hscptcrash

Make A Story Tag

I was messing around with fantasy name generators trying to come up with a name for a new Guild Wars 2 character and I stumbled upon a book title generator. And then? I forgot all about creating a new character and instead decided to create my own stories. From that, the Make A Story tag was born.

I have naturally gone a bit OTT with mine and also created a book cover, but that is definitely not necessary. If you want to be a bit extra too then the Canva is great and has ready-made templates.

MAKE A STORY TAG

INSTRUCTIONS

Link back to the creator Cora at Tea Party Princess
Open up Book Title Generator
Select your preferred genre and “Get Names”
Pick our your favourite title from the list of 10
Write a brief synopsis/blurb for your imaginary story
Tag someone else

THE TITLES

I went for mystery mainly because my favourite films always have that suspense/thriller vibe that keeps you guessing. When I write I tend to lean towards that genre too, but with a Sci-fi edge.

Medic Of The Void
Changeling Of A Cat
Strangers Of The Future
Dogs Of The Sun
Boys And Descendants
Pilots And Enemies
Faith In My Garden
Help Of The Nether
Crushed By My Dreams
Age Of The Light

Chosen Title: Strangers of the Future

Now

Rachel was dead. She had been for 10 years. Only there she was, on a security camera selling drugs to his students. The same drug that was believed to be the cause of three recent deaths.

Cooper confronts the ghost from his past, he joins her mission to stop Cyrus Industries from distributing their computer implants and the drug required to make them work. She’s not the same Rachel he’d known and she won’t say why she let everyone think she’d died but he can’t ignore the feeling that it might be his own fault.

Then

Rachel has plans. She wants to be a surgeon and she’ll stop at nothing to make her dream come true. But sometimes you have to make a choice. Only time will tell if Rachel made the right one.

Love Han x

OtherEarth by Jason Segel and Kirsten Miller

Publisher Rock the Boat

Pages 304

Release 12.11.2019

About

Return to the series BuzzFeed compared to Ready Player One with the third book in the fast-paced trilogy from New York Times bestselling authors Jason Segel and Kirsten Miller that’s perfect for fans of HBO’s Westworld.

Simon, Kat, Busara, and Elvis are on the run with the tech super-villains at the Company hot on their heels. The new VR gaming experience the Company created, OtherEarth, will change how the world experiences gaming. Paired with the hardware the Company developed, it has the potential to alter our reality forever.

The Company is on its way to becoming the world’s newest superpower. And Simon is determined to shut them down forever. But to do that, he’ll have to survive OtherLife–the next phase of gaming, and a complete reality reboot.

The trilogy is complete. I’ve devoured the gripping final and I’ve spent the weekend deep in thought about a series that has been close to my heart since YALC 2017 when I lost my, well everything, upon hearing the premise of Otherworld. I geeked and I geeked hard.

OtherEarth hits the ground running much like any thriller from the silver screen. There’s little time for a catch up which I, for one, am very grateful for. I’m of the binge watch generation but I’ve got a good memory: get me to the new.

As a reader, we know this has to wrap up in some shape by the final page, but what’s great about this universe crafted by Segel and Miller is that they’re not going to make this all about an ending. It’s a story and a journey in its own right and everyone gets time to shine. Even people who shouldn’t really be there.

If Otherworld is Ready Player One, Otherlife is Bond, OtherEarth is Mission Impossible through and through. You won’t know who to trust, who will make it out alive or when you’ll next get to catch your breath. The writing is faultless, the characters are hard to say goodbye to and you’ll be hitting reset and reaching back for OtherWorld the second you finish.

What I love most of all about the ending of this trilogy is that there’s no definitive ending; you know these characters and this world go on to other missions outside of the narrative. It gives readers, like myself, a chance to use our imaginations and allow them to live on.

Thank you Jason and Kristen for this wonderful and amazing ride. I can’t wait to see what your partnership brings to the reading world next.

Love Han x

Alien: Director’s Cut (1979)

Rating 18

Length 1hr 51

Release 6.9.1979

About In deep space, the crew of the commercial starship Nostromo is awakened from their cryo-sleep capsules halfway through their journey home to investigate a distress call from an alien vessel. The terror begins when the crew encounters a nest of eggs inside the alien ship. An organism from inside an egg leaps out and attaches itself to one of the crew, causing him to fall into a coma.

