Rating PG Length 1h34 Release 15.10.2020 Director Rachel Talalay About Recruited by a secret society of babysitters, a high schooler battles the Boogeyman and his monsters when they nab the boy she’s watching on Halloween. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
It is clear from how the film is set up, that this is meant to be the first in a series. There’s always a way in which these films are created that makes them feel more like they’re trying to set up the universe than be in the story they’re telling. If the creative team are not invested and engaged in the current story, how do they hope the viewer will be?
The tired old trope of parents asking their child to babysit at a minutes notice. Halloween is for kids, you let them have their fun. While it always leads to a good story (Hocus Pocus, case in point), I just wish they could come up with something new.
Give me more Tom Felton. He was a joy to watch, and while I’d love to see him play the hero at some point, he’s just so good as the bad guy.
It has that Percy Jackson watchability. I am not its target audience, but I don’t feel forgotten.
The cast is solid. So much so I am gutted at least a second film hasn’t been commissioned. They will most certainly have aged out by now.
The plot is simplistic, but effective. Adults may see the next plot points coming a mile off, but its a little bit of a comfort too.
Its the perfect film for a midweek watch when you don’t want anything too taxing.
Rating 15 Length 1h35 Release 30.1.2020 Director William Eubank About Norah and her team find themselves in a dangerous situation as they work at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and clash against an unidentified species. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Sky Movies Trailer:
The cinematography, set design and editing is phenomenal. There’s plenty of clever edits that allow for a progression of plot.
John Gallager Jr should be in everything. I love him and his character in this is no exception. Why is he not in more things?
Music. Oh I absolutely loved the soundtrack, score and general sound of this film. It all adds to the claustrophobic atmosphere.
The Suits! While I have questions about their practicality, I just love the look and the bulk of them.
There are themes within the film that are not fully developed and it really does mean that the story suffers as a result. The two big things being the Alice in Wonderland elements that creep in, but never really develop into the allegory they could. The second is the Cthulhu Mythos. While some sources claim the whole story is based upon the Lovcraft writings, others claim that the creatures featured only took their form in post production.
There’s too many nods to Alien. To the point that it stops being a homage or Easter Egg and instead a straight out ripoff.
T J Millar. Obviously, he’s a dick. We all know he’s scum of the greatest proportions. However, the character is also a dick so he’s kind of perfect for the role.
Kristen Stewart’s portrayal is inconsistent, with the majority of her performance at best reflecting a bought of constipation, at worst a block of soggy wood. I did notice that scenes in which her character reacts with multiple characters are much better than when the camera is solely focused on her. The less said about the Twilight flashback narration, the better.
Its a pale imitation of Alien and Aliens with nothing new to add.
Rating: 12A Length: 2h 31 Release: 16.12.2020 Dir: Patty Jenkins About: Wonder Woman navigates the 1980s, meets old friends and faces off against new enemies.
The film gets the 80s aesthetics right. The mall sequence was rather brilliant and not only something that is iconic of the 1980s, but iconic of 80s movies. This part of the film, out of everything, felt most like a homage to the original tv series.
Kristen Wiig really impressed me. While meek and goofy Barbra was well within Wiig’s wheelhouse, and reminiscent of her past roles in things like Paul and Ghostbusters, it was the evolution into Cheetah that shows much more depth and range. While she may be known more for her comedy, I definitely want to see her in more serious roles.
Well, Hans Zimmer most definitely phoned this one in. His soundtrack feels so recycled that if I were to close my eyes at points in this movie, I’d have sworn I’d put on Inception.
While we’re on music, you place a film in the 1980s and don’t utilise the amazing catalogue the decade has to offer? Believe me, in a film that gives us Jafar after his final wish and Quantum Leap’s Sam, we need some cheesy 80s electric tunes.
The prologue in which we see young Diana back at home and facing off against other Amazonian warriors, is utterly pointless and has no payoff. It, for me, is at odds with the rest of the story. Plus its totally wrong. Diana didn’t cheat. It was a bullshit lesson that had microscopic links to the main plot.
