hscptcrash

The Addams Family 2 (2021) Halloween Advent

Rating PG
Length 1h33
Release 8.10.2021
Director Conrad Vernon and Greg Tieman
About Hoping to get closer as a family, Gomez, Morticia and the rest of the Addams clan embark on an adventurous road trip in a hideous and humongous camper.
Moon: Starts off as a crescent, going into a full moon
Where to Watch: Cinemas nationwide
Trailer:

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Finn Wolfhard didn’t return. Honestly, I’m gutted because the person they got to replace him was so different.
It had a very Simpsons feel, in the sense that nothing from the first film had any standing in this one. A shame really, as I loved the characters we met in the first film and it would have been quite easy to intergrade them into the story.
What happened to having Kitty as the MGM lion?! (Side bar: I got very upset at the youngling who insisted, repeatedly, that the MGM logo showed a TIGER! Don’t worry readers, I did not heckle)

Treat

There’s some excellent horror movie Easter eggs throughout the film for eagle eyed adults.
The story is pretty decent; for both kids and adults. Elements may be predictable, but it is a cartoon.
The comedy is as standard as the first outing, which gags for kids and ones for adults. Some of the location gags are just brilliant.
While there are arguments that this film is not in keeping with the live action or tv offerings, I must disagree. I have found both offerings well within the spirit of the Addams Family.
Snoop Dogg is perfect as Cousin Itt. I do want to play his lines backwards to see if he does indeed say what the characters say he does. (Thank you Red Dwarf for enabling me to identify backward tracks)

Final Thoughts

Its a decent kids film with a fun plot and a wonderful story arc for Wednesday. While I doubt the box office will see a third outing green-lit, if we do I would love to see Pugsley have a bigger role. Even with, sigh, the new voice actor.

Prom Night (2008) Halloween Advent

Rating 15
Length 1h30
Release 6.6.2008
Director Nelson McCormick
About Donna’s senior prom is supposed to be the best night of her life, but a sadistic killer from her past has different plans for her and her friends.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

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The story is lacking, so much. It’s economical in how it tells the story, but I’m left feeling a bit underwhelmed as a result.
My biggest issue with this is the film’s killer. Idris Elba’s Winn mentions that the jury felt he was insane and so didn’t opt for the death penalty. With what’s presented, I can see why. There really needed to be a little more to the prologue to show how it escalated to the point that it did; what was their relationship like? I understand throwing us in at the point they did was a creative choice, but I want to be in the position Winn is and know that he’s a bad guy, that he wasn’t just insane. The way its presented, it’s almost as if there’s another film preceding this.
Plot choices. Like, seriously, you’re going to have Winn pull the fire alarm and still have the lifts in action? It’s stupid that I’m annoyed, but everyone knows that is what happens to lifts. Hell, you could have had the killer on the lift with one of the friends and it be at the point that the alarm is pulled, she realises who he is. It could also be that the lift doors had only just closed, so there’s not questioning how he got out.
Oh, and the dream fake-out to only go and have her do the exact same thing when she’s awake. The girl has been through a traumatic experience. Don’t know about anyone else, but I’m sure as shit getting that boyfriend to come with me.

Treat

Idris Elba. Damn it, this man could be in the world’s worst film and I would still watch. Beautiful, smart and someone you would absolutely want on your side if a mad man was after you.
Brittany Snow really holds her own as the lead, and final girl. She is one of a few actors that stop this being a complete loss of a film.

Final Thoughts

Great concept, boiled down to a mindless slasher. It’s a one watch wonder that really should be better.

Halloween II (1981) Halloween Advent

Rating 18
Length 1h32
Release 26.4.2012
Director Rick Rosenthal
About Myers, a horrific murderer, spends 15 years in an insane asylum after terrorising the people in his small hometown on the eve of a Halloween. As soon as he gets out, he hunts down his sister.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

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The opening is rather clunky and almost feels like I’ve missed a scene or two. I understand it starts off directly after the first film, but I think that puts this film at a disadvantage because of the first being resolved.
The tone of the film is off. It has the Horror elements, but there’s also lines of dialogue and the way they’re delivered, that will reduce most viewers to fits of giggles. The biggest laugh is when a Michael Myers is hit by a police car. The sequence, I’m sure, is meant to be shocking. It most definitely isn’t.
Michael Myers has a whole new silhouette. They must not have been able to get the original guy back, and it shows. It’s hard to not notice and it really takes you out of the film.
The time of day is really unclear. In some scenes it appears at if it’s at least gone midnight, in others it appears like its not even past 7pm. Add to that, the fact that the hospital Laurie is taken to is unusually empty for a peak evening, the film just feels disjointed.

