Category: Ramblings

Halloween Advent 2022. Bring it On: Cheer or Die (2022)

Rating PG
Length 1h 31
Release 27/09/2022 on dvd and digital 08/10/2022 Syfy broadcast in US
Director Karen Lam
About A cheer squad’s plan to have a secret practice at a nearby abandoned school on Halloween takes a terrifying turn when their teammates begin disappearing one by one.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: N/A
Trailer:

Trick

  • The production value of the franchises seventh outing is rather shocking. While the best is done with what they had, it only makes me wonder what they could have done with a budget closer to the original.
  • It’s a sanitised slasher horror. Due to its PG rating, this horror is devoid of anything that will scare even the yellowest of bellies. Yes, there’s some heavily implied gnarly endings to the characters. However, it doesn’t have the same Hitchcockian impact that the iconic ‘shower scene’ had.
  • The final act is so pointless. It’s almost as if it was only put in to use the franchise name.

Treat

  • It is an easy, super silly, watch. Perfect for anyone who wants Slasher lite. Young ones and squeamish alike will be at ease watching this plot unfold.
  • It’s comical. Both in its deaths and in its dialogue. The actors involved have brilliant timing and saved this film from being a total trash fire.
  • The cheerleading skill really works with the slasher tropes. It worked really well and helped a number of them evade capture.

Final Thoughts

It ticks all the boxes for concept and story. The problem lies with its rating. Treating this outing to a 15 rating really would have brought this slasher to life.

Halloween Advent: My Best Friend’s Exorcism (2022)

Rating 15
Length 1h37
Release 30.09.2007
Director Damon Thomas
About In 1988 best friends Abby and Gretchen navigate boys, pop culture and a paranormal force clinging to Gretchen. With help from a mall exorcist, Abby is determined to compel the demon back to the pits of hell — if it doesn’t kill Gretchen first.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

Trick

  • It is a slow burn plot. It absolutely pays off, but you have to stick with the set up and some viewers out there today do not have the attention. Especially when you add the fact that this film is not getting a cinema release.
  • Anyone with 80’s nostalgia fatigue would do well to steer clear of this one. Yes, there’s an somewhat timeless tone that would forgive you if you assumed it was modern day with the 80s fashion back in style. However those who are tired of the era being used in every film and tv show since Stranger Things, will perhaps want to pop this to one side.
  • The nighttime scenes are made for a cinema. I lost a lost of the action during those scenes. Combine this with the slow burn, and you might just zone out before it gets good.

Treat

  • This film is Jennifer’s Body meets Fight Night, in all the right ways.
  • The 80s era, the bright colour and pop songs. It all contrasts with the darkness and sinister chill that everyone watching it there to see beautifully.
  • The friendship ups and downs really resinated with me, as I’m sure it will with others. The film tackles some fairly weighty issues that are really quite cleverly approved and resolved.
  • Christopher Lowell is always a joy on a project, but in this case he steals the show. Almost to the point that I wish he was much more involved.
  • The two leads, Elsie Fisher and Amish Miller are one’s to watch. While a slow burn is not my favourite type of film, the two girls and their friendship has me invested from the very start.

Final Thoughts

It’s a decent watch. Perhaps not quite as good as Freaky, but it will certainly give you enough goosebumps to see you through the spooky season.

Little Evil (2017) Film Review

Stats

Trailer

The Good

  • ⁃Adam Scott impressed me in this. The first thing I saw him in was Hot Tub Time Machine 2 and from that point, I avoided everything with him in. Since seeing Parks and Rec though, everything has changed. There’s something about him in this that allows him to play the character as someone out of his depth without being weak. Brilliant.
  • The satire that isn’t spoof. There is comedic elements, it does delve heavily into the plot points of The Omen and other horror movies, but in a much more ‘love letter’ approach than many other lampooning films.
  • That unexpected, left field, ending was rather impressive.

The Bad

  • Not all the humour landed for me. I think it’s the SNL improv approach that I just cannot get a handle on. However, SNL has been running longer than I’ve been alive, so I’m sure there is an audience for it.

The Ugly

  • I don’t like the story telling device of being introduced to a movie at the midpoint, to then see what happened to get there. With the exception of The Hangover, I find it is a form of storytelling that only works well with tv shows and characters an audience are familiar with.

