Category: 2024

Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire (2024)

They’re back to thaw things out

Rating 12
Length 1h56
Release 22.03.2024
Director Doug Lyman
About The Spengler family returns to the iconic New York City firehouse where the original Ghostbusters have taken ghost-busting to the next level. When the discovery of an ancient artefact unleashes an evil force, Ghostbusters new and old must unite to protect their home and save the world from a second ice age.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Cinemas Nationwide
Trailer:

The Good

Love the Trevor ‘tude. Finn Wolfhard really has that ‘I’m 18 so I want to be treated like an adult’ done to a comedic fine art and his story arc with Slimer is quite cool and there is a great pay off to it.

As much as I was worried about it, I’m actually quite happy we returned to New York and, even though we are back, this film offers us something different.

Paul Rudd truly is the gift that keeps on giving with this franchise. His paternal role and the conflict of not quite being part of the family is so beautifully handled from the moment he introduces himself as Phoebe’s ‘step-teacher’.

Lars and the new digs! Oh I love them both. Lars gives us a new Egon and the newly developed site blows the franchise wide open in terms of concepts. I also must admit that the final act also resets a lot. Almost akin to Arkham being destroyed.

The Bad

Getting Podcast and Lucky to New York was a tad heavy handed and while the film has a place for Podcast, I’m not sure it knows what to do with Lucky. The other aspect is that both characters are ‘discovered’ to be in New York for the summer, rather than the Spengler family knowing they were there.
In addition to this, the connection between Lucky and Trevor is non existent. In fact, I think they spend one scene together?!

I want more Lars Pinfield. James Acaster, being of a similar age and dry humour, is living my dream of being a Ghostbuster. Plus he’s hot, in that British way that was made prominent by Anthony Stewart Head in Buffy.
So, to say that we needed more, I mean it. He’s introduced and utilises impeccably well, for the most part. However, when it came to the final act, it was almost as if there were too many characters to handle and he just disappears, only to return in the closing moments.
It’s a shame, because he really is a great addition to cast. I truly do hope they take the franchise in the direction rumoured and he gets to head up a UK branch.

The Ugly

Melody, or rather the actress, being 16 is completely unbelievable. I know it is about her connection with Phoebe however, it would have been better to have gotten a younger actress or made the character a little older.
As it stands, it’s a little reminiscent of Shirley Henderson playing Potter first year Moaning Myrtle.

Final Thoughts

I loved it. I don’t understand the hate and I will most definitely be rewatching this.

Road House (2024)

Take it Outside

Rating 15
Length 2h01
Release 21.03.2024
Director Doug Lyman
About Ex-UFC fighter Dalton takes a job as a bouncer at a Florida Keys roadhouse, only to discover that this paradise is not all it seems.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

There’s a few funny scenes as a result of Jake Gyllenhall’s blend of violence and zen. If you do watch, just wait for Kokomo! Best scene in the movie.

Jake Gyllenhall, while not my cup of tea (My inner AJ Rimmer will not let me swoon on someone that buff), he does have that smile and charm to hold the film… for five or so minutes.

The Bad

The plot is lazy and stupid.

The Ugly

The filming is nauseating when it comes to the fight sequences, of which there are many. This film has a massive stiffy for Hardcore Henry (2015) so any time Dalton puts up his dukes, we get all POV with our cameras. It is horrific and the fact that it opens with a POV shot, with dodgy CGI arms belonging to one Post Malone means I’m checked out straight away.

Conor McGregor. I cannot explain how bonkers his performance is. From his Terminator-esque opening to his manical smile, I didn’t know whether to laugh or bleach my eyeballs.

Final Thoughts

Ouch! And that’s not for all the punches.

Firestarter (2022) Film Review

If you get on her bad side…YOU’RE TOAST.

Rating 18
Length 1h34
Release 13.05.2022
Director Keith Thomas
About After years in hiding from mysterious DSL, Charlie’s reemerging pyrokenisis threatens the life Andy and Vicky have built for their family.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

Zac Efron has his top of for a split gratuitous second.

The Bad

The homage to Stranger Things. Just as the film is about to reach its final act, Charlie finds herself in a suburban estate and bullied by boys on bikes. This would only work if these boys were the ones from her class.
There’s no way boys like that, upon seeing a girl who has clearly been through something, shout freak and what not at her. Not unless they know her. Which, to imply that, you’d use the kids from before.
So to do this to resemble a show that took it’s inspiration from the 1984 version and the original novel by Stephen King, feels not only cheap but an attempt to draw in the fandom.

