Film Review: When We First Met (2018)

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Length: 1Hr 37
Rating: 12
About: After spending a night with the girl of his dreams only to become just friends, a man gets the opportunity to travel through time and alter that night over and over again until he gets everything perfect.

The Good

  • It’s an amazing cast, fronted by Jack Blabk-lite Adam DeVine giving us his best leading man smize. He’s charming, funny and not beyond playing the goof.
  • This is the sort of film that cinemas are missing on their schedules; a good, nostalgic and gimmicky rom-com that wreaks of Big, About Time and Groundhog Day. It’s sweet and inoffensive.

The Bad

  • There’s some scenes that are a little too cringe to be entertaining; from taking advice from his wing man, to consequential frosted tips.

The Ugly

  • I couldn’t see quite how they were going to get DeVine’s Noah and Alexandra Daddario’s Avery together; Robbie Amell was never going to be the bad guy. So it was too much of a surprise that his true love interest was in almost all the scenes too. It felt as if it was tacked on the end. It felt fake ad didn’t give me that heartwarming feeling I normally get with a romance.

Final Thoughts

Great potential, sound premise but such poor execution.

Love Han x

Movie Review: King of Thieves (2018)

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Length: 1Hr 48
Rating: 15
About: A crew of retired crooks pulls off a major heist in London’s jewellery district, but what begins as a nostalgic last hurrah for the group quickly becomes a brutal nightmare when greed overtakes them.

The Good

  • I can’t fault Michael Caine. He’s brilliant and I know most of my experience of him is as a mentor and fatherly figure. Even Now You See Me, is tame compared to his Get Carter roots. It’s good to see him in a modern heist movie and he certainly seems at home.
  • It’s certainly an antidote to the fast paced action blockbusters that are saturating our box office. Having the heist done by a group of aging men who have lived their life on the silver screen is refreshing.
  • On that note, its really funny. Between the British geezer humour and the commentary of how times have changed, there’s not a scene goes by without a chuckle. It’s best seen in the group preparing for the first night of the heist.
  • There’s quite a nice touch seen with the use of footage from older heist movies; making connections between the behaviours then, and now.
  • You can’t deny; its quite a cast they’ve gotten together to play cops and robbers on screen for a few hours. You can tell they’re all having fun and it just adds to the viewer’s enjoyment.

The Bad

  • I’m not sold on Charlie Cox’s performance and I can’t put my finger on what it is. I know that while the others know who they are portraying, Cox had nothing. However, it does have what I feel is a little inconsistency. The meekness and jittery demeanor doesn’t mesh with the actions in the later part of the movie. I was almost waiting for a
    Keyser Soze type change in personality that matched with the ‘mastermind’ status Basil is given.

The Ugly

  • Did I really need to see Gambon and Courtenay converse in the whirlpool?! Did we need that many iterations of the word ‘cunt’? Well, not really but part of me likes that the film didn’t really hold back.

Final Thoughts

It’s a decent watch that i’ll most likely pop on again at some point, but I think the most to be gained from it for me, is a motivation to see all of the main players in some of their earlier films.

Love Han x

Movie Review: Overboard (2018)

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“Can you get me a prettier nurse?”

Length: 1Hr 52
Rating: 12
About: Kate is a single, working-class mother of three who’s hired to clean a luxury yacht that belongs to Leonardo — a selfish, spoiled and wealthy Mexican playboy. After unjustly firing Kate, Leonardo falls off the boat and wakes up with no memory of who he is. To get payback, Kate shows up at the hospital and convinces the confused amnesiac that they’re married. As Leonardo tries to get used to manual labor and his new family, Kate starts to wonder how long she can keep fooling her fake husband.
Netflixhttps://www.netflix.com/title/80216281

The Good

The cast is brilliant. Eugenio Derbez for me was a curious casting choice, but once you see the film he will win you over. His privilege, charm and development of character is on point. Leo’s growing relationship with Kate’s three daughters was sincere, heartfelt and rather cute. A difficult thing to pull off without seeming seedy in the current climate.
Eva Longoria was just delightful in a supporting role as Kate’s best friend. She’s got the sass and the guts to get the plot rolling and I’m almost sorry she wasn’t given the role of Kate; she’d have nailed it.
Of course, that’s not to say Anna Faris was bad. Over the years she’s really come into her own and there are some sincere and emotional scenes that she owns that I don’t think she’d have pulled off a decade ago.

