Rating 12 Length 2h19 Release 01.02.2024 Director Matthew Vaughn About Reclusive author Elly Conway writes best-selling espionage novels about a secret agent named Argylle who’s on a mission to unravel a global spy syndicate. However, when the plots of her books start to mirror the covert actions of a real-life spy organization, the line between fiction and reality begin to blur. Moon: full moon seen Where to Watch: Apple TV and Cinemas nationwide Trailer:
The Good
There are hints of the style that makes Matthew Vaughn’s work successful.
Bryce Dallas Howard, as much as I don’t think she’s right for the role, she is awesome for refusing to lose weight. She’s still skinny, but by society’s standards and n0t Holloywoods. It is refreshing.
The Bad
Henry Cavill’s hair.
I get the film was going for a Long Kiss Goodnight, however Bryce Dallas Howard was miscast. She doesn’t give a believable performance out side of the meek and anxiety-ridden Elly. Then, when you consider the City of Angels (play, not film) duel fictions versus reality plot that exists alongside the aforementioned Long Kiss Goodnight? The film is clunky as fuck.
The POV shots that include the person blinking. Nope, nope, nope! So fucking annoying and saying that it was over used is an understatement.
The Ugly
The CGI and green screen is too obvious. The cat, Alfie, that should have been a cute addition that steals all of the scenes was instead computer generated and lifeless. In addition to this, the London Bakunin flat and the crude oil showdown both have irregular perspectives along with dodgy as hell Greenscreen.
You have Bryan fucking Cranston, Catherine O’Hara and Sam Rockwell, yet none of the comedy lands. Everyone is wasted in what is a garbage script and Vaughns’s recycled set pieces and greatest hits of plot points, irrespective of them working or not.
Final Thoughts
I wanted to love this film. I tried so hard to stay invested.
Rating 15 Length 1h41 Release 01.03.2024 Director Zelda Williams About A misunderstood teenager and a reanimated Victorian corpse embark on a murderous journey together to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts. Moon: Clip of the full moon from Un Chien Andalou (1929) is seen on the tv and the moon is painted on Lisa’s wall. Where to Watch: Cinema now Trailer:
The Good
The 80s is the shit right now in movies. From Totally Killer to the worldwide favourite Stranger Things, audiences can’t quite get enough. This one is not only set in 1989, it heavily draws inspiration from Heathers and Edward Scissorhand for it’s tone and palate.
Kathryn Newton is most definitely one to watch. Even from her early performances in Supernatural I knew she would be able to carry a film with ease. Yes, audiences are in for a bit of a clunky start but once she starts her experiments with ‘The Creature’, and she’s able to have fun with her character you can see why she was picked.
The film completes the 80s feel with Ted Wheeler from Stranger Things by being Ted here too! Yes, the actor has a name that most definitely isn’t Ted Wheeler, but he will forever be Ted “What did I do?” Wheeler to me.
The horror aspect is genius. I love the decisions behind who is killed and it really is refreshing to be watching from the killer’s perspective.
The Bad
Cole Sprouse does a pretty decent job and I initially placed him under ‘good’. However, I couldn’t help but wish this was made even 5 years ago and we could have had Matthew Gray Gubler in the role.
The Ugly
The pace is a little too slow and clunky at the start to set up Lisa’s temperament. I really do wish the film hadn’t bothered with a serial killer and not bring it back again. Particularly when we could have easily had a ‘I myself am strange and unusual’ Lydia without the backstory. That way we remove some of the fat from the opening and start at the party.
Even when Newton and Sprouse are able to let loose and have fun, it’s almost like it’s stuck in second gear and screeching along. It’s aiming for the dark comedy of Freaky, Totally Killer and Its a Wonderful Knife but the script lacks the laughs. Add to that the opening attempted rape and the death of a parent and the tone is too set to bring it back.
