Rating PG Length 1h 35 Release 19.2.2021 Director Lena Khan About Flora, a 10-year-old girl with an imaginative mind, rescues a squirrel and names him Ulysses. She soon discovers that Ulysses is blessed with superpowers which help them embark on various adventures.
The Good
This is a heart-warming story about family and superheroes. It takes on an origin story, of sorts, but provides the viewer with enough charm that even those fighting the superhero fatigue will be won over.
Danny Purdi is excellent as the “villainous” squirrel catcher. Community fans will love that he gets to provide some excellent physical movies references throughout the film.
The film made the absolutely right choice when not giving Ulysses a voice. It kept him cute and Grogu-like.
It has a belter soundtrack. Almost GotG-lite.
Allyson Hannigan and Ben. Schwartz were adorable together and apart. The fact that they both reduced me to tears is a testament to them, their ability to demonstrate the hardships of a relationship, individuality and creative blocks.
Matilda Lawler is one to watch. She 10 year old Flora a delight to watch and her narration was perfect. She’ll bring any kid watching onboard straight away.
The Bad
The CGI of both Ulysses and Mr Klaus is a little disappointing. While all the actors work well with the furballs, I just found them reminiscent of the early 2000 CGI; almost too glossy and separate from the rest of the visuals.
The Ugly
I did not like the development of the character William. The actor did a fine job with what he had to work with, but I just really didn’t like the gimmick of him being blind. I most certainly didn’t like the usage of the outdated term “hysterical blindness”. With a film that has the charm that this does, the jokes feel forced and painfully gross.
Final Thoughts
Its definitely a film for families and one those young at heart will enjoy too. There’s some nice Easter Eggs for comic book and film fans alike. Its certainly on my list to watch again.
Rating 25 Length 1h 28 Release 12.2.2021 Dir Kevin Lewis About When his car breaks down, a quiet loner agrees to clean an abandoned family fun center in exchange for repairs. He soon finds himself waging war against possessed animatronic mascots while trapped inside Willy’s Wonderland.
The Good
It’s chaotic and bonkers. It is Cabin in the Woods meets Jennifer’s Body by way of The Dead Don’t Die. It’s not going to everyone’s cup of tea but it is entertaining.
This film is chaotic, bonkers and the perfect vehicle for Nicolas Cage. This is gory, volatile type of horror that is more likely to make to chuckle or squirm than scream.
It’s not for everyone, but it feels like Cabin in the Woods (2011) meets Jennifer’s Body (2009) by way of The Dead Don’t Die (2019). So while its not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, if you like those movies this will be, at the very least, entertaining for you.
The lighting in this film (aside from the migraine inducing strobe) is incredible. I can’t put my finger on how it was done, but it adds light to the screen so you can see the action, without dulling the atmosphere.
The Bad
Nicolas Cage doesn’t speak. Now, he does a perfectly excellent job at presenting the character without words. That, I have no issue with. I just really missed Cage’s manic dialogue.
There are few really weird plot choices that are left unexplained. They just seem like plot devices and that’s a little disappointing.
The Ugly
The flashing/ strobe lighting that’s used at the beginning and partway through is nauseating. I totally understanding the artistic decision for it, however it detracts more than it adds.
With Nicolas Cage’s character mute, he’s not well rounded. It means we’re in the same position as the rest of the cast, but it has come at the expense of not investing in any of the characters.
Final Thoughts
It’s flawed (What Nic Cage project in the last decade isn’t), but well worth your time.
Rating: 18 Length: 1h 49 Release: 27.10.1989 Dir : Wes Craven About: A serial killer uses the electricity from the electric chair in which he was executed to return from the dead. Later, he sets out to exact revenge on a football player who turned him in.
The Good
The music is my absolute favourite part of this late 80s gorefest. It’s rock and ‘heavy metal’, and feels really ironic. I’m pretty certain that wasn’t the intent, but it certainly works much better here than in Christine (1983).
The final act is amazing, rather meta and absolutely bonkers. If anything, I wish everything that came before was more like this. The final act plays out like the love child of Ghost in the Machine and Last Action Hero. It’s this section that really does open the story up to Craven’s original intent: a tv series.
