1995 – The Queens of Geekdom

Babe (1995) Film Review

A little pig goes a long way.

Rating U
Length 1h31
Release 15.12.1995
Director Chris Noonan
About Babe, an orphaned pig, learns to herd sheep after Arthur Hoggett, a farmer, wins him in a contest at a country fair. However, Rex, Hoggett’s lead sheepdog, doesn’t like Babe.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Channel 4
Trailer:

The Good

James Cromwell excels in everything he’s in. That’s not even a question. However, he is the only reason why I rewatched this at all. His dialogue is minimal, yet even without speaking you get a lot about his character and his feelings towards Babe, or ‘Pig’ as he’s known to the ‘Boss’.

The episodic storytelling, and the story overall, is really uplifting. The changing opinions of certain animals about others, the triumph of Babe as a Sheep-Pig… it’s heartwarming shit.

The Bad

This, despite its U rating and cute animal focus, is not a kids movie. It’s too dark in tone and themes to truly be a film that is for children that adults can appreciate. There’s a lot of death; implied and near misses. I got the overwhelming sense that Maa was going to die but I couldn’t remember how. I most definitely didn’t remember the opening scene preparing the pigs for the abetoir.

The biggest plot hole for me is that ‘the Boss’ believed, even for one moment, that Babe killed Maa! Yes, pigs have the potential to eat their own and are know to eat small animals… but to kill a sheep the way the dogs do?! Come on Boss, you are better than that.

The Ugly

I hate the mouths. I had nightmares about the mouths. I get they had to have some movement there, but it’s unnatural and in someplace almost looks like human mouths superimposed onto the animals. Really distressing and not helped by the fact that my dad really enjoyed to watch this movie.

Might sound rather cynical but this time I felt like it was anti-meat propaganda. Being a “kid’s” film, I can imagine many a child refusing to eat bacon for a decent amount of time after watching this, and that’s only from the opening scene.

Final Thoughts

Johnny Mnemonic (1995) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h36
Release 9.2.1996
Director Robert Longo
About Johnny is a data courier who literally carries data packages inside his head for a fee. This time he carries a package that is too large to hold for long and he must race against time to deliver it.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:.

The Good

Dina Meyer pretty much carried this dead carcass of a film and it was her first acting role. You can see from this performance why she got her role in Starship Troopers. I also do think that had she been the protagonist, as is the case for the short story it is based on, the narrative would have been a tad smoother.
Absolutely loved Henry Rollins as the ‘flesh mechanic’, Spider. There’s a speech he has towards the end of the film that is still relevant today.
I loved how the upload scene and the ambush was spliced with anime and I’m actually a little sad that it didn’t utilise it a little more.
I think this film needs to be commended for its conviction to the cyberpunk aesthetic. Not only that, but it almost provides that bridge between films like Total Recall, Running Man and later ones like Fifth Element. I think this film would have been up there with all of them had the studio not gotten involved with the editing process.

The Bad

Remember that bit in Community when Abed went Full Nic Cage?! Well, it turns out someone beat him to that. Keanu Reeves basically transforms into Cage. While Cage would have been a perfect fit for this film, Reeves does not wear Cage well.
Don’t cut off the boy’s sideburns. Just no! What’s worse, it took me two thirds of the movie to figure out why Reeves looked so off.

The Ugly

The graphics of ‘the internet’ are so shit. Like, really REALLY bad. Even for the time. Although, I know I shouldn’t be too hard on it; Disclosure uses very similar ones.
Did Dolph understand the objective? I’m not sure he did. I’ll agree that perhaps there were ‘better’ people than Reeves for the lead role, however he does okay. Dolph on the other hand, should not have been involved in this project.

Final Thoughts

The Story the film is trying to tell shows promise and has perhaps aged much better than anyone would expect it to have, however I do feel that overall, and largely due to company edits, the message is lost in translation.

Vampire in Brooklyn (1995)

Rating 15
Length 1h 42
Release 24.5.1996
Director Wes Craven
About Maximillian, the last vampire alive, must find a mate to prevent the end of his lineage. He then meets Rita and tries to court her.

