Month: October 2019

The Craft (1996)

Rating: 15

Length: 1Hr 41

Release: 8.11.1996

About: After transferring to a Los Angeles high school, Sarah (Robin Tunney) finds that her telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals. Bonnie (Neve Campbell), Rochelle (Rachel True) and Nancy (Fairuza Balk), like Sarah herself, all have troubled backgrounds, which combined with their nascent powers lead to dangerous consequences. When a minor spell causes a fellow student to lose her hair, the girls grow power-mad.

Treat

  • As with many films of the 90s, this has an amazing soundtrack. From Our Lady Peace to Letters to Cleo, this is the embodiment of teen movies of the time.
  • Fairuza Baulk is incredibly, freakily good in this film. Especially when it comes to her going completely bat shit crazy. I’ve seen a few articles calling her out as the hero of the film and there’s certainly something to that, if she wasn’t a murdering psychopath.
  • The cast on the whole is solid and it took me forever to recognise Riverdale’s FP Jones (Skeet Utlrich) as the ‘heart throb’ Chris.
  • The film deals with some heavy shit and doesn’t sugar coat life in high school the way some others do; self harm, sexual assault and feminism are all dealt with fully and tastefully. However, it is the film’s exploration of racism that really has power. I’d not seen a film like it and it’s fair to say none have since.
  • The theme of witchcraft is something I’d not seen in this way before; dispelling the stereotypes allowing for the film to explore everything from sisterhood to wish fulfilment. It’s something we later see in Charmed, Buffy and Hex.
  • The effects are incredible, even now. I think that’s largely to do with using practical effects where possible. Obviously there’s the snakes and various bugs towards the end, there’s the levitation and there’s the ‘glamour’. However my favourite is when Bonnie’s skin peels away.

Trick

  • For a film that builds up a strong friendship, I struggle that there isn’t a balance by the end. I’ve never really liked that Sarah begins being isolated and alone and ends the same way.
  • As much as I love Rochelle’s storyline with her racist bully and Bonnie’s about her self image, both are sidelined and lack fully development. So often, after the invocation, the two girls seem very out of character and more extensions of Nancy. Perhaps that’s the point, but I’m not sure I like it as it leaves Sarah little room to forgive them.
  • There are two sexual assault scenes. Two! Just repeating that because it’s very important that we acknowledge both. There’s the initial Chris and Sarah scene which is bad enough. Read; he is a dick for what he does. However, there is another involving Chris as the victim. Nancy rapes Chris and it’s something that needs to be acknowledged, on and off the screen, but is lost in his death and Nancy’s unraveling. While media is getting better on screen in dealing with sexual assault, I feel as if this was glossed over a little too easily and could have been a perfect time to explore and deconstruct another misconception about gender and sexual assault.
  • Why the fuck does Nancy say ‘where are you going?’ In some really shit Jamaican accent?! I’ve always pissed myself at that choice of delivery and can ruin the tension built up in the scene.

Final thoughts

A film I enjoy watching more than I do critiquing it. You find flaws when you’re looking for them, and this is one film where I preferred ignorance.

Jurassic Park. Halloween Edition (1993)

Rating: PG

Length: 2hr 8

Release: 15.7.1993

About: In Steven Spielberg’s massive blockbuster, paleontologists Alan Grant (Sam Neill) and Ellie Sattler (Laura Dern) and mathematician Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) are among a select group chosen to tour an island theme park populated by dinosaurs created from prehistoric DNA. While the park’s mastermind, billionaire John Hammond (Richard Attenborough), assures everyone that the facility is safe, they find out otherwise when various ferocious predators break free and go on the hunt.

This is no normal review. In fact, it’s possibly not a review at all. Everyone knows this is my all time favourite movie and has been since July 1993 when it set me on my path to geekdom.

It’s a film I’ve watched so often, but I don’t think I’ve ever considered it as a horror, or a film to watch as a lead up to Halloween so the fear factor is never going to be there. I’m too amazed and in all honesty, I want to be there too.

So instead, I’m considering how many tropes and themes that come up in horror movies apply to Jurassic Park. I thought I was on a dud mission, but I was very quickly proven wrong.