The Bad

It was rather slow and lacking any charm or humour. There were a *few* giggles to be had, but it was with old and tired jokes which means I already know this will not stand up to repeated viewings. The film takes up too much screen time establishing both Leo and Kate’s situations. I’m not sure if the creative team felt that more was needed here due to the gender bending of the premise, but it felt like it was trying too hard to justify Kate’s motivation to bring him into the family home.
It had a hard job, trying to live up to the original movie. It’s a classic Sunday afternoon, waiting for your roast dinner sort of film. Quite a brave film too, having it be a single dad and a yuppie woman. There really isn’t anything that can be added to it, and it is almost like the film knew that too.

The Ugly

No so much the fault of the film, but Netflix and its dodgy formatting. Make sure you go into the film with your subtitles on. It was about an hour in and three scenes in Spanish before I hit the subtitle button. The first scene I thought was meant to be like that as one woman slipped into English a few times. It meant that I was pulled out of the film. Okay, so it’s not like its a complicated plot, but it does show that those scenes don’t add anything either. It also meant that the subtitles had to be on for everything and not just the bits we needed translating. For me, parring down Leo’s family and using that screen time to work on Leo’s relationship with Kate would not have harmed at all.
In fact, I really needed more Leo and Kate. Their chemistry was brilliant and you really could see Kate’s feelings changing, but the falling in love part felt like a LOT of scenes went missing.

Final Thoughts

Overboard is worth a watch, but the most you’ll get out of it is a hankering to watch the original.

Love Han x

Mamma Mia! Here I Go Again (2018)

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Length: 1Hr 54

Rating: PG

About: In 1979 young Donna, Tanya and Rosie graduate from Oxford University — leaving Donna free to embark on a series of adventures throughout Europe. On her journeys, she makes the acquaintances of Harry, Bill and Sam — the latter whom she falls in love with, but he’s also the man who breaks her heart. In the present day, Donna’s pregnant daughter, Sophie, dreams of renovating a taverna while reuniting with her mother’s old friends and boyfriends on the Greek island of Kalokairi.

The Good

Well, the joy of the first outing means that you’re invested from the outset and you care about finding out what they’re all up to.

The new cast is a perfect fit for the older counterparts we already know of. You can’t fault the Donna and the Dynamos; Lily Janes, Jessica Keenan Wynn and Alexa Davies steal this film and the songs that they sing.

The Bad

It feels rather weak by having the two timelines running; one of which was boiled down to a single song in the first movie. Other than retconning Rosie and Bill’s relationship, I’m not sure there was enough added to the 1979 plot. If the plot was given more room to breath and the boys given something other than lip service cameos, I would have enjoyed it more.

The Ugly

Unfortunately, all the ABBA hits were used and what we’re left with are the B sides. Yes, they are well shoe horned into the plot, but only hard core fans will be singing along this time.

It’s another film that reveals too much with the trailer. There were too many things that play out as if we’re not meant to know. It leaves you feeling a little deflated.

Movie Review- The Meg (2018)

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“Just keep swimming”

About: Previously thought to be extinct, a massive creature attacks a deep-sea submersible, leaving it disabled and trapping the crew at the bottom of the Pacific. With time running out, a visionary oceanographer recruits rescue diver Jonas Taylor to save the crew and the sea itself from an unimaginable threat — a 75-foot-long prehistoric shark known as the Megalodon.
Length: 1 Hr 52

The Good

Who doesn’t love a good shark movie? Who doesn’t enjoy the mindless plot of a Jason Statham movie? Put them together and you’ve got an action movie with enough laughs to keep it going.
It’s plot isn’t as simple as it appears on the outset, which is brilliant for those who a worries that its simply rehashing Deep Blue Sea.
I squealed a little at the arrival of The Office’s alumni Rainn Wilson. While his character is a little bit of a confusion, Wilson’s humour is a welcome addition.

