Movie reviews – Page 19 – The Queens of Geekdom

Candyman (2021) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h31
Release 27.8.2021
Director Nina DaCosta
About In present day, a decade after the last of the Cabrini towers were torn down, Anthony and his partner move into a loft in the now gentrified Cabrini. A chance encounter with an old-timer exposes Anthony to the true story behind Candyman. Anxious to use these macabre details in his studio as fresh grist for paintings, he unknowingly opens a door to a complex past that unravels his own sanity and unleashes a terrifying wave of violence.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Playing in Cinemas now
Trailer:

The Good

The cinematography is absolutely stunning. Not only in of itself, but in the parallels from the original. Its artistic, its complimentary and its beautiful.
The shadow puppets used to tell the myth and legend of Candyman are perfect use of storytelling.
The story convincingly weaves in the narrative from the 1992 film, while ensuring those who come to this film without seeing the precursor won’t feel excluded. While a sequel, it does work as a stand-alone
The cast is diverse. Not only do we have a gay couple, we have an interracial gay couple. There is comments in reviews stating that it is only white people that are killed in this film. Well, I urge them to take a second watch.

The Bad

There’s a b-plot storyline surrounding the protagonist’s girlfriend; played beautifully by Teyonna Paris. The plot thread fits in really well and certainly gives the audience and opportunity to understand and sympathise with Brianna. However, its dropped as quickly as it was brought up. It’s almost as if a scene or two were cut and they would have made it more than this filler story.
I do find it odd that the one thing that didn’t carry over from the original, was the protagonist being arrested, or even questioned by the police. With all the clever parallels, it’s a shame this one was missed.

The Ugly

The reviews outside trying to say this is a racist movie. From “its too political” to “Only white people die”. God, you can just feel the white privilege oozing off the reviews. This movie is telling the same story that was told in 1992. Only bloody difference is that the protagonist was white and provided an almost smokescreen to viewers.
This *is* a political movie. It is a black movie, it always was. The story’s origins come from Liverpool and the class divide there. As soon as the story’s movie moved from the UK to USA, Chicago in particular, the race divide was much more acute. Gentrification in the USA was about race. However, it is still about class divide. Both then, and now. To boil it down and go ‘urg, too political’ does a disservice to everyone involved. Be honest, just say ‘it made me uncomfortable’ because that’s what you really mean.
The other aspect of ‘too political’, could perhaps be the final act in which the police shoot someone without due cause, much in the same way Candyman was imprisoned. Yes, it might hit home a little different in the wake of George Floyd. However, to think this ending was put in *because* of George Floyd shows you’re part of the problem. The protests, the outrage, the lingering memory of his name is not because he was an isolated incident but because it was so frequent.
The easiest way to put this argument to bed? This film was due for a June 2020 release. George Floyd was killed 25th May 2020. This film was wrapped and in the can way before then, so that ending was already filmed.

Final Thoughts

A little cleaner, much more clear cut than its direct predecessor. The final act, in the wake of George Floyd , may make some feel uncomfortable. Hell, some people will go so far as to say it’s ‘too political’. Well, isn’t that because you feel guilty? For me, that means this film has most definitely done its job.

Double Jeopardy (1999) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h45
Release 28.1.2000
Director Bruce Bereford
About A woman arrested for her husband’s murder is sentenced to six years imprisonment. After her release, she sets out to find her son and the truth about the murder as she suspects foul play.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

I’ve seen the trailer for this film about a million times, so to say that this film surprised me was a bit of an understatement. I’ve always thought that Tommy Lee Jones was the husband and the ferry car crash was how he ‘died’. There’s just something quite nice about being thrown off from the get go.
I really like Ashley Judd in this. Judd makes for a really sympathetic and strong leading lady.
Bruce Greenwood. He improves literally anything he’s in and I really do like that I’ve now seen him play a nasty role. He wears it well.

The Bad

The evolution of time isn’t very well structured. I know we get the cake, but I think I’d have liked a little more. Even something simple as removing the highlights from her hair.
I don’t get why there’s the insistence that her boy, Matty, doesn’t go to her parents when it’s the first person she goes to when she flees custody.
There’s a few other plot holes that I can’t think of right now, but because it’s not as fast paced as similar thrillers, they’re a little more obvious.