Final Thoughts

It was a decent offering and one I might watch again.

A Castle for Christmas (2021)

Rating PG
Length 1h38
Release 26.11.2021
Director Mary Lambert
About To escape a scandal, a bestselling author journeys to Scotland, where she falls in love with a castle — and faces off with the grumpy duke who owns it.
Moon: none
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

  • Cary Elwes has provided us with another decade of heartthrob thirst-bait. Yes, we’ve perhaps seen him take on more villainous roles in the new millennium, but this is right up there with Princess Bride, Lady Jane and Robin Hood.
    His accent is good, the grump persona makes the enemies to lovers entertaining.
  • I cannot complain about the cast on the whole. Brooke Shields is the ideal leading lady who charms the village and the villagers themselves are so wonderful, I’d happily have another film just focusing on them.
  • The plot is light and requires no effort to watch. Just wait till it gets dark, wrap yourself in a blanket and brew yourself a hot toddy and you’ve got the perfect evening ahead.

The Bad

  • The inevitable fight was so forced and half hearted. I get that the couple, and the audience, need a catalyst to split them up. You know, if we’re going for formulaic like this film ultimately did. However, the outburst was so utterly irrational and it did spoil that charm the film had going for it.

The Ugly

  • With such a short run time,this film spends way too long on the set up. There are better ways to have her situation told on screen without it taking up so many scenes. Personally, I’d have it where she’s in the airport, all the magazines have the author on the cover, a nearby tv screens her interview.
  • There really isn’t much of the enemies to lovers section. I really wanted more. Perhaps dedicating the time from the opening to this section would work wonderfully.

Final Thoughts

A plot by numbers Christmas romance that’s made much easier to watch with Cary Elwes in the lead.

Gremlins 2: A New Batch (1990) Film Review

Rating 12a
Length 1h46
Release 27.07.1990
Director Joe Dante
About A group of malicious Gremlins take over a high-tech corporate skyscraper belonging to a media baron. They wreak havoc throughout the building while the Mogwai try hard to regain control.
Moon: None sighted
Where to Watch: Now
Trailer:

The Good

  • Everything about the tone of this movie I love. From the distribution animation and the argument between Daffy and Bugs, to the mid-film cut out because the Gremlins were wanting to watch Snow White. I have always love the meta, self referential, films. Probably because this was the first one.
    On that note, there are so many nods to criticism to the previous film and I love the passive aggressive tone.
  • This film almost does what Alien and Aliens did and made this almost a completely different genre to the darker, horror led original.
  • I didn’t remember Christopher Lee being the lead scientist, but adult me was very excited. This is similar to Alan Rickman appearing in Dogma; it’s nice to see someone have fun and a little unexpected.
  • The new Gremlins that appear in this film are creative, funny and gives this film an easy way to not fall into the same plot of the previous film. Plus, we get a Gremlin who is intelligent and can talk, one that is able to go outside and a Miss Piggy- type rival female Gremlin.

The Bad

  • Kate isn’t my favourite character and while I love Mr Futterman, I’m not sure I buy him, and his wife, being in New York the way they are. I personally would have preferred to have had Corey Feldman’s Pete, but I guess 1990 wasn’t the greatest time for him and he may not have been available.

The Ugly

  • For such a short film, it takes a good long while to get going and the way in which everyone ends up in the same place feels a little convoluted.
  • It’s unrealistic. No, hear me out. Daniel Clamp is based upon Donald Trump. You know for a god damn fact that if it was Trump; New York would have been overrun within 24 hours.

Final Thoughts

Unpopular opinion, but I prefer this one to the original movie. It really is so much fun and entertaining.

The Plank (1967) Film Review

Rating U
Length 57mins
Release 23.07.1967
Director Eric Sykes
About After someone uses the last floorboard for heating, two hapless carpenters have to buy a replacement. They return to the house with the plank on top of a Morris Eight, but the journey is fraught with unexpected and humorous difficulties.
Moon: None sighted
Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer
Trailer:

The Good

  • It’s very British, very charming and something for anyone who loves Carry On films.
  • I’ve always loved Tommy Cooper and he has such an iconic, larger that life, laugh. You can not help but laugh along with him and the problems he finds himself in.
  • Some of the physical comedy is so stupid, but you will still find it funny. Particularly one of the initial scenes that has them opening the windows even thought there’s no glass.
  • The story and the characters do perhaps seem to be what the Chuckle Brothers were inspired by. In fact, I’m certain they’ve done a homage to this.
  • Even for me, it was a. Whose who of British acting talent and it was a joy to see so many familiar faces.