Final Thoughts
It has a Heathers meets Edward Scissorhands by way of Warm Bodies vibe and is very much channeling the ‘lets make the 80s nostalgic’ that is so popular at the moment, however it doesn’t quite live up to what the trailer offers. Had it not taken itself so seriously and played on Newton’s experience in Freaky, it might have been a better film.
Rating 12 Length 1h37 Release 05.06.1998 Director Florian Seller About Anthony suffers from dementia and is cared for by his daughter, Anne. But when Anne decides to move to Paris and Anthony must deal with this change, he finds himself losing his grip on reality. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: 4OD Trailer:
The Good
Anthony Hopkins is incredible. He gets the temperament on point in every scene and allows us to follow what is a complicated narrative thread. The final scene brings together a climax that the film painstakingly builds towards from the first moment. No one else would have been able to carry this film as he did.
The very thing that makes this a difficult watch, will ensure it’s regarded highly for decades to come. The presentation of an almost non-linear narrative, multiple actors playing the same characters. All of it gives what I can only imagine is an authentic, realistic, presentation of what it must feel like to be loosing your memory.
The script is crisp and clear. It is what helps the audience follow the story and piece together what is and isn’t reality. Without that script and carefully seeded anchors, the audience would be lost and unable to see beyond the scope of Anthony’s condition.
The Bad
I found the story thread of the daughter leaving for Paris hard not to react to. Perhaps my own experience and sacrifice for my father makes me a little angry. I get it, you really shouldn’t put your life on hold however I find myself not really understanding the men in Anne’s life and why they would not be more understanding of the situation.
The Ugly
It is a hard film to watch from the outset. The topic is heartbreaking, and I’ve never had the experience of watching a loved one losing their memory. At least not in the way it’s presented in this film. My father had issues with his memory, but it wasn’t dementia; his was from oxygen deprivation as a result of COPD and so he never lost the sense of who he was. I cannot imagine this fill being cathartic for those who have had to endure an experience like this and being the emotional sponge that I am; I found it hard not to feel it deeply.
Final Thoughts
Not a film I intend to watch again. Incredibly well made, but a little too painful to watch.
The Great Dramatic Motion Picture That Puts YOU In Every Scene!
Rating U Length 2h44 Release 01.11.1962 Director John Ford/ Henry Hathaway/ George Marshall About Three great Western directors, combined forces with an all-star cast to create this magnificent panorama of how the American West was won – and lost. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer Trailer:
The Good
The 3 strip Cinerama process that gives this film the panoramic perspective allows for some breathtaking scenes and individual images. There’s a depth of field that I would compare to Avatar. It’s not often I would want screen grabs on my walls, but this film had many.
The cast is incredible. Like Infinity War/ Endgame level of casting for the modern view who perhaps wouldn’t know the faces or names that populate this film. I could wax lyrical about all of them, but I will point out two specifically: Debbie Reynolds and George Peppard. Reynolds is someone I’ve only seen on screen in her later life. To see her here, is to see the roots of Carrie Fisher’s performances. As Lilith, Reynolds portrays her through the decades without fault. She has incredible chemistry with everyone she acts alongside and she carries the second segment beautifully, stealing every scene even when iconic Gregory Peck is there. George Peppard, a name I knew but could not place until I looked him up after the film, not only gives a strong performance, he is able to portray the son of James Stewart’s Linus with an accuracy that not many could achieve.
The narration between segments is a clever way of marking the change in director, time frame and focus character. It keeps the audience with the film at times when other films could lose them.
The Bad
I’m happy with the running time, but I also wonder if this could have been a series of films. I’m happy enough that the Native Americans are not portrayed in a negative light, however the film perhaps would have benefited from more time and focus from their perspective. Something I think only splitting this into individual films could achieve.
It pains me to say this because I adore the man, but James Stewart was entirely wrong and much too old for the role of Linus. Yes, he does a good enough job with what he’s given, but it’s really disappointing to watch.
