Rating 15 Length 1h39 Release 9.4.2004 Director Edgar Wright About Shaun is a salesman whose life has no direction. However, his uneventful life takes a sudden turn when he has to singlehandedly deal with an entire community of zombies. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
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The biggest thing for me is the lack of a Bond actor. It’s a really stupid complaint given how little money this film was made on, but with both Hot Fuzz and World’s End both prominently starring a Bond, it just would have been a brilliant touch.
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Where do I start? I must admit that the first time I watched this movie, I wasn’t too enamoured. That said, I hadn’t watched too many zombie films at that point, so I couldn’t appreciate the homage. It’s all there; from camera angles to lines, it is a love letter to the zombie sub-genre.
The cast is spot on. Simon Pegg as the lead, Nick Frost as his best mate. Everyone who supports. Stunning! This film wouldn’t be the same without any of the people involved.
There’s so many sequences that really just… work. The record tossing in order to kill the invaders in their garden is genius and I love the ‘action’ sequence to Queen with the follow up of Your My Best Friend leadingus out to the credits.
Final Thoughts
I love this film. Not as much as I love Hot Fuzz, but this is what a spoof should be. Not the Scary Movie type.
Rating 18 Length 1h35 Release 4.11.2019 (Blu-ray release) Director Roger Spottiswoode About During a hazing, a fraternity of pre-med students has a particularly sinister prank in store for one their more timid pledges (Derek MacKinnon). With the help of a coed, Alana Maxwell (Jamie Lee Curtis), they pull off the prank so well that the pledge needs to be institutionalized as a result. After several years pass and people forget the incident, those involved with the prank are ready to celebrate their graduation by having a costume party on a train, but they haven’t escaped their past yet. Where to Watch: Amazon Prime Trailer:
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I have a massive issue with the handling of the trans character. It is a problem that many films have and it feeds into the issue that trans people have in society today. This is not the first film to portray someone who is a trans woman as someone who is not only deviant, but psychologically compromised. Over the last year, gender critical activists have used this Hollywood archetype of the trans woman as an excuse for their hate. While I give the film credit for hiring a known transvestite for the role, it doesn’t change the fact that the portrayal, and use of the character as a plot device, as grossly problematic.
The transition from one New Year’s Eve to another lacks a little context; the viewer certainly does need more than the ‘three years later’ credit. The audience already know going in that the killer is going to be Kenny so making a mystery of it is really pointless. Instead, it would have been better to hear what happened to him.
Other than Doc, and the blurb, it wasn’t overly clear that these students are pre-med. Maybe its that I watch too many medical shows, but these people weren’t really characterised as people involved in medicine.
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Hart Bocher, who most will know as Die Hard’s smarm Ellis, gets a doucebag expansion in this film. This role was clearly made for Bocher and its wonderful to see this man get more screen time.
The fact that we don’t see the first attack is amazing. Even the audience think that Ed is messing about, given that he’s just been near the magician’s equipment.
Jamie Lee Curtis gives us a much stronger character than Laurie in Terror Train. She challenges the behaviour of people around her. I also like how much remorse she shows towards Kenny.
I love that its set on New Year’s Eve rather than Halloween. I also love the concept of the killer taking on the outfit of the person previously killed. Yes, we know what the killer will turn up wearing next, but the characters in the film don’t and it really adds to the suspense.
Rating 18 Length 1h25 Release 17.1.1983 Director Sam Rami About Five friends travel to a remote cabin in the woods where they play a tape with incantations. This releases the demons which possess them in succession until only one is left fighting for survival. Moon: Full Moon sighted throughout the film. Where to Watch: Rented from Prime but is currently on Now Entertainment Trailer:
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The tree rape! Did it really have to be so explicit and gratuitous?! Does it also meant that the Deadening that the group go on to experience starts life as an STI?! Its all rather odd and is almost filmed with a certain, limited, target audience.
The Deadening voices, particularly of the women, really start to grate after a while. Particularly the three women, who were already hard to tell apart.
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The Super-8 feel really gives such a retro, intimate and indie vibe to the whole film. Its a refreshing change to see a film with rough edges and no Hollywood budget.
The story is simple, yet effective. There’s no twists or complications. It’s the ideal length and is, or was, a self contained story with no sights on setting up a sequel.
Bruce Campbell is awesome as Ash in his original form. To see the horror unfold around him while he comes to the realisation of the things he has to do, is something else.
Final Thoughts
I can see why this film was banned in places around the world, and it isn’t necessarily something I’ll watch again, but it is a must watch for any horror fans.