The Ugly

How laws work. The whole premise hangs on a law that the film interprets wrongly. Like, its a glaring flaw. There’s also this idea that her child is kidnapped. Yes, she’s given custody over, but is it not a little suspect?
This suffers with a similar fate at What Lies Beneath in the respect that the trailer and blurb reveal the ‘faked death’, while the film plays it as a reveal. It makes that opening scene heavy and hard work. In a film that’s not got much time to play with, it really didn’t need to spend that long building up to the ‘crime’. I guess there’s an attempt here to not be The Fugitive. However, the result is that the film loses some of its suspense. Netflix doesn’t help matters by having the reveal scene as it’s preview.

Final Thoughts

An enjoyable, if not heavily flawed, entry into the crime thriller that was popular in the 90s. It’s something I’d love to see a return of. Perhaps without the need to ignore the blatant plot holes.

Poseidon (2006)

Rating 12
Length 1h39
Release 1.6.2006
Director Wolfgang Petersen
About On New Year’s Eve, a giant wave crashes into Poseidon, a luxurious cruise liner, and flips it upside down. As the ship begins to sink, the passengers struggle to find a way to survive.
Moon: multiple times during the first 15 minutes.
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

The cast they got on board (ugh, that was such an unintended pun) is incredible. From the big names to the up and comings, its a ‘what are they from?’ smorgasbord.
The increasing budgets and improvements in GCI and set design all add to this film. It’s a spectacle and there’s a sense of intense jeopardy from a lot of the set pieces.

The Bad

For a 90ish minute film, it doesn’t half drag, and lag and really have to work for my attention. Even the 15 minutes spent with the ship the right way up was just too long.
There are plot threads that never seem to have any pay off. The most glaring being the stowaway one. I may have missed it, because I did blank out in the middle there, but I’m not sure that Dreyfuss’ Richard ever realised Elena was bunked up with the guy he gave the shaft. (Okay, that one; I meant) It felt like it was a high stakes set up, that didn’t peak. However, I must say that Richard could have quite easily been the dick, but he was actually quite charming.

The Ugly

IMDB trivia. Oh God, who the fuck cares that Kurt Russell plays a fightfighter in Backdraft AND in this. Jesus! If the information is already there, don’t fill out another comment card.
This film spends too much preamble trying to make us care, that it has a negative impact. Fucking wipe them out, all of them. A film should never have you itching for the boat to tip.
That is not Holt, that’s just some Common bitch. Why on earth do we keep cutting back to the ball room? Again, I think it’s about making us care, giving us that bit of hope that they’ll survive. Hate to break it to you, but its all superficial and you never have hope, even if it was Andre Braugher leading the remainers.
There are too many names in the group that head up to the bottom of the boat. It means there’s no fear whenever they come to each puzzle of disaster movie proportions. Equally, though the death that is meant to have the gut-punch shock of the original doesn’t work because the character has been fighting against another lead throughout the movie.

Final Thoughts

Stick to the original

First Thoughts

Prior to 30.8.2021, I had only seen this instalment once before. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if me not liking this was more to do with my memories of the day than the film itself, but I can tell you that it is definately more about the film than the fact my mother wouldn’t let me have a bit of the T-bone steak she’d gotten in for ‘her boys’.

The Good

Natalie Portman does an alright job and it was nice to see Jimmy Smits again. Yup, that’s about all I can say. Even that final battle, I briefly thought ‘here we go’ when I saw the lava. However, it never brought it. I feel like I could dub it with the sword fighting scene from Princess Bride.

The Bad

That opening. Dark, busy and so much like game play. I’d only watched episode 2 the week before, I should not feel like I’ve missed a film (or two) in between these two stories. I just wasn’t hooked in at all. Taking so long to see a familiar face really didn’t help matters.
Christopher Lee is wasted. He was introduced way too late and killed way too soon. It seemed so off that I did some research to see if Lee had refused to commit fully, in a similar fashion to Terence Stamp, but I’ve not seen anything to suggest that. The only thing I can think to explain this, is that stupid rule of two that was mentioned in Phantom Menace and wanting to promote Grievous. Which also doesn’t make sense, because he was in play in the previous film.
I think one of the biggest problems is how this doesn’t work as a stand alone trilogy. It ends on too much of a down note- our two surviving Jedi go into hiding, our good guys are dead, our bad guys have won. Our two orphans are split up.