The Ugly
The 3 strip Cinema process, while incredibly beautiful, took its toll by the end. In the final two sections particularly, there was clear lines showing where the three strips are originally joined together. There are also certain scenes, particularly when there’s a singular moving image, where the background is distorted. It doesn’t ruin the film, however certainly for me it caused a headache by the end of the film. The distortion, in a similar way to when a film is dubbed, it causes eye strain. I’m unsure, but I would say this would be reduced by watching on a curved screen which is the format it was made for.
Final Thoughts
I actually have no words for how good this film was. It never felt over long or boring. It’s not only I’ll rush to watch again, but I’ll certainly watch again it at some point.
Rating U Length 1h31 Release 15.12.1995 Director Chris Noonan About Babe, an orphaned pig, learns to herd sheep after Arthur Hoggett, a farmer, wins him in a contest at a country fair. However, Rex, Hoggett’s lead sheepdog, doesn’t like Babe. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Channel 4 Trailer:
The Good
James Cromwell excels in everything he’s in. That’s not even a question. However, he is the only reason why I rewatched this at all. His dialogue is minimal, yet even without speaking you get a lot about his character and his feelings towards Babe, or ‘Pig’ as he’s known to the ‘Boss’.
The episodic storytelling, and the story overall, is really uplifting. The changing opinions of certain animals about others, the triumph of Babe as a Sheep-Pig… it’s heartwarming shit.
The Bad
This, despite its U rating and cute animal focus, is not a kids movie. It’s too dark in tone and themes to truly be a film that is for children that adults can appreciate. There’s a lot of death; implied and near misses. I got the overwhelming sense that Maa was going to die but I couldn’t remember how. I most definitely didn’t remember the opening scene preparing the pigs for the abetoir.
The biggest plot hole for me is that ‘the Boss’ believed, even for one moment, that Babe killed Maa! Yes, pigs have the potential to eat their own and are know to eat small animals… but to kill a sheep the way the dogs do?! Come on Boss, you are better than that.
The Ugly
I hate the mouths. I had nightmares about the mouths. I get they had to have some movement there, but it’s unnatural and in someplace almost looks like human mouths superimposed onto the animals. Really distressing and not helped by the fact that my dad really enjoyed to watch this movie.
Might sound rather cynical but this time I felt like it was anti-meat propaganda. Being a “kid’s” film, I can imagine many a child refusing to eat bacon for a decent amount of time after watching this, and that’s only from the opening scene.
Rating PG Length 1h46 Release 05.06.1998 Director Robert Hammer About When Louis D’Ascoyne Mazzini, who hails from a royal family, is denied dukedom, he plans to kill all the potential threats in his way. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: Channel 4 Trailer:
The Good
The story is brilliant in a deliciously dark and comedic way. Yes, it uses the typical bookend narration to frame the story but in this case it works quite well first seeing the protagonist imprisoned, to then see the story of how he found himself there unfold. It also provides a wonderful sting to the end of the film.
The technical skill of having all of the D’Ascoyne family played by Alec Guinness. Today audiences are familiar with the table scene within the Nutty Professor in which Eddie Murphy does fat suits and plays most of the Klump family through use of CGI. However, in Kind Hearts, this will have been completed through camera trickery and it really works.
This film truly gives an idea of the acting range Alec Guinness has. Each character of the D’Ascoyne family is distinctly crafted and performed. My favourite has to be the priest.
The Bad
It’s rather slow to get going, given that it goes right back to the start of Louis’ life. I wonder if there was a quicker way to cover this. Not that it wasn’t interesting, but more because I really would have loved to have spent more time with the individual D’Ascoynes.
The Ugly
The women in this film are not very nice. Edith is rather brash and overbearing, while Sibella truly should have been one of Louis’ targets. Yes, it makes for a compelling story, but by god I disliked her.
when life is at its finest…when love is at its fullest…
Rating PG Length 1h49 Release 12.03.1981 Director Mark Rydell About After Chelsea leaves Billy, her fiance’s son, with her parents, she returns to find a friendship bloom between Billy and Norman, her father. Shocked, she reassesses her relationship with her father. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: ITV X Trailer:
The Good
The film, much like others adapted from theatre plays, has incredible dialogue. Yes, the visuals are as good, however it would work just as well performed as a radio play.