Creature Feature

The creature feature is perhaps the most obvious genre this dinosaur disaster fits into. There’s narrative similarities within Jurassic Park and the Creature From the Black Lagoon, a tonal structure that Spielberg brings organically from Jaws and there’s even an audio/visual reference to one of the greatest creature feature: King Kong, just invade you were wondering what they might be keeping on the island. In the same way Black Lagoon has that embedded wonder, Jurassic Park is all smiles until things go very, very wrong.

One key trope from the creature feature (and arguably other horrors) that is seen multiple times is the Scream Queen. Both of our females give their lungs a good airing when found face to face with the prehistoric reptiles and join Faye Wray, Julie Adams and Susan Blackline as Hollywood Hollering Royalty.

Science, Bitches!

Science and playing God is a staple theme in many a horror movie. Frankenstein, The Fly and Jekyll & Hyde all have scientists take on the god-like role of creator. In much the same fashion as the previously mentioned films, the scientists of Ingen fails to understand the true nature of the monster in their captivity and they rebel against the creator.

Of course, this is on a much grander scale so the stakes are higher and the town at risk is bigger. While the revulsion for the monster isn’t present, it’s clear not everyone is happy with the creators.

The Slasher

Hear me out because yes, there’s no Freddy or Michael but some of the rules still apply. I am, of course, talking about the raptors and their story arc.

The fact that we don’t get a sighting of the raptors until the last 20 minutes or so is frightening in itself. All we’ve seen, is their destruction and lethal potential, much in the same way we don’t see the shark in Jaws or the knife break flesh in the infamous ‘shower scene’, our imagination makes quick work of filling in the blanks with scares and blood. The raptors are isolated, imprisoned separately, from the rest of the park. Too dangerous: they indeed claim the film’s largest body count.

Of course, like Michael Myers, when they find freedom the raptors set their sights on human victims which brings us to the glorious stalking kitchen scene. Replace the predatory reptiles with Ghostface and this scene could fit seamlessly into a Scream movie.

I’ll agree that there’s more than one, and there’s no motivation forthcoming but you have to admit, sometimes the explanation sucks and ruins the movie.

The Harbinger of Doom

A trope I only really became familiar with thanks to Cabin in the Woods. A meta horror that calls out all the tropes is perfect education for film.

So, there are two characters that fit the bill of a harbinger within Jurassic Park. The first is Robert Muldoon, who is vocal about the raptors and their dangers. However, the key role goes to Goldblum’s Ian Malcolm. Not only is his entire persona as a theorist of chaos an ideal fit, he has a passionate speech warning Hammond of his companies’ naivety in playing with Science, even going so far as call it ‘rape of the natural world’.

Both Malcolm and Muldoon give us some foresight into the horrors that are to be faced even if, as Malcolm puts it, he ‘hates being right all the time.’

Haunted House

So it’s an island, doesn’t mean the haunted house rules don’t apply. The clear trope that can be seen is the fracturing of the group, repeatedly. Those that do end up on their own; Muldoon, the lawyer and Arnold, die in rather painful and bloody ways.

Now you’ve read this, you may see Jurassic Park in a different way, or maybe you’re like Ian Malcolm and consider it …

Either way, go check it out on Netflix. There it isn’t butchered like a Michael Myer’s victim on Halloween (yup ITV! I’m looking at you)

Han x

Paranorman (2012)

Rating: PG

Length: 1Hr 32

Release: 14.9.2012

About: A misunderstood boy takes on ghosts, zombies and grown-ups to save his town from a centuries-old curse.

Treats

  • This is one of the best stop motion films I’ve watched. It’s a craft that brings with it a magical feel and Is perfect for the world of Paranorman.
  • The story is a charming Blithe Spirit and Sleepy Hollow mash-up. Despite the nods of familiarity, it does seem unique and a refreshing change to the typical zombie movie.
  • The character of Neil is delightful and adorable. His relationship with the solitary Norman is what makes the film. Well, that and him playing with his dead dog.

Tricks

  • For me, it spends a little too long developing the characters and the relationships than the story. For all of its cuteness and sweet message of forgiveness, it feels like it takes forever to get going.
  • Now, I was entertained by the visuals, but a lesser film would not have kept me engaged long enough to care about the plot.