The Ugly

There’s nothing more maddening than the evolution of Ani to Vader. Fuck me, we have this privileged white emo punk bitch (who started life a slave, I might add, so saying he comes across ‘privileged’ is really something) who is given THE best black guy voice in the form of James Earl Jones. Yet that punk bitch still shines through with that ‘nooooooooooo’. In part, its the curse of being ‘the chosen one’, but I really feel for anyone who grows up without meeting Vader with the isolation of the original trilogy.
George Lucas did not give me a fucking Wookie battle. The presence of the Wookies was, at best, fan lip service. However, my biggest gripe is that it proves that Lucas just needs to shut the fuck up sometimes. Not only did he reveal that Wookies were the original idea for Return, until he decided smaller, cuter, furies would make him more money, he went on to PROMISE us a Wookie battle. So 2005 Hannah had an idea formed in her head of the Endor battle, but with fucking Wookies. I didn’t get it and my love of George Lucas died that day. Even going in without the expectation of Wookie Endor battle, I wasn’t impressed with the inclusion or the promise made my Lucas.
The script. Jesus, there are so many dud lines. Was everyone so far up Lucas’ arse that they couldn’t go “Really? Do you not want someone to edit this?” There’s a bit, I cannot for the life of me remember where it comes in the film, but Obi Wan and Ani are in a lift that stops and the following dialogue made the cut:
“Did you press the stop button?”
“No, I didn’t press the stop button. Did you press the stop button?”
NEITHER OF YOU ARE NEAR THE WALLS. You have the FORCE! DID YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK THAT!
That’s one of the biggest problems. These people are meant to be wise! Yet the script makes them sound like dumb children. Could I do better? Maybe not, but I’d at least pass it around to a few people to EDIT first.
HOW, just HOW, did no one crack on to Palpatine being the Sith they were looking for. It felt like panto because we all knew. He wasn’t even really hiding. Also, McDiarmid, you’re a theatrically trained actor for god’s sake… could you be any more ham!

Final Thoughts

I now remember why I’ve not seen this instalment in 16 years. It’s a case of George, the ideas man, really got in his own way and didn’t pass on the directing duties. When it comes to the CGI, this is the worst of the three and more of a ‘they were so preoccupied as to whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.’

Superman (1978) Review

Rating PG
Length 3h8
Release 26.4.2012
Director Richard Donner
About Scientist Jor-El rockets his infant son, Kal-El, to safety on Earth. Kal is raised as Clark Kent and develops unusual abilities and powers to become Superman who fights for truth and justice.
Moon: Full moon as Superman shows Lois ‘a whole new world’
Where to Watch: Own copy
Trailer:

The Good

Christopher Reeves makes for an amazing Clark Kent and Superman. Its not often someone can get the duel roles rights. It’s more than the glasses too. It’s posture, tone of voice and even facial expressions. You can understand with Reeves why no one would ever suspect Kent as Superman.

The Bad

It is a long and clunky film. It’s an hour before we get to meet Christopher Reeves as adult Clark Kent and even with that, I got the feeling there was more to be told about the teenage life of the man from Krypton. The film on a whole, feels bloated with characters and half stories.
Having seen this and the sequel from early childhood and these half-stories made it very easy to get muddled up as to which plot was coming up. Largely to do with the presence of the three Kryptonians that are banished to the Phantom Zone, who don’t reappear until the next movie. I also think I missed Lex Luther’s entrance because of the clunky narrative and my waining attention.

The Ugly

Marlon Brando. What on earth was all the fuss about this well known name? Am I missing something about his performances? I’ve seen Apocalypse Now and a few other films and I don’t see ‘greatness’.
For Superman, Brando comes across as not being there. There’s no emotion in his performance. Given that he was one of the names that was selling the film, it really is a shame.
Did we really need Superman to use his powers to check the colour of Lois Lane’s knickers?! For that matter, is Lois Lane really that dumb a reporter to inform the whole world about Superman’s inability to see through lead?!