Katherine Hepburn, Henry and Jane Fonda not only work well individually, but they work off each other and the chemistry, and animosity, billows off the screen.
I have to give this film credit; it really surprised me. I thought I’d predicted the end. I was so certain of it that I was on edge for the entire film. It was only in the last scene did the film show me that I can sometimes be wrong with my predictions.
The relationship between Norman and Billy Ray Jnr is beautiful and heartwarming. From the exchange “I turned 13 two weeks ago”/ “We’re practically twins” I was sold on where this film was going.
The Bad
The set up of the young boy staying with the elderly couple does not feel authentic. Yes, I just go with it and suspend my belief because the film is so good. For me it was only afterwards and reflecting upon it did I feel that it was the last place Chelsea and her fiancee would ask for help; particularly seeing the damage Norman had done to Chelsea and her happiness.
The Ugly
I found myself shouting at the screen at times. Not necessarily the film, but the character of Edith and her dismissal of Chelsea’s experience really hit home and angered me. I think it is a generational thing; for some wives to berate their children and defend their partner’s actions. The film goes so far as to have Edith treat Billy Ray Jnr in the same way. Instead of acknowledging Norman sundowning as part of his declining memory, she makes the issue about Billy Ray taking it too personally. It won’t bother people who don’t share Chelsea’s experience and the difficulty in healing, however for some it will make for a difficult viewing.
Also, Niagara Falls! I sobbed like a bitch.
Final Thoughts
I absolutely need to watch this again. If for nothing else, to watch without the anticipation of what I was predicting.
Rating U Length 1h32 Release 21.10.2016 Director Mike Mitchell About When the Bergens kidnap a group of trolls, Poppy, the troll princess, goes to their rescue all alone and is soon joined by Branch in her mission. Moon: Full moon seen frequently in the first half of the movie Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer Trailer:
The Good
Anna Kendrick has that ability of playing both sides; the super super happy and the darker sarcastic gal. I would never have wanted anyone other than her in the role of Poppy.
I really quite liked the Bridget and King Gristle Jnr romance storyline and how it fits in with the main Bergens versus Trolls story.
It’s relatively short, so while it’s painful… it doesn’t last long.
The Bad
Why does Hollywood insist on making Russell Brand and James Cordon a thing? Course, RB is finally blacklisted it would seem, but Cordon?! You made him Peter Fucking Rabbit! Both of their voices make my skin crawl.
It’s a fucking musical! Oh my god, there’s one thing to be super duper happy people… but to have them SING about it?! Yes, good song choices. Kudos on the reworkings, but did it have to be so many songs?
The Ugly
The first act is just way too sickly sweet and sugar filled toxic positivity. There’s just something about it that really makes me yak. I get that it contrasts nicely with the Berkens, but that only works if your audience stays with you. Of course, when your audience is in single, or early double, digits there’s a good chance the adults don’t get a choice. Man, I feel for you all. I really do.
Final Thoughts
Will I watch this again; fuck no! Will I hate watch the other two for some completist compulsion? Alas, yes!
Walk into the incredible true experience of Billy Hayes, and bring all the courage you can!
Rating 18 Length 1h37 Release 10.08.1978 Director Alan Parker About Billy, an American caught smuggling drugs, is prosecuted and jailed in Turkey for four years. When his sentence is increased to 30 years, Billy, along with other inmates, makes a plan to escape. Trigger warnings: attempted rape, animal death, drug abuse. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: ITVX Trailer:
The Good
Never in a million years did I think I would be saying this, but Randy Quaid! Dude knocked it out the park. Perhaps I’d written him off as a comedy goofball, but, but his performance is really refreshing.
It really does give food for thought. Yes, the conditions and treatment may have been exaggerated, however we do know that arrests and capital punish happen around the world for what we would consider misdemeanours. By presenting a ‘based on’ reflective film, it keeps that dialogue and conversation at the forefront of all politics. The aim is not to allow people to go free, but ensure that the punishment is humane and gives an opportunity for rehabilitation.
