The Boy (2015) Spoilers within

Rating: 15

Length: 1Hr 37

Release: 18.3.2016

About: A young American named Greta (Lauren Cohan) takes a job as a nanny for an 8-year-old boy in a remote English village. To her surprise, Greta learns that the child of her new employers is a life-size doll. They care for the doll as if it was human, which helps the couple to cope with the death of their own son 20 years earlier. When Greta violates a list of strict rules, a series of disturbing and inexplicable events bring her worst fears to life, leading her to believe that the doll is alive.

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Treat

• It has that The Others and Woman in Black meets Annabelle vibe, if that’s your kind of thing.
• The creepiest thing about the whole film is the parents. I actually wish we’d had more of them. I definitely want to know how an eight year old with a clear vitamin D deficiency over powered them enough to run with this fucked up charade.
• The film does use some standard, but slightly underused camera shots to creep the fuck out of the audience. Namely the ‘under the bed’ pan. I hate it because it gives me the creeps.

Trick

• My biggest problem is the setting and filming locations. It’s set in the UK and if you’re from any other country that might work for you, but to my tea-drinking self, it’s not filmed in the UK and it’s odd. The home doesn’t look British. At a push, maybe it’s Scottish but there’s definite American influence. Now, all of this might seem a little petty until you consider the fact that the plot has her fly all the way from America to babysit the doll. Why do the family HAVE to be British and, if they must, why can’t they live across the pond which would make some of the other plot decisions a little easier to believe. Because, boys and girls… if they lived in the UK the Super Nanny would have been on the case and naughty stepping that bastard out of his murder ways.
• Gratuitous shower scene is eye-roll worthy as it is, but to follow it with Greta climbing up to the loft with her fanny going commando in a towel is just a step too far. (Although I did read that the original script had her wandering the house naked, so I guess the illogical exploration with a towel is the better option)

• The reveal, certainly for me, came as no surprise so it dampened some of the fear factor for me. No, let’s be honest, the sheer stupidity of the plot had me checked out long before the reveal. I do think that perhaps owing to the fact that you’re not really going to be on side with Greta all the way through the movie having an audience reveal earlier on might have made for a better narrative.
• I hate the fake-out ending that reveals he’s still alive and ready for a sequel. How the fuck he survived those burns without a trip to hospital, let alone Greta’s slice and dice is beyond me.

Final Thoughts

Too mind bogglingly stupid and one to many ‘what the fuck’ moments to be scary. It’s all too Scooby Doo and it’s already got a second one on the way. Unless you give me a sequel with William Zabka taking no crap and calling out Brahms for being the pussy that he is I’m not watching.