Final Thoughts

Nowhere near as enjoyable as I remembered it and too flawed for its status as a classic. However, it has a good framework for TV storytelling.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Rating PG
Length 2h16
Release 15.7.1999
Director George Lucas
About Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi set out to stop the Trade Federation from invading Naboo. While travelling, they come across a gifted boy, Anakin, and learn that the Sith have returned.
Moon: Full moon during the funeral scene
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

On the most part, the cast Lucas put together for this was incredible. From the pitch perfect Ewan McGregor to the recall of people from the original trilogy. This is the best of the prequels and its largely to do with the adult cast and how they are able to work with the woeful dialogue.
John Williams is on form with this score. From the reworking of Vader’s march into Anikin’s theme to Maul’s suite that orchestrates that final battle between the Jedi and Sith.
Liam Neeson. Ah, how I avoid his films now. Yet, this is the film that sparked my love for the Irish actor. There’s a gravitas he brings to the film that’s akin to what Alec Guinness presented in A New Hope.
Short and sweet, but I love the presence of Samuel L Jackson. I can imagine it was something he loved to get and the little we saw allowed the viewers to wish for more.

The Bad

Jake Llyod really had a tough job with the script he was dealt. I’m pretty certain there wasn’t a kid out there that could have handled it better. That said, he’s fucking annoying from the get go. The less said about the “are you an Angel?” bullshit towards the handmaiden who will go on to father his children the better.
The CGI was hard to watch this time. And probably the last time I watched it too. Even considering when it was made, I feel it was a poor job. A lot of the ships, creatures and backgrounds look more like they’d be at home in an animated film. It’s a shame, because the original trilogy was created with practical effects and they work so much better.

The Ugly

Jar. Jar. Binks. Jesus, I hate saying this, knowing how much the hate for the character has impacted upon the health of Ahmed Best. However, Binks, to look at is cute. He’s this trilogy’s Ewoks. Until he opened his mouth. Again, I doubt this is on Best. This will be the workings of the man-child that is Lucas. Binks ruins the film with his inflections and random commentary.
“Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” What utter bullshit is this?! It’s pissed me off more this time because it proves that Kathleen Kennedy was talking out of her arse when she claims that Sidious was in play even in The Force Awakens.

Final Thoughts

Its flawed. At the time, I thought these were the worst thing that happened to Star Wars. I wish I was right about that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Rating 12
Length 2h16
Release 26.3.2014
Director Anthony and Joe Russo
About As Steve Rogers adapts to the complexities of a contemporary world, he joins Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson in his mission to uncover the secret behind a deadly, mysterious assassin.
Moon: Full Moon at the start of the mission on the ship.
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

This is one of the films that feels a lot different to everything that’s gone before. This is a Marvel Movie with a genre aesthetic. There’s more espionage in this film than 2021’s Black Widow: a film about Nat’s espionage background. Go figure.
The action in this instalment is incredible. Case in point, is the elevator scene. Such an iconic sequence now, but even at the time it was a highlight of the film.
All the costumes have had a upgrade, even if it was only temporary. Not only are our hero’s suits fitting for the film’s tone, the civilian clothing choices are spot on for the time and some items are still desirable. I personally still want Black Widow’s trainers.
The introduction of Sam is joyous. I love how Cap and Sam interact and how much chemistry they have. It’s only through that chemistry that anything that follows is believable.
Talking about relationships, at the heart of this instalment is Steve’s long standing relationship with Bucky Barnes. You can feel the heartbreak of Steve when he has to go toe to toe with the revealed Winter Soldier.

The Bad

Hill is wasted in this film. She so could , and should, have been used more. It felt too much like lip service, when really she deserves to be much more involved.
Some of the action is hard to watch. The camera pans in the opposite direction of the action. While this, as memory serves, works well on a cinematic screen, it here it gives me motion sickness.
In 2021, I really did find the attack on Fury by the police very hard to watch. Not the fault of the film, but in the context of the current climate; it will have an impact on viewers.