Rating 12 Length 2h05 Release 24.9.1999 Director Jan de Bont About Dr Marrow enlists Theo, Luke and Nell for a study of sleep disorders at the Hill House. As soon as the terrifying truth about the mansion is revealed, everyone is found fighting for their lives. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
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The CGI has not aged well. 1999 was a time in which CGI had become common place, but the work wasn’t given the money it really required to get it up to the standards set by Jurassic Park. The result is something that is added to, rather than blended into the film’s environment.
Nell being a relation of someone in the house was poorly executed. Something shouldn’t come from left field like this does. While the ‘Welcome home Elenore’ hints at a connection, everyone is dismissing it as a prank. What was needed was some more hints so it didn’t feel like a last minute addition to the story.
There’s a real lack of a body count and it doesn’t gel with what is presented. It gives the film a messy feel. Which can be explained when you discover that Spielberg took over editing duties from the director.
As previously mentioned, this film is messy. Its a plot that lacks any smooth transition from act to act. The finished piece is more like a jigsaw puzzle missing half of its parts.
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The set design of the house is stunning. Every inch of the building and sets are beautiful and meticulously created. The scale of the glasshouse and the pond really must have been amazing on a big screen.
Catherine Zeta Jones’ Theo is bi-sexual. It was possible the first time I’d see that sort of representation and it was certainly the first time I’d seen a character’s sexuality mentioned without it being directly connected to the plot.
Liam Neeson and Owen Wilson are brilliant. In a pre-Taken role, this was possibly the first thing I remember seeing him in outside of Phantom Menace. I know he was in things, it just wasn’t stuff I’d seen or remembered him in. Baby faced Owen Wilson perhaps isn’t someone you would automatically think of for a horror movie, but he holds his own and certainly seems to enjoy being a part of the film.
Final Thoughts
It’s one of those films I don’t really like, but I rewatch in the hope something has changed. It never does.
Rating 15 Length 1h27 Release 18.5.2020 Director Richard Bates Jnr About After losing her job and imploding her latest dysfunctional relationship, Olive (Amanda Crew) flees the city for the weekend, escaping to the countryside for some peace and self-reflection. She rents an ornate country house from an eccentric widower named Harvey (Robert Patrick). Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Own Copy but is available on Now Entertainment Trailer:
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There’s something off about the plot and I can’t quite put my finger on what it is.
The addition of the son feels a little pointless, especially when there’s no real resolution with him in the end.
The dream sequences are at odds with the rest of the film. Normally I would find that fine, if not interesting. Perhaps its down my mood while watching, but it just didn’t work for me with this watch.
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Robert Patrick and Amanda Crew made, or salvaged, this film. Individually they both provide solid performances, but when they have scenes together they are amazing.
The final act is brutal, but well worth the slow burn of the first hour. When the characters eventually end up in their fight for survival, you wonder if there was any way to get to that point any sooner.
The comedy is off kilter and that works for me. It gains that inappropriate ‘should I be laughing at this’ sort of laugh.
The breaking of the fourth wall is used sparingly and good effect, particularly that last line.
Final Thoughts
Not a film I’ll rush to watch again, but it’s a fair horror offering for fans of Robert Patrick.
Rating PG Length 52m Release 8.10.2021 Director Kirk R Thatcher About On Halloween night, Gonzo is challenged to spend one night in The Haunted Mansion. Moon: Full Moon sighted just before Gonzo enters the mansion. Where to Watch: Disney Plus Trailer:
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Kermit’s new voice is not quite right for me. At first, I thought it was that Kermit had a pig nose on his face and they were adding an effect. However, additional scenes proved otherwise. Whoever they picked is a few octaves lower than previous voice actors and not only is it noticeable, it changes the whole character.
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Wil Arnett is perhaps the perfect human companion after Jason Segel. He has the adaptability to play the sort of characters Muppets needs. Arnett looks in his element throughout and it lifts up the performance of everyone involved.
Move over Animal, Pepe is my new favourite Muppet. He’s charming and funny. Not only that, he works well alongside fan favourite, Gonzo.
The songs are used sparingly, which I’m grateful for.
The humour, the charm and the meta-ness of the plot is all on brand and well written throughout.
It’s the perfect length for a family-friendly film. Especially for those days when no one has the attention for anything longer.
Final Thoughts
Muppets doing what Muppets do best, what’s not to love?
Rating 15 Length 1h36 Release 29.6.2012 Director Ron Underwood About A small town gradually becomes aware of a strange creature which picks off people one by one. But what is this creature, and where is it? At the same time, a seismologist is working in the area, she detects _tremors_. The creature lives underground, and can ‘pop up’ without warning. Trapped in their town, the town-folk have no escape. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix and Amazon Prime Trailer:
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Near the start, before you ever really know what’s going on (except you do because that stupid poster spoils it), Rhonda is ‘stalked’ by one of the graboids in typical creature feature fashion. Yep, we get monster eye candy. It’s effective when used well, however in this movie it’s god-damn stupid. Here’s why: those fucking creatures are blind and, even if they had sight, the thing is shown to be underground. Honestly, I can’t say I’ve ever noticed before, but today it really riled me up. For such a clever film, this is just dumb. Hell, it’s almost at odds with the rest of the movie. Once again, studio interference, allowed for this addition.