The Bad

  • It was a little too short. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye when the credits came up.

The Ugly

  • A lot of dialogue seems to be dubbed, which for most people might not be a problem. However, as I often rely on lip reading it gave me a headache.

Final Thoughts

Just a charming piece of British comedy.

Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017) Film Review

Rating 12a
Length 2h13
Release 5.7.2017
Director Jon Watts
About Peter Parker tries to stop the Vulture from selling weapons made with advanced Chitauri technology while trying to balance his life as an ordinary high school student.
Moon: None sighted
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

  • I love that this film didn’t go all the way back to the beginning and give us an origin story for Holland’s Parker. It allows this film to give us something different from previous incarnations.
    It also allows this Parker to not be entrenched in the grief of Uncle Ben’s death or set on a path of revenge. We get to have a much younger Parker, who is able to truly have fun.
  • Michael Keaton is such a genius bit of casting, characterisation and plotting. Choosing a past Batman has very little impact on the plot, but there’s all the meta goodness that adds to the cinematic experience.
    It’s not lost on me that Vulture is the anti-batman. Where Bruce was a millionaire, Toomes is a working-class everyman embittered by the Marvel’s equivalent of Bruce Wayne.
    I also love the I’d that the name, Vulture, is not only a bird of prey, but is also a scavenger. It describes the aesthetic of Toomes technology, but it is very descriptive of the character too.
  • Ned is a spectacular friend and I’m so happy that he’s not Harry. I adore every scene in which Ned is just himself.
  • Tom Holland really is ideal for the role of Peter Parker. He’s first of all young looking enough to know that he’d at least be carded, but the choice to have Stark as a mentor allows the story freedom for Parker to fail. He’s not the first and final line of defence and it changes the tone of the film and the character expectation of Peter Parker.

The Bad

  • It is a tad too long for it to be a regular rewatch movie for me. By no means a unique issue for MCU movies, but I find myself restless just at the moment when I need to be paying attention.
    The only problem with this, however, is that I have no idea what I *would* remove to trim the fat.

The Ugly

  • I’m so mad that this film did the dirty on Donald Glover! That man was born for a live action Miles Morales so while having him in this was amazing, I’m devastated that it perhaps rules him out from the upcoming multiverse film ‘No Way Home’.

Final Thoughts

Truly my favourite of the the Spider-Man films and I’m so happy that, as of a few hours ago, Tom Holland has been announced for three more films.

The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (2014)

Rating12a
Length 2h22
Release 16.4.2014
Director Marc Webb
About Spider-Man embarks on a mission to protect his loved ones when OsCorp, owned by his childhood friend Harry Osborn, unleashes a slew of genetically-modified villains against him.
Moon: Full moon when Harry grabs Gwen
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

  • The way this film starts and ends is brilliant. Having us come in, part way through the action is refreshing and pulls you in right away. Then that mid-punch cut to credits allows you to take the story home with you; your imagination takes over and allows Spider-Man to linger with you a little longer.
  • I love the score and music choices; from Peter Parker having the Spider-Man ringtone, to the use of Electro’s words in the music that accompanies his attendance at Times Square.
  • I love the references. Particularly the Jaws reference while Parker troubleshoots his webbing devices.

The Bad

  • Again with the outcast and diversely abled as the villain. I refuse to call any neurodivergent person disabled. However, for the purposes of this film, it does appear to use Max’s neurodivergent characterisation for the age-old cliche.
  • It’s in the blood. I’m actually a little on the fence about this one. On the one hand, it allows the universe to explain the impact of others using the research. On the other, it is Chosen One plotting and to me it feels done. Even in 2014, never mind rewatching here in 2021.
  • The slow-motion! Way too much for me. Not so much in and of itself, but more because I’ve been conditioned to hate it by someone I used to go the cinema a lot with. It triggers all the complaints in my head. Only some of which are valid.