Johnathan Parker is our ‘final girl’ in Shocker. It’s a refreshing change of pace to have a male lead in this sort of genre movie and in the role of the ‘final girl’ no less. While some of the choices for this character aren’t perfect, and I’ll look at those below, he still offers something other than what viewers might be used to.
Mitch Pileggi playing the mass killer is mind boggling brilliance. Anyone who has seen him in X Files would be forgiven for not recognising the actor, however those familiar with his time on Supernatural will understand upon watching this, why he got the role.
The Bad
It’s not a smooth plot and each of the three acts feel like they are directed by three different directors. Between the dodgy audio, lack of subtitles on Amazon Prime and what I would say are questionable editing choices, I really did struggle when it came to following at some points. The biggest issue of course being the connection between Pinker and Johnathan. It was something I suspected, and something revealed in the movie. However, it was only upon reading up on the plot after the fact that I’d had it confirmed.
The conflict between Johnathan the ‘football star’ and Johnathan the goofball who knocked himself out at practice. I don’t get why he’s so goofy. This guy is meant to be so amazing, that his ‘football status’ is in many news reports throughout the film. That doesn’t mesh with this guy who walks into things and trips up on his own feet.
There’s a little too much overlap with Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street in terms of Johnathan having premonition type dreams about the killer. I’d have loved if instead these dreams revealed his past and his connection to Pinker, just to remove itself from deja vu.
The Ugly
The comedy element is a little in limbo for me. It’s too much and not enough at the same time. The film holds back, leaving the comedy a little lukewarm and slightly off kilter. While I welcome the comedy, I did want more.
Read any blurb on this movie and it boils it down to Pinker being dead and wreaking havoc. That, I must say, is the most enjoyable parts of this movie, however it ignores the fact that it takes almost half the film to get to that point. There’s so much build up and establishment of the character of Jonathan. For me, I’d have opened up at the point of execution and had more of a reveal to Johnathan.
Final Thoughts
It’s flawed, its a bit of a mess, but damn I love it. There are little bits I missed due to the quality, but that’s what a rewatch is for, right?!
Rating: 12A Length: 2h 31 Release: 16.12.2020 Dir: Patty Jenkins About: Wonder Woman navigates the 1980s, meets old friends and faces off against new enemies.
The Good
The film gets the 80s aesthetics right. The mall sequence was rather brilliant and not only something that is iconic of the 1980s, but iconic of 80s movies. This part of the film, out of everything, felt most like a homage to the original tv series.
Kristen Wiig really impressed me. While meek and goofy Barbra was well within Wiig’s wheelhouse, and reminiscent of her past roles in things like Paul and Ghostbusters, it was the evolution into Cheetah that shows much more depth and range. While she may be known more for her comedy, I definitely want to see her in more serious roles.
The Bad
Well, Hans Zimmer most definitely phoned this one in. His soundtrack feels so recycled that if I were to close my eyes at points in this movie, I’d have sworn I’d put on Inception.
While we’re on music, you place a film in the 1980s and don’t utilise the amazing catalogue the decade has to offer? Believe me, in a film that gives us Jafar after his final wish and Quantum Leap’s Sam, we need some cheesy 80s electric tunes.
The prologue in which we see young Diana back at home and facing off against other Amazonian warriors, is utterly pointless and has no payoff. It, for me, is at odds with the rest of the story. Plus its totally wrong. Diana didn’t cheat. It was a bullshit lesson that had microscopic links to the main plot.
The Ugly
You know the Sentence Game? It’s similar to Mad Libs, but there’s no crib sheet. First person writes a sentence based upon a prompt, folds the paper over so you can’t see what’s written and passes it on. This keeps happening until all the prompts are used and then someone reads the mess of a story out. That was this film. Only, I didn’t find it nearly as funny.
Steve! What the fuck man. Okay, great we get Chris Pine gracing our screens again. Whoop! At what cost? The sacrifice and loss from the first movie is compromised and, I’ll be honest, how he’s there in the first place feels really cheap. I was also very disappointed “Oh boy” wasn’t uttered. It also pisses me off that the guy whose body gets taken over gets more closure than Wiig’s Barbra. Seriously, what the fuck is it about the 1980s doing Barb dirty. People, What about Barb?