Treat

It’s visually a stunning film. There’s no question about the detail and effort that has gone on the set and alien tech.
There are plenty of individual scenes that are incredible. One being the famous ‘chest buster’ scene that has been mimicked so many times that I’m sure I knew about it way before I saw this film.
The xenomorph itself is really good. Couldn’t tell you if it’s the physical thing itself that makes it good, because the film makes clever use of close ups and lighting to hide a lot from the audience. It works, it really does.
The music and, to a certain extent, the set design seems like a homage to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Perhaps it lends itself as a type of foreboding when it comes to Ash, but either way it makes for an interesting and almost clinical atmosphere prior to the shit hitting the fan.

Trick

It’s first half feels rather boring and longwinded. As a group on a mission in deep space, there’s a big disconnect between the members. While that makes Ripley’s quarantine decision clear cut, it makes Lambert’s reaction a little odd. Unless of course she was fucking Kane, but she just seemed to be a sappy bitch.
In contrast to 1982’s The Thing which has no women at all and no objectification we have here two women, a wall full of naked ladies and gratuitous undersized-knicker’s pussy shot of Weaver. Which, I might add, wouldn’t seem so gratuitous had Ripley not been presented as an almost cold genderless character throughout the film. Also, what the fuck did you use the George Lucas line on Weaver when it came to her bra?
Did we really need to see Bilbo Baggins with a face full of Hobbit gang bang juice?! Seriously, who had the idea of spraying his face with the white stuff?!
What the fuck is with the damn cat and why did it pop up out of nowhere? Do you have a rat problem? At which point the dildo boxes you’re using to find the xenomorph will be a little useless, right? Other than it being used in a scare fake out, I don’t see the point in it. And I love cats.

Final Thoughts

Amazing cast (except Lambert. Lambert can go fuck herself), but on the whole a little too bland. Give me Aliens any day.

Highfire by Eoin Colfer

Publisher Quercus Books

Pages 384

Release 28.1.2020

Type Hardcover

About From the internationally bestselling author of the Artemis Fowl series: Eoin Colfer’s first adult fantasy novel is a hilarious, high-octane adventure about a vodka-drinking, Flashdance-loving dragon who’s been hiding out from the world – and potential torch-carrying mobs – in a Louisiana bayou . . . until his peaceful world’s turned upside down by a well-intentioned but wild Cajun tearaway and the crooked (and heavily armed) law officer who wants him dead.

Squib Moreau may be swamp-wild, but his intentions are (generally) good: he really wants to be a supportive son to his hard-working momma Elodie. But sometimes life gets in the way – like when Fake Daddy walked out on them leaving a ton of debt, or when crooked Constable Regence Hooke got to thinking pretty Elodie Moreau was just the gal for him . . .

An apprenticeship with the local moonshine runner, servicing the bayou, looks like the only way to pay off the family debts and maybe get Squib and his momma a place in town, far from Constable Hooke’s unwanted courtship and Fake Daddy’s reputation.

Unfortunately for Squib, Hooke has his own eye on that very same stretch of bayou – and neither of them have taken into account the fire-breathing dragon hiding out in the Louisiana swamp . . .

For Squib Moreau, Regence Hooke and Vern, aka Lord Highfire of Highfire Eyrie, life is never going to be the same again.

Highfire is a genre-bending tour-de-force of comedy and action by the million-copy-selling master storyteller.

What a glorious read from the amazing mind of Eoin Colfer. Vern is the last living dragon and reads like a character created for David Harbour to play. He’s gruff and closed off, and that’s the way he likes it. That is, of course, until Squib comes hurtling into his life, bringing with him chaos and danger.

It’s a well written, funny book that doesn’t hold back in the slightest. You can clearly see from how this book is crafted, why Colfer wrote another instalment in Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s series. It’s a book for adults, there’s no two ways about that. However, there’s many fans out there who grew up alongside Artemis and are ripe for this more adult content.

It’s a story about good and evil, and all those bits in between. I love that it’s not clear cut and there’s no one person who is clear cut good. Squib has his dodgy dealings, Vern is a grump who’d rather eat you and even Squib’s mother is able to accept certain elements of the dark side.