The Ugly

The biggest mistake the creators made with this outing is winding back the clock and starting the story with the McGee’s as a family unit. The beauty of the original and the novel is that we start on an uneven footing by being throwing into the middle of the story and partway along Andy and Charlie’s journey on the run.
Yes, it’s interesting to see the family unit, but it doesn’t add to the story and if anything it slows the pace down to a crawl. It also makes for such a bullshit ending: Charlie is left to go with her hired assassin who just so happened to kill her mother not so long ago!

Ryan Keira Armstrong, as much as I hate saying this, is woefully miscast. It’s a hard job for any youngster to be the protagonist of a film, but when it’s a character like Charlie you really need someone like McKenna Grace or Dakota Fanning.
As it stands, we have 90 minutes of Armstrong pulling ‘Edward meeting Bella’ face.

Final Thoughts

This film is inspiring no one and holds nothing that makes the original, or Stranger Things for that matter, great. Avoid. Rewatch ST, read the novel or dig out the original.

Irish Wish (2024) Film Review

Be Careful Who You Wish For

Rating 12
Length 1h31
Release 15.03.2024
Director Janeen Damian
About When the love of her life gets engaged to her friend, Maddie puts her feelings aside to be a bridesmaid at their wedding in Ireland. Days before the wedding, Maddie makes a spontaneous wish for true love, only to wake up as the bride-to-be.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

Ed Speleers. I’m so sorry I overlooked your dashing looks and charm in the third season of Picard. It was Todd Stashwick, you understand?!
Open apology over with, it’s good to have him as one part of the meet-cute. He’s everything you would expect of a romantic lead.

It is a rom-com by numbers. It requires no thought and it does manage to leave you warm and fuzzy. Lyndsey Lohan may not have the effortless charm that allowed her to win over box offices in the naughts, but she still holds her own and gives a convincing growth to her character.

Dawn Bradfield steals the film as Saint Bigid, who grants Maddie’s wish and kicks off the main part of the film. Much like Puck in Midsummer Night’s Dream, Bradfield causes chaos with such joy, it’s hard not to wish she was in the film a little more.

The Bad

It just all seemed very messy for a rom-com by numbers. It takes a little too long to get to the ‘switch’ and by then, the sparks are already flying between Maddie and James that you wonder if there was another way of plotting this.

The Ugly

It makes one fatal flaw that will prevent this from being up there with some of the best. The third in the triangle *can* be a douche, there’s no problem with that. However, you cannot really have him be a douche and still let him get the happy ending that he does.
By having smarmy Paul marrying one of the lead’s best friends as part of the set up really makes the ending shitty when he’s not seen for who he really is.
The addition of Jane Seymour in just a disconnected role doesn’t help matters

Final Thoughts

Messy, but requires no effort. A charming film, but not a classic.

Madame Web (2024)

Her web connects them all

Rating 12
Length 1h54
Release 14.02.2024
Director S.J Clarkson
About Cassandra Webb is a New York City paramedic who starts to show signs of clairvoyance. Forced to confront revelations about her past, she must protect three young women from a mysterious adversary who wants them dead.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Still in cinemas
Trailer:

The Good

I love the trio. The film has so much more life to it when the film focuses on them and it would have improved things greatly had they been the focus from the first act.

We have a film in which Ben Parker lives! Not only that, but he’s played by the wonderful Adam Scott (I’ve learned to love the Scott since watching Parks and Rec). Honestly, I’m loving that this is who Tom Holland’s Peter got to grow up with. I’m also loving that we, for once, didn’t have the heartbreak of his death and what that then triggers.

The Bad

You cast Emma Roberts and do absolutely nothing with her?! What a waste. I would have cast her as Cassie.

It’s just a mess of a film that isn’t quite so bad it swings around to being funny good again. In what could have been a homage to Buffy, with Cassie as the trio’s watcher, the film instead goes for an origin story of way too many characters. You should know you’ve fucked up when you reuse your opening 5 minutes about halfway through.
The creators really make the mistake of having Cassie as the main character, when she’s the Professor X. Not a very likeable one at that.

No post-credit scene having Os-Corp picking up the spider from Ezekiel’s apartment? Connecting those dots.

The Ugly

The editing is shockingly bad. Particularly when it came to the action sequences and the movements of the bad guy. Now, it didn’t make the movie worse as such, but it certainly did give me a headache and what I can only describe as sea sickness.