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This is such a clever, tightly plotted, enjoyable movie. Any who studies film should watch this whenever their university covers cause and effect. It’s so well planned that it’s an absolute joy to watch. Things that seem tiny have a massive impact later in the film. Just one example is that Earl and Val are arguing about what job they need to do that day and how Val needs to think ahead and consider which jobs will pay first, they end up in the store where the fridge is needing to be fixed. While Val goes to fix it, Earl reminds him of the conversation they had and they say they’ll get back to it. At first you might think this interaction is just about establishing the character dynamics, but an hour in that fridge comes back into play and really bites them in the ass; some of them literally.
Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are the perfect double act. I adore Fred Ward in anything and everything he does. To have his older, wiser Everyman working alongside Bacon’s younger, more impulsive, partner is almost chalk and cheese. Almost like your buddy cops after they’ve learned to work together. It works.
Paul Gross and Reba McEntire play their roles perfectly. So much so that it took me years to make the connection of Gross being Ted’s dad in HIMYM, or Reba as THE country singer. Not only do I love the gun obsession, I love the apocalypse preparedness of the couple.
The dialogue is brilliant and quotable; you can see why it has become a cult classic. It doesn’t matter how you see this film: cheesy, silly, legitimate creature feature, it gives it all and entertains along the way.
Final Thoughts
For me, this film is up there with Jaws. I shit you not. The story is tight, the visuals are spot on and the characters have you rooting for them.
Rating PG Length 1h33 Release 8.10.2021 Director Conrad Vernon and Greg Tieman About Hoping to get closer as a family, Gomez, Morticia and the rest of the Addams clan embark on an adventurous road trip in a hideous and humongous camper. Moon: Starts off as a crescent, going into a full moon Where to Watch: Cinemas nationwide Trailer:
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Finn Wolfhard didn’t return. Honestly, I’m gutted because the person they got to replace him was so different.
It had a very Simpsons feel, in the sense that nothing from the first film had any standing in this one. A shame really, as I loved the characters we met in the first film and it would have been quite easy to intergrade them into the story.
What happened to having Kitty as the MGM lion?! (Side bar: I got very upset at the youngling who insisted, repeatedly, that the MGM logo showed a TIGER! Don’t worry readers, I did not heckle)
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There’s some excellent horror movie Easter eggs throughout the film for eagle eyed adults.
The story is pretty decent; for both kids and adults. Elements may be predictable, but it is a cartoon.
The comedy is as standard as the first outing, which gags for kids and ones for adults. Some of the location gags are just brilliant.
While there are arguments that this film is not in keeping with the live action or tv offerings, I must disagree. I have found both offerings well within the spirit of the Addams Family.
Snoop Dogg is perfect as Cousin Itt. I do want to play his lines backwards to see if he does indeed say what the characters say he does. (Thank you Red Dwarf for enabling me to identify backward tracks)
Final Thoughts
Its a decent kids film with a fun plot and a wonderful story arc for Wednesday. While I doubt the box office will see a third outing green-lit, if we do I would love to see Pugsley have a bigger role. Even with, sigh, the new voice actor.
Rating 15 Length 1h30 Release 6.6.2008 Director Nelson McCormick About Donna’s senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, but a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
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The story is lacking, so much. It’s economical in how it tells the story, but I’m left feeling a bit underwhelmed as a result. My biggest issue with this is the film’s killer. Idris Elba’s Winn mentions that the jury felt he was insane and so didn’t opt for the death penalty. With what’s presented, I can see why. There really needed to be a little more to the prologue to show how it escalated to the point that it did; what was their relationship like? I understand throwing us in at the point they did was a creative choice, but I want to be in the position Winn is and know that he’s a bad guy, that he wasn’t just insane. The way its presented, it’s almost as if there’s another film preceding this.
Plot choices. Like, seriously, you’re going to have Winn pull the fire alarm and still have the lifts in action? It’s stupid that I’m annoyed, but everyone knows that is what happens to lifts. Hell, you could have had the killer on the lift with one of the friends and it be at the point that the alarm is pulled, she realises who he is. It could also be that the lift doors had only just closed, so there’s not questioning how he got out. Oh, and the dream fake-out to only go and have her do the exact same thing when she’s awake. The girl has been through a traumatic experience. Don’t know about anyone else, but I’m sure as shit getting that boyfriend to come with me.
