Rating PG Length 1h57 Release 02.12.2022 Director Matthew Marchus About Matilda lives with her brother and parents, who are unappreciative of her. She utilises her telekinetic abilities to settle the score after her principal brutally tortures her with the help of her kind-hearted teacher. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
The Good
I’m very happy the film did not keep to the stage adaption’s tradition of casting a man in the role of Ms Trunchball. I found it odd it the play, but had they cast raph fines as originally planned it wouldn’t have translated.
Keeping with Trunchball, Emma Thompson is glorious in the role. I was curious how she was going to have the physical presence given her naturally tiny frame. Not quite sure how it was achieved, but it all works.
Alisha Weir does an incredible job at carrying this film as the powerful and courageous Matilda. As much as I don’t want the Harry Potter adaptation to go ahead, Weir is perfect for Hermione.
The production design is stunning, particularly the school which you can see clearly the prison inspiration.
I do love that the story has returned to England for this production. There’s something inherently British about the story and while the Danny DeVito directed film is incredible, there’s a charm and tone here that is missing in the other.
The Bad
I do not like most musicals, and this is not exception. The opening number almost saw me turning it right off.
The Ugly
There’s something about a musical worked around children. Perhaps it’s that they are not able to sing using the full range, but it’s musical talking over a score. It makes me want to rip my ears off.
Final Thoughts
I’ll never watch it again, but if you love your musicals you might gain some enjoyment from it.
Rating PG Length 2h02 Release 01.04.2022 Director Jeff Fowler About After settling in Green Hills, Sonic is eager to prove that he has what it takes to be a true hero. His test comes when Dr. Robotnik returns with a new partner, Knuckles, in search of a mystical emerald that has the power to destroy civilizations. Sonic teams up with his own sidekick, Tails, and together they embark on a globe-trotting journey to find the emerald before it falls into the wrong hands. Moon: moons seen while Robotnik is on Mushroom Planet Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
The Good
I absolutely loved the all human “project catfish” b-plot. The obvious being the addition of Criminal Minds’ Shemar Moore as the groom at the destination wedding, but it’s also the ladies: Tina Sumpter and Natasha Rothwell going up against the government with Tail’s tech. I kind of wish there was more to this.
Jim Carrey is having just as much fun this time around and he is almost a complete delight to have in this instalment.
The dad-joke puns are awesome and plentiful in this outing.
The Bad
Sonic spends too much time with other CGI creatures and begging the question; did this really need to be live action? While my favourite parts involve the humans, those scenes don’t overly contribute to the main “plot”
The Ugly
No kids film should exceed the 1h 40 mark.
You have the beautiful Idris Elba cast. You have the potential to have him alongside the equally stunning Shemar Moore, and you make him CGI?! Are you actually kidding me? Talk about a tease! I all seriousness though, Elba was criminally wasted.
Final Thoughts
Too long and, to quote Jim Carrey’s Dr, too derivative. Not one I’m going to rush to watch again and I really feel for any parent’s out there potentially having to watch this on a loop.
Rating 15 Length 1h52 Release 02.12.2022 Director Tommy Wirkola About An elite team of mercenaries breaks into a family compound on Christmas Eve, taking everyone hostage inside. However, they aren’t prepared for a surprise combatant: Santa Claus is on the grounds, and he’s about to show why this Nick is no saint. Moon: Full Moon seen in the opening scene Where to Watch: Amazon Prime (for rental or purchase), Now TV Trailer:
Naughty
There’s no redemption for most of the Lightstone family. They’re not innocent, so the robbery should act as a Santa does for the Christmas clan of robbers. No one in the family makes any changes by the end of the film and that really is a shame.
While the kid is mostly cute, there’s just the odd few times in which her pitch and tone skirts her towards the annoying.
Not so much about this film, but I am concerned about the talk of another movie. More Harbour in that leather, oh yes please! However, this is a film that relies heavily on the premise that we’ve switched John McClane out for Santa; not just one, but the snowy second outing too. Not only that, but the film is a homage for Home Alone too. I’m worried there isn’t enough left to mine from.