Second gripe about Steve. Once Steve is in play, it feels like such a retread of the first film. His reintroduction creates a limitation. It’s boring, its done. It also means that if he ‘dies’ again, I’m not caring. To be fair, this is where Marvel gets it wrong too. When you make your character deaths meaningless (looking at you Loki), I refuse to invest. Also, what the fuck is it with these Wonder Woman films getting the strong female wrong? In the first movie she emasculates. This one she becomes physically dependent on Steve. Blurk!
Why was it set in the 1980s if it was going to be sanitised of all the joy the 80s had to offer. Other than Pine’s fish out of water Schtick, it had no value. To me anyway. Yes, I get that there’s the whole plot in which Pascal’s Max is trying to gain ownership of oil, but this is not a commodity that’s exclusive to that decade. For me, the Suez Crisis of the 1950s is what I immediately think of when it comes to ‘historical oil’.
Final Thoughts
There are enough people out there loving this movie for you to make up your own mind, but for me it’s too long, too pointless and left me feeling grumpy. I wish I’d rewatched Chopping Mall(1986) instead.
About Political documentary filmmaker Michael Moore explores the circumstances that lead to the 1999 Columbine High School massacre and, more broadly, the proliferation of guns and the high homicide rate in America. In his trademark provocative fashion, Moore accosts Kmart corporate employees and pleads with them to stop selling bullets, investigates why Canada doesn’t have the same excessive rate of gun violence and questions actor Charlton Heston on his support of the National Rifle Association.
The Good
Well made and informative. It’s journalism in its truest form and pulls no punches. To that extent it certainly has a level of fair representation and at no point does Moore address the audience and give his opinion. Now, while it might be implied that he is anti-gun, its not said outright and I don’t feel like I’m having someone else’s opinion shoved down my throat. It gives you the freedom to make up your own mind.
The film looks at as many root causes to American violence and gun culture. The film looks at the social history, the political history and the culture of fear.
The Bad
I felt uncomfortable with some of the emotional manipulation of Columbine survivors, in particularly in regards to them arriving unannounced at a K-Mary head quarters. I believe it’s right to hold them accountable and the survivors have a right to be heard, but it feels a little exploitative to do it for a film.
Again, with Charlton Heston, I felt very uncomfortable with everything that is seen to happen after the interview is stopped. Again, he was an absolute knob. Holding a gun convention in a town days after a massacre is thoughtless and insensitive. To do it twice and, both times, refuse to relocate is barbaric. However, I did struggle with watching Moore follow him after leaving.
I found the run time a little too long to be affective when the narrative flow doesn’t feel as smooth as other documentary films out there.
The Ugly
How is it that the Columbine massacre was 20 years ago, yet there has been no governmental effort or change to ensure public places are safe for citizens? This event and Moore’s film should have been enough to legislate gun control.
The film was bold, it was brave and it made people think. I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who thought it would make a difference, so to watch it now it stirs up too much bitterness, too much frustration.
Final Thoughts
Irrespective of its flaws, this is a film that everyone needs to see. Not only that, I somewhat think its time for an updated follow up that looks into the rise of these incidents and the blind ignorance of the US and their flawed logic that guns are okay, but the kinder egg is dangerous enough to be illegal.
This was an Easter cinema trip for me and my mum in 1997. I’d wanted to see Men in Black, but mum refused point blank. The Lisa Kudrow film with the pinks and glitter would be more up her street, right?! Well, she took me and I enjoyed it. I remember her saying she regretted it, but I wasn’t certain why until rewatching it years later.
The Good
• It’s a cool, quirky and funny story that nearly everyone can relate to. It’s retro camp, styled beautifuly and the only thing that improves it, is going to an independent cinema and being handed a post-it by the boy behind.
• The sound track is fabulous. It’s that retro vibe that’s in right now. Hadn’t spotted it the millions of times before, but Whip It is played at the prom.
• Janeane Garoflo was the definition of angry sarcasm in the 90s and she steals any scene she’s in. Underused, as she is in many movies, but she’s certainly memorable and the film manages to give her a strong story arc that I prefer to the main two.
• Alan Cumming is a sweet, low key Hugh Grant in this. He’s able to switch from geek to chic with ease, but the perfect part is that he’s a likeable love interest. Perhaps rather unknown at the time, to me he was part of the High Life cabin crew and has forever remained a joy to watch.
