Category: Movie reviews

Sideways (2004) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 2h02
Release 28.01.2004
Director Alexander Payne
About A middle-aged Miles is a budding writer while his friend Jack is a soon-to-be married actor. They take a road trip through Santa Ynez Valley wine country in order to celebrate his bachelor party.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney+
Trailer:

The Good

It is a really well made film; the scenes are well paced and cinematography is stunning. The cast is incredible and there are some delightful scenes that do make me want to visit “win country”.

Thomas Hayden Church, as always has an excellent presence and this is no exception. Despite the fact that I hate everything about his character, I cannot fault his performance.

The Bad

The jazz music is too “elevator music” to fit the film. I love jazz, but it’s it pulling for attention rather than complimenting the movie. It’s weird; this is now the second Oscar nominated film in which I want to change out the score completely.

Gag warning. There’s a scene in which one character drinks from the spit bucket. Jesus, just no! There’s only one other film that had me this close to throwing up and that was one of the Saw movies.

The Ugly

I detest both men and so I find myself not giving a single fuck about either of their stories. Miles is a miserable dick whose pretentious views about wine has me so angry that I don’t know enough to challenge him.
Then Jack?! It shows how shitty he is, that the film manages to make me hate Thomas Hayden Church and that takes an extraordinary feat. However, using the stage week to first of all land the blowing news that Miles’ ex wife is newly married and invited to the upcoming wedding of Jack’s. Then, the whole purpose of this time away for Jack is to cheat on his fiancee. The character is almost coded as a younger man for the emotional immaturity.
It is a story that clashes so much with my own morality that I cannot enjoy the story itself. Other people might not have that problem, but I was very happy for it to be over.

Final Thoughts

A well made film, but will most likely leaving you feeling hollow. Unless of course you drink when they drink and then you won’t remember how shitty these men are.

Bonnie and Clyde (1967) Film Review

Rating 18
Length 1h51
Release 08.09.1967
Director Arthur Penn
About When Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow meet, they get attracted to each other. Together, they choose the path of crime to earn easy money. But they refuse to hurt people while going about their business.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: BBC Player
Trailer:

The Good

I was hooked from the very start until that heart wrenching, yet inevitable, final scene. The chemistry between Dunaway and Beatty is undeniable and they do really bring the iconic Bonnie and Clyde to life.

Considering when was this was made, the film presents some ground breaking imagery and representation. The first murder on screen by Beatty’s Clyde, while tame by today’s movie standards, is quite vivid. There’s no edit between the firing of the gun and the sight of blood; it’s incredibly well filmed and would take any audience member by surprise.

The ending is on a par with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969), or perhaps even the inspiration behind the highly stylised ending for the Redford and Newman fronted film.
Slow motion certainly is something that is overused today, but combined here with the alternative views and speeds, it. really is effective for representing the last moments of their lives.

The Bad

I’m sorry to say this, but how did Estelle Parsons win the Oscar for her support performance?! It’s all screaming and … well if you’ve seen The War of the Worlds (2005) and you remember Dakota Fanning’s scream-y performance. It’s like that, but so much more annoying.
Yes, the characterisation is a deliberate contrast to Dunaway’s Bonnie, but did it really have to go that far?

The Ugly

I’m certain that at the time of release, the original score would have been considered amazing. However, due to the potential over use of the banjo and it specifically being used to provide levity and a satirical tone, the music really clashes with the narrative.

Final Thoughts

A very well made film, with an excellent cast and It’s one of those that you have watch at least once in your life. Give it an updated score that you can listen to without smirking, and I’d agree with many that it is a masterpiece.

Next Goal Wins (2023) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h44
Release 26.12.2023
Director Taika Waititi
About With the 2014 World Cup qualifiers approaching, down-on-his-luck coach Thomas Rongen tries to turn the American Samoa soccer team into winners.
Moon: Full moon during the “nightcap” scene
Where to Watch: Still in cinemas
Trailer:

The Good

Yes, it’s a little plot by numbers, as underdog stories go. But that’s what makes them so good. Plus, you have to give it at least a bit of a pass; it’s based on a true story.