Vomit! Yes I laughed. However,
Nice
The music is awesome. I didn’t even know Bryan Adams had released a Christmas song, let alone it being as good as it is. Then it’s how the music is used, the positivity clashes with the violence and it’s incredible.
David Harbour makes for one amazing, leather clad, viking Santa. He’s got the humour, the deep set anger and the moves of an action hero. There’s a scene at the midpoint that could hint at a potential prequel.
The Home Alone scene. You’ll know once you’ve seen it.
Final Thoughts
It’s Die Hard, with more Christmas, meets Home Alone with my favourite man, David Harbour playing a silvered fox Santa. I’ve watched it five times this December, so I guess that tells you all you need to know.
Rating 12 Length 1h48 Release 01.02.2023 (In the US) Director David Hunt About Music critic Bob is out of a job, addicted to Zoloft, and trying to wrangle the menagerie of animals that his wife Amy has accumulated. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Amazon Prime (for rental or purchase) Trailer:
The Good
The moment Joe Mazzello begins his narration, I know I’m in safe hands. I’ve yet to see the actor turned director take a creative misstep in his entire career (Although give me three wishes, I’m using one of those bad boys to have Small Soldiers and A.I added to his filmography) He has always been excellent at playing characters that are steeped in tragedy, but Mazzello has evolved into an entertainingly dark comedian and it is exactly what a film like this needs to lighten the tone. Bob was also someone I was able to identify with and a brilliant way connect to the film. The Character’s arc of acknowledging his depression, the all-too-real experience of psychotherapy and the complications of prescription medication could feel too heavy if it wasn’t for Mazzello’s performance.
The film is funny. Not only the character of Bob. Yes he’s dry, witty and sarcastic in a way that I find charming, however the film itself is able to bring a comedic tone to much of the events. Some reminds me of Tom Hanks’ Money Pit (1986) and other situational comedies.
One thing I love about independent films is that the audience are given a different storytelling experience. Along with the change in narrator throughout the film, there’s some playing with time when we’re coming to the end of the film to allow an element of completion and fulfilment. Something other, more mainstream, films would not attempt and leave the audience without closure.
The Bad
This is a bittersweet film that does not provide the typical narrative. It plays like real life. Largely to do with it being based on upon the biographical book Enslaved by Ducks by Bob Tart. However it does mean that it touches on difficult topics and not everyone gets a happy ending. For some this may be too much like their own lives, for others it may be triggering. For me, it was comforting to know that others go through similar thoughts and feelings. That I’m not alone and there’s a hope for coming out the other side.
It is hard to watch this film and not be even the tiniest bit curious about what the version with Ashley Tisdale as Amy would have been like. That’s not to say Anna Camp was not perfectly cast; she’s adorable and bubbly, but able to handle the emotional consequences of life not going quite to plan. I just know that dynamics and nuances will have given a completely different film. I also spent a lot of time following this film and was saddened upon the shoot having to shut down due to covid-19 restrictions with mere days left to film.
I’m not sure the film plays on the use of music enough. It’s a personal thing, but to me the protagonist is Bob. Yes, other characters contribute to the narration but 90% is Bob. I would argue that most of the music is reflecting Amy. It is at odds with the film for me. That’s not to say I didn’t like the choices, I just would have liked it to either be a reflection of Bob.
The Ugly
The ugly truth is that living in the UK has meant I’ve had to wait until today, 21 December, to be able to watch this film. Independent cinema is stunning, it is meaningful and it offers an alternative to the loud and fast blockbusters that dominate the cinema. This film would have had a decent box office and could have enticed viewers similar to those who sobbed their way through My Sister’s Keeper (2009) and those who chuckled and cried through Juno (2007). However, films like Unexpected are not finding their way into the cinema and it really is heartbreaking to see.