Treat

The new theme remix is cool.
Some of the deaths are messy and genius, particularly the one in the hot tub.

Final Thoughts

To make this work, it really needed to go the way of Alien/Aliens and not sit in this middle ground of a tonal shift. Because the original is so good, it was never going to match it, so it needed to offer something completely different.

The Babysitter’s Guide to Monster Hunting (2020) Halloween Advent

Rating PG
Length 1h34
Release 15.10.2020
Director Rachel Talalay
About Recruited by a secret society of babysitters, a high schooler battles the Boogeyman and his monsters when they nab the boy she’s watching on Halloween.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

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It is clear from how the film is set up, that this is meant to be the first in a series. There’s always a way in which these films are created that makes them feel more like they’re trying to set up the universe than be in the story they’re telling.
If the creative team are not invested and engaged in the current story, how do they hope the viewer will be?
The tired old trope of parents asking their child to babysit at a minutes notice. Halloween is for kids, you let them have their fun. While it always leads to a good story (Hocus Pocus, case in point), I just wish they could come up with something new.
Give me more Tom Felton. He was a joy to watch, and while I’d love to see him play the hero at some point, he’s just so good as the bad guy.

Treat

It has that Percy Jackson watchability. I am not its target audience, but I don’t feel forgotten.
The cast is solid. So much so I am gutted at least a second film hasn’t been commissioned. They will most certainly have aged out by now.
The plot is simplistic, but effective. Adults may see the next plot points coming a mile off, but its a little bit of a comfort too.

Final Thoughts

Its the perfect film for a midweek watch when you don’t want anything too taxing.

Scary Movie (2000) Halloween Advent

Rating 18
Length 1h28
Release 8.9.2000
Director Keenen Ivory Wayans
About Cindy Campbell and her friends mistakenly end up killing a man. A year after the unfortunate incident, someone stalks them, leaves threatening messages and tries to kill them one by one.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

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This film hasn’t aged well. There’s some jokes and nods that reference things that were so of the moment that anyone watching today will not understand ‘wassssup’ and the Matrix ‘bullet time’ are among the few that just seem outdated. There are some ‘jokes’ that should never have been okay to put to film.
Case in point is the ‘gag’ of Miss Mann, the PE teacher. They’re revealed to be a pre-op trans woman and its oh so funny *please understand the eyeroll and sarcasm that went into this* because geddit, geddit???! Just in case you didn’t, we get an eyeful of scrotum when the character sits, open legged with a skirt on.
I don’t care about the intention of this. At all. It’s fucked up and wrong, and there’s no excusing it.
Some of it is a little too on the nose. Like, in some cases its lines of dialogue lifted from the film they’re lampooning. Spoof is no new thing; Mel Brooks is the master and everyone loves Airplane! but the beauty of most of those films lie in their subtlety. They’re commenting upon the genre as a whole, but this makes it almost too personal.
The over-acting at times is painful. It cheapens it and sucks IQ points from me every time I watch. I know I’m not the target audience; I prefer homage to whatever the fuck this is.