The Bad

Ruby Rose and the ‘team’ were underused. Obviously it’s a Statham vehicle, but they just needed a few more scenes and a little more development for me. Especially when you’re needing to feel for them in the final act, it’s hard when you’ve spent zero time connecting with them.
Part of the charm of this sort of movie is the ‘bad’. This film was actually lacking some of that ‘cringe’ factor that I personally needed. I needed the film to let go just a little and give me more lines like ‘just keep swimming’.

The Ugly

The opening scene felt a little clunky. Okay, Jason’s got PTSD. It could have been done very nicely through flashbacks. I needed something other than a five minute exposition that has me on Jason’s side and thinking everyone else is a dick for not believing him.
I want to doubt him, I want his story arc being me learning that he’s not the alcoholic wreck everyone else sees. It just feels a little too much to have EVERYONE against him when we know what he’s seen.

Incredibles 2 (2018)

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Length: 2Hr 5

Rating: PG

About: Everyone’s favorite family of superheroes is back in “Incredibles 2” – but this time Helen (voice of Holly Hunter) is in the spotlight, leaving Bob (voice of Craig T. Nelson) at home with Violet (voice of Sarah Vowell) and Dash (voice of Huck Milner) to navigate the day-to-day heroics of “normal” life. It’s a tough transistion for everyone, made tougher by the fact that the family is still unaware of baby Jack-Jack’s emerging superpowers. When a new villain hatches a brilliant and dangerous plot, the family and Frozone (voice of Samuel L. Jackson) must find a way to work together again—which is easier said than done, even when they’re all Incredible.

The Good

The best part of this film is the character of Jack-Jack. Not only is he cute, Jack-Jack brings with him some of the best scenes. From his face off with a tash panda to his sleepover with a fan favourite. I almost wish more time was spent on this plot thread.

Having Elastigirl take on the bulk of the crime fighting was a good move; it allowed for Mr Incredible to keep house and explore their dynamic a little further. I loved the scenes in which Bob helped his Children develop and I couldn’t help but chuckle at his screams over maths.

Interestingly, I loved the deep conversation that happened over dinner regarding how children should be brought up. An interaction that will go over most pint-size viewer’s heads, but it really struck a chord with me.

Michael Giacchino is back and he impecibly builds upon his original score. Giacchino’s work is brilliant and this is no exception.

The Bad

I’m not fond of the 1950s styling this time around. I’ve been spoiled by my Marvel movies and this blend of nostagia and future don’t work for me. However, I’m sure on another viewing it won’t bother me so much.

The Ugly

The first Incredibles came at the beginning of the superhero genre taking off. Unfortunately this second intallment has come at a time when the market is reaching its usaturation point. As a result, some of the plot points are too predictable and over used.

The momentum has definatly been lost with the length of time between films. I’ll admit, I haven’t recently watched the first installment, but a good film shouldn’t need you to.

Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)

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Length: 2Hr 15

Rating: 12

About: Young Han Solo finds adventure when he joins forces with a gang of galactic smugglers and a 190-year-old Wookie named Chewbacca. Indebted to the gangster Dryden Vos, the crew devises a daring plan to travel to the mining planet Kessel to steal a batch of valuable coaxium. In need of a fast ship, Solo meets Lando Calrissian, the suave owner of the perfect vessel for the dangerous mission — the Millennium Falcon.

The Good

I loved Alden from the start. His charm, humour and chemistry with everyone. He IS Solo; I never once question his Solo evolving into Ford’s incarnation. The best example being the way Han tried to explain his way out of his first scrap.

My favourite thing is that the trailer threw me off about his relationship with Qi’ra… shows how trailers don’t need to reveal all. I also loved the added significance of the charm Han has always had.

The progression is a break from other films within the franchise: 3 years later allows us to move on with the story without the need for Han’s training. The war itself looked brutal and was an ideal place to pick up Han’s life.