Final Thoughts
While the topics of depression and fertility may not be my usual go to topics for a Friday night watch, Anna Camp, Joe Mazzello and Scrub’s Neil Flynn not only make me glad I watched, they are the reason I’ll be watching again.
Rating 18 Length 1h40 Release 27.01.2023 Director Jason Moore About Darcy and Tom gather their families for a destination wedding, but the ceremony gets put on hold when gunmen take everyone hostage. Now, they must do everything they can to save their loved ones — if they don’t wind up killing each other first. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Amazon Prime Trailer:
The Good
J-Lo is not winning any Oscars here, but I’m okay with that. She gives a solid comedic performance that one would expect. She does carry a lot of the film so it’s good that she’s really the worthwhile selling point. The character of Darcy is likeable enough that you’re with her and want her to succeed. It’s just a shame the same cannot be said about the relationship she’s in.
Jennifer Coolidge! I love her! Not only do I love her, I finally appreciate what she brings to the table that no one else can. Honestly, if you’d had her as the focus of this film instead of J-Lo I would have watched the fuck out of that. Would her comedic style translate to a protagonist without it’s novelty wearing off?! Maybe not, but I know I’d at least give it a go. In the same sense as J-Lo, she ain’t winning any awards for the gimmicky Mother of the Groom but she will crack everyone watching up.
The story is fine enough. It’s Die Hard at a wedding. Only there is the refreshing change that there’s no one there who has a John McClain wrong place, wrong time but having that unique set of skills brings to an action movie. Yes, the movie makes use of Duhamel’s Tom being a baseball player and pretty much everyone gets to grips with handling a gun pretty quickly, but that’s easily overlooked.
The Bad
Josh Duhamel was not right for the part of Tom. He was not believable as the insecure bloke, he had no chemistry with J-Lo and I just didn’t want him there. In his defence, once you find out the role once belonged to Ryan Reynolds, it’s an uphill battle to be won over by Duhamel. However…. I only found that out because I looked it up because I’d already lost interest in him as a character. In fact, most of my notes were comprised of actors who would have been better for the role and I settled on Joel McHale. This character is meant to have that insecurity while also having that element of awesomeness that McHale honed during his time on Community.
The relationship of Tom and Darcey doesn’t work. Again, at best it feels force, at worst he’s just an accessory to J-Lo’s Darcey. The biggest problem is that for this to work as a Wedding movie and a hate to love story, you have to start with the couple questioning getting married. Unfortunately, it worked so well that I didn’t feel satisfied with the resolution. It almost would have worked better if they were the divorced parent’s of the bride who return to love because of the pirate entrance and hijinks.
The Ugly
The opening 20 minutes are painful and what’s worse is that they’re unnecessary. Yes, it’s a way to get to know everyone, but it feels forced and could have been added to the scene of the actual wedding day. It all felt so flat and really made me question Tom and Darcey as a couple. Like, even at the end I didn’t think they belonged together and that is down to the opinion I formed in those first 20 minutes that the rest of the film could not overcome.
Final Thoughts
It doesn’t require thought and it will be an ideal Saturday night movie for most. Just no sparks when it comes to romance.
Rating PG Length 1h39 Release 24.11.2022 Director Charles Shyer About When a best-selling author returns home at Christmas to settle his mother’s estate, he finds a diary that holds secrets to the past. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
Naughty List
Hair! Oh I know it’s stupid to be getting on my nerves, but close the end of the film and on the return leg of the road trip, Rachel’s hair goes from curls to salon straight. 1. I’m pissed off with the implication that straight hair is more attractive. 2. There’s no way, that character, would have packed the essentials to get that salon finish. Seriously, it’s Winter Soldier’s Black Widow scene all over again.
Why does the woman always have to cheat?! Or rather, why did she have to have a fiancé? Okay, most who watching this will get swept away with the romance and I agree, it’s not that deep. Except it is. It’s a trope for that reason; its a formulaic characterisation to put in an “obstacle” or ‘tension’. On the surface, that’s fine. But spend more than a second on it, and they’ve trashed their leading woman.