The Ugly

Black Widow’s hair. I know this is probably a stupid gripe, but if you intend to have your main gal have poker straight hair throughout the film, don’t have her wash her hair. I am so irrationally angry that she is seen drying her wavy soggy locks with a towel, only to be seen in the next scene with a salon-worthy blowout.
This lives rent-free in my head. I think it always will.
The ongoing “casual conversation” with Nat trying to set up Cap. Nope, just nope. Don’t need it. Don’t need the set up of Cap and Sharon (which, btw, is ten times worse now the audience have the knowledge of Endgame). In a film that is probably my favourite of the franchise; this one thing sticks out as forced.
To quote Fury himself; “this shit is why I have trust issues.” Yet another fake death. Yes, I am impressed that it was revealed to be a fake in this film. However, it’s just once too often and it means that as a viewer I start to lose that feeling of jeopardy. I certainly don’t feel anyone’s loss.

Final Thoughts

Of the nine films of the MCU, this is my favourite. It is a good choice for a one off viewing from the phases and it’s not too long.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h54
Release 19.11.1982
Director Collin Higgins
About Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) runs the Chicken Ranch, a brothel with a long history in a small Texas town. The locals have a good relationship with the institution, and Mona is respected in the community. The sheriff, Ed Earl Dodd (Burt Reynolds), also looks out for the Chicken Ranch due to his past with Miss Mona. However, when pious reporter Melvin Thorpe (Dom DeLuise) exposes the brothel, outside interests want it shut down, putting the governor (Charles Durning) in a tough spot.
Moon: full moon in the opening sequence
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

Dolly Parton is her amazing self in the role of Mona. I love her chemistry with Burt Reynolds is something I’d love to see in any movie other than this one. When she sings ‘I Will Always Love You’?! It doesn’t matter how checked out of this movie I already was, I cried. Fuck the Bodyguard, this is the best use of that song.
The music is catchy and you can’t help but tap along to it. I can imagine this is a better production on the stage than screen.
There’s no sex or breasts to be seen. It really is rather tame considering its subject. So, it’s not family friendly, but it certainly isn’t gratuitous either. There’s something to be said about that.

The Bad

The antagonist is vile, and creepy and almost panto-esque. Sometimes, you really need a villian that isn’t too obvious from the outset. One that you can understand where they’re coming from. I’m afraid there was no ambiguity here and it feels forced.

The Ugly

We wonder how the Me Too movement took so long to be recognised. I certainly do. Then I watch films like this and how they present certain behaviours and I seethe.
So, this town has a Chicken Ranch (Whorehouse), that has been socially accepted for hundreds of years in this town. Fathers have taken sons for generations. A bit ick at the thought of family members being able to compare notes, but each to their own.
However, a school football coach taking his team to the Chicken Ranch as a reward for winning their games/season?! Especially when they know the Ranch is getting bad press? Well, that does not sit right with me at all. Can you imagine if that happened today?

Final Thoughts

Not something I’m going to rush to watch again. It’s classy enough, considering its subject however, I’m not a fan of musicals and this still has the feel of a 70s film which, when it comes to musicals, are very much the worst for me.
If you want a musical that has a similar theme, but a better plot and songs; watch either Rock of Ages or Burlesque.

Three O’Clock High (1987) Film Review

Rating PG
Length 1h41
Release 9.10.1987 (USA. No UK release)
Director Phil Joanou
About Preppy high school reporter Jerry Mitchell (Casey Siemaszko) is asked to write a story on a tough new kid named Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson), a boy rumored to have a violent past. Jerry tries to call off the story, but in the process he infuriates Buddy, who challenges him to a parking lot brawl immediately after school that same day. As Jerry desperately attempts to escape the impending fight, he instead ends up finding the courage to stand up to Buddy.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Rental from Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

There’s this wonderful western feel about the film. Almost a reworking of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance or The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. I’d never thought how well suited the High School environment was for the typical Western story.
This is such a surprising film. Once you know the director was inspired by Scorsese, you can really see the influence. It works and I’m really glad it didn’t go for the same tone as all the other ‘coming of age’ films.
The film being contained to the one day is such a good move. Its only a shame that the film doesn’t set a date so that it could have yearly rematch protentional, much like the brilliant Empire Records and charming Groundhog Day.

The Bad

Plot point: Buddy’s whole motivation for wanting to fight Jerry is that “I don’t like people knowing me.” Well, I can see where you’re going wrong. You don’t want people knowing you? STOP FIGHTING PEOPLE!
I find it so frustrating that he’s the reason why people are so curious about him. It starts before we even see him because of his behaviour in the previous school. Gah, it’s nonsensical and drives me mad. What’s worse is that it is the type of non logical that students do actually use.