• It’s as quotable as other 90s films, but the killer line comes after the quick outfit change. Who hasn’t wanted to bark Romy’s Line “and I don’t give a flying fuck what you think…” to their bully? It’s pure brilliance.
The Bad
• I still find that the dream sequence throws off the narrative. While it’s weird enough for me to like it in itself, as part of this film it’s very out there.
• The tone and it’s perceived target audience is totally off. It’s not the double entendre humour of Shrek; that ‘he’s making up for something’ that gets the parents chuckling, but a much more obvious humour that doesn’t altogether fit well with a film that could double with Clueless.
The Ugly
• That dance. It’s unbelievably cringe. As with the dream sequence, there are times when I watch and love it and its certainly what makes this film a cult classic, but it would never help Romy and Michele’s cause.
• Alan Cumming in the dream sequence is too ‘blow up doll’. It freaks me out and is as not, as Michele puts it, ‘dreamy’. I’d put it in with the same trope of the ‘ugly’ girl who just needs her glasses taken off to make her ‘hot’.
About: The Spy Who Dumped Me tells the story of Audrey (Kunis) and Morgan (McKinnon), two best friends who unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of the women discovers the boyfriend who dumped her was actually a spy.
The Good
The casting was ideal. Mila Kunis taking point as the dumped girlfriend was brilliant. Teaming her with Kate McKinnon was a stroke of genius and I’d love to see them work together in the future.
McKinnon, on the most part, was flawless. I’d say there were a few points where she missed the comedy mark, but when you’re the only person driving the humour; we can give her a pass. However, what this film has proven for me is that McKinnon (as much as i adore her) isn’t ready for a lead part. She has potential for a Melissa McCarthy type career path, if she can tone down her SNL persona and bring more of a Holtzman to the celluloid.
Sam Heughan is adorable once he works out the kinks and is much more comfortable. He’s again, someone who will be amazing in films in about a decade once he’s gotten his feet a little wetter in the industry.
The Bad
The best role Justin Theroux has ever done is in Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion. Why? Because he spends most of the movie silent. There’s nothing there for me. He’s the equivalent of the Silence in Dr Who; you forget about him existing once he’s off the screen. To amp up the comedy, you need to pull an Another Guys on this plot thread and (oh, sidebar: Sean Bean would have been perfect, if not a little old) either have the perfect action hero (Dwayne Johnson, Tom Cruise, Taron Edgerton) or the most moral, by the book and stuffy (Think Rimmer from Red Dwarf and Captain America have a love child).
The Ugly
The tone was slightly off and it was lacking proper comedy that wasn’t directly from Kate McKinnon’s performance. Instead, the film amped up the violence and I’m not certain it was the best move. McKinnon’s humour can come across one note if over played.
Final Thoughts
The film missed a trick too; the sting at the end was brilliant and a massive strength. Why couldn’t we have had a Private Benjamin type film going on?!
A review of the Joe Mazzello written and directed movie, Undrafted.
Time: 90mins About: When twelve ragtag teammates set out to play what should be a meaningless summer intramural baseball game, it ends up becoming the most important game of their lives. Director: Joe Mazzello Trailer:
So, you’ve been to the cinema a hundred times to see Bohemian Rhapsody, you’ve basked in the awesomeness of Rami Malek and you’ve realised Joe Mazzello has spent way too long off your movie radar?
Well, my friends… it’s not that the clone of John Deacon has been off our screens since his electrifying stint on Jurassic Park, it’s just that he’s moved away from staring roles (Star Kid, Simon Birch) like he did in the 90s. I’ll be going back and looking at his other roles over the next few weeks, but I need to start with a special film.
Undrafted is clearly a work of passion and something close to the heart of Joe Mazzello; it’s based upon his own brother, John, and the local baseball team where the Mazzello brothers grew up. There’s such a sincerity and heart from the moment it starts that its a must watch for anyone who was won over by Joe’s charm in the Queen biopic. Just be warned; you’ll be begging for his next directorial offering once you’ve finished.
Plot
Its a simple plot, but don’t let that fool you into thinking this is a sub-par movie. The focus and charm is not in the plot, but the characters. It’s a bottle film; everything centers around a single baseball game and the team’s disappointment that one of their own didn’t make the cut.