Final Thoughts

A cute pallet cleanser to watch after some of the heavier horrors. Some Easter Eggs and adult humour that will go over little one’s heads.

Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion

Rating: 15

Length: 1Hr 32

Release: 25.4.1997

About: Ten years after their high school graduation, Romy (Mira Sorvino) and Michele (Lisa Kudrow) haven’t exactly accomplished everything that they set out to do. Despite their strong friendship, their personal and professional lives are still lacking. When they hear of their upcoming high school reunion, they take it as an opportunity to show their classmates how much they’ve changed — first by trying to reform themselves, then by creating a lie that eventually spins out of control.

First Thoughts

This was an Easter cinema trip for me and my mum in 1997. I’d wanted to see Men in Black, but mum refused point blank. The Lisa Kudrow film with the pinks and glitter would be more up her street, right?! Well, she took me and I enjoyed it. I remember her saying she regretted it, but I wasn’t certain why until rewatching it years later.

The Good

  • It’s a cool, quirky and funny story that nearly everyone can relate to. It’s retro camp, styled beautifuly and the only thing that improves it, is going to an independent cinema and being handed a post-it by the boy behind.
  • The sound track is fabulous. It’s that retro vibe that’s in right now. Hadn’t spotted it the millions of times before, but Whip It is played at the prom.
  • Janeane Garoflo was the definition of angry sarcasm in the 90s and she steals any scene she’s in. Underused, as she is in many movies, but she’s certainly memorable and the film manages to give her a strong story arc that I prefer to the main two.
  • Alan Cumming is a sweet, low key Hugh Grant in this. He’s able to switch from geek to chic with ease, but the perfect part is that he’s a likeable love interest. Perhaps rather unknown at the time, to me he was part of the High Life cabin crew and has forever remained a joy to watch.
  • It’s as quotable as other 90s films, but the killer line comes after the quick outfit change. Who hasn’t wanted to bark Romy’s Line “and I don’t give a flying fuck what you think…” to their bully? It’s pure brilliance.

The Bad

  • I still find that the dream sequence throws off the narrative. While it’s weird enough for me to like it in itself, as part of this film it’s very out there.
  • The tone and it’s perceived target audience is totally off. It’s not the double entendre humour of Shrek; that ‘he’s making up for something’ that gets the parents chuckling but goes over a kid’s head, but a much more obvious humour that doesn’t altogether fit well with a film that could double with Clueless.

The Ugly

  • That dance. It’s unbelievably cringe. As with the dream sequence, there are times when I watch and love it and its certainly what makes this film a cult classic, but it would never help Romy and Michele’s cause.
  • Alan Cumming in the dream sequence is too ‘blow up doll’. It freaks me out and is as not, as Michele puts it, ‘dreamy’. I’d put it in with the same trope of the ‘ugly’ girl who just needs her glasses taken off to make her ‘hot’.

Sherlock Gnomes (2018)

Rating: U

Length: 1Hr 26

Release: 11.5.2018

About: When Gnomeo and Juliet first arrive in London with their friends and family, their biggest concern is getting a new garden ready for spring. When everyone in the garden suddenly goes missing — there’s only one gnome to call — Sherlock Gnomes. The famous detective and sworn protector of the city shows up with his sidekick Watson to investigate the case. The mystery soon leads the gnomes on a rollicking adventure as they meet all-new ornaments and explore an undiscovered side of London.

The Good

  • The recreation of the great hall in the Natural History Museum is rather beautiful and it doesnt stop there. London is painstakingly recreated.
  • It’s a funny take on the Sherlock legend. This outing is more like Toy Story with Gnomes than the first. It’s rather clever with its jokes and its overall plot.

The Bad

  • Gnomeo and Juliet are a bit redundant and the inter fighting just proves that Romeo and Juliet we’re doomed to fail had they not been so dramatic.
  • I also really didn’t like that they sacrificed the characters and their relationship for the sake of the plot. It feels a little cheap.
  • Sherlock’s mind palace starts off as a cute transition, but by the third venture its lost its novelty.
  • The set up takes too long for such a short film.

The Ugly

  • I’m not sold on the Elton John soundtrack. Yes, it has the Britishness but it lacks the charm by being a sole artists back catalogue.