The Ugly

Two plot points:
ONE: The English teacher who is kissed by Jerry not only doesn’t give him a detention, but she full on kisses him in front of everyone?! Okay, so its a trope, but this trope must die.
TWO: Buddy destroys the library, breaks a kid’s nose, punches out the principle and a security guard before he engages in the fight with Jerry. Yet he turns up the next day, no problem. How was that kid not arrested?!

Final Thoughts

I really enjoyed it, despite its faults. I could have done with more Mitch Pileggi, but I’m equally happy with the little I got.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h52
Release 30.10.2013
Director Alan Taylor
About Thor sets out on a journey to defeat Malekith, the leader of the Dark Elves when he returns to Asgard to retrieve a dangerous weapon and fulfill his desire of destroying the Nine Realms.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney+
Trailer:

First Thoughts

I wish I’d been reviewing films around this time because of late, I was of the opinion that I absolutely hated this instalment, even when watching it that first time. However, upon watching it this time, I’m not so sure it was the case.

The Good

It is still a clunky start, however you don’t feel it so much because you know the characters.
This film keeps London looking grim. I love that. It would have been too easy to give the rest of the world this sunshine and glamour tint to the UK’s capital, however the clouds, the rain… that’s much more real and strangely makes me happy.
Darcy and Selvig are back and give the audience the biggest laughs. You know who needs to meet in this universe? Darcy and Luis! Seriously, their banter would be the best.
Anyway, Darcy brings the one liners and kills it with the commentary. Stellan Skarsgard is a joy to watch playing Selvig as a man who has truly lost him mind because of Loki.
Loki, Loki, Loki. What a performance. We get everything in this film. We get playful Loki, charming Loki, angry Lo… you get the picture. Loki is such a complicated, layered, character. One which is perhaps going through an identity crisis. I’m not sure I could imagine anyone other than Tom Hiddleston playing him better.

The Bad

Watching the films so close together does point out some recycled plotlines. The method of destruction used by the dark elves is way too similar to the bad guys in Iron Man 3. It’s a shame, because it might not have seemed so obvious had they not followed each other directly.
Christopher Eccleston. Now, Christopher Eccleston is MY Doctor. I will watch anything and everything he is in (I’m talking Gone in 60 Seconds, G I Joe and even The Others, despite not liking other people in the cast.). However, he should never have taken this part. You can tell he’s phoning it in. With a role like this, if anyone it not committed the audience can tell, never mind when its Christopher Eccleston uncommitted. It’s truly heart breaking, because when he’s on form, he kills it.
Still not a fan of Natalie Portman as Jane. Cannot put my finger on it, because I do quite like Portman. I guess it’s that I don’t see someone who is so invested in her work would become so loopy over a guy she’s known for 72 hours, 2 years previous?! Feels very Disney fairy-tale to me and Jane Foster deserves better.

The Ugly

Gratuitous topless shot of Thor. Hey, I love it and I appreciate it as much as the next person who finds Hemsworth attractive. However, in the philosophy of equality, I have to call out all gratuity when I see it. There’s literally is no point to it other than showing the audience those beautiful rock hard abs.
Shipping Lady Sif and Thor. Why though? Lady Sif is this badass that the film decides to soften with the longing looks and unrequited pining.

Final Thoughts

Much better than I remembered it. Loved how the film gave the audience a non-shiny London and brought back all our favourites.

Short Circuit (1986) Film Review

Rating PG
Length 1h38
Release 5.12.1986
Director John Badham
About Johnny is a data courier who literally carries data packages inside his head for a fee. This time he carries a package that is too large to hold for long and he must race against time to deliver it.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: DVD
Trailer:

First Thoughts

This was MY movie. This was on a repeat cycle along with Santa Claus: the Movie, Flight of the Navigator and Batteries Not Included. Short Circuit was my comfort movie, only to be replaced when Jurassic Park was available to own.
However, I probably hadn’t watched this again since I reached double digits. Surprisingly, I remembered almost all of it word for word.