NO DEATH STAR. I can’t explain how happy I am that the plot does not include anything to do with a Death Star.

CHEWIE!!!! That was the BEST way for those two to meet. Flawless and with just a hint of humour.

Beckett and his crew- biggest thing for me was that they pulled no punches. Yes, you know that x, y, z will survive… but if you show this before any of the others, I would think Han & Chewie were in jeopardy.

The shower scene- right tone/ humour and I’d say that’s fair to say for most of the film; which is exactly what you want after the comedy road kill that was Last Jedi.

Dryden‘ blades – fucking class. And not wielded by a Jedi/Sith: not so sure about the character, but I love the blades.

The lack of Jedi mythology is also refreshing. It changes the tone of the film completely, to the point where it feels closer to a western than a sci-fi. All the double crossing! It was just a good genre movie and it makes no apologise for it.

L3- sassy robots always work well in this franchise and L3 is giving Chopper, Animated Rebel’s dick of a robot, a run for his money. L3 is perfect! Rebellion ‘equality’. L3’s interaction with Qi’ra is just wonderful and something no other Star Wars could have handled.

LANDO!!!! Lando, I hate to admit, is completely pitch perfect and a true definition of pansexual without making a big deal about it. He’s always been my favourite character and I’m so happy that despite issues I have with the actor, I still adore Lando. Especially when he’s recording the Calrissian Chronicles.

L3 and Lando’s relationship is really beautiful; I love the frustration, the banter and the sacrifice they bother make.

There’s space for a sequel and things are set in motion in case, but I’d be satisfied with just this outing.

The Unsure

Voicing of Lady Proxima. Reminded me of the bag lady from Labyrinth/ chicken from Return to Oz and it’s always set me on edge.

The capes of Lando’s. ALMOST too far and close to Sabre territory fo me. While the man looked good in a cape, and still does, I don’t see him being a character that has it as a signature piece.

Maul reveal- the longer I stayed on it he looked a little off and I couldn’t pinpoint it. Also, as someone who hasn’t seen all of the animated Clone Wars, I feel a little like this is fan service rather than genuine plot. Side bar- I do believe, however, Maul’s resurrection is fully explained in Clone Wars. Plus, even I think it was a stupid move to kill off such an amazing character in Phantom.

The Bad

I’d like to have seen Maz on the ship; there was so much implied in Force Awakens about Han’s relationship with her that it just seems a little silly not to have it.

Lando pissing off- I need more of a friendship build between him and Han to believe that Han would risk going to Cloud city in Empire. I’ve always felt there was a deeper rooted history between them and even perhaps that they grew up together on the same planet.

Final Thoughts

This is quite possibly my favourite of the franchise. I find it hard to be objective about Empire as I went in to that knowing it was a masterpiece; where as this, this I’ve watched with fresh thoughts and no critical pre-Reading to influence my thoughts.

I guess only time will only truly tell, but to quote Han in this film: I’ve got a good feeling about this.

The Spy Who Dumped Me

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“Mom, did you get the dick pics I sent you”

Length: 1Hr 58

Rating: 15

About: The Spy Who Dumped Me tells the story of Audrey (Kunis) and Morgan (McKinnon), two best friends who unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of the women discovers the boyfriend who dumped her was actually a spy.

The Good

The casting was ideal. Mila Kunis taking point as the dumped girlfriend was brilliant. Teaming her with Kate McKinnon was a stroke of genius and I’d love to see them work together in the future.

McKinnon, on the most part, was flawless. I’d say there were a few points where she missed the comedy mark, but when you’re the only person driving the humour; we can give her a pass. However, what this film has proven for me is that McKinnon (as much as i adore her) isn’t ready for a lead part. She has potential for a Melissa McCarthy type career path, if she can tone down her SNL persona and bring more of a Holtzman to the celluloid.

Sam Heughan is adorable once he works out the kinks and is much more comfortable. He’s again, someone who will be amazing in films in about a decade once he’s gotten his feet a little wetter in the industry.