I adore the humour. I always have. It’s that odd, make a declaration that seems to be an absolute, then list the exceptions. Of which there tends to be many. For example “America Samoa skin is impenetrable. Unless you have something sharp. Scissors, a knife, a pin. You know anything that has a really sharp point.”
It’s like a Waititi Dad joke and I adore it, especially when you pair it with the dead pan accent of Waititi; or most of the cast of Next Goal Wins.

Kaimana is incredible as transitioning player Jaiyah. I was concerned that the topic of having a trans woman on the team was going to be approached in a heavy handed manner, particularly when one of the first scenes has Fassbender’s Rongen deadname her, repeatedly.
However, what develops is a beautiful education of the coach, and perhaps the audience too, and one of my favourite relationships of the film almost becomes the focus of the film. I would have loved to have seen a little more, but given that this is a football film I’m going to let go.

The Bad

At first I thought perhaps it was the accent, but it is actually that fucking fake assed beard that Fassbender is made to wear for the opening act. Maybe it’s the blondness of it that really makes it look fake, but I really could have done without it and I was very grateful for it’s departure upon his arrival to the island.

The Ugly

Niagara Falls warning – as with many underdog movies, this one will tug on your heartstrings and reaching for the tissues. You know, if you have a heart.

Final Thoughts

This is essentially Mighty Ducks does football, with Waititi’s brand of humour. I personally love it, but some might not.

The Marvels (2023) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h45
Release 10.11.2023
Director Nia DaCosta
About Carol Danvers, aka Captain Marvel, has reclaimed her identity from the tyrannical Kree and taken revenge on the Supreme Intelligence. However, unintended consequences see her shouldering the burden of a destabilized universe. When her duties send her to an anomalous wormhole linked to a Kree revolutionary, her powers become entangled with two other superheroes to form the Marvels.
Moon: moon(s) sighted
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime for rental
Trailer:

The Good

The best part of The Marvels is Iman Vellani, reprising her role as Ms Marvel from the Disney+ show of the same name. She’s identifiable, not only as a fan of The Avengers, but as teen with an overbearing, yet loving, family.
I adored her flawed character, I enjoyed watching her grow in confidence and her interaction with her family and whatever organisation Fury belongs to now.
One of my favourite parts came towards the middle of the film; Kamala, upon facing the genocide of the remaining Skrull and the harshness of Captain Marvel’s apparent apathy suddenly realises she’s not in her fan fiction. The expression Kamala gives is so very telling and said much more than pages of dialogue.

Goooooooooooose! I love Goose (in your face whoever said Goose would be dead in Endgame) and they really played on the cat behaviour and Flerken elements this film. I loved it all. Every single second of Goose.
Then they went and elevated it with one of my favourite Star Trek treatments: They did Trouble with Tribbles! Seriously could have watched a film set just on that station. In fact, I really wish they’d leaned into the Trek a little bit more.

Fury, and Samuel L Jackson by extension, brings the humour just by being himself. His interactions with the three leads and, in particular, Kamala’s family are the perfect tone to brings some levity into what is rather angst-ridden proceedings.

The Bad

Why so much angst?! Captain Marvel is very angry, but doesn’t pull it off in the way Fury does. She’s almost akin to The Doctor (Who) but the character hasn’t got the balance quite right yet. While The Doctor also comes with some heavy baggage, every incarnation has always balanced it with a brightness and a joy and Captain Marvel needs that. There is an attempt, but it needs to be more. Kamala was the perfect opportunity for it and it was missed.

The Ugly

It is very clunky both in terms of a film within a blooming universe and how this film, and its story, is presented to the audience. It’s not so much that you need to have seen the tv shows, or even any previous film featuring Captain Marvel. The issue is that the reminders come a little too late and I’m certain “yeah, thanks. Figured that out now and if you wouldn’t mind filling me in on what I missed while I worked on it?!”

Another example of clunky, that actually does link in to the Disney+ shows. I *think* this comes after Fury fronted Secret Invasion, however the presence of the Skull and Fury without factoring in the fallout everything that transpired?! While I don’t expect it to be fed in to the story in a way that alienates those who choose not to watch, it’s also should feel like the film is a retcon of a show. They should compliment each other, elevate. However, more work on the script is needed for that to happen.