Maz should have been drafted; everyone on the team knows it and their frustration is tangible. Last thing they need is to play against another local team who are prepared to play dirty to win. While Maz is the catalyst and the character who develops the most throughout the film, he’s not the only one who will keep you focused.
It feels like Remember the Titans meets Little Rascals in all of the right ways. You can’t help but love this team of angry misfits. From Palacco’s entrance and British twang, to Pat Murray’s half-time meltdown, you really get to understand what being undrafted means to everyone.
When it comes down to it, this film is about family. It’s about overcoming defeat, picking yourself up and dusting yourself off before starting again. Maz’s final act is one of wonderful growth and true cinematic climax. It’s through this development that the group truly become a team.
Casting
Tyler Hoechlin plays pitcher Dells. One of the brilliant things about an independent movie like Undrafted is that you get to spot people from your favourite shows. Hoechlin can currently be seen flying in and out of the CWs Supergirl as Clark Kent and his alter ego. He’s wonderfully heavy hearted and I do feel there’s more to know about his character than what is seen in the 90 minutes.
Casting Jim Belushi as the Mazzello patriarch was a stroke of genius. He provides a warmth and a wisdom that brings heart to the film; the relationship he has with Aaron Tveit’s Maz is delightful to watch. Knowing Belushi is portraying someone real only adds to his presence on screen.
Joe Mazzello is a powerhouse on this film. Not only does he write and direct, the man also takes on the role of Murray too. It’s a role unlike any I’ve seen Mazzello play (aside from Presumed Innocent and Wooly Boys, I think I’ve seen them all). The meltdown Murray has and his monologue is raw, emotional and frighteningly empowering. I am ashamed to say, grown up Joe Mazzello swearing his way through 90 minutes of game play had me giggling. I grew up with this guy in some of my favourite films, having him curse had me laughing like one of the kids I teach when I’m telling them off.
Sports
The very fact that I like this film, gives a good indication of how well it was made. I don’t think I like sports. Other than Ice Hockey, I haven’t watched a full match. Any football match I watched with my boyfriend-at-the-time was laced with cocktails. Lots and lots of cocktails. As a kid, I didn’t ‘watch’ the match; I heard them on the radio. It sucked and sort of ruined football for me.
However, what I do love are movies about sports; Escape to Victory, The Wrestler, The Damned United, Rocky and Eddie the Eagle are the tip of the iceberg when it comes to sports movies. Undrafted is no exception. I am none the wiser about the rules of the game but, bloody hell, I think if I was to go to a match I’d be hooked.
Over to you:
What’s your favourite Joe role?
What do you think of BoRhap?
What’s your favourite sports movie?
Release date 11.4.18
SummaryPrimatologist Davis Okoye shares an unshakable bond with George, the extraordinarily intelligent gorilla who has been in his care since birth. But a rogue genetic experiment gone awry transforms this gentle ape into a raging monster. As these newly created monsters tear across North America, destroying everything in their path, Okoye teams with a discredited genetic engineer to secure an antidote, fighting his way through an ever-changing battlefield, not only to halt a global catastrophe but to save the fearsome creature that was once his friend. Time1hr 47
Trailer
The Good
This is a Dwayn ‘the Rock’ Johnson movie and I’ll hold my hands up here and now; there’s no wrong this man can do (sidebar: My dad calls him The Fairy because of The Toothfairy. When an actor or film gets a Dad Hunter pseudonym, that means they’re on the win list). With Johnson, so come some film expectations. There’s going to be fast paced action, quips and smouldering. There’s also an understanding that the plot will stretch reality to provide a fun plot and indeed it does provide. Bucket loads of it to the point that I’m not so sure we can really call it Science Fiction.
Johnson’s character works well with George, the CGI Gorilla saved from poachers during infancy and taught to sign (Yup, We verge into Congo territory. I’ll reassure you though; I think this one will be considered a little better). Some of the best scenes involved the two of them interacting. There’s heart and humour in their banter and it allows you to feel for them and root for their survival when the shit hits the atmosphere about 2 minutes later.
In addition we have Naomie Harris and Jeffery Dean Morgan helping Johnson ‘save’ his friend and Malin Akerman and Joe Manganeillo playing for the company that caused the mutations in the animals.