The Ugly

  • The certainly felt like there was more dependence on CGI for this outing, and some of it really shows. Rather than look like it was from a cartoon, it looks like it comes from game play at times.
  • Gwen and Peter/ Spider-Man is only here because I loath the fact that they make them SUCH a great team, for *that* to happen to her. That dynamic was incredible.

Final Thoughts

A decent offering and I will be honest, I am quite sad there wasn’t a third outing.

Red Notice (2021)

Rating 12a
Length 1h58
Release 12.11.2021
Director Rawson Marshall Thurber (fun fact: He’s the Quiznos guy from Easy A)
About In the world of international crime, an Interpol agent attempts to hunt down and capture the world’s most wanted art thief.
Moon: Full moon sighted as Reynold’s character goes home.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

  • It’s a pretty solid story. Not that I cared, at all. Why? Oh, I was here for the Johnson/ Reynolds dialogue. They understood the mission. Their interactions were *chef’s kiss* perfect.
    I don’t quite know what it is about these two together, but they’re dynamite. The only pairing I’d want more is Reynolds and Jackman and with both, I could have had them sitting, in a room, just reading the lines. Yes, it would be fair to say it really is down to Reynolds’ delivery of a lot of the lines, but if you’ve seen the latest in the Hitman’s Bodyguard series, you’d know that it’s more than that.
  • That said, there are some amazing action sequences, location shoots and excuses to dress up. It’s The Mummy meets Bond, by way of Danny Ocean. Its perfect for a Saturday night watch when you don’t want to think too hard.

The Bad

  • Cal Gadot almost gets there. There’s crazy in the performance, but the actress pulls it back and I really wish she didn’t. Gadot could have given us something shy of Harley Quinn and I know I’m splitting hairs, but in a film as good as this, I do have to critique something.

The Ugly

  • Green light the sequel already, you cowards!

Final Thoughts

Had everything I really needed in a movie like this, so there’s really nothing to complain about. Only thing is, this review is a little redundant as it would appear that most people have already watched Red Notice this weekend.

The Change-Up (2011)

Rating 15
Length 1h52
Release 16.09.2011
Director David Dobkin
About Best friends Dave, a married lawyer, and Mitch, a playboy, envy each other’s lives. Hilarity ensues when their bodies get swapped, and they realise their lives are not as great as they had imagined.
Moon: not sighted
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

  • Ryan Reynolds and Jason Bateman are pretty decent in this body-switch. Reynolds does seem to be able to handle both characters a little better, but Bateman equally works well when he’s acting in scenes with Reynolds. You could also argue that his character is trying to represent Dave.
  • The supporting cast, particularly Alan Arkin, Leslie Mann and Olivia Wilde is great.

The Bad

  • The whole thing with getting Mitch, who is really Dave, to go on a date with Sabrina… but for her to end up with Mitch post switch-back. Like, the film makes it go really well. They almost seal the deal. What I’d really want is for Dave to realise they’re not compatible. Right? It’s not like Dave was pretending to be Mitch, he was totally being himself so I don’t get it.
  • The nudity, to me at least, is the one thing that’s keeping this film from being a 12a and, lets face it, a body-swap is 12a or lower territory, the family lesson learned… it all lends itself to a lower rating, and a better film. Am I a woman of a certain age a bit pissed of all these perky breasts on my screen?! Well, mine have never been perky, so perhaps?! That said, it is still gratuitous and it doesn’t add to the film. (I mean, come on… we can ALL do with one less slow-mo walk to Sweet Cherry Pie in our lives, right?!)

The Ugly

  • The CGI babies. They’re not quite at the level of Twilight’s abomination, however, that CGI chocolate starfish is a hard pass! Then there’s the mid-film knife skills that just make my brain hurt. I’m sure this is more to do with this being a repeat viewing, but it really sucks!
  • The poo jokes. There’s babies involved, I get there is a well there to be used. I have my issues with the projectile shit, but the biggest culprit for me is the “I need to lay off the Thai food” open doored shit Jamie takes.
    I’m calling bullshit on this! What a gratuitous, unfunny scene. Unless Jamie and Dave have some massive kink, she would be closing the fucking door on that shit, pun very much intended.
    Now, had it been the other way around, I’d have had no problem believing that Mitch, in Dave’s body, would have done this being used to living alone. That would have made for a so-so believable scene, and given Jamie cause to question what the blokes had said earlier. However, to suggest that this woman would habitually undress, leave the door open so her husband can have a direct view of the bog, and proceed to have a wet and squelchy shit. The smell of which will plague the bedroom for god knows how long?! Nope, not buying it.
    I know, I know, it’s not that deep! You’re right. Toilet humour is low, its superficial and I fucking hate it.