It’s rather bloated and tries to almost tell the story of two films in one. Normally the two leads each having something to resolve is no bother, even adding in the romance… I think it is the added complication of her not being available is the proverbial wafer thin mint this film could have done without.
Nice List
Two very beautiful, and charming, leads. Both Barrett Doss and Justin Hartley are wonderful in their own respects, but when they are together they make this film joyful. You know, until the script gets in the way.
I really found some comfort in the scenes with James Remar. Someone who has always improved anything I’ve watched, there was something powerful in his performance as an estranged father.
Despite the sadness that sets the film in motion, it is rather uplifting by the time the credit call time on this Hallmark-lite story.
Final Thoughts
Easy to believe the romance, leave your brain at the door and enjoy it for what it is: a PG Mills&Boon by way of the Hallmark channel.
Rating 12a Length 2h05 Release 21.10.2022 Director Jaume Collet-Serra About In ancient Kahndaq, Teth Adam was bestowed the almighty powers of the gods. After using these powers for vengeance, he was imprisoned, becoming Black Adam. Nearly 5,000 years have passed, and Black Adam has gone from man to myth to legend. Now free, his unique form of justice, born out of rage, is challenged by modern-day heroes who form the Justice Society: Hawkman, Dr. Fate, Atom Smasher and Cyclone. Moon: Full moon in mid-credit sequence Where to Watch: Limited screenings in cinemas nationwide Trailer:
The Good
I really quite enjoyed Pierce Brosnan hamming it up as Dr Fate. He was one of very few saving graces of the film.
Bodhi Sabongui was phenomenal as Amon Topaz. He gave the character his all, he won me over from the start; to the point where I thought this film was going to be a rehash of Shazam and he was going to be our Black Adam. I truly look forward to seeing where this kid pops up next, because he is most definitely one to watch.
There’s a fight sequence “in the rain” and that is incredibly well filmed.
The Bad
The plot is clunky and it’s even debateable whether it’s not a Justice Society film and not Black Adam.
My boy Dwayne Johnson. I get that there’s meant to be this reserved persona about Black Adam, but why’d you make him a Vulcan?! It’s just wrong.
The Ugly
I spend most of the time at odds with the title character. That shouldn’t happen and that was plotting choices. In an attempt to make Black Adam a mystery, the audience is alienated and made to feel like he’s the bad guy.
I’m also not meant to dislike the Justice Society. Like, seriously?! I’m hating the bad guys, I’m hating the good guys and the main guy…. this movie is not leaving me with much to like.
It’s CGI is shit! Beyond shit. It certainly isn’t going to age well.
Rating PG Length 1h29 Release 12.4.2017 Director Greg McLean (Writer James Gunn) About Follows a pop star who’s got a career burnout and escapes to a small town where she finds not only inspiration but a shot of love. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Part of MGM subscription on Amazon Prime Trailer:
Naughty
It’s not only predictable, it’s paint by numbers plotting. Take out the Christmas setting and I’d be out within the first few scenes.
The set up all feels a little too contrived for my liking. It’s only because of how good it is once you’re past the set up that it can be forgiven.
Nice
Freddie Prinze Jnr! How awesome it is seeing him back as a leading man. He may have grown up, but he certainly hasn’t lost his charm. Not only that, but this is a rare occasion in which his Latino heritage has been utilised in this way and he kills is from the start.
Amiee Garcia, the wonderful Ella Lopez of Lucifer. It’s amazing to see her give us a better J-Lo than J-Lo! She’s funny, she’s charming and sincere. The only thing I didn’t buy was the idea that she was old and out of touch. Seriously, she looks younger than me, not her 47 years of age.
The chemistry, the comedy and the Christmas-ness of it all really will keep everyone entertained. There’s a true sense of family that will hit even the coldest of hears.