You know the Sentence Game? It’s similar to Mad Libs, but there’s no crib sheet. First person writes a sentence based upon a prompt, folds the paper over so you can’t see what’s written and passes it on. This keeps happening until all the prompts are used and then someone reads the mess of a story out. That was this film. Only, I didn’t find it nearly as funny.
Steve! What the fuck man. Okay, great we get Chris Pine gracing our screens again. Whoop! At what cost? The sacrifice and loss from the first movie is compromised and, I’ll be honest, how he’s there in the first place feels really cheap. I was also very disappointed “Oh boy” wasn’t uttered. It also pisses me off that the guy whose body gets taken over gets more closure than Wiig’s Barbra. Seriously, what the fuck is it about the 1980s doing Barb dirty. People, What about Barb?
Second gripe about Steve. Once Steve is in play, it feels like such a retread of the first film. His reintroduction creates a limitation. It’s boring, its done. It also means that if he ‘dies’ again, I’m not caring. To be fair, this is where Marvel gets it wrong too. When you make your character deaths meaningless (looking at you Loki), I refuse to invest. Also, what the fuck is it with these Wonder Woman films getting the strong female wrong? In the first movie she emasculates. This one she becomes physically dependent on Steve. Blurk!
Why was it set in the 1980s if it was going to be sanitised of all the joy the 80s had to offer. Other than Pine’s fish out of water Schtick, it had no value. To me anyway. Yes, I get that there’s the whole plot in which Pascal’s Max is trying to gain ownership of oil, but this is not a commodity that’s exclusive to that decade. For me, the Suez Crisis of the 1950s is what I immediately think of when it comes to ‘historical oil’.
There are enough people out there loving this movie for you to make up your own mind, but for me it’s too long, too pointless and left me feeling grumpy. I wish I’d rewatched Chopping Mall(1986) instead.
Rating: PG Length: 1hr 35 Release: 12.6.2020 Director: Kenneth Branagh About: Artemis Fowl is a 12-year-old genius and descendant of a long line of criminal masterminds. He soon finds himself in an epic battle against a race of powerful underground fairies who may be behind his father’s disappearance.
This is my Harry Potter. The one literary franchise that I’ve been waiting two decades to see transferred to film. I watched it as soon as it was physically possible. How could I not?!
The visual world building is stunning. Especially when we oh-so-briefing see the fairy world.
There’s a wonderful scene between Holly and Artemis that hints at the deep rooted friendship that they develop over the series in the books.
There are some brilliant one liners and I cheered loudly at the often used ‘D’arvit’ in the book.
Most of the problems come from the presentation of the characters. When the original source gives you well developed characters and complex relationships, there’s no excuse for the lacklustre and undeveloped characters presented.
The dynamic of Artemis and Butler is wrong. Too wrong as it makes Artemis weak and too wrought with emotion for him to be the closed of genius I’ve spend so much time with.
While I love Judy Dench as Root, it removes one of the most empowering storylines for me, and many young women. Holly’s biggest story arc centres around her being the first female LEPrecon officer and how her success or failure would determine future recruitment. Instead we’re given a over zealous youngster. Her spark, spunk and frustration of being the poster girl is all gone and it makes me so sad.
I don’t understand Josh Gad’s “I am Batman” narration. It’s a really odd framing for the whole story, especially when it’s pay off doesn’t really work. Actually, forget the Batman impersonation, I just wish they’d scrapped the narration completely. Speaking of Josh Gad, they really did have a wonderful set up for Mulch to ask Root if her first name was Samantha. They squandered it.
When Holly Short is described in the books as having hazelnut coloured skin, I’m massively pissed that in 2020 we are still subjected to whitewashed protagonists. Yes, I’m sure we can argue that this film is diverse in its casting, but Holly Short is one of the leads. That shits not cricket.
They killed Artemis’ mother! What the fuck man?! You just erased the potential for the franchise to …. wait, this film isn’t getting a sequel let alone a franchise. However, I’m gutted that the twins don’t and won’t exist in the world.
As a book adaptation, its an abomination. Eoin Colfer literally couldn’t have written a better film-ready story, but it was stripped of everything. Its almost as if those involved didn’t read the source material. Fans will most definitely feel short changed.