Treat

I love the black representation in this movie; from the tongue in cheek “A whole bunch of people are dead, so these black asses are getting out of here” to the interaction in the cinema that riffs off the opening of Scream 2. I can see how carefully this film was constructed; it walked that careful ‘White Hollywood’ line so that films like Fifty Shades of Black and Black Panther could run.
You have to hold off for the pay off, but I really like the ongoing persona of Shawn Wayans’ Ray. I’ll admit, I was a little uncomfortable at the sledgehammer hints that he’s gay. However, in that final act when Bobby reveals he’s gay and that so is Ray, Wayans response is brilliant; it’s not offended, its a plain and simple ‘I’m not’. It feels a little bit like a ‘fuck you judgemental motherfucker’ and I’m all up for that.
Doofy is fucking brilliant. It’s a character that really takes the film to its most insane extremes and really does throw you off the first time of watching. Plus, kudos has to go to that neat little nod to the Usual Suspects right at the end there.
Fair play to the sexual positivity of women in this film. Yes, it is done for laughs, but there’s equality in that- there’s pot shots at both male and female masturbation.

Final Thoughts

This has not aged well, but if you are a teenage boy, you have the emotional range of a teenage boy, or you’re looking to have 90 minutes of ‘I get that reference’ hammered down your throat…. this is your wheelhouse.

The Mummy (1959) Halloween Advent

Rating X/ 18
Length 1h26
Release 25.9.1959
Director Terence Fisher
About Three archaeologists uncover the sarcophagus of Princess Ananka despite being warned of a curse. The situation regresses when one of them awakens Kharis, who was entombed alive to guard the princess.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Purchased for £5 on Amazon Prime
Trailer:

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I’m not sure I enjoyed the flashback approach to the storytelling. I know it is a tool of the Hammer Horrors, but it doesn’t work so well here. I felt a little lost and bogged down as I was too invested in the characters I’d met, rather than the ‘why’ of the curse.
The inclusion of Mrs Banning does pale in comparison to the 1999 instalment. It feels more that she’s a token female character thrown in at the last minute, rather than being integral to the plot. A shame, as it would only require one or two changes.

Treat

What is not to love about this classic Hammer Horror. There’s a charm to the static approach of filming, the obvious soundstage setting and even the actor’s approach to dialogue is very different to what we’d expect today.
Peter Cushing is such a striking lead. He most certainly must have inspired Tom Hiddleston at some point. Certainly, if there’s ever a biopic about the Hammer Horror movies; Hiddleston is a shoe-in for playing Cushing.
Christopher Lee is unmistakeable, even when he’s covered in bandages. His presence is daunting while bandaged, but it is rather enchanting when we get to the flashbacks.
Even though I mentioned that the cameras are rather static throughout, there is a change to that when the father is about to be attacked. The bedroom is shown on an angle and it gives you a great sense of the panic the man is feeling.
The set designs are really quite beautiful and the music compliments the whole film and the changing moods.

Final Thoughts

Not my favourite Hammer Horror, but certainly worth a watch for Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee alone.

The Mummy (1999) Halloween Advent

Rating 12
Length 2h4
Release 25.6.2012
Director Stephen Sommers
About Adventurer Rick O’Connell and Egyptologist Evelyn, along with a bunch of archaeologists, inadvertently wake up an evil mummy during an archaeological excavation at the ancient city of Hamunaptra.
Moon: full moon at around 20 minutes
Where to Watch: Own copy on DVD, but the franchise is currently available on Now Cinema
Trailer:

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The CGI in some places has not aged well. Particularly when it involves actors interacting with the ‘cursed’ sand and some forms of the Mummy.
For me personally, its about 30 minutes too long, especially when you consider its at least over the hour mark before the Mummy is discovered and the curse is invoked. I would perhaps remove our first introduction to Rick.

Treat

Brendan Fraser is perfect as Rick O’Connell. Not only does he have the persona of characters portrayed by Harrison Ford, he holds much more charm. Something that’s akin to older action stars like Errol Flynn.
This is not his breakout role, but it really is the first to break away from his typecast performance of an air-brain fish out of water, seen best in California Man, Air Heads and George of the Jungle. I can imagine this was a risk, but I’m so glad they gave him this chance.
Oded Fehr is an absolute joy to have in this film. He provides the wonderful narration at the beginning and is able to provide a perfect blend of serious and comic that never spills over into ham. My absolute favourite moment is what I can only describe as his impression of a dog hanging its head out of a car. The utter joy on his face upon flying is a delight.
Omid Djalili is a welcome, yet completely forgotten, addition the cast. As a man of Persian ancestry, he is a face you will be familiar with in many a film like this, including playing Sallah in the Indiana Jones franchise.
There’s something comforting about Djalili being in this film. Its a confidence of the performance that, for me, only comes with British acting.
The story is really good. I’d completely forgot how much I enjoyed this adventure and I think its largely to do with how Evelyn is presented in the film. She’s not a damsel, but a female trying to fight against the gender issues of her time. While I’m not a fan of Rachel Weisz, she is really well cast here.
The script is really clever. There’s a moment in which the second team looking for the treasure and their expert declares ‘A woman. What does she know?’ for the scene to cut to Evie explaining the structure of their findings to her group.
The horror and comedy elements are perfectly balanced to provide a watchable family horror.