The script is garbage. Such garbage, that AI could have done a better job. From epic bad lines like ‘Who flips off an ambulance?’ in case we hadn’t spotted that going down to the WAY too soon ‘you’ve never been shot in Queens?’ as a clunky foreshadowing to how Ben leaves the MCU. Like seriously, this is the only time Uncle Ben makes it to the credit roll, and you still feel the need to remind us?!

What was the motivation of the bad guy again? He was trying to kill the girl’s who he thought would kill him. hmmmmm? Wasn’t a bad guy before he got his powers that prompted the premonition? Why was he motivated in the beginning?

Final Thoughts

Just… no!

Ricky Stanicky (2024)

He’s the best friend they never had.

Rating 15
Length 1h53
Release 05.06.1998
Director Peter Farrelly
About Twenty years after creating the imaginary Ricky Stanicky, three childhood friends still use the nonexistent pal as a handy alibi for their immature behavior. When their spouses and partners get suspicious and demand to finally meet him, the guilty trio decides to hire washed-up actor Rod to bring him to life. However, when Rod takes his role of a lifetime a little too far, they begin to wish they never invented Ricky in the first place.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

John Cena is at his best when he’s playing a dumb, but kind hearted, whatever this character is. Without him, I possibly wouldn’t have watched this film and I have to give him points for all the impersonations.

The film has a comedic blend of Hangover, Tag and Hall Pass. I would say that this actually lands the ending, despite the cynical set up and the relentless effort they make not to get caught, the film really does manage to give an uplifting ending.

The Bad

I really struggle with films based on a lie. Yes it is funny as the billows out of control, but it then questions the integrity of the characters and how those that lie get away with it for so long. Also, my ADHD brain always knows when someone is lying and it’s really quite hard to see the lengths people go to, and the indignation they have when you don’t in fact believe them. Safe to say, these boys would not get this past me at all.
By extension, I hate Leona. She’s a bitch. However, the fact that the film goes to great lengths to make us think she’s a bitch *because* she doesn’t believe the boys truly sucks.

The Ugly

As with many other films like this, some of the things done to rid the main character(s) of their self created problem are a little too harsh. As the film passes that line, it makes what is meant to be a rather sympathetic, yet out of his depth, character really unlikeable.
How Cena’s Ricky is treated, while funny, inches too far to the nasty side. I’m not sure if that’s down to the innocence of Ricky or the ruthlessness of Zac Efron, but it doesn’t sit as well as it should.

Final Thoughts

John Cena steals the show and it’s a good switch off your brain and enjoy the ride.

The Beekeeper (2024) Film Review

Expose the corruption. Protect the hive.

Rating 15
Length 1h45
Release 12.01.2024
Director David Ayer
About One man’s brutal campaign for vengeance takes on national stakes after it’s revealed he’s a former operative of a powerful and clandestine organization known as Beekeepers.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Sky Now
Trailer:

The Good

It’s John Wick, with Statham and bees. What is not to love? Seriously, you only need to have seen one Statham fronted action and you will know what you’re getting. It could have gone full out serious, and you probably would have noticed the bullshit plot much more, but in keeping it a little camp and cheeky you’re sold and there for the ride.
The key to this is obviously Statham. While he’s a lad’s lad, he also embraces the cheeky and camp.

The action is on point. It’s ruthless, it’s chocked full of puns as the body count is dropped and it never over does it with what the film shows; leaving some of the darker notes implied.

Emmy Raver-Lampman carries the FBI investigation well. There’s enough given to the character to understand her motivations and actions. In fact, she’s so good that I would have enjoyed a film told solely from her perspective and I very much look forward to seeing her in whatever comes next.

The Bad

The plot was fucking bonkers. Yes, you won’t care because the film’s action is good enough but oh my god, a rigged presidential campaign and a corrupt as fuck son, but until a BEEKEEPER is pulled out of retirement this all goes unchallenged.
I personally could have done without the president who just distracted me with having my brain constantly go ‘That’s Kate Lethbridge-Sewart’ *insert Leo meme here*

The Ugly

There’s some well dodge accents going on throughout the film, Jason Statham included. It is not just that they’re bad, it’s that the ones that are bad are inconsistent. I know there was an attempt to address Statham, but in a weird way that’s what made it worse.

Final Thoughts

It truly is John Wick with bees.

Damsel (2024) Film Review with Spoilers

This is not a fairytale.