What a waste of Zawe Ashton! The actions and motivations of Dar-Benn are so utterly shit and mind-numbingly dumb that there was no real danger to be felt.
It appears that Dar-Benn has two missions; revenge and saving her planet. Thirty years is a rather long time to come up with a plan that achieves …. both?
Don’t know about anyone else, but save first, revenge later?! It just doesn’t make sense; they’re clearly advanced technology wise and there’s no reason to hate the people she’s prepared to destroy. It’s like an inconsistent triad of motivation.

Final Thoughts

Oh there’s lots to enjoy, but it fails for the same reason many Marvel movies do post-Endgame: not enough time is being spent on the script or the overall plan within the franchise.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) Film Review

Rating 18
Length 1h32
Release 03.12.1982
Director Amy Heckerling
About Driven by their fickle wits, a group of youngsters find themselves entangled in a web of sex, drugs, validation and dejection.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Now TV
Trailer:

The Good

As with many other high school films, the soundtrack is incredible. It’s of its time and also somewhat timeless. I can imagine this being a sought after album at the time of release and there’s certainly a few songs going to be added to my playlist.

The plot, while a generic “year of”, covers an incredible amount of ground. Judge Reinhold and Sean Penn give us two examples of success, or lack there of. Rat and Demone give us the emotional conflict of changing friendships. Finally we have Stacy and Linda, our empowered women.
Stacy’s abortion storyline, is handled well. Yes, more could have been made of it: we know this from the existence of Juno (2009) and The Cider House Rules (1999) but it being present without any judgement from characters is quite powerful.

The Bad

I think there needed to be more visual prompts to aid with the passage of time. The Christmas marker was good, but I think it needed a little more to prevent it from feeling like a very leisurely amble. While there’s a risk of it feeling episodic, I think it would be worth the risk and it could have been sectioned into “lessons” or “terms” perhaps.

The Ugly

I cannot quite put my finger on what is missing, but there’s something that prevents this from being elevated to the level of Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You and Dirty Dancing. Perhaps it’s that it’s a little before its time in term of expressing feminism or it could be that this film walked so that many others run. By which I mean I spent a lot of the time distracted by identifying films this one would go on to influence; Clueless, Big and Ted’s many Journeys, Pineapple Express. Just to name a few.

Final Thoughts

I really enjoyed this to see this films legacy, but it was also quite fun to see the impact this had on Stranger Things; not only in the literal sense, but in the visual aspects.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 (2022)

Rating PG
Length 2h02
Release 01.04.2022
Director Jeff Fowler
About After settling in Green Hills, Sonic is eager to prove that he has what it takes to be a true hero. His test comes when Dr. Robotnik returns with a new partner, Knuckles, in search of a mystical emerald that has the power to destroy civilizations. Sonic teams up with his own sidekick, Tails, and together they embark on a globe-trotting journey to find the emerald before it falls into the wrong hands.
Moon: moons seen while Robotnik is on Mushroom Planet
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

I absolutely loved the all human “project catfish” b-plot. The obvious being the addition of Criminal Minds’ Shemar Moore as the groom at the destination wedding, but it’s also the ladies: Tina Sumpter and Natasha Rothwell going up against the government with Tail’s tech. I kind of wish there was more to this.

Jim Carrey is having just as much fun this time around and he is almost a complete delight to have in this instalment.

The dad-joke puns are awesome and plentiful in this outing.

The Bad

Sonic spends too much time with other CGI creatures and begging the question; did this really need to be live action? While my favourite parts involve the humans, those scenes don’t overly contribute to the main “plot”

The Ugly

No kids film should exceed the 1h 40 mark.

You have the beautiful Idris Elba cast. You have the potential to have him alongside the equally stunning Shemar Moore, and you make him CGI?! Are you actually kidding me? Talk about a tease!
I all seriousness though, Elba was criminally wasted.