Final Thoughts

Still a joy to watch and something I will always put on around this time of year, if not closer to Christmas.

Fight Night (2011) Halloween Advent Review

Rating 15
Length 1h46
Release 2.9.2011
Director Craig Gillespie
About When a nice new neighbor moves in next door, Charley discovers that he is an ancient vampire who preys on the community.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

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Ah, 2011! The height of of the 3D Hollywood cash-in. Some films, Pocahontas in Space comes to mind, used it well as part of a depth of field. Other, used it as a gimmick and set up certain parts for that ‘gotcha’ jump scare.
That second sort have not aged well. Fright Night is one of those gimmick type movies and you can tell. From blood splatter to thrown objects; they have this gloss to them that just makes them stick out like a sore thumb.
Anton Yelchin’s death in 2016 makes this a hard watch. That lad was such a beautiful talent, and while I’m grateful to have the roles that we have, it still really hurts to think how much of a tragedy losing him was.
Not 100% sold on Colin Farrell’s vampire, Jerry. Don’t get me wrong, he’s really good as a bad guy. Hell, he’s grand as the ambiguous guy. However, there’s something off and a little ‘try-hard’ about this performance. The best example I can give is when Jerry gets the pack of Bud from Charley. It feels like he would fit right at home in Twilight rather than this film.
The club scene really fucking pisses me off in today’s climate. There’s a girl being fireman lifted to a dark corner and she’s asking anyone who will listen to help, yet no one listens. Its fucked up, and what’s worse is that I can’t tell if its a commentary on society, thoughtlessness or a way to desensitise us to what we now call the ‘me too’ culture.

Treat

Anton Yelchin is perfect as the geek that blossomed. He’s got the girl and you can see how he got the girl, but he also was once friends with the losers and you can also see how that is possible.
There’s a balance that Yelchin is able to give in his performance; he is able to give the audience comedy, drama and horror without any one taking over.
He also proved with this film, among others, that he is capable of leading a film. I can’t help but wonder while watching Fright Night; how cool would his Spider-Man have been?
David Tennant. In 2011, I wasn’t too impressed with his potty mouth. To me, it was like putting Micky Mouse in Ted. I understood that it was perhaps a way to break from his child-friendly Dr Who persona, but that was exactly what I didn’t like about it.
Now, I fucking love the jaded, cursing bastard. I love the story arc we get and, much like his tenure as the keeper of the TARDIS keys, there’s the childlike joy along with the bitterness of someone who has seen pain. Only he can say fuck. A lot.
The decision to make Vincent Price a much younger expert, and a Vegas act, was really quite novel. This, along with a few other choice changes, allowed this remake to stand alone from the original.
I’m not quite sure what it is about the films of the early 2010s, but they have this sheen to them that wasn’t present in many movies before. I’m not really researched enough to discover if it is around the time things moved from celluloid to digital, but there’s something distinctly different that really draws me in.
Best example I can think of is the way in which the chase scene is filmed. The tracking of the camera within the car is dynamic yet strangely claustrophobic.#
The music is fantastic. Both the original soundtrack and the song choices. I was so convinced that it sampled the 1985 theme song that I’ve just had to pause in order to find out. While I can’t confirm, it certain does have a 1985 inspired vibe to it.

Final Thoughts

It’s a solid vampire entry, even if the big bad is so wooden I expected him to sparkle. While the CGI is passable, its let down by any attempt to pander to the 3D market.

