuse to relocate is barbaric. However, I did struggle with watching Moore follow him after leaving.
I found the run time a little too long to be affective when the narrative flow doesn’t feel as smooth as other documentary films out there.

The Ugly

How is it that the Columbine massacre was 20 years ago, yet there has been no governmental effort or change to ensure public places are safe for citizens? This event and Moore’s film should have been enough to legislate gun control.
The film was bold, it was brave and it made people think. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who thought it would make a difference, so to watch it now it stirs up too much bitterness, too much frustration.

Final Thoughts

Irrespective of its flaws, this is a film that everyone needs to see. Not only that, I somewhat think its time for an updated follow up that looks into the rise of these incidents and the blind ignorance of the US and their flawed logic that guns are okay, but the kinder egg is dangerous enough to be illegal.

Dave (1993)

Rating 12

Length 1Hr 50

Release 5.11.1993

Director Ivan Reitman

About Shifty White House chief of staff Bob Alexander (Frank Langella) hatches a scheme to use a double for the president (Kevin Kline) at a public photo opportunity. Small business owner Dave Kovic (Kline) fits the bill, but after the president suffers a debilitating stroke, opportunist Alexander arranges for Dave to step in full time without even informing the First Lady (Sigourney Weaver). It doesn’t take long before the press, the nation and the president’s wife realize something is different.

The Good

What a cast. Frank Langella, Ben Kingsley and Ving Rhames all play supporting roles, but its Kevin Dunn’s appearance that caught me off guard. It’s not like he’s been off our screens in the last few years, but I did forget about his presence in the 90s. Here he plays an almost moral compass that’s lost its way.
I love the relationship between Kevin Kline’s Dave and Ving Rhames’ Duane. Watching Dave melt the frosty persona is a delight and much more charming than the relationship of Dave and the First Lady.
It is a romantic comedy, but I like that the comedy is fluffy and not too over the top. It’s harmless and doesn’t derive it’s humour from taking shots at other people.
I do like the idea of looking at the presidency through the eyes of someone who has no political ambition.

The Bad

The politics is a little soft and doesn’t provide anything other than a backdrop and landscape for the story to unfold. It’s a riff on Prince and the Pauper or Man in the Iron Mask, but it does little else.
I do feel as if we didn’t spend enough time with Kline as Bill Mitchell. Yes, we see enough to know he’s someone who cheats and we are given additional information throughout the film from other people, but I really would have liked one more scene.

The Ugly

There’s a few time when the film using the method of speeding the film up to give us humour. It’s seen in many other films, including Romeo + Juliet and it’s just something I truly dislike. It calls attention to it and pulls me out of the story.
While I love Kevin Kline on the most part, there’s always something he does that has me cringing in my seat. Perhaps a sign of a good actor that he can throw himself all in, however I don’t like to cringe and this is perhaps, outside of Wild Wild West, the worst for it. I didn’t need the rendition of The Sun Will Come Out and I didn’t need that whole story.

Final Thoughts

It’s a bit too fluffy to be a go to film, but it does have a charm about it.

Vice (2019)

Rating 15

Length 2hr 12

Release 25.1.2019

About Governor George W Bush of Texas picks Dick Cheney, the CEO of Halliburton Co, to be his Republican running mate in the 2000 presidential election. No stranger to politics, Cheney’s impressive résumé includes stints as White House chief of staff, House Minority Whip and defence secretary. When Bush wins by a narrow margin, Cheney begins to use his newfound power to help reshape the country and the world.

Dir Adam McKay

The Good

The casting is nothing short of incredible. As a whole. I’m not certain this film would work as well with even one casting change.
I found myself strangely sympathising with Cheney. The very fact that the film is able to do this is something. Not only that, it takes me on an emotional U-turn almost the second I’ve accepted my opinion.

The Bad

The filming style is what made The Big Short stand out, however the breaking of the 4th wall to explain jargon and political terms doesn’t quite work here. I’m not sure the explanations are explained as well and leave some of the audience behind.
It wasn’t his movie, but I do feel Rockwell was underused and the character of Bush almost eradicated from the narrative.

The Ugly

For me it plays it a little too loose with the timeline. It felt very timey whimey and really made it difficult to follow at times.

Final Thoughts

It’s something I’ve glad I watched but I think it had too much of its mind on award season glory than the bums on the seats.