The Good

The opening act is all Hammer Horror and I love it.
The opening narration is amazing. I love the idea that vampires originated from Eygpt, that Max was residing on an island in the Bermuda Triangle until no more people came. Loved the set up, even if it does then lead to this film being a rip off of Coming to America.
The evolution of his ghoul, Julius. I love how archetypal Julius is to all the ghouls I’ve seen in films before, in particular the role of Ed Thompson in Fright Night (1985).

The Bad

The comedy falls a little flat for me. Yes, I chuckled a bit at Murphy’s “I’ve just had Italian.” when talking about Mitch Pileggi’s Mob Boss. After that, there seems to be a lack of Eddie’s usual flair.
Eddie acting against Eddie. Why does he do it? I hate it in Coming to America, I hate it in Norbit and I loath it in The Nutty Professor.
I’m a prude and I could do without all the sex. It wasn’t so visual, but the noises. It was audible, weird, dry humping sex.

The Ugly

Eddie does White Face. At least I think he does. I’m sure its him under the prosthetics. If I’m going to call out incidents of black face, I have to call out these too. The man is a vampire that can take any form. You want it to be a white dude, cast a white dude. Much like all the films that contain examples of black face, this is of its time. However,

Final Thoughts

It is Coming to America, with vampires.

Empire Records: Remix! Special Fan Edition (1995)

Rating PG
Length 1h 47
Release 28.6.1996
Director Allan Moyle
About A group of misfits who work at a small, independent record shop help their manager collect money to buy the enterprise. However, they discover kinship while also trying to fight off a corporate giant.

First Thoughts

The Prince Charles Cinema introduced me to this film full of familiar faces. It was one of their Teen Pyjama Party movie marathons and this was the only film on the list I hadn’t seen. Ever.
It played first and I absolutely loved it.
This was probably late 2015 or early 2016 and ever since I’ve kept a regular appointment to celebrate Rex Manning day, on or around the 8th April.

The Good

This is the definition of ‘misfits’. The narrative centres around a group of teens who openly admit they hate each other. It’s not a clique or a Saturday detention, but the big bad world. They’re all brought together by Joe, this awesome character that everyone who watches would wish to have in their life.
Despite its stupid age rating, this film covers some pretty hard topics; drug abuse, social expectations and even suicide. Jesus, I dare you not to tear up as Deb says “You gonna fix me Joe? Okay, Fix me, I’ll listen.”
Okay, so it doesn’t provide any answers, but it does help anyone who has been there a little less alone. Sometimes that’s all we need, to know that no one really has it together.
The music! There’s a reason the soundtrack did so well. It’s killer. Yes, having around 100 songs featured would me that you could cherry pick for the released album, but even still you’ll appreciate it for the 90s eclectic time capsule it is.
It is a quotable hot mess! From the insights of Lucas, to the stoner mumblings of Mark you’re third and forth viewings will have you calling out those lines.

The Bad

Damn the Man! This is another case of Studio interference. What you watch does not mesh with the rating it has. This should be a 15, that’s certainly the demographic.
It feels so sanitised and lacking authenticity. Yes, it’s a detriment to the film, but watch it in spite of that, please. This is not the cause of anyone who had any passion in the film, but ‘the Man’. I just hope, somewhere, there’s the footage and money that could create a Director’s cut.

The Ugly

I’ve seen many different versions of the film. I think there are at least three out in circulation. The version I watched tonight was badly edited, both in terms of scenes and sound. This is particularly noticeable when Gina seduces Rex; you hear a bar and a half of ‘A Girl Like You’ and it suddenly cuts off, when you know it should really be fading in. It’s not until a while later, perhaps indicating the addition of a scene, that the Edwyn Collins’ track returns to ‘compliment’ the proceedings.
Aside from being an obvious distraction, the edits also highlight the issues with the plot. I’ll be honest, I don’t care too much, however I can’t help but being banged over the head with the errors when its being screamed at me.

Final Thoughts

Damn the man, save the Empire. Every year, on the 8th April.

The Prophecy (1995)

Rating: 18
Length: 1h 38
Release: 8.1.1996
Dir: Gregory Widen
About: The story revolves around a little girl and a priest, who try to prevent Gabriel, an angel from collecting souls from earth to end the stalemated war in Heaven.