Rating 12
Length 1h37
Release 05.06.1998
Director Frank Coraci
About A young woman agrees to marry a handsome prince — only to discover it was all a trap. She is thrown into a cave with a fire-breathing dragon and must rely solely on her wits and will to survive.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

Shohreh Aghdashloo is the Alan Rickman of female voices. It’s hypnotic and enchanting, so it’s no surprise that she is the perfect choice for the dragon. Yes, each time she speaks you will be fearful. However you will also wonder why anyone puts up a fight.
Speaking of which, the design of the dragon is incredible. It’s clearly CGI, but because of the design you won’t mind so much.

Buttercup is all grown up and on the dark side. I know people who watched House of Cards know that Robin Wright is no stranger to the questionable side of morality, however seeing her return to the genre that made her an icon. Her talent is seen when she goes toe to toe with Angela Bassett

The Bad

The character of Elodie. Millie Bobby Brown does an incredible job with the what the script and story gives her to work with and there’s no questioning her acting ability. However, the problem is that the character is not given much to do outside of hiding, screaming and crying.
Even the things that they do give her, appear only as and when the plot calls for it. For example, towards the end of the film Elodie is shown to be inventive yet despite plenty of opportunity to show this in the opening act, they film doesn’t sew those initial seeds.

The Ugly

The massive fucking plot hole of the girls being of royal descent and the pretence of marriage. The big problem being that this is all hanging on the fact that the dragon they’re being sacrificed to has great fucking smell.
Or rather, she doesn’t?!
Is the film trying to say there’s some transubstantiation that takes place during the marriage that makes Elodie’s blood ‘royal’, or is that so they’re technically not lying when they make their offering?
Is it really just the palming off of a squidge of blood that convinces the dragon?! Even long after Elodie’s bled from other wounds that will clearly be her own? That dragon is not that stupid, that’s not how blood works and surely words going to get around that they’re holding multiple weddings?!
Get to the talk sooner, have the dragon wake the fuck up and realise she’s being conned and then have the third act be them working together instead of what becomes a quick wrap up.

Final Thoughts

Excellent cast, but a garbage script. It’s worth a watch, but it won’t be making anyone’s regular viewing cycle.

Argylle (2024) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 2h19
Release 01.02.2024
Director Matthew Vaughn
About Reclusive author Elly Conway writes best-selling espionage novels about a secret agent named Argylle who’s on a mission to unravel a global spy syndicate. However, when the plots of her books start to mirror the covert actions of a real-life spy organization, the line between fiction and reality begin to blur.
Moon: full moon seen
Where to Watch: Apple TV and Cinemas nationwide
Trailer:

The Good

There are hints of the style that makes Matthew Vaughn’s work successful.

Bryce Dallas Howard, as much as I don’t think she’s right for the role, she is awesome for refusing to lose weight. She’s still skinny, but by society’s standards and n0t Holloywoods. It is refreshing.

The Bad

Henry Cavill’s hair.

I get the film was going for a Long Kiss Goodnight, however Bryce Dallas Howard was miscast. She doesn’t give a believable performance out side of the meek and anxiety-ridden Elly.
Then, when you consider the City of Angels (play, not film) duel fictions versus reality plot that exists alongside the aforementioned Long Kiss Goodnight? The film is clunky as fuck.

The POV shots that include the person blinking. Nope, nope, nope! So fucking annoying and saying that it was over used is an understatement.

The Ugly

The CGI and green screen is too obvious. The cat, Alfie, that should have been a cute addition that steals all of the scenes was instead computer generated and lifeless.
In addition to this, the London Bakunin flat and the crude oil showdown both have irregular perspectives along with dodgy as hell Greenscreen.

You have Bryan fucking Cranston, Catherine O’Hara and Sam Rockwell, yet none of the comedy lands. Everyone is wasted in what is a garbage script and Vaughns’s recycled set pieces and greatest hits of plot points, irrespective of them working or not.

Final Thoughts

I wanted to love this film. I tried so hard to stay invested.

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

She’s slaying. He’s decaying.

Rating 15
Length 1h41
Release 01.03.2024
Director Zelda Williams
About A misunderstood teenager and a reanimated Victorian corpse embark on a murderous journey together to find love, happiness, and a few missing body parts.
Moon: Clip of the full moon from Un Chien Andalou (1929) is seen on the tv and the moon is painted on Lisa’s wall.
Where to Watch: Cinema now
Trailer:

The Good

The 80s is the shit right now in movies. From Totally Killer to the worldwide favourite Stranger Things, audiences can’t quite get enough. This one is not only set in 1989, it heavily draws inspiration from Heathers and Edward Scissorhand for it’s tone and palate.

Kathryn Newton is most definitely one to watch. Even from her early performances in Supernatural I knew she would be able to carry a film with ease. Yes, audiences are in for a bit of a clunky start but once she starts her experiments with ‘The Creature’, and she’s able to have fun with her character you can see why she was picked.