The Bad

The best role Justin Theroux has ever done is in Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. Why? Because he spends most of the movie silent. There’s nothing there for me. He’s the equivalent of the Silence in Dr Who; you forget about him existing once he’s off the screen. To amp up the comedy, you need to pull an Another Guys on this plot thread and (oh, sidebar: Sean Bean would have been perfect, if not a little old) either have the perfect action hero (Dwayne Johnson, Tom Cruise, Taron Edgerton) or the most moral, by the book and stuffy (Think Rimmer from Red Dwarf and Captain America have a love child).

The Ugly

The tone was slightly off and it was lacking proper comedy that wasn’t directly from Kate McKinnon’s performance. Instead, the film amped up the violence and I’m not certain it was the best move. McKinnon’s humour can come across one note if over played.

Final Thoughts

The film missed a trick too; the sting at the end was brilliant and a massive strength. Why couldn’t we have had a Private Benjamin type film going on?!

Bird Box – 15

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Length- 2 Hr 4

About- When a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain — if you see it, you die. The survivors must now avoid coming face to face with an entity that takes the form of their worst fears. Searching for hope and a new beginning, a woman and her children embark on a dangerous journey through the woods and down a river to find the one place that may offer sanctuary. To make it, they’ll have to cover their eyes from the evil that chases them — and complete the trip blindfolded.

The Good

Sandra Bullock is able to hold her own in Bird Box. She’s long been considered leading lady material, but it’s taken her time to break out from the romantic comedy role or plucky positivity hound. The sour and angry demeanour that once seemed so alien and forced in some of her performances fits her like a glove. She is scary and heartbreakingly detached from the children in her care and I don’t think that was something I would have seen as a convincing role from Bullock even 5 years ago.

Let’s face it, this film is A Quiet Place with a different bodily sense being the focus. That in itself isn’t significant or would encourage those who’ve seen the John Krasinski directed film to watch this approach. However, what I will say this has, that A Quiet Place perhaps lacks is the body count. A Quiet Place feels stifled by its limited cast, while Bird Box allows you to explore the aftermath as a society, rather than a family.

It’s a curious story, which an ending that is much more hopeful than I was expecting. I’ve heard talk of A Quiet Place gaining a sequel, which is odd as I don’t think there was enough to it, or characters sympathetic enough for me to wish for more. Bird Box, on the other hand, is well set up for a sequel.

The Bad

It is a little too derivative. Something that I feel is more to do with timing than anything else. It’s A Quiet Place meets Mom & Dad; both films that were released earlier this year. Mom & Dad is in itself a sudo remake of the 1976 Who Can Kill a Child? Sometimes, with films like these it doesn’t matter which is better, just which one got there first.

It was a sensible thing to have it released on Netflix rather than a theatrical release. I’m not sure people would have dropped the money on a film that, on paper, seems to be A Quiet Place bandwagon jump.

The Ugly

Its a violent affair and it all comes at once. I’m not a squimish person, but I found a number of scenes just a little tough to handle. At the root of this, is perhaps the fact that when faced with this sort of situation, the mob mentality in our own society would result in this sort of violence.

Final Thoughts

It’s a decent watch and I’m always grateful to see Sandy Bullock on the screen but I can’t see it jumping to people’s most loved films. However, if I’m watching films of this ilk; I’d rather watch Who Can Kill a Child? again.

Blade Runner 2049

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What a pile of wank. I’m currently 57 minutes in and I’m starting my review. That’s after I’ve checked Wikipedia for the plot to find out what the fuck was going on. That’s not unique to be fair, I needed Wiki for the first one. Although I at least held off until the hour mark. This incarnation had me reaching for my phone 20 minutes in.

The Good

The basic premise is there: replicant sprogged up without anyone knowing so there’s a time sensitive Mcguffin and some connections to the original. Hell; this should be a fast paced, action heavy film that has them looking for the child of the replicant revolution.

Robin Wright is brilliant casting. A million miles away from Buttercup, but actually not all that different. Wright always seems to be drawn to strong female characters and this is no exception. Robin Wright will forever stand side by side with Carrie Fisher as powerful women and role models not only for me, but for all who want to level the playing field. Her presence in the film is strong, but I’d have loved to have seen more of her.