While the main story for me is the developing friendship between Vern and Squib there’s also the sub plot of corrupt man of the law, Hooke and his relationship with a gang outside of the town. Of course, in perfect Colfer tradition, these plot threads weave together perfectly.

It’s a wonderful stand alone story with a fulfilling, yet open ending. However, I would love to see a sequel. Actually, I’d love to see many sequels.

Love Han x

The Thing (1982)

Rating X/18

Length 1 hr 44

Release 26.8.1982

About In remote Antarctica, a group of American research scientists are disturbed at their base camp by a helicopter shooting at a sled dog. When they take in the dog, it brutally attacks both human beings and canines in the camp and they discover that the beast can assume the shape of its victims. A resourceful helicopter pilot (Kurt Russell) and the camp doctor (Richard Dysart) lead the camp crew in a desperate, gory battle against the vicious creature before it picks them all off, one by one.

Treat

This is a near perfect film for me. There’s a perfect and smooth introduction to the cast. It’s not clear at the beginning who is the protagonist, and even when you consider Kurt Russell’s Mac your main man, the film throws I doubt your way. Even if movie logic tells you that he can’t be the Thing, your breath still catches.
Speaking of Kurt Russell, he is perfectly cast and I love the initial progression of his character from the reluctance to fly to Norway’s camp to insisting they have to go a second time. Also, he has such pretty, pretty hair. While many blokes might not appreciate it, but as a woman with little else in the film designed to engage me (Other than a fucking awesome plot), I’m going to pick up on his god damn pretty hair.
There’s no women in this film. I’m not saying the absence of women is the treat, but the way in which its handled is. Not only are there no women cast, there’s not naked posters objectifying women. In fact, there’s no mention of women at all. The only thing that’s presented is when Palmer turns off a game show to play porn and even that is done in a tasteful way; we hear it, but at no point to we get a shot of it.
The music is terrifying. I’ve never found a score more effective than the rhythmic beat from this theme. It’s almost that its simplicity is what makes it so terrifying.
The effects of this film are still as gory and horrific As I’d imagine they were back in the day. Yes, some of the transformations make the human features look ‘fake’, but I feel that actually adds to the horror of it all, especially when it comes to THAT scene. There’s no CGI that could make that crawling head freak me out more.
The tension in this film is constantly evolving, but it never lets up and the key to that is how the film uses ambiguity and suspicion to tear the group apart.

Trick

The opening shot is very similar to the once scene in Predator. By that I mean the childlike corner drawing of the Earth and the spaceship entering the atmosphere. Something that I feel is a little pointless other than letting you know height from the get go its aliens. Plus, Earth in the corner?! No wonder we all grew up popping the sun on the corner of our page when we painted as kids.

I would have liked a mention of life beyond the camp. There’s no mention of having people ‘back home’ and I think that might have added emotional weight and give at least one of them something to fight for.

Final Thoughts

A film that is well made, well cast and scary as hell. Not so much the creature itself, but how easily man turns on itself and the fear of the ultimate unknown.

Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Rating X

Length 2Hr 7

Release 9.3.1980

About As hordes of zombies swarm over the U.S., the terrified populace tries everything in their power to escape the attack of the undead, but neither cities nor the countryside prove safe. In Pennsylvania, radio-station employee Stephen (David Emge) and his girlfriend, Francine (Gaylen Ross), escape in the station helicopter, accompanied by two renegade SWAT members, Roger and Pete. The group retreats to the haven of an enclosed shopping center to make what could be humanity’s last stand.

Treat

As an audience, you’re thrown in the deep end. Chaos has already taken hold and you have to run to keep up.
There was a zombie POV shot in the Peter/Roger opening scene that was really well done and I was very surprised to see that this film has more balls than Walking Dead by having, and killing, children zombies.
There’s plenty of shots that have clearly inspired others, namely the Mall based sections of S3 of Stranger Things.
Rogar’s fate was played out in a rather unexpected way that I found interesting. If he hadn’t been just a toolbag, I might have actually cared.