Final Thoughts

Too long and, to quote Jim Carrey’s Dr, too derivative. Not one I’m going to rush to watch again and I really feel for any parent’s out there potentially having to watch this on a loop.

The Hurt Locker (2008) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 2h11
Release 28.08.2008
Director Kathryn Bigelow
About Sergeant William James is tasked with leading a bomb disposal team during the Iraq War. But his ideologies and reckless approach towards the job gives rise to conflicts with his subordinates.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Now TV
Trailer:

The Good

The film’s documentary style cinematography is such a brave choice. It feels like a nod to Third Cinema and allows the film to develop an intimate and raw presentation. What I do admire, is that while taking on the style of a documentary it does manage to establish itself as a work of fiction. It also manages to not feel like a propoganda film, like those made in the UK and US during WWII and Vietnam respectively.

The casting is on point. Not only in terms of our leads, but those lose too. From a Drew Barrymore moment early on, to a mid film rug pull… everyone is expendable and it keeps the audience on edge.
Jeremy Renner provides such a well rounded performance. The dangerous, maverick and the vulnerable father clash and compliment each other in a way other actors could never present with any authenticity. You knowing he shouldn’t be there, yet also knowing his skills are incredible means that your heart will be in your mouth for most of the action.

The Bad

There are few parts I struggled to follow. I think the British representatives were mercenaries rather than military. If that’s the case, were they on the same side? The British also seem to just disappear and leave the US team pinned down and in danger. Would that happen?
By extension, would a military team be as small as three men as it is shown here? I accept that they’re specialist, however for the very reason of the lack of teamwork and shift in working relationships, I would imagine a team would be much bigger and working on rotation to support the much bigger platoons?!
I think I would have benefitted from a little hand holding here. What would normally take place in the “redeployment” scene that does not take place is where I would gain most of this information but I do wish the film had taken the time to redistribute and provide context for those of us without a working knowledge of military life.

The Ugly

This film, intentional or not, shows the damage of warfare on soldiers and what I see as poor management decisions that are taken without consideration of consequence. It’s the most horrific part of the story; the team became as volatile as any of the explosives they attempt to neutralise and you have at least two members who are not in a mentally stable condition to be in that environment.
We don’t see the decisions being made, we don’t get the scene in which Jason is given his orders by a man behind a desk but their presence is heavy and it’s heartbreaking to know that those men should not have been in such high stress situations together without knowing how they would work together as team, or even whether they could trust each other. You also have a soldier who should have been sent home long before we meet him, if he should have been enrolled in the first place. These bad management decisions go on in all walks of life; bad leaders promoted, good workers overlooked. However seeing it present in a film based on real events and knowing the choices impact the body count? It leaves a shocking knot in your stomach long after the film has finished and the credits have rolled.

Final Thoughts

Certainly not an entertaining watch, and it will not leave you with the warm and fuzzies. However it is a raw, gut wrenching and captivating look at war without the traditional element of propaganda.

Lift (2024) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h44
Release 12.01.2024
Director F Gary Gray
About A master thief is wooed by his ex-girlfriend and the FBI to pull off an impossible heist with his international crew on a 777 passenger flight from London to Zurich.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

Vincent D’Onofrio is incredible in whatever he is in. However, it’s hard not to love him in Lift when he’s clearly having the time of his life. Being a master of disguise, we get to see a wide range of performances from this great. You cannot fault him.

David Proud gives us typical Brit humour and it is incredible. Not only because he gives us some of the funniest moments, it’s also a long time coming having disabled representation in a film as part of the course. That’s true representation.

The heist aspect of the film is good. I mean, I’m a sucker for a heist movie so it was on to a winner there anyway. While there are aspects that are predictable, there are still aspects to this film that are delving into new and uncharted thievery.

No screaming Kevin Hart. I’ll admit, the film hit the hour mark before I lost that fear he wasn’t right for the role but he was perfect… once the action kicked in.

The Bad

Burn Gorman is one of those actors. He pops up in everything; Hollywood and home grown. His American accents come across to me a little ‘fake’ because I grew up watching him in Torchwood and I know he’s a Brit. However, this time I cannot use that. His Irish accent is not only bad, it’s patchy. There’s a scene upon his character meeting Hart’s he straight up says a line in a London accent.