John Hurt gives a performance one would expect of him and from all accounts, he really went to great lengths for an authentic performance.
The Bad
It’s hard to place this here, given that the film won an Oscar for it, but I have an issue with the music. It’s a well crafted score, however it doesn’t fit this film. The synth heavy music would be at home in any SciFi of the time but as it stands, it clashes with the visuals.
I found Billy to be a rather unsympathetic character. No one deserves the treatment he gets in the prison; that is what human rights are for. However, in terms of him being a criminal, there’s no defending him. He’s clearly from an upper economic social background, so his reasoning of ‘I needed the money’ is galling. Then consider the opening and closing scenes. He’s really shit at not being sus! He might as well have had ‘I’m smuggling drugs’ tattoo’d on his forehead. Then, when he thinks he’s in the clear, Billy grabs his girlfriend’s boob; something that is also punishable in Turkey. Entering into the final act, Billy firstly begs his girlfriend to undress and I found that most disturbing of all. That after being caught in the system, he would put her at risk to masturbate. Horrific. Finally, what disappointed me most of all is that upon escape and facing an oncoming vehicle, Billy’s body curls in. The body language screams ‘I’m an escapee’ and I don’t understand how he’s not caught. While I’m sure freedom is the overall story arc, for Billy it should have been that ability of being able to carry himself in a way that enables/ earns his freedom. It really is a shame.
This film had Mark Hamill wanting to audition. In the words of Julia Roberts, the studio denying that opportunity? ‘big mistake, huge.’ I guess all Hamill was really known for at the time was Star Wars, but playing Billy, or even Jimmy would have allowed Hollywood to see the versatility that we know Hamill is capable of decades earlier.
The Ugly
The violence is brutal, unrelenting and inhumane. It comes from all directions; inmates and guards. It’s a struggle to watch and the scenes will churn even the strongest of stomachs. Then there is also the animal abuse and the attempted/ implied rape that add to the brutality of this film. While it’s stated by many after its release that this representation was exaggerated, you cannot deny that this sort of punishment does exist in the world.
By extension, the representation of Turkey in this film is problematic. The real like Billy, the director of the movie and screenwriter, and up and coming Oliver Stone, have all since apologised. With so many apologise, it’s a wonder how much better this film would have been if only they paused to consider the optics.
Final Thoughts
Incredibly well made, but I will never watch it again.
Rating U Length 1h56 Release 28.06.1948 Director David Lean About The famed orphan gets caught up in Fagin’s criminal band while searching for familial love. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: ITVX and Youtube Trailer:
The Good
Once again, David Lean nails the opening. The sound, the intimacy and the heartbreak. So many foundational plot points are set up here and I don’t think I’ve noticed before.
John Howard Davies as the titular Oliver is incredible considering he is the one carrying the film. Davies is able to balance the innocence and vulnerability with a tenacity with no hesitation to defend himself when necessary.
The Bad
Where’s the songs?! I’m not a musical gal, but I do love the 1968 adaptation and the songs by Lionel Bart. I found myself humming ‘Food Glorious Food’, ‘I’d do Anything’ and ‘Consider Yourself’ during the appropriate parts. I’d say I love every single song of that musical, except for ‘Where is love?’. I hadn’t actually realised how much the music added to the film until watching this one without.
Perhaps I watched this a little too close to Great Expectations, but Dickens had a format and a habit of weaving his story with a twist ending or reveal. In the case of these two stories; they both reveal paternal connections to younger characters. In this case, it’s not as smooth though and all feels a little too contrived.
The Ugly
This is one Alec Guinness performance I cannot gush about and is largely to do with the prosthetics used in order to portray the character of Fagin as Jewish. Recently, Bradley Cooper faced criticism for his use of prosthetics to his nose in order to portray composer, Leonard Bernstein. All reasoned arguments were made for both sides and the argument the film made was that it was because Cooper was portraying a real life figure and the facial changes were simply done to allow Cooper to look more like the person he was playing. I’m still not certain where I stand with Maestro, but I do know there is a history of anti-semitic imagery within movies: even Harry Potter has the Goblin Bankers coded as Jewish in such a underhanded way.