Final Thoughts
Not only is this a decent Christmas outing, it’s better than the other “super famous popstar falls for super regular DILF” 2022 has to offer. Switch off your brain and enjoy.
Rating PG Length 2h02 Release 82.11.2022 Director Adam Shankman About Years after her happily ever after, Giselle, Robert and Morgan move to a new community and Andalasia and the real world are thrown off-balance. Moon: Full moon in final animated shot before the credits Where to Watch: Disney Plus Trailer:
The Good
Gabriella Baldacchino really holds her own as Morgan. I almost wish the film had allowed her to be the protagonist. Watching it everything unfold from her perspective would have allowed for more of a fresher take. I’d have loved it if she’d gotten to save her love interest too. Really play around with convention.
Amy Adams does well playing wicked. Who’d have thunk it? She certainly looked to be playing the part and the film really warms for me once she’s no longer playing sickly sweet miss perfect.
The musical (score, that is. Although kudos on the Frozen reference) and visual cues to other fairy tales was quite good. From the on the nose, to subtle I expect people will be compiling an “all the Easter Eggs and references in Disenchanted” over the coming month.
The Bad
Gah, the singing. I hate musicals.
Giselle’s fish out of water and unrelenting pep had me reaching for the remote. This is why the fish out of water genre/clique does not do well with sequels. It’s only charming the first time out.
The Wicked
How do you have two amazing singing talents like Yvette Nichole Brown and Jayma Mays and waste them?! In a film about calling out the conventions in song, how did our wing-women not get a number? I’d have taken that over Dempsey’s ham fisted cringe-worthy attempts.
Final Thoughts
A film that perhaps too way too long to be released and feels a little too been there, done that.
Rating 12a Length 2h07 Release 18.11.2022 Director Sean Anders About A musical version of Charles Dickens’ story of a miserly misanthrope who’s taken on a magical journey. Moon: There was a waxing crescent towards the end of the film Where to Watch: Part of Apple TV and selected cinemas. Trailer:
Naughty List
Some of the green screen is really ropey. I like what it is trying to achieve, however if I’m noticing on a first viewing? I hate to think what it’ll look like a few years down the line.
The concept set up is a little tedious. Could be the number of songs that are crammed into the set up (I’m not a fan of musicals), but I really needed some of the fat trimmed one way or another.
It’s a tad too long for me. I like my Dickens, and my musicals, like I like my cocktails. Short. Yes, this does break out of the standard one night, three ghosts, formula. Still not sure it justifies the screen time.
Nice List
I adore the ‘Monsters Inc’, behind the scenes on the supernatural, vibe that this Christmas Carol outing presents.
Ryan Reynolds man! Seriously, he gives his best Reynolds performance, showmanship, with his “Scrooge” in need of turning. Not only that, but he gives the audience Broadway chops! He sings, he dances, he taps! He also has amazing chemistry with Wil Farrell.
The songs, while I’m not a massive fan, have that whimsical Jim Henson for adults gloss. They’re uplifting, clear and annoyingly catchy. Anyone without my aversion will love them.
It’s nothing you will have ever seen from a Christmas Carol before. It has that meta-ness that Reynold’s Free Guy gave everyone last year, while this actually throws in a few curveballs.
Final Thoughts
It’s a decent film, with its own spin on the overtold classic. It might take a moment to get into, but it pays off in ways you won’t even expect.
Rating 12 Length 2h41 Release 11.11.2022 Director Ryan Coogler About Queen Ramonda, Shuri, M’Baku, Okoye and the Dora Milaje fight to protect their nation from intervening world powers in the wake of King T’Challa’s death. As the Wakandans strive to embrace their next chapter, the heroes must band together with Nakia and Everett Ross to forge a new path for their beloved kingdom. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Cinemas Nationwide now. Trailer:
The Good
How the film handles the passing of Chadwick Boseman is touching, tasteful and by shifting the protagonist focus from the start means there is no offensive Star Wars type CGI to fill in the narrative gaps.