The film takes a little too long to get going. The second half is much better, but it relies on you staying engaged and invested while it takes it’s slow, baby steps.

The Ugly

Why is Hollywood STILL trying to make Sam Worthington happen?! He adds nothing to any film, let alone this one.

Final Thoughts

It’s a heist film by numbers with a very pretty cast. Honestly though, if you want a good heist with heart? Invest in Leverage, not this.

Role Play (2023) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h40
Release 12.01.2024
Director Thomas Vincent
About Emma has a wonderful husband and two kids in the suburbs of New Jersey. She also has a secret life as an assassin for hire, a secret that her husband Dave discovers when the couple decide to spice up their marriage with a little role play.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

Kaley Cuoco and Bill Nighy have amazing chemistry. It’s strange because it’s not romantic, in the slightest, but they give us some of the best scenes in the film.

Cuoco actually plays the action really well. From weaponry, to hand to hand she makes for a convincing spy/ gun for hire and I certainly welcome more work like this from her.

There’s some incredible shots, locations and camera work throughout this film. As a director of episodes of the incredible The Bodyguard (2018), Thomas Vincent has shown he’s as good on the big screen. Much like Cuoco, I am looking forward to seeing more from him.

The Bad

The film goes the long way around to set itself up and get to the action, and sometimes it’s about the journey and sometimes it’s about destination. Unfortunately, this film tries to do both and achieves neither.

By extension one of the biggest problems is who the film deems the protagonist. Initially it seems all set up for Kaley Cuoco’s Emma to lead the film as spy whose lies catch up with her. Then it briefly appears as if the film is going for a riff on Date Night (2010), before giving us Dave’s (David Oyelowo) perspective on a potential pretence that Emma has gone missing.
The film really is a Cuoco’s vehicle and could do with a narrative clean up as there’s just a little too much diversion in the middle act that brings the audience out of the film.
While there’s equally an edit in which this film exists as the duo, akin to Date Night. However, for that to work, there needs to be less separation between the couple. Most importantly, for this to be truly coherent film, a decision needs to be made.

The Ugly

The motivation of the mysterious Sovereign, the decisions made and the lengths they go to is left somewhat unexplained. Yes, there’s a connection made to Emma however it’s all centred in the past. There’s no explanation of the future and the ever important… why?

I did not like some of the cuts that made it into this, specifically ones relating to Cuoco. Way too many sad and angry faces when they weren’t necessary. Maybe the director was calling for stoic, but I’m not sure that’s what happened. Just really made me sad seeing such a pretty, and funny, person frowning so much.

Final Thoughts

It’s a decent Friday night watch, but I don’t think it’s going into anyone’s rewatch pile.

The Producers (1967) Film Review

Rating PG
Length 1h28
Release 09.10.1969
Director Mel Brooks
About A Broadway producer decides to get rich by creating the biggest flop of his career.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer
Trailer:

The Good

Gene Wilder is incredible. From his opening hysterics to the closing captive audience, he’s outstanding with his comic timing.

It’s a lean 85 minutes and it’s technically not a musical. Having seen the 2005 outing first, I was pleasantly surprised to discover that the original is much lighter on the songs.

The Bad

The Nazi play within a film can be misinterpreted. What you have to remember is; this is created by Mel Brooks famous for two things. Mainly the satirical comedy, but the other is that he’s Jewish.
So while there are many at the time of release, and perhaps even now upon a first watch, who saw this film as offensive and missed the point it truly is an amazing feat to take a hated figure and reduce him to a punch line.

The Ugly

I don’t know what it was about the 60s, but it was way too comfortable with its misrepresentation of rape. The Knack … and How to Get It (1965) has a main character running around screaming rape, for anyone she comes across to laugh at her.
The Producers has one of the old broads ask for sex play with Bialystock that is the ‘rape of …’ someone or other. Thankfully, I Think we’ve done away with this trope, much like using asbestos in our buildings. However, it really threw me and I felt like being slapped. No one, and I mean no one, wants to be raped. In fact the phrase is non-sensical.