It was quite upsetting to see that a villainous fictional character was given what I can only describe as a cartoonish ‘Jewish’ nose; almost too big for Alec Guinness’ face. It’s an overwhelming feeling watching it from 2024, but when you then consider the time in which this film was made, you have to wonder what was going through the film maker’s mind. In a film that is as well made as Great Expectations, this artistic choice ruins the film and prevents an audience from really taking in Alec Guinness’ performance.
Final Thoughts
Never thought I’d say this, but the Musical is better.
Rating 12 Length 1h52 Release 05.06.1998 Director Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr. About New student Cady Heron gets welcomed into the top of the social food chain by an elite group of popular girls called the Plastics, ruled by the conniving queen bee Regina George. However, when Cady makes the major misstep of falling for Regina’s ex-boyfriend, she soon finds herself caught in their crosshairs. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: In cinemas Trailer:
The Good
I love that it gave a full swing and not only presented its own story, but a sweet homage to the original. It’s not a straight retread with added singing.
Most of the songs work for me. They suit the tone of the film and having some of them appear as tiktoks is a genius move.
I love Angourie Rice. She really gives us a very different Cady, but also a different character to what Rice has presented before. She’s showing that she can lead a film. I just cannot wait to see where she goes in her career.
The Bad
As much as this film is its own thing, they do recycle a *lot* of lines. Okay, it’s a quotable film but I do wish this had been given the chance to come up with its own.
The Ugly
It’s not often a film makes me feel old. This one does. The fact that the original is old enough to have a remake depresses the shit out of me. Could we not have waited 10 more years?
Final Thoughts
I enjoyed it as a Musical. As a reboot, it does take a swing to be different but spends too much time reminding you of the original to really be successful.
“Let’s love tonight,” they said, “There may be no tomorrow!”
Rating PG Length 1h30 Release 08.12.1932 Director Frank Borage About An American ambulance driver in the Italian forces falls in love with an English Red Cross nurse and their relationship is tested by WWI and stressful circumstances. Moon: no moon sighting Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer Trailer:
The Good
The sets are really beautiful and while the close ups have that hazy look to them, but the wide and mid shots are okay and well framed.
There are transition scenes; the location or passage of time in which the film expresses some whimsy. Seeing the smoke of the train write out Milan was adorable.
There’s a section, not long after we’re informed that Frederic is in Milan that we get a section of pov shots. It’s quite a moving way of establishing Frederic being in a hospital. They’re really quite effective only being able to see the ceiling as he’s wheeled to his room, faces voices answering his questions.
The Bad
I know it will be reflective of the time, but the admonishment of Catherine and Frederic’s conversation about children in their future. How the fuck do you have a successful and healthy relationship without talking about such things before marriage?! Yes, okay, society was very different then and it was a religious imperative for family life to take place within a marriage. However, it just really hit me as a really toxic and sure-fire way of having a really unhappy couple.
Helen Hayes may have given a strong performance in terms of character and emotions, however her accent is appalling. There’s scenes where she gives up completely.
The war time montage with only a musical score was really hard to follow. Slightly too quick edits in fast succession. Slowing it down and adding some dialogue would have just filled in the gap.
The Ugly
This film has been edited and cut up to a detrimental effect. Not the director’s fault, but more a reflection of the time and the introduction of the Hays Code. They are harsh and rushed cuts that are obvious to anyone who watches.
I get the sense that the romantic thread is only part of the original story. The war was almost a backdrop to the romance instead of an integral part of who they all were and the decisions they made. The film could have demonstrated the action of war a little more.
Final Thoughts
A decent film for the time in which it was made. I would love to see the original cut of it as the way it stands, its a little too rough and choppy.
The Queens of Geekdom 