Halloween Advent 2019 Rankings

Order of liking

Jaws

The Thing

The Terminator

American Werewolf in London

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010

Scream

Poltergeist (2015)

Paranorman

The Creature From the Black Lagoon

Halloween 1978

Predator

The Fly 1986

The Curse of Frankenstein

The Horror of Dracula

Alien

Monster Squad

Poltergeist 3

A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984

Order of fear factor

Poltergeist 2
The Fly 1986
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010
The Thing
The Terminator
Halloween 2007
Jaws
Halloween 2018
Halloween 1978
American Werewolf in London
Alien
Cat’s Eye
The Craft
The Frighteners
Predator
The Curse of Frankenstein
The Horror of Dracula
The Creature From the Black Lagoon
A Nightmare on Elm Street 1984
Poltergeist 3
Scream
Ghostbusters
The Lost Boys
IT (1990)
Silence of the Lambs
Paranorman
The Fly 1958
Hocus Pocus
Poltergeist (1982)
Poltergeist (2015)
The Boy
Monster Squad
Howling 3
Dawn of the Dead
Fun Size
Jurassic Park

The Lost Boys (1987)

Rating 15

Length 1Hr 37

Release 31.7.1987 (US release)

About Teenage brothers Michael (Jason Patric) and Sam (Corey Haim) move with their mother (Dianne Wiest) to a small town in northern California. While the younger Sam meets a pair of kindred spirits in geeky comic-book nerds Edward (Corey Feldman) and Alan (Jamison Newlander), the angst-ridden Michael soon falls for Star (Jami Gertz) — who turns out to be in thrall to David (Kiefer Sutherland), leader of a local gang of vampires. Sam and his new friends must save Michael and Star from the undead.

Treat

Ed Herrmann is always a joy to see in anything he did. Because of his performance, and his previous roles, I am surprised every time by the reveal. Especially when you play him against Sutherland, who is always good at playing the alpha. This time, because I didn’t remember the dinner sequence, I was convinced it was going to end up being the grandpa as the head vamp.
The music to this film is like the 80s equivalent of the Guardians of the Galaxy soundtrack. Cry Little Sister, People are Strange and Good Times are iconic to this film.
There’s some excellent flying POV shots at the beginning of the film which keep the mystery of who the vampires are. At least that’s I think that was the purpose. It’s hard to tell going into it already knowing the plot.
I love the fact that we are presented with a brotherly relationship that is quite harmonious. At least at the start. It allows that change in character for Michael to have more of an impact.
The comedy is pitched perfectly to balance out the darkness within the plot. It could have quite easily be taken too far and camp up the film, but as it stands, it enables the film to be more Goonies after puberty hits than a bloated emo fest.

Trick

What the hell was with Corey Feldman’s ‘I am Batman’ voice. It really was stupid and quite possibly made this one of very few roles of his I absolutely hated.
Why the hell does Corey Haim have a poster of Rob Lowe in his bedroom? I mean if it was something I believed the character would do, fine. But I so didn’t believe it.
How many times did the name ‘Michael’ have to be said? Jesus, that bugged the fuck out of me.

Final Thoughts

Yet another film that scared me as a kid but I love now. The only let down is Feldman’s performance.

Cat’s Eye (1985)

Rating 15

Length 1Hr 34

Release 8.11.1985

About Stephen King tales follow a cat into a smokers clinic, onto a penthouse ledge and into a girl’s (Drew Barrymore) bedroom.

Treat

This is like an awesome, film version, of the Treehouse of Horror offerings from the Simpsons. Three short tales, with a connection theme running through. In this case it’s an awesome cat that had me hooked. General is like the Groot of this movie.
The first tale is fucked up and I took a rather sick delight in it. An update is needed for the vaping age in which its the smoker who is electrocuted. Although, I did think that if my child looked like Deirdre Barlow, using her as leverage wouldn’t do much good.
The middle tale is visually brilliant and the concept is something that’s been used recently in the horror movie Truth or Dare. It’s the shortest of the three and is the only one I’m not sure could ever be adapted into its own full movie.
The final story is the most frightening and the one that involves General the most. I was petrified throughout most of it. The music and the visuals of the creepy troll that escaped from Labyrinth will most likely keep me awake tonight. It’s amazing how much is fitted into that thirty-odd minute segment.

Trick

This is a personal thing that probably would go into the ‘treat’ for others, but fuck Stephen King. Fuck him up his stupid ass. All the self referential bullshit is so up his own arse and exactly why Stephen Spielberg took out all the references to himself in Ready Player One. I’ll admit its possibly because I’ll not well watched or read when it comes to King, but I know enough for it to grate.

Final Thoughts

It’s a fantastic film with two very strong narratives, excellent performances throughout and loved the fake out ending that almost saw General be the breath taker.

I have a sneaking suspicion I’ve seen this film before, for the sole reason that the window and troll are more how I remembered Labyrinth to be back before my rewatch in 1997-ish. Prior to that, I thought Labyrinth was a horror movie.