Final Thoughts

a

Matilda (1996)

Rating PG
Length 1h48
Release 20.12.1996
Director Danny DeVito
About Matilda has a dysfunctional relationship with her parents and brother. At school, she hates the principal for torturing her and a teacher, so she uses her telekinetic abilities to deal with her.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Now TV
Trailer:

The Good

DeVito is absolutely MVP for this film. His acting; spot on. The narration; perfect. The direction; a more mainstream, child-friendly, Tim Burton. Honestly, I loved this movie the first time I saw it and as I’ve grown, I’ve learned to appreciate DeVito’s style of direction. I adore the use of shadows to create tension, the close ups of characters that are intimidating.

The dancing scene as Matilda learns to control her powers! Gah! It walked so that the Philosopher’s Stone could run. The effects; practical and CGI have aged really well and even in that scene, you’re too engrossed in the joy to notice some of the animation-like quality.

Pam Ferris is as amazing as she is frightening. As an ugly fat person, I admire her dedication to present herself in the way that she does. There’s a skill required to be able to give this character a balance that allows the audience to laugh at her, and be terrified. You can see from this performance why she was cast as Aunt Marge in Potter (although she was always my head cannon for Umbridge though)

The Bad

Dahl, being the problematic sod that he is, has some questionable language within his books and some has made its way into the film. Primarily, the word “pissworm”. What he most likely intended was the traditional meaning ‘individual who is deemed to be small or insignificant’. However there are a few other definitions, including it being a ‘disparaging term for a man’s penis’.
I’m sure most kids would miss it, but I’m telling you now I wouldn’t want to be any parent whose kid catches it and repeats it.

The Ugly

As much as I am certain the plot of Miss Honey is entirely innocent, and was written in a very different time, I’m not entirely comfortable with the whole going to Miss Honey’s home for after school hangs. Add to it a casual break-in, and she’s not the role model we’re met to think she is.
Lets but it this way; put Danny DeVito (Or Mr Poppy, Pam Ferris’ other relation from Nativity) in place of Embeth Davidtz and it doesn’t feel as wholesome; its creepy, its grooming and we’re arresting them.

A slight change in the story; not having them in isolation and perhaps having Violet with Matilda, instead of Honey, during the search for doll would tone down the ick.

Final Thoughts

The ick was nowhere near as bad watching it this time, but it also didn’t bring the joy that it did the first time.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h34
Release 05.09.1997
Director Jay Roach
About Austin Powers, a cryogenically frozen British spy from 1960s, is thawed and reinstated when his arch nemesis Dr. Evil returns from space and terrorizes earth with his evil schemes.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

I have the funny bone of a 12 year old boy, so the fart jokes, the pee jokes, the naughty puns…. they always will make me laugh. This is one of those rare films in which the toilet scene works and I appreciate the pay off of having Robert Wagner being named Number 2.

This is a spoof before Scary Movie ruined it all. This is a jovial send up, instead of the bad taste and in spite movie that the genre became in the early 00s. I love the reanimation process and its parody of Demolition Man.

Seth Green was my crush at the time and he’s still the perfect guy. He represented pretty much all of us going through out teen years at this point and he plays off Myer’s brilliantly.

The film gives us a perfect example of consent. Yes, he’s all about sex all of the time. However, an intoxicated woman throwing themselves at him?! Austin is all class.

The Bad

Will Farrell’s ‘brown face’. Again, it’s a reference to spy movies and the various inappropriate and downright offensive representation of various ethnicities while hiring primarily white actors. Doesn’t make this right. Also made what could have been an incredibly funny scene, something that I just wanted over.

The Ugly

The use of the “that’s not a woman” ‘joke’. Not one, but twice. Yes, the first time it’s clear that there’s two people playing the agent and the second Austin has gotten it wrong, but it just doesn’t work today.

Final Thoughts

This franchise was part of my personality. It was the main reason I have always wanted a sphinx and until I left them in my childhood home, owned the action figures.
It hasn’t aged incredibly well, but it certainly brought a smile to my face.