Trick

Despite its relatively high powered opening, I ultimately found the film boring and lifeless. Pun aside, I felt no sympathy or attachment to any of the four main characters.
Is it wrong that I was waiting for the baby to claw it’s way, all zombie-like, from the woman’s womb?
While the four characters provide a certain dynamic that works to a certain extent, I fell as if more human characters are needed for the length of time the film runs for. Perhaps it’s the quality of the acting, or the expectation of a human body count but for me it really stalled the plot.
Some of the zombie scenes are rather too comical. From having the humans punch them in the face to falling all over the place, it’s hard to take seriously.

Final Thoughts

Of my creatures featured in movies, zombies are my least favourite. It comes as no surprise that I’m indifferent to this movie. Yes, it’s well(ish) made for an independent effort from the 70s, but it’s not the amazing fanfare to cinema I’ve been made to believe.

Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween (2018)

Rating: PG

Length: 1Hr 30

Release: 19.10.2018

About: While collecting junk one day, best friends Sonny and Sam meet Slappy, a mischievous talking dummy from an unpublished “Goosebumps” book by R.L. Stine. Hoping to start his own family, Slappy kidnaps Sonny’s mother and brings all of his ghoulish friends back to life — just in time for Halloween. As the sleepy town becomes overrun with monsters, witches and other mysterious creatures, Sonny joins forces with his sister, Sam and a kindly neighbor to save Sonny’s mom and foil Slappy’s plan.

Treat

I like the idea of having Slappy as the horror focus. The way it starts I was expecting it to go down the road of a more conventional Goosebumps story.
It’s a simple plot that doesn’t require any thought without leaving you with that ache that you’ve wasted your time.
The cast is pretty decent and work well together. While there isn’t much of a callback to the original cast, aside for Jack Black, the cast we’re given makes sure we don’t miss them.

Trick

It pretty much retraces the steps of the first movie and one of the main problems is it goes way too big and chaotic. Just having one monster on the rampage should be enough, not the entire Goosebumps catalogue.

Final Thoughts

It’s a fair attempt a sequel but not something I’ll rush to watch again.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)

Rating: 15

Length: 2Hr 8

Release: 23.10.2019

About: Sarah Connor and a hybrid cyborg human must protect a young girl from a newly modified liquid Terminator from the future.

The Good

Sarah Connor. Having Linda Hamilton back was a god send. Yeah, she’s ‘old’ and she sounds a bit like Dot Cotton after a lifetime of fags but she makes this franchise enjoyable, relatable and scary. There was the novelty of having Arnie ‘go good’ in T2, but certainly for me it’s about Connor’s disenfranchisement from the world in which she lives.
The dialogue makes nods to first film, but it doesn’t replicate it like some of the sequels have done. The same goes for the plot; you might feel uneasy at first, after all it does start to feel like a reboot. Stick with it because, on the most part I like where it goes.
The relationships between the three women; Sarah, Grace and Dani makes for an interesting watch. Add to the mix the dude who has been the face of the franchise for the last 35 years, you have a dangerous mix of emotions and sass.
The new Terminator was pretty bad ass and blended some of the best aspects of the assassination cyborgs from the previous films.

The Bad

Too many flashbacks. I have flash back fatigue especially in relation to traumatic events. Filmmakers, watch your own movies. If the flashback is telling the audience something they already know, especially if a character just said it, ditch the scene. If it doesn’t add anything, it bogs the film down.

The Ugly

The film’s action started way too big, so it never really had anywhere else to go. The best parts of the film was the small moments and the interactions between the characters so it’s a shame that the film decided to go in a similar direction to all the films Cameron wants the audience to disregard.
Grace has a plot flaw that I found rather irritating and rather baffling. They explain it away, but it still doesn’t make tactical sense and I think some better planing was required to improve the design of the time travelling support.

Final Thoughts

The Kitchen (2019)

Rating 15

Length 1Hr 42

Release 20.9.2019

About Between 8th Ave. and the Hudson River, the Irish mafia runs 20 blocks of a tough New York City neighborhood known as Hell’s Kitchen. But for mob wives Kathy, Ruby and Claire, things are about to take a dramatic and radical turn. When the FBI sends their husbands to prison, the three women take business into their own hands by running the rackets and taking out the competition.