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Idris Elba. Damn it, this man could be in the world’s worst film and I would still watch. Beautiful, smart and someone you would absolutely want on your side if a mad man was after you.
Brittany Snow really holds her own as the lead, and final girl. She is one of a few actors that stop this being a complete loss of a film.
Final Thoughts
Great concept, boiled down to a mindless slasher. It’s a one watch wonder that really should be better.
Rating 18 Length 1h32 Release 26.4.2012 Director Rick Rosenthal About Myers, a horrific murderer, spends 15 years in an insane asylum after terrorising the people in his small hometown on the eve of a Halloween. As soon as he gets out, he hunts down his sister. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
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The opening is rather clunky and almost feels like I’ve missed a scene or two. I understand it starts off directly after the first film, but I think that puts this film at a disadvantage because of the first being resolved.
The tone of the film is off. It has the Horror elements, but there’s also lines of dialogue and the way they’re delivered, that will reduce most viewers to fits of giggles. The biggest laugh is when a Michael Myers is hit by a police car. The sequence, I’m sure, is meant to be shocking. It most definitely isn’t.
Michael Myers has a whole new silhouette. They must not have been able to get the original guy back, and it shows. It’s hard to not notice and it really takes you out of the film.
The time of day is really unclear. In some scenes it appears at if it’s at least gone midnight, in others it appears like its not even past 7pm. Add to that, the fact that the hospital Laurie is taken to is unusually empty for a peak evening, the film just feels disjointed.
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The new theme remix is cool.
Some of the deaths are messy and genius, particularly the one in the hot tub.
Final Thoughts
To make this work, it really needed to go the way of Alien/Aliens and not sit in this middle ground of a tonal shift. Because the original is so good, it was never going to match it, so it needed to offer something completely different.
Rating PG Length 1h34 Release 15.10.2020 Director Rachel Talalay About Recruited by a secret society of babysitters, a high schooler battles the Boogeyman and his monsters when they nab the boy she’s watching on Halloween. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
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It is clear from how the film is set up, that this is meant to be the first in a series. There’s always a way in which these films are created that makes them feel more like they’re trying to set up the universe than be in the story they’re telling. If the creative team are not invested and engaged in the current story, how do they hope the viewer will be?
The tired old trope of parents asking their child to babysit at a minutes notice. Halloween is for kids, you let them have their fun. While it always leads to a good story (Hocus Pocus, case in point), I just wish they could come up with something new.
Give me more Tom Felton. He was a joy to watch, and while I’d love to see him play the hero at some point, he’s just so good as the bad guy.
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It has that Percy Jackson watchability. I am not its target audience, but I don’t feel forgotten.
The cast is solid. So much so I am gutted at least a second film hasn’t been commissioned. They will most certainly have aged out by now.
The plot is simplistic, but effective. Adults may see the next plot points coming a mile off, but its a little bit of a comfort too.
Final Thoughts
Its the perfect film for a midweek watch when you don’t want anything too taxing.
Rating X/ 18 Length 1h26 Release 25.9.1959 Director Terence Fisher About Three archaeologists uncover the sarcophagus of Princess Ananka despite being warned of a curse. The situation regresses when one of them awakens Kharis, who was entombed alive to guard the princess. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Purchased for £5 on Amazon Prime Trailer:
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I’m not sure I enjoyed the flashback approach to the storytelling. I know it is a tool of the Hammer Horrors, but it doesn’t work so well here. I felt a little lost and bogged down as I was too invested in the characters I’d met, rather than the ‘why’ of the curse.
The inclusion of Mrs Banning does pale in comparison to the 1999 instalment. It feels more that she’s a token female character thrown in at the last minute, rather than being integral to the plot. A shame, as it would only require one or two changes.
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What is not to love about this classic Hammer Horror. There’s a charm to the static approach of filming, the obvious soundstage setting and even the actor’s approach to dialogue is very different to what we’d expect today.
Peter Cushing is such a striking lead. He most certainly must have inspired Tom Hiddleston at some point. Certainly, if there’s ever a biopic about the Hammer Horror movies; Hiddleston is a shoe-in for playing Cushing.
Christopher Lee is unmistakeable, even when he’s covered in bandages. His presence is daunting while bandaged, but it is rather enchanting when we get to the flashbacks.
Even though I mentioned that the cameras are rather static throughout, there is a change to that when the father is about to be attacked. The bedroom is shown on an angle and it gives you a great sense of the panic the man is feeling.
The set designs are really quite beautiful and the music compliments the whole film and the changing moods.
Final Thoughts
Not my favourite Hammer Horror, but certainly worth a watch for Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee alone.
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