The Bad
It really is a shame that most of the film sees George and Johnson’s Davis separated. Not only that, but essentially on opposite sides. They truly do have amazing chemistry that no one else can come close to and it removes some of the natural humour. If the film could keep them together by tweaking the plot it would keep the comedic tone and not seem to be bookended by a separate movie.
The two outside sections have a lighter a tone and sees everyone in on the joke and having fun, however the bulk of the film takes itself a little too seriously.
The Ugly
The CGI is rather ropy and it’s worrying that I picked up on it the first viewing. Normally because it’s all new, I miss the little flaws and only catch them during a repeat viewing, usually at home. It means I wasn’t as engaged in the story as I normally would have been and that could be because of many factors; one being the lack of feeling for the characters.
Cinema offences
A new segment for my reviews. I’m going to list the problems with the cinema going experience as it is something I think we all face issues with.
Viewing date/time: 12.4.2018/ 11.40 showing (Odeon Uxbridge) Fullness: Quite a busy showing for early in the morning. That said, there couldn’t have been more than 40 people.
Late comers (5 minutes or more into a movie): 4 people in 2 separate groups Phones (Texting/games/checking the time. Essentially anytime I see/am distracted by the glow of a phone):0 Talking: 3 separate groups, all persistent.
Oh this was a big one today. Fresh off the back of my annoyance from The Quiet Place I think my patience had already warn thin. However, it was people in the row right behind me and it was persistent; like a running commentary on a DVD. Imagine my horror, when I turn around to bollocks the tween triplets I’d mentally given three chance to are not in fact three kids, but a mum and her two sons. Instead of telling her kids to stop, she was engaging them in conversation. I was rather reserved, for me; I politely asked them to stop talking. Well, my dear readers, I might as well have taken a dump right there on her lap based on the look she gave me. All I heard was ‘don’t listen to her’ from the mother and I’d had enough. Premiere seats be damned, I got up and moved to one of the nice seats; I figured Odeon owed me this for allowing this sort of behaviour to become the norm (Disclaimer: It’s not an Odeon problem, the is a all-franchise epidemic. Seriously, this woman will have spent at least £25 on tickets. Alone. I’m sure she’d jacked her kids up on sugar too and when a ‘kids pack’ starts at £4.50, surly just setting fire to your money would be better?! Or at least buy a dvd, rent one from Sky and then let them chatter away to their hearts content at home.
About
Simon Spier keeps a huge secret from his family, his friends, and all of his classmates: he’s gay. When that secret is threatened, Simon must face everyone and come to terms with his identity.
Trailer
The Good
Where to start?! It’s a wonderful cast, a charming love story with an Indie tone and a message for everyone. The humour is on point and comes at the right time to alleviate the heaviness that some of the plotlines could bring to the movie.
Both Jennifer Garner and Josh Duhamel are perfection as Simon’s parents. The weight of Jack’s (Duhamel) comments during Simon’s upbringing leave a broken man for part of the movie. It’s a refreshing change when he finally opens up and talks to his son.
Gah! We got Kid Flash. Who wouldn’t love seeing Keiynan Lonsdale outside of the Speedster CW show? It was wonderful seeing someone who is openly gay in real life play a supporting role within this movie.
The Bad
How is it, in this day and age, that this movie is considered ground breaking. That’s no reflection of the movie, but of society. This movie should not be ‘brave’ or ‘monumental’; this should be judged on its ability to stand up to other teen movies such as Perks of Being a Wallflower or even Mean Girls (It does, by the way). It’s just a shame that the movie is being lost because of the challenges it brings to social thinking.
I also struggled with Katherine Langford as best friend Leah. It’s not her fault, but I still see her as Hannah from 13 Reasons Why and I hate Hannah. I’m waiting for a role that will break the spell of her being a little typecast. Unfortunately, this wasn’t it.
The Ugly
Tears. Oh wow! I cried like a bitch. There are your typical teen moments that have an emotional tug, but there is just one scene involving Simon and his Mom that will melt even the coldest of hearts. The group behind me, who had very annoyingly talked all the way through the movie, had a bit of a discussion about wanting a mother like that.
I think there’s some truth to that. No matter who you are; if you’re a member of the LGBTQ community or just a supporter, you will certainly be able to empathise and agree that her stance is not liberal or LGBTQ specific. It’s something all parents should aspire to and something most (if not all) people want; acceptance and respect.