The Good

Melissa McCarthy proves to audiences that she’s like some of the best comedians out there: able to bring a dramatic turn to the screen. McCarthy is perfectly cast as a legacy daughter to the mob in Hell’s Kitchen. She’s incredible to watch and you can identify with what she’s trying to achieve.
McCarthy is not the only one giving a surprising performance. Tiffany Haddish was a chameleon in the Kitchen. Yes, she keeps some of her mouth, but it doesn’t bog the film down like I’ve seen it do in others.
The soundtrack is, well I’d say it was one of the best if they hadn’t stolen half of Star Lord’s Awesome Mix Vol 1. The songs keep the film’s darkness at bay.

The Bad

I’m not sure there’s a redeeming character among the main players. Yes, they start their operation to get by, but they all become consumed by it.
Domhnall Gleeson is meant to be wack-a-doodle. I’m happy to see him in the film, but aside from not flinching when he does the dirty work, there’s nothing about his character that suggests him being an outcast.

The Ugly

The film’s final act feels very left field. Good storytelling should be layered and allow for you to at least, on a second viewing, see it coming. It wasn’t the case with this film’s attempt at smart cinema.

Final thoughts

It’s gangster lite and a little more mainstream, but in the end it’s plot and dialogue will keep it from being remembered as a mould-breaking ‘classic’

Predator (1987)

Rating: 18

Length: 1Hr 47

Release: 1.1.1988

About: Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger), a soldier of fortune, is hired by the U.S. government to secretly rescue a group of politicians trapped in Guatemala. But when Dutch and his team, which includes weapons expert Blain (Jesse Ventura) and CIA agent George (Carl Weathers), land in Central America, something is gravely wrong. After finding a string of dead bodies, the crew discovers they are being hunted by a brutal creature with superhuman strength and the ability to disappear into its surroundings.

Treat

The Predator is visually out of this world. Sorry for the bad pun, but it’s on a level with the xenomorph in terms of something that could prompt a nightmare. It’s hidden well which adds to the fear factor.
You have a group of commandos who are hench and seen action. And they’re scared enough to say they’re scared. Yup, that’s enough to have my heart racing.
Outside of the opening shot in space, you could have walked into this movie thinking it was a war film. In fact, I think that would have been scarier because you’d truly be one of the mission team. It does add to the fear because you sense what’s coming.
I think the scariest part of the film is that Arnie doesn’t defeat him. Not really. Predator kills himself and that is one of the scariest parts of war.

Trick

The biggest issue I have with the film is it’s final act. I’m watching a group of commandos, the best of the best, all bite the dust because of this creature from outer space. Yet, Arnie, the one who doesn’t get a single shot off at it prior to the one hour mark is able to defeat it single handily?! That makes the Predator an absolute pussy and Arnie too ‘invincible’.
Adding to the above point, I don’t buy Billy’s demise and for me, he’s the character who had shown the best skill and tactics to pull off what Arnie did. Bring him into the final showdown and help Arnie do his Kevin McCallister shit to the jungle and then have him killed. It gives a little more of a sense that this Predator is a fucking killing machine and stops you losing 5 of the team within about 45 seconds of each other.
Oh, and Predator once the helmets been removed?! Did he just have a manicure that he was waiting to dry?! What was with the pussy assed slaps. He could have removed Arnie’s innards with on blink and everyone knows it. That was the perfect opportunity to kill Billy (or your chosen commando).
I find the score by Adam Silvestri too distracting. It’s overly similar to his Back to the Future score and, for me, it didn’t fit the film.
I genuinely don’t know how I feel about the introduction of the female Guerrilla operative just before the halfway mark. While her actions set in motion a lot of the plot for the second half and there’s the argument that her being female is what stops them killing her, I’m not sure that it’s still not lip service casting or if I’m seeing snowflakes.

Final Thoughts

Not the masterpiece I remember it being, but then again I’d misremembered it as being set in Vietnam, so perhaps I shouldn’t hold the film to account.

A bloody, gory, war movie with an extra terrestrial playmate.

Ghostbusters (1984)

Rating PG

Length 1Hr 45

Release 7.12.1984

About After the members of a team of scientists (Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd, Bill Murray) lose their cushy positions at a university in New York City, they decide to become “ghostbusters” to wage a high-tech battle with the supernatural for money. They stumble upon a gateway to another dimension, a doorway that will release evil upon the city. The Ghostbusters must now save New York from complete destruction.