The female presence and representation on the whole is brilliant. Not only as female characters, but as women who aren’t held back by society; they’re strong, motivated and add something that was missing in the first.

The Bad

This is a personal thing, but visually this film isn’t right for me. It’s not a successor to the 1982 Harrison Ford helmed outing; its not strong enough and tbere’s nothing about this that will be seen as iconic decades to come. There’s a tonal asymmetry; from the barren landscapes and the concept that the the future is bright and bleached of all colour to the dark and Japan inspired landscape that became the benchmark of future landscaping in movies. For me, they don’t gel and really pull me out of an already precarious viewer attachment.

Another personal issue is how the future is represented. I would have preferred the style to have progressed from the 80s movie and not from the technology available today. Obviously, when I watched Blade Runner last year, the film looked more nostalgic than forward thinking, however if you develop the concept it then becomes an almost ‘alternative’ future. It needed some visual continuity that didn’t feel like homage. Plus, I’m sick of glossy technological futures. All you need to do is look in HMV (sadly, perhaps not for much longer) and see that vinyl, mock VHS and distressed books are all the rage right now. The creepy ‘full of crap’ dude in Labyrinth said it best ‘sometimes the way forward, is the way back’.

The Ugly

What sort of Frankenstein filmmaker casts Ryan Gosling in the staring role and strip him of all his charisma and personality?! You don’t bring someone like this to the table and neuter him. It’s not that he can’t act. This is all about direction and source material.

Is Jared Leto on mission to destroy his own career? While he may be pretty and have the most beautiful hair I’ve ever seen, between this and Suicide Squad I’m getting very close to avoiding his films. His character is not really needed, especially considering the violent and overtly rapey scene in which he cuts open the replicant’s stomach for not being able to reproduce. The scene is too intimate, too naked for me to be comfortable with it. Never mind the fact that I feel like he’s blaming the woman for his failings.

Why the fuck did it take 1 hour 41 minutes to get Harrison Ford on my screen and why, oh why, did I immediately wish he’d not showed up at all?! In the biggest casting disappointment since the Ghost and the Darkness (sold on the casting of Michael Douglas, who is in the film for no more than 20 minutes), Harrison arrives way too long after I’ve lost the will to live. And to add insult to injury, I don’t even feel like he’s Decker. I mean where’s this love of the crooner’s come from? Why do I feel like Harrison came to set, read the lines and took his wodge of money. Won’t lie, he peeked my interest with ’that was the plan’; but I couldn’t tell you what that plan was.

Final thoughts

Blade Runner was, without a doubt, style over substances; its a Christmas poo in which someone has swallowed a glitter pill. Blade Runner 2049 is neither style or substance. It’s that premature shit you have after a heavy night on the town and your early morning hangover coffee opens your bowels before you, or your guts, are ready.

Dumplin’ (2018)

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“I’m not the Joan of Arc of fat girls”
Netflix 1 Hr 50 The plus-size, teenage daughter of a former beauty queen signs up for her mum’s pageant as a protest that escalates when other contestants follow in her footsteps, revolutionising the pageant and their small Texas town.

The Good

The cast is incredible. Rising star Danielle Macdonald is incredible as protagonist and revolutionary, Willowdean. Having seen Macdonald in the equally brilliant Patti Cake$ I knew the film was in safe hands, but I didn’t expect her to become a role model for me. Jennifer Anniston is going from strength to strength with her role choices. While the romantic comedies during her time on Friends suited her well, she was made for these grittier performances. Rounding out the cast and adding depth the plot that looks at the lack of diversity within beauty pageants is the ever amazing Bex Taylor-Klaus as the alternative Hannah. Bex brings with her the confidence and cool personality that make me miss Scream: The TV Show. I love that the addition of Bex shows that there are exclusions beyond body shape in the world of Miss Teen. I also adored that her androgynous appearance is not commented upon in any way. It’s what I’ve been waiting for; androgyny not identifying someone as belonging to a particular label.