Winston Duke is the perfect scene stealer, as as always, however what I loved most in this outing was that he held his own for the emotional scenes as well as the comedic.
The commentary on politics and the passing of a monarch was not lost on me. It was obviously filmed long before the passing of the Queen of England, but the message still resonated.
How the film handled grief was powerful. I liked the exploration of different ways to grieve. Not only as a film that embodied the grief for Boseman, but for the character of T’Challa too.
The film is fucking stunning
The Bad
I’m not sure about the inclusion of a quasi-hindu culture for the anti-hero Namor and his aquatic community. I am aware that its meant to be the Mayan culture, however the blue skin makes it hard not to make parallels with Hinduism. Whether it was about ensuring diversity, or setting them apart from the DC counterparts, it just didn’t land right. It could also be that there’s upcoming blue bastards that irk me somewhat. I mean, why do they always have to be blue?
Weren’t the Enternals fucking about with the Mayan culture back in that shit show? Or are we just pretending that movie never happened now? I mean, we pretty trotted all over the globe in this movie…. why was there no glimpse of that celestial corpse. Could have easily been that body that disturbed the vibranium and started this all off. You know, so that there’s literally *one* tiny thread connecting this phase’s movies together! Fuck, did MCU really peak with the Infinity Saga?!
The Ugly
It was about forty minutes too long and lacked enough action sequences to balance out the emotion. Kids can take the emotion, hell we’ve all been through enough Uncle Bens by now to know that. However there’s the web slinging to counter balance.
I think the film tried to fit too much into this movie. I also think that Phase Four should have had this as a limited series and gave Falcon and Winter Soldier the movie.
Getting very tired of the queerbaiting bull shit from the House of Mouse. If you’re going to go gay, go gay. Don’t do the hint to keep your conservative viewers happy. You can’t pay lip service any more. I’m all for making it clear without the neon sign, but this ain’t that. This is called being a pussy!
Final Thoughts
It did it’s best with the story it *had* to tell. It also attempts to tackle such a mountainous topic like grief but it essentially boiled down to being yet another Marvel origin.
Rating 12 Length 2h10 Release 04/11/2022 Director Harry Bradbeer About Enola Holmes takes on her first case as a detective, but to unravel the mystery of a missing girl, she’ll need some help from friends — and brother Sherlock. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Netflix Trailer:
The Good
Millie Bobby Brown is rather good as Enola. This is the kind of actress who is not only comfortable in her own skin, but it able to show vulnerability within the characters she’s playing. This is no exception and, a perfect example is when she is able to, in character, break the fourth wall. Not many actors of her age could pull it, let alone with such an impact on the story.
All returning actors play their parts as excellently as they had previously and we have new comer David Thewlis who is a delight as always, even if he was playing rather typecast. But then, I always have preferred his Lupin to his Freddie May.
The Bad
I felt as if the film relied a tad too much on Henry Cavill in this outing. Perhaps it was the lack of Claflin as the second Holmes brother, or just the Cavill of it all but it was one scene away from being a Sherlock Holmes story and that rankled me.
Which I partly feel was down to the story. Perhaps one that works better in the book, but on the screen I felt that it was trying to be a clever nod to Doyle’s original works while still attempting to be canon. I loved the Matchstick girl storyline, but as it became a larger story and clearly weaved into the elder Holmes’ case, I felt underwhelmed.
The Ugly
I must say I felt that the protest scene was mishandled. For a film, it felt twee and too scripted. Knowing the protest and strike was a real event made it even harder to swallow. The script and staging was just too clunky, too inactive and then a switch was pressed and it changed. I wish they’d played it differently is all and built the scene up rather than have it stagnant and switch.
Final Thoughts
A perfect autumnal watch as the light draws in. It’s wonderful to see Brown holding her own and growing as an actor.
The Queens of Geekdom 