Prisoners of the Ghostland (2021)

Rating 15
Length 1h43
Release 17.9.2021
Director Sion Sono
About In the treacherous frontier city of Samurai Town, a ruthless bank robber gets sprung from jail by a wealthy warlord whose adopted granddaughter has gone missing. He offers the prisoner his freedom in exchange for retrieving the runaway. Strapped into a leather suit that will self-destruct in five days, the bandit sets off on a journey to find the young woman — and his own path to redemption.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Online rental
Trailer:

The Good

Nic Cage is at his most bat-shit in this Escape from New York/ Mad Max mashup. I don’t know about anyone else, but if I’m watching a Nic Cage film I need to see him howling to the moon in a way only he can do.
It is a beautiful film. The aesthetics of East and West cultures colliding is nothing new, however the way in which they are consistently and visually at odds with each other somehow works.

The Bad

Sofia Boutella is wasted in the role. A third of the film she’s placed in unflattering geisha make-up and another third she’d left catatonic. You have this beautiful, well trained actress. Use that. Perhaps its due to last minute casting, but she is much better than the role she was given.

The Ugly

Its not quite coherent enough and is certainly more style over substance. Biggest problem for me is the number of flashbacks. It adds nothing to the story to have so many. Especially those scenes that revolve around the opening scene. Because the reveals in the flashbacks are so heavily implied anyway it just bloats the film.
It really does seem that the director is trying too hard to hide the inspirations behind the film. To the point that the story is lost completely. The characters are not ones you sympathise with, or get to know in any way beyond the superficial.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, if you press play and make it to the end; kudos.

Underwater (2020) Review

Rating 15
Length 1h35
Release 30.1.2020
Director William Eubank
About Norah and her team find themselves in a dangerous situation as they work at the bottom of the Mariana Trench and clash against an unidentified species.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Sky Movies
Trailer:

The Good

The cinematography, set design and editing is phenomenal. There’s plenty of clever edits that allow for a progression of plot.
John Gallager Jr should be in everything. I love him and his character in this is no exception. Why is he not in more things?
Music. Oh I absolutely loved the soundtrack, score and general sound of this film. It all adds to the claustrophobic atmosphere.
The Suits! While I have questions about their practicality, I just love the look and the bulk of them.

The Bad

There are themes within the film that are not fully developed and it really does mean that the story suffers as a result. The two big things being the Alice in Wonderland elements that creep in, but never really develop into the allegory they could.
The second is the Cthulhu Mythos. While some sources claim the whole story is based upon the Lovcraft writings, others claim that the creatures featured only took their form in post production.
There’s too many nods to Alien. To the point that it stops being a homage or Easter Egg and instead a straight out ripoff.

The Ugly

T J Millar. Obviously, he’s a dick. We all know he’s scum of the greatest proportions. However, the character is also a dick so he’s kind of perfect for the role.
Kristen Stewart’s portrayal is inconsistent, with the majority of her performance at best reflecting a bought of constipation, at worst a block of soggy wood.
I did notice that scenes in which her character reacts with multiple characters are much better than when the camera is solely focused on her. The less said about the Twilight flashback narration, the better.

Final Thoughts

Its a pale imitation of Alien and Aliens with nothing new to add.

Candyman (2021) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h31
Release 27.8.2021
Director Nina DaCosta
About In present day, a decade after the last of the Cabrini towers were torn down, Anthony and his partner move into a loft in the now gentrified Cabrini. A chance encounter with an old-timer exposes Anthony to the true story behind Candyman. Anxious to use these macabre details in his studio as fresh grist for paintings, he unknowingly opens a door to a complex past that unravels his own sanity and unleashes a terrifying wave of violence.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Playing in Cinemas now
Trailer:

The Good

The cinematography is absolutely stunning. Not only in of itself, but in the parallels from the original. Its artistic, its complimentary and its beautiful.
The shadow puppets used to tell the myth and legend of Candyman are perfect use of storytelling.
The story convincingly weaves in the narrative from the 1992 film, while ensuring those who come to this film without seeing the precursor won’t feel excluded. While a sequel, it does work as a stand-alone
The cast is diverse. Not only do we have a gay couple, we have an interracial gay couple. There is comments in reviews stating that it is only white people that are killed in this film. Well, I urge them to take a second watch.