The Bad

The bad is that this film didn’t get a theatrical release. This film needs to be watched by all; it’s message is one of strength. With such negative films finding their way onto Netflix recently, it’s good to see one that promotes a positive attitude to the diversity of women and the beauty each and every one of them has.

The Ugly (tears)

The film hits all the right notes for tears central. The story deals with grief, self esteem and an uplifting hope that brings a tear to your eye. The charm is found in it’s sincerity; something which is difficult to achieve when the subject focuses on beauty pageants. 

Robin Hood

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Release date: 21.11.2018
Length: 1Hr 56

About:

Robin of Loxley (Taron Egerton) a war-hardened Crusader and his Moorish commander (Jamie Foxx) mount an audacious revolt against the corrupt English crown in a thrilling action-adventure packed with gritty battlefield exploits, mind-blowing fight choreography, and a timeless romance.

The Good

The cast is pretty decent if not close to perfect. With a nice change of pace, we see Taron Edgerton providing us with a younger, more political Robin of Loxley. A self aware ‘toff’, humbled and embittered by war with a moral code to motivate his civil crusade against the corrupt. It’s hard not to love the man who brought a charm to Eggsie, Eagle and Elton.

Ben Mendelsohn, if people don’t mind me being so bold, is fast filling the hole left by the late, great Alan Rickman. Successfully handling the bad guy mantel in films like Ready Player One and Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, he’s a shoe in for the Sheriff of Nottingham. While it’s safe to say, he didn’t have as much fun or ham up the role as born-to-be-badguy Rickman, he gives it his own flare and brilliant villainy.

In fact, one of the strengths of this production is that Nottingham is not the highest rank of the dastardly food chain. And when you’re historically known bad guy starts to tremble, something interesting is about to happen.

Honorary mentions must go to Fifty Shades actor Jamie Dornan who seems much more at home playing support than lead, and Tim Minchin as Friar Tuck, who steals every scene he’s in and makes me wonder why he’s not in more stuff.

I liked that this film doesn’t assume that Robin Hood’s story is something that can, and should be contained to one movie outing. It’s just a shame that I’d rather not see a second outing for these outlaws.

The Bad

Its that old clique of having all the best people but still providing the audience with a steaming turd of a film. I wanted to love this film; I even gave it a second chance to win me over. However, both times I felt like I’d had my eyes superglued open and subjected to Peter Jackson’s Hobbit followed by the extended editions of Bored of the Rings.

It feels bloated, insincere and lacking any credibility. The script is dire, takes itself too seriously and gives the audience no rewards. The final act is given no gravitas, and the motivation of all the players are either too thin or so convoluted it makes my ears bleed. Case in point is Sheriff of Nottingham and his hatred of those who help him in his treason. His reveal of being sexually abused does not make his motivation clear or just.

The Ugly

When is this bad boy set?! The narrative suggests medieval and they certainly hammer home that this is firmly placed within the papal sanctioned Crusades that began in 1095.

However, from the moment Mendelsohn’s Nottingham donned his bleached grey leather coat that possibly belonged in his Ready Player One wardrobe, I was thrown off.

All the costumes scream future, rather than past. There’s an attempt of medieval stylings, but it’s too obvious that they came from the disposable-fashion racks of the local Primark.

Then there’s the crusade units themselves; the language is too modern, as are the machine gun weapons that both sides of the war use. The uniforms and filming style would look perfect in a Call of Duty game play trailer, but not in a period piece that was attempting to escape the curse of bad Robin Hood productions.

The film is set in a very Mount Doom-like post-apocalyptic Nottingham. It’s seaside town of mountainous proportions with a epic mine that the people can live in set beside Japan inspired architecture that does not blend with the medieval setting it’s pathetically attempting to convey.

Some of these things can be overlooked, but put it all together with the historical elements and you have a messy clash like oil on water. Which is fine, for some. However, for me I want a film that pulls me in and helps me escape from the concept of time and reality for a while; not something that pulls me out of the experience and gave me checking if my watch is ticking ever so painfully backwards.

Love Han x