The Good

The premise of angels versus humans is an interesting one. While it may not have been executed in a way that would warrant a cinematic release, it still holds strong against others that are similar.
Eric Stoltz is pretty decent as Simon. He’s able to give a performance that gives the audience a hint doubt as to whose side he is on.
Christopher Walken gives a otherworldly performance that you buy into the second he comes on screen. The contempt Gabriel feels for humans comes off Walken in waves and the fear that manifests is something I’ve long associated with his roles.
The combination of Christianity and Native American mysticism is really refreshing. There’s no clash between the two when the Native Americans are needed to help the young girl in trouble. There was no narrative over which one was right and I liked that there was no comments by the angels disavowing the culture and faith of the Native Americans.
Viggo Mortesen embodies Lucifer in a similar way viewers will later see in Tom Ellis. I can totally see him as the fallen angel from the bible, who attempts to charm Jesus into betraying G-d.

The Bad

Some character introductions were unclear. While it adds mystery to the angels and adds a barrier between the viewer and the heavenly characters, it does also make the narrative much harder than it needs to be.

The Ugly

Simon kissing the young girl. I understand its the method of transference but it really changes the tone of the scene. It really makes Simon’s interaction leading to that moment really rapey!

Final Thoughts

This was an entertaining watch akin to End of Days, Stigmata and Priest. It certainly is an interesting concept, and I do wonder how the other two will add to the franchise.

The American President (1995)

Rating 15
Length 1Hr 54
Release 8.10.1995
Director Rob Reiner
About Comedy-drama about a widowed US president and a lobbyist who fall in love. It’s all aboveboard, but “politics is perception” and sparks fly anyway.

The Good

The cast is incredible. Michael Douglas, Martin Sheen, Michael J Fox and even Joshua Malian among others make up this stellar cast. Oh and lets not forget our antagonists Richard Dreyfuss and John Mahoney who do a delightful job at making us hate them.
Once I got over the fact that Martin Sheen was not Bartlett, I found his character the most charming and fun presence within the film. He always has a smart response and he even recites Green Eggs and Ham!
This is a fairytale. It’s a romance film dressed as a political movie. I love that. There’s no woman in need of saving and the prince has earned his place rather than gaining his privilege through blood. But there’s still ballgowns, dancing and butterflies.
I absolutely love that one of the key plot threads is global warming. How the hell is Jane Fonda being arrested every Friday when the world was recognising this as a problem in 1995?!
It’s a very interesting watch in light of the recent news regarding Harry and Meghan and the stress they feel under.

The Bad

There’s a narrative thread about the president being able to get flowers. It’s rather charming actually, even if it does go a little too far with the first scene and him being walked through the order process. However, towards the end of the film, he goes to the florist in person to prove he was who he said he was. The woman, upon realising who he is; passes out. It’s a tad too silly for me and stands out against the tone of the film.

The Ugly

I found Sydney a little of a muddled character and she was certainly made out to be rather annoying and flappy rather than the self assured pitbull she’d later described as. I guess what I’m saying is that I found it hard to marry up how she’s described to how she’d portrayed. I don’t see a distinct change in the character to warrant the comment “I hired a pitbull, not a prom queen.” She seems like the Miss World contender from start to finish.

Final Thoughts

I want more movies like this. Incredible casting, inoffensive narrative and a quality script. I wasn’t a fan of the leading lady’s performance but it didn’t stop me enjoying the film on the whole.

Toy Story (1995)

Length: 1Hr 21

Rating: PG

Release: 22.3.1996

About: Woody (Tom Hanks), a good-hearted cowboy doll who belongs to a young boy named Andy (John Morris), sees his position as Andy’s favorite toy jeopardized when his parents buy him a Buzz Lightyear (Tim Allen) action figure. Even worse, the arrogant Buzz thinks he’s a real spaceman on a mission to return to his home planet. When Andy’s family moves to a new house, Woody and Buzz must escape the clutches of maladjusted neighbor Sid Phillips (Erik von Detten) and reunite with their boy.