The film completes the 80s feel with Ted Wheeler from Stranger Things by being Ted here too! Yes, the actor has a name that most definitely isn’t Ted Wheeler, but he will forever be Ted “What did I do?” Wheeler to me.

The horror aspect is genius. I love the decisions behind who is killed and it really is refreshing to be watching from the killer’s perspective.

The Bad

Cole Sprouse does a pretty decent job and I initially placed him under ‘good’. However, I couldn’t help but wish this was made even 5 years ago and we could have had Matthew Gray Gubler in the role.

The Ugly

The pace is a little too slow and clunky at the start to set up Lisa’s temperament. I really do wish the film hadn’t bothered with a serial killer and not bring it back again. Particularly when we could have easily had a ‘I myself am strange and unusual’ Lydia without the backstory. That way we remove some of the fat from the opening and start at the party.

Even when Newton and Sprouse are able to let loose and have fun, it’s almost like it’s stuck in second gear and screeching along. It’s aiming for the dark comedy of Freaky, Totally Killer and Its a Wonderful Knife but the script lacks the laughs. Add to that the opening attempted rape and the death of a parent and the tone is too set to bring it back.

Final Thoughts

It has a Heathers meets Edward Scissorhands by way of Warm Bodies vibe and is very much channeling the ‘lets make the 80s nostalgic’ that is so popular at the moment, however it doesn’t quite live up to what the trailer offers.
Had it not taken itself so seriously and played on Newton’s experience in Freaky, it might have been a better film.

Mean Girls (2024)

Plastic is forever.

Rating 12
Length 1h52
Release 05.06.1998
Director Samantha Jayne and Arturo Perez Jr.
About New student Cady Heron gets welcomed into the top of the social food chain by an elite group of popular girls called the Plastics, ruled by the conniving queen bee Regina George. However, when Cady makes the major misstep of falling for Regina’s ex-boyfriend, she soon finds herself caught in their crosshairs.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: In cinemas
Trailer:

The Good

I love that it gave a full swing and not only presented its own story, but a sweet homage to the original. It’s not a straight retread with added singing.

Most of the songs work for me. They suit the tone of the film and having some of them appear as tiktoks is a genius move.

I love Angourie Rice. She really gives us a very different Cady, but also a different character to what Rice has presented before. She’s showing that she can lead a film. I just cannot wait to see where she goes in her career.

The Bad

As much as this film is its own thing, they do recycle a *lot* of lines. Okay, it’s a quotable film but I do wish this had been given the chance to come up with its own.

The Ugly

It’s not often a film makes me feel old. This one does. The fact that the original is old enough to have a remake depresses the shit out of me. Could we not have waited 10 more years?

Final Thoughts

I enjoyed it as a Musical. As a reboot, it does take a swing to be different but spends too much time reminding you of the original to really be successful.

Upgraded (2024)

You’ve been upgraded!

Rating 15
Length 1h44
Release 09.02.2024
Director Carlson Young
About An aspiring art intern is invited on a last-minute work trip to London, where she meets a handsome stranger.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime Exclusive
Trailer:

The Good

Riverdale alum Camila Mendes proves yet again she’s lead material by following high school rom-com love letter to Clueless (Do Revenge) with a rom-com of a more grown up affair. She’s born for the rom-com and has easy chemistry with everyone.
She also provides the audience with a charming, hard-working, character who you want to root for.

Anthony Stewart Head, a man who had my heart from the moment he slammed that book down in front of Buffy in Sunnydale’s Library. It’s safe to say that he is a wonderful addition to anything in which he’s in (and I mean that! audiobook, tv, film and even theatre).
This is no exception. Head plays a scene-stealing artist that is able to see Ana for who she is.

The film follows a trusted romantic story arc, without delving into the darker side of what essentially boils down to fraud, and it doesn’t mind diverting itself away from some of the more obvious choices.

The Bad

I would have like to have had both Ana and William have more friends around them. Yes, Ana has her work friend who is great, but she’s only ever used to move the plot along.
There’s no way William, with that upbringing and parties, doesn’t have a group of friends who would cheer him on, or thwart his romance.

The Ugly

The ugly step-sister trope.
Yup, utterly stunning assistants; rotten to the fucking core! They’re panto-level horrible and I’d love to replace them with something a little more nuanced. Or subtle.

Final Thoughts

A pretty decent, and much needed, rom com with a lead who will hopefully give us many more over the coming years.