First Thoughts

I wanted to be a Ghostbuster. I loved this movie as a kid and I have a very distinct memory of putting it on one Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip in which I bought foam shrimp. I also remember begging for Ghostbusters crisps and them not being in the bags when we got home and being very upset.

Harold Ramis’ Egon was my guy. He kept a level voice and didn’t shout like the other two.

Treat

Bill Murray is the star of this film. Yes, it’s an ensemble but he steals every scene he’s in. Everything about the character screams you should hate him, but he’s rather charming and adds an odd sense of dry and sardonic normalcy to the childlike eccentricity of Ray and Egon. He’s set up as a bit of a Shatner (Womaniser), but having him deny Zuul/Dana shows his true persona.
It’s a celebration of the geek, without having to put anyone else down. It’s not at the expense of others and it’s science doesn’t alienate the audience. I feel almost as if this is what TV’s Big Bang Theory wanted to be, but couldn’t get past the cheap jokes that put people down.
The effects are relatively good for a retrospective viewing. Certainly everything from the opening sequence works, including the ghost itself. It’s tone is still still that of unsettling fear and that’s largely to do with the physical effects and the supporting music.
Sigourney Weaver’s Dana Barrett is fucking awesome: she’s a thirty-something living alone in New York, without a complex. She’s a brilliant career, a nice apartment and no time for Venkman’s bullshit. Weaver seems to have fun breaking away from her genderless Alien persona to give us a more feminine and light hearted character.
It’s an interesting narrative that is built up in layers and doesn’t give us too many showcase scenes. By the final act you realise it’s all interconnected and brings you to a showdown with Gozer; a casual name drop from the first act.

Trick

I fucking hate Louis. There’s annoying and then there’s this cretin who stole his wardrobe from Jimmy Saville. I normally love any role played by Rick Moranis, but this takes his whine up to 11 and I just wish he’d died when the Terror Dogs go all American Werewolf in his ass.
Behind the scenes I find it a bit shitty that Winston’s screen time was reduced because Eddie Murphy reportedly turned down the part. Ernie Hudson’s Winston provides a balance, much in the same way Venkman does and I’d have been thankful for that appearing sooner. The added bonus being that he would be given time to develop the character.
The only effects that present a problem are the Terror Dogs. It’s not so much that they look bad, it’s that there’s a very clear distinction between the animatronic and the animated versions. Some have suggested this is to do with a change in the lighting on later releases that brings our attention to it and I’d say that’s a fair assumption. That said, I’ll put up with those minor blips for the eerie capture of Dana in her apartment.

Final Thoughts

I still want to be a Ghostbuster and Egon is still my guy; perhaps it’s the quasi-autistic persona he displays alongside his brilliant mind and I’m so glad there’s going to be a new movie next year.

Star Trek (2009) written for Odeon in 2009

It’s Trek Jim, but thankfully not as we know it. JJ Abrams has taken over the directing helm and brought a long dead franchise back to life; all it needed was a push to the re-start button.

From the first stardate to the echoes of the final frontier there’s subtle nods to keep the hard-core Trekkies happy, enough action and comedy to keep Abrams’ fans at bay and explanations for those who’ve not explored the strange new worlds.

Star Trek’s reboot follows the prickly beginnings of Kirk and Spock’s relationship and their familiar crew on their maiden voyage upon the USS Enterprise having been thrown together fresh from Starfleet Academy to stop villainous time-travelling Romulans hell-bent on revenge.

Chris Pine moves from the Disney teen leagues and plays the rebellious charmer James Kirk down to a T; the Just My Luck star keeps the tone of Kirk while still making the role his own.

Up for filling Spock’s half Vulcan ears is Heroes’ Zachary Quinto. Not only does he wear them well, he brings to the screen a personal battle of identity as the conflicted alien of two world; enabling him to clash delightfully with the ever impulsive Kirk.

Among the remaining crew are Karl Urban, John Cho and newcomer and one to watch Anton Yalchin playing McCoy, Sulu and Checkov respectively each having their own moment to shine. It is however Simon Pegg as Scotty who provides the films gem moments between the lulls of battleship action. The sequence that transpires as a result of a transporter mishap is certainly not one to miss.

The battles and villains have had an upgrade, the clever script acknowledges the Trek universe without leaving the unconverted drowning in a sea of techno-babble and the refreshing comedy will leave all stunned.