The Good

“You uncultured swine” there are so many pun-tastings lines in this beauty. It makes the dialogue smart, funny and, therefore, a film that grows with a child.
The Joss Whedon influence. ‘They’re not lying down on the job.’ – scene moves to the soldiers lying down on the job. While I don’t know I can confirm that he wrote THAT line, but Whedon has explained that it’s something he did in Avengers Assemble. There’s a few other lines like this and in this they come across like dad humour, which I find strangely comforting.
You couldn’t have better actors than Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. That line ‘you. Are. A. Toy.’ has perfect delivery and one I parrot.
Its pace is brilliant and never has any lulls. In fact it’s the perfect cause and effect movie for any Film Studies student to analyse.

The Bad and the Ugly

Sid scared me as a child. He still scares me now. The only thing that scares me more are the mangled toys. I don’t know if this makes me a pussy, but it gave me nightmares and was pretty much the reason why I didn’t like it as a kid.

Final Thoughts

It was, much like a Lion King, a film I disliked as a kid. However, I’ve grown to love it and I’m very much looking forward to part 4 in a few weeks time.

High Lonesome: A Father for Charlie (1995)

Length: 1Hr 27

Release: 1.1.1995

Rating: 12

About: Based on a true story. A poor black sharecropper strikes up an unlikely friendship with a hostile young white boy – but their budding friendship is threatened by a brutal red-neck sheriff.

The Good

The story is able to be told in a realistic and gritty way without an overuse of offensive language. It was my biggest worry going into the film as it pains me to see and hear the mistreatment of people, especially in regards to something they have no control over.
The story is important. The only thing that upsets me, is how important the message still is today. The blind and learned hatred, not only from Charlie, but the entire town is something that is still in society today. Having Osgood’s actions and kindness change the views of a child is one thing, but there’s an unexpected ally to be found by the film’s closing scenes.
The gravitas in which Louis Gossett Jr holds himself throughout the film as the sole man of colour, Walter Osgood, is incredibly moving. There are many scenes in which Gossett Jnr is conversing with his wife’s grave stone. He holds the viewers attention effortlessly. I’d watch him in anything, and I’m quite surprised I’m unfamiliar with his name.
Joe Mazzello’s portrayal of Charlie is quite possibly one of his best. His accent is solid and he is able to present a head strong young boy who has been neglected by the one person he needed. How someone at 12 years old, with no academic training, can act the shit out of a complex character is beyond me. His scene with the Sheriff ( the ever brilliant William Fichtner), in which he bluffs about his relationship with Walter will have your heart in your mouth.
At the heart of this movie is the relationship between Charlie and Walter. It only works because of the two actors you have in the roles. The chemistry of the two is believable and charming; the frosty learned behaviour melts so easily with just a little bit of kindness. Not many actors of Mazzello’s age could bring the conceited innocence, vulnerability and ‘old soul’ charm to the role.

The Bad

I’ve never liked the presence of the KKK within films. It’s a personal thing that breaks my heart and keeps me agnostic; how can an organisation perform such horrific acts and claim to be religious?! Scenes that subtly and overtly express their actions and views make for this to be a rather difficult and uncomfortable watch.

The Ugly

The music is really the only big giveaway that this period film is in fact a TV movie. I want to rescore the whole film as I found the light and, at times, humorous tone a little jarring in contrast to the narratives subject content.

Final Thoughts

It is a well made, superbly acted film. It’s not going to be a film I watch often as there are scenes that upset me greatly, however it is certainly a good film to watch in order to put the treatment of people of colour into context.

Film Review: Toy Story (1995)

Length: 1Hr 21

Rating: PG

Release: 22nd March 1996

First Thoughts

This film scared the crap out of me and seemed to angry to enjoy. I think this was a cinema trip with my neighbour.

The Good

“You uncultured swine” there are so many pun-tastings lines in this beauty. It makes the dialogue smart, funny and, therefore, a film that grows with a child.
The Joss Whedon influence. ‘They’re not lying down on the job.’ – scene moves to the soldiers lying down on the job. While I don’t know I can confirm that he wrote THAT line, but Whedon has explained that it’s something he did in Avengers Assemble. There’s a few other lines like