Toy Story (1995)

Length: 1Hr 21

Rating: PG

Release: 22.3.1996

About: Woody (Tom Hanks), a good-hearted cowboy doll who belongs to a young boy named Andy (John Morris), sees his position as Andy’s favorite toy jeopardized when his parents buy him a Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) action figure. Even worse, the arrogant Buzz thinks he’s a real spaceman on a mission to return to his home planet. When Andy’s family moves to a new house, Woody and Buzz must escape the clutches of maladjusted neighbor Sid Phillips (Erik von Detten) and reunite with their boy.

The Good

  • “You uncultured swine” there are so many pun-tastings lines in this beauty. It makes the dialogue smart, funny and, therefore, a film that grows with a child.
  • The Joss Whedon influence. ‘They’re not lying down on the job.’ – scene moves to the soldiers lying down on the job. While I don’t know I can confirm that he wrote THAT line, but Whedon has explained that it’s something he did in Avengers Assemble. There’s a few other lines like this and in this they come across like dad humour, which I find strangely comforting.
  • You couldn’t have better actors than Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. That line ‘you. Are. A. Toy.’ has perfect delivery and one I parrot.
  • Its pace is brilliant and never has any lulls. In fact it’s the perfect cause and effect movie for any Film Studies student to analyse.

The Bad and the Ugly

  • Sid scared me as a child. He still scares me now. The only thing that scares me more are the mangled toys. I don’t know if this makes me a pussy, but it gave me nightmares and was pretty much the reason why I didn’t like it as a kid.

Final Thoughts

It was, much like a Lion King, a film I disliked as a kid. However, I’ve grown to love it and I’m very much looking forward to part 4 in a few weeks time.

Mary Poppins Returns (2018)

Rating: U

Length: 2Hr 10

Release: 21.12.2018

About: Now an adult with three children, bank teller Michael Banks learns that his house will be repossessed in five days unless he can pay back a loan. His only hope is to find a missing certificate that shows proof of valuable shares that his father left him years earlier. Just as all seems lost, Michael and his sister receive the surprise of a lifetime when Mary Poppins — the beloved nanny from their childhood — arrives to save the day and take the Banks family on a magical, fun-filled adventure.

The Good

  • The song in the China bowl was a highlight. It was as close to the original feel.
  • Colin Firth clearly had fun with his role and it brings a little joy to the bank.
  • Julie Walters as Ellen. I couldn’t think of anyone better to replace the original actress that played Ellen. Equally, David Warner does an excellent job as Admiral Boom.
  • Original Jane was a lovely touch and nod to the original. Not much fuss is made about the scene and doesn’t detract from the story.
  • Dick Van Dyke looks picture perfect in his role as Mr Dawes Jnr. His dancing brings cheers and tears. Such a wonderful nod to the man who made the first outing such a success.

The Bad

  • The skeleton plot is essentially a clone of the Julie Andrews’ outing, just given a spin. For example, the tidying becomes a bath, the chalk drawing becomes a china bowl and the Uncle becomes a cousin. It’s sad as it has potential and certainly could have surpassed the original, if only it broke the mould.
  • While the appearance of Angela Lansbury causes me to smile, it’s very obvious that the role was written for Andrews. It then becomes a little bittersweet. I completely understand why Andrews declined the offer; I just wish she hadn’t.
  • I wasn’t fond of much of the music. Although, in all fairness most of the original music would fit here too.
  • Michael and Jane: relationship feels flat and lacks any chemistry.

The Ugly

  • I’m afraid that, for me, Emily Blunt was not right for the role. The accent, the ability to flit between the firm and fantasy stalls and her flirtations with Jack feel a little groomy when you think he was a kid in the first movie’s storyline.

Darkest Hour (2017)

Length: 2hr 5

Release: 12.1.2018

Rating: PG

About: A thrilling and inspiring true story begins at the precipice of World War II as, within days of becoming Prime Minister of Great Britain, Winston Churchill (Academy Award nominee Gary Oldman) must face one of his most turbulent and defining trials: exploring a negotiated peace treaty with Nazi Germany, or standing firm to fight for the ideals, liberty and freedom of a nation. As the unstoppable Nazi forces roll across Western Europe and the threat of invasion is imminent, and with an unprepared public, a skeptical King, and his own party plotting against him, Churchill must withstand his darkest hour, rally a nation, and attempt to change the course of world history.