The Good

This really is a film for everyone. There was so much humour and dialogue I hadn’t picked up on as a kid that I’m sure adults at the time would have found funny. The best example is when Johnny 5 offloads his tracker to a cute looking couple. They’re pulled over by Skroder and his crones and the wife turns to the husband and states: “I hope you moved the grass from the glove compartment”.
G W Bailey. If you’re in the UK, you probably know him best for his comedic roles in Police Academy and Mannequin. However, in the States, he’s a highly regarded dramatic actor. It’s only once you see him in some of his more serious roles that you really begin to appreciate his style of humour. The joy of having Bailey in these roles witnessing the moment the character snaps. That “She’s the dummy, she’s the dummy.” moment, if you will.
Wall-e tried to take Johnny 5’s crown, but come on. No robot is ever going to be better than Johnny “I am alive” 5. Even with his angles and metal exterior, I want to hug him. It’s the voice that truly makes him. There’s something charming about it.
While a little heavy on the synth, I adore this score and soundtrack. It may be to do with how much I watched this film, but I can’t hear its title without mentally singing “who is Johnny?”, the films theme song, in my head.

The Bad

The weird leering of Johhny 5 over Stephanie is something I didn’t catch as a kid, but really creeps me the fuck out as an adult. Perhaps it’s not so much Johnny’s flirtations, but how Stephanie responds?! I mean, is she hoping he has an attachment just for her?!

The Ugly

I think its a given that Fisher Stevens’ brown face is one of the most offensive things put on celluloid. Mainly because this is one of the most inoffensive films. ever. Oh, and the fact that he’s the one that comes over to the sequel?! Seriously.
Of course, at the time, I thought nothing of it. I giggled away at him getting things wrong in that ‘funny voice’. However, as an adult, I’m horrified that there was a time in which this stereotype was acceptable.

Final Thoughts

It still has that charm, but it certainly won’t be on my regular rewatch list any time soon.

Blow Dry (2001) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h34
Release 30.3.2001
Director Paddy Breathnach
About Shelley operates a small salon with her partner. When the British Hairdressing Championships are announced, Shelley asks her ex-husband and son to join her.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

Alan Rickman. He can do ham, he can do serious, he can do villainy. He could do anything he put his mind to, but the best roles of his are the ones where you can see that he’s having the time of his time. Blow Dry is no exception. I got this film to watch solely on the fact that Rickman was in it and he’s a joy to watch.
This film represents. I suppose when its about a hairdressing competition, that’s a bit of an open goal. But, this is a film from 2001 that has a lesbian couple and it’s not the main part of the plot. Okay, so it’s a quirky British film and never made the Box Office of Full Monty or Billy Elliot. However, this is still a mainstream movie and it’s quite progressive.
At the heart of this film is the relationships. Whether its newly forged, reconnections or companionship; they’re all there. While I love the scenes with Phil (Rickman) and Sandra (Griffiths), my favourite is that between Natasha Richardson’s Shelley and Rosemary Harris’ Daisy. It’s a bittersweet and unapologetic friendship; it’s one that is very ‘northern’.
My absolute favourite part of this movie is the evolution of the Mayor of Keighley, played by the wonderful Warren Clarke. Tony’s growth from Town councillor out of his depth, to joyous host and confident charmer is just a beautiful thing to watch.

The Bad

There is a massive plot hole in this film that bugs the fuck out of me. The only reason why its here and not swapped with what I’ve put in ‘ugly’, is that the accents bug more than just me.
So, final look? Spent 6 months workin’ on it did ya Phil? How’s that possible given that in involves a tattoo over 50% of the lass’s scalp?
The rating. There are a few things that make this a 15 rating that, had they been cut would have brought it down to a 12. One scene that is perhaps unnecessary is seeing Heidi Klum’s pink merkin! Yup, not one to sit and watch with your families folks.

The Ugly

The accents. There’s a few really dodgy attempts at a Yorkshire twang in this heartwarming film, however Josh Hartnett really needed to spend more time with a dialect coach. Totally understand why they cast him; he was The Name of the noughties, I also know that this film needed to be set ‘up north’ to have that charm. I just wish it wasn’t quite so terrible an attempt.

Final Thoughts

It’s flawed. However, there’s enough charm to distract you from the cracks. It’s also a good film to spot some actors as they’re starting out.