The Bad

There’s a b-plot storyline surrounding the protagonist’s girlfriend; played beautifully by Teyonna Paris. The plot thread fits in really well and certainly gives the audience and opportunity to understand and sympathise with Brianna. However, its dropped as quickly as it was brought up. It’s almost as if a scene or two were cut and they would have made it more than this filler story.
I do find it odd that the one thing that didn’t carry over from the original, was the protagonist being arrested, or even questioned by the police. With all the clever parallels, it’s a shame this one was missed.

The Ugly

The reviews outside trying to say this is a racist movie. From “its too political” to “Only white people die”. God, you can just feel the white privilege oozing off the reviews. This movie is telling the same story that was told in 1992. Only bloody difference is that the protagonist was white and provided an almost smokescreen to viewers.
This *is* a political movie. It is a black movie, it always was. The story’s origins come from Liverpool and the class divide there. As soon as the story’s movie moved from the UK to USA, Chicago in particular, the race divide was much more acute. Gentrification in the USA was about race. However, it is still about class divide. Both then, and now. To boil it down and go ‘urg, too political’ does a disservice to everyone involved. Be honest, just say ‘it made me uncomfortable’ because that’s what you really mean.
The other aspect of ‘too political’, could perhaps be the final act in which the police shoot someone without due cause, much in the same way Candyman was imprisoned. Yes, it might hit home a little different in the wake of George Floyd. However, to think this ending was put in *because* of George Floyd shows you’re part of the problem. The protests, the outrage, the lingering memory of his name is not because he was an isolated incident but because it was so frequent.
The easiest way to put this argument to bed? This film was due for a June 2020 release. George Floyd was killed 25th May 2020. This film was wrapped and in the can way before then, so that ending was already filmed.

Final Thoughts

A little cleaner, much more clear cut than its direct predecessor. The final act, in the wake of George Floyd , may make some feel uncomfortable. Hell, some people will go so far as to say it’s ‘too political’. Well, isn’t that because you feel guilty? For me, that means this film has most definitely done its job.

Double Jeopardy (1999) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h45
Release 28.1.2000
Director Bruce Bereford
About A woman arrested for her husband’s murder is sentenced to six years imprisonment. After her release, she sets out to find her son and the truth about the murder as she suspects foul play.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

I’ve seen the trailer for this film about a million times, so to say that this film surprised me was a bit of an understatement. I’ve always thought that Tommy Lee Jones was the husband and the ferry car crash was how he ‘died’. There’s just something quite nice about being thrown off from the get go.
I really like Ashley Judd in this. Judd makes for a really sympathetic and strong leading lady.
Bruce Greenwood. He improves literally anything he’s in and I really do like that I’ve now seen him play a nasty role. He wears it well.

The Bad

The evolution of time isn’t very well structured. I know we get the cake, but I think I’d have liked a little more. Even something simple as removing the highlights from her hair.
I don’t get why there’s the insistence that her boy, Matty, doesn’t go to her parents when it’s the first person she goes to when she flees custody.
There’s a few other plot holes that I can’t think of right now, but because it’s not as fast paced as similar thrillers, they’re a little more obvious.

The Ugly

How laws work. The whole premise hangs on a law that the film interprets wrongly. Like, its a glaring flaw. There’s also this idea that her child is kidnapped. Yes, she’s given custody over, but is it not a little suspect?
This suffers with a similar fate at What Lies Beneath in the respect that the trailer and blurb reveal the ‘faked death’, while the film plays it as a reveal. It makes that opening scene heavy and hard work. In a film that’s not got much time to play with, it really didn’t need to spend that long building up to the ‘crime’. I guess there’s an attempt here to not be The Fugitive. However, the result is that the film loses some of its suspense. Netflix doesn’t help matters by having the reveal scene as it’s preview.

Final Thoughts

An enjoyable, if not heavily flawed, entry into the crime thriller that was popular in the 90s. It’s something I’d love to see a return of. Perhaps without the need to ignore the blatant plot holes.