The Good

  • Gary Oldman. He’s always been a chameleon, but his portrayal as Winston Churchill made him almost unrecognisable and It’s not hard to see why Oldman took home the Oscar in 2018; he was fully immersed in the role and made the film what it was.
  • Ben Mendelsohn is, once again, earning his place within Hollywood. He’s an ideal fit for King George and his chemistry with Oldman is a delight to watch.
  • Lily James gives a fine performance and certainly feels at home in this period piece. She’s another fine actor who is able to hold her own and raise others as a result.
  • There are some beautiful scenes; ones in which you’d want to pause, print and display. The colour and focus all draws you in. It’s always a difficult one for me, watching a film at home, however it’s a good sign that my phone remained off other than for finding out who the snakes in government were.

The Bad

  • Owing to my lack of knowledge when it comes to political history, I did struggle with the people presented to the audience at the beginning. It’s a little busy and people heavy at the start and I couldn’t help but feel thrown in the deep end.
  • Lily James. As much as she gives a solid performance, I cannot help but feel she’s a character put in place to appease the critics and viewers waging war on equality. Without her imput and given Kristen Scott Thomas’ small role, this would be a ‘boy’s club’ movie, as it’s the way society was at those times ‘thems the rules’ as James’ War Room tour guide explains. The problem stands in the fact that the character is almost rolled in and out periodically and there’s large sections were I wonder if she’s left for good. Churchill letting her in on Dunkirk, while story-wise is a nice touch, seems too implausible to be believed.

The Ugly

  • My emotions watching this movie were largely based upon watching from a perspective of hindsight. I felt so very frustrated at the opposition Churchill faced and even the notion of ‘brokering peace’ with Hitler brought me to tears. Even knowing how it was to end and that Churchill is a celebrated political leader did not help; the writing and performances had me believing this could have been a possibility.

Final Thoughts

A powerful film that takes some artistic licence to tell a cinematic story. Some work well for me and others I’m at odds with.

As a woman, I do not want a lip service character for the sake of checking a box and being politically correct. Period pieces are one area in which it stands out more than others.

The Hollow (2004)

Rating: 15

Length: 1Hr 23

Release: 25.10.2004

About: The presence of Ichabod Crane’s descendant (Kevin Zegers) in Sleepy Hollow conjures the Headless Horseman, and slaughter ensues.

The Good

  • Kaley couco is a decent watch. While watching this I felt she was a little reminiscent of SMG in the early years of Buffy. I’d say she’d have been even better, had she been given a little more to work with.
  • It’s an alright plot and is certainly a good idea for an updated Sleepy Hollow without Ichabod being Steve Rogered into the modern age.
  • The death scene of the second couple is hilarious. Illogical, but oh so funny.
  • It’s a short movie, so while the bad and ugly might outweigh the good, you won’t be in celluloid hell for long.

The Bad

  • The character of Ian makes no sense. He has the vibe of Max from Hocus Pocus and I do don’t buy him commanding an audience within the month of arriving in town. I also don’t get why Brady has it out for the coach’s son?! That relationship would have worked well if they flipped it, made them friends but had that conflict of them both liking the same girl.

The Ugly

  • Guys, Game of Thrones has nothing on this! Even in the day time scenes it’s dark, dark, dark. I suspect it was to hide the fact it had a very little budget.
  • The sound mixing was atrocious. At its most basic, the score was too loud and the audio low and tinny. However, when you then consider the sound effects it’s simply lazy and wrong; a sound more frequently associated with a stab rather than a swipe.

The Cure (1996)

Length: 1Hr 37

Rating: 12

Release: 14.6.1996

About: Having just moved to a new town, Erik (Brad Renfro) is thrilled when he makes friends with his younger neighbor, Dexter (Joseph Mazzello), and his friendly mom (Annabella Sciorra). Despite the disapproval of his own neglectful mother (Diana Scarwid), Erik grows close to Dexter, who suffers from AIDS. As the disease’s impact on Dexter’s life grows more noticeable, Erik and Dexter embark on a quest to New Orleans down the Mississippi River, where hope may yet lie with a doctor there.