Final Thoughts

This is one of those films I actually forget I hate. Its Hangover, but a pale imitation. Thank fuck the Hangover buzz was left behind in the early 2010’s.

Luck of the Irish (2001)

Rating PG
Length 1h36
Release 26.12.2001
Director Paul Hoen
About Kyle has always relied on his gold coin that brought him a lot of luck. When his gold coin is stolen by a thief, things go from bad to worst as they turn into their true form, Leprechauns.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

  • It’s a lighthearted Disney ‘made for tv’ movie that, at the heart, attempts to teach that luck isn’t that important and skill, talent (and everything important to a kid) are gained from inside.
  • As always, Tim Omudson is a welcome face to a cast. Bloody hell, he is brilliant as the power hungry leprechaun. His comedy is akin to British comedian Chris Barrie in that he’s very good at using ‘uptight’ for comic relief. I can’t even be mad that his accent appears a little patchy because it’s Lassie and he goes up against a teenager in a high school game of basketball and he Irish Jigs like his life depends on it.
  • Equally, Henry Gibson (Innerspace, Switching Channels and The ‘Burbs among others) is utterly joyful as the spurned grandfather who is initially believed to be the cause of the missing gold. His accent may not be perfect, but he really does make for an excellent matriarch.
  • While I don’t particularly like how the ‘hidden’ heritage is played out, I do love that before it’s revealed Kyle and his friend come up with ideas as to what might be the reason for the skittishness of his family.
  • The CGI, for a tv movie, is not too bad. I’ve seen worse on films with bigger budgets.

The Bad

  • The accents are as bad as you would expect for a film that has no native Irish actors. It’s that run of the mill, American does Irish. So it’s not Cameron Diaz in Gangs of New York bad, but quite a few of them are that close. Its all rather cringe inducing.
  • At no point, writers, should the words ‘I touched the rim.’ be shouted by anyone in a film made for kids. Fuck, its so lucky I wasn’t in a cinema or a lot of parent’s would be stuck with trying to answer “Why was that funny mummy?” because I cackled for about a minute and a half.

The Ugly

  • For a film with a run time of less than 90 minutes, it spends way too much time introducing the characters and setting up the premise, meaning there’s a risk many viewers will have checked out before anything interesting happens.
  • I don’t like the message of ‘American Pride’ that comes across especially the almost shame like reaction Kyle’s mother has about her heritage. I know there’s a little bit of a breakthrough towards the end of the film, and that part of the immigration process for Irish people was this ‘land of opportunity’, but the message just became a little muddled and felt more “Yay to be American” and “Boooo immigrants”.

Final Thoughts

It falls into that ‘so bad, its good’ territory and could make a fair drinking game should you have the need.

Inside Out (2015) Film Review

Rating U
Length 1h42
Release 24.7.2015
Director Pete Docter
About Eleven-year-old Riley moves to San Francisco, leaving behind her life in Minnesota. She and her five core emotions, Fear, Anger, Joy, Disgust and Sadness, struggle to cope with her new life.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

  • The story; the metaphor for emotions and memory is not only well presented, but it is really important for anyone exploring the growth mindset.
  • The use of colour to reflect Riley’s emotions is brilliant, particularly when Riley is on the bus and her thoughts change.
  • The voice casting is genius; Bill Hader, Mindy Kaling and Amy Poehler are perfect in their roles.
  • There’s the nice added touch of seeing into other people’s heads and how their Joy et al manifest.

The Bad

  • The clown and the imaginary friend. Nope, nope, nope! Hate them, can’t be doing with them. Just, no!
  • I hate Sadness. I know you’re meant to and the moral is that we all do need that bit of sadness in our lives, but seriously, I want to yeet her out the movie before it even begins.

The Ugly

  • How has there not been a sequel. There’s so much potential there that I would rather have seen a number 2 of this than the 4th Toy Story.

Final Thoughts

Another addition to the Pixar Studio. I must admit though, I absolutely hated this movie the first time I watched it.