The Good

  • It’s a well made film that could easily sit alongside your Sunday afternoon classics; Stand By Me, My Girl and Forever Young. The two boys will draw you in, right before your heart is broken.
  • It’s a powerful look at the impact of HIV and the social misconception that surrounded the auto immune disease at the time.
  • I love the fact that Medicine Man gets a mention here. It was one of my favourite films as a kid. I do love how they initially try out candy bars as a cure, before moving on to plants.

The Bad

  • I think I needed a scene or two from the mothers while the boys were away. While there are a powerful scene or two including them, I feel as if I need to see the reaction to the letter.

The Ugly

  • You’ll cry. Fat ugly tears! There’s a reason why I referenced the films that I did. The moment of the first ‘cry wolf’, you’ll know how it’ll happen too.
  • If that bit doesn’t get you, the final scene most definitely will.

Pretty in Pink (1986)

Length: 1Hr 37

Rating: 15

Release: 25.4.1986

About:

Worst description of this movie was found on IMBD: A poor girl must choose between the affections of dating her childhood sweetheart or a rich but sensitive playboy.

The Good

  • Both Andrew McCarthy and James Spader are their 80s charming and bad boy selves respectively.
  • Annie Potts is just beautiful as the punk rebel who beats to her own drum.
  • The music is a glorious nostalgia trip.

The Bad

  • The film works around too many scenes in which Andie converses with only one other character. It feels very disjointed, slow and inanimate.
  • What happens to the best mate we don’t see after the volleyball game? I hate characters that are used as plot devices. Where was she at prom?

The Ugly

  • The dress! She had two beautiful dresses and made one extra ugly, shapeless one. Jesus! I loath the dress and that dress making scene.
  • Duckie. Fuck me, he takes up too much of this film, he’s a selfish fucker and a very bad friend. I spend every moment of him being on screen wanting to punch him in his toxic narcissistic face. When we get two, very lame, excuses for dates between Andi and Blaine it’s hard to not feel resentment for the extensive time spent with such an unlikeable character.
  • The lack of Andi/Blaine. Okay, so perhaps the film is more about a rite of passage for Andi, but the romance is a big part of it. I need to believe it and I just, well I just don’t.

The Dead Don’t Die (2019)

Rating: 15

Length: 1Hr 44

Release: 12.7.2019

About: In the sleepy small town of Centerville, something is not quite right. The moon hangs large and low in the sky, the hours of daylight are becoming unpredictable, and animals are beginning to exhibit unusual behaviors. News reports are scary, and scientists are concerned, but no one foresees the strangest and most dangerous repercussion that will soon start plaguing Centerville: the dead rise from their graves and feast on the living, and the citizens must battle to survive.

The Good

Its batshit crazy and beating to its own drum. It’s that confident awkwardness that brings charm to the gritty independent feel that also came with Only Lover’s Left Alive. With The Dead Don’t Die, it has a more mainstream ease to its plot that will ensure its enjoyed by all.

The casting is incredible and I certainly want to see more films cast Adam Driver and Bill Murray together. Driver has this ability to make the meta notes so seamless to the rest of the dialogue that you can’t help but be a little thrown at times: my advice is to just sit back and enjoy the ride.

It is, from the reading around the film I’ve done, a treasure trove of Easter Eggs for movie fans of the zombie genre. Me, having watched very few zombie films, didn’t not spot any of these. It didn’t detract from my enjoyment of the film and stands in its own right.

The Bad

  • Carol Kane needed more to do. I friggin love that woman and she just needed one or two more lines of dialogue.
  • There’s a storyline involving three kids that doesn’t quite connect with the other threads. It’s a shame because it just needed one thing to bring it all together.

The Ugly

  • I’m not sure what I make of Tilda Swinton’s story arc, if that’s what you can call it. There are certainly bits I liked and even bits I loved about her Scottish newcomer with epic swordsmanship. However her resolution gave me Crystal Skull PTSD, so I’m not sure I’m sold on that I’m afraid.

Final Thoughts

It’s certainly a decent watch and it has an amazing score, but you’ll either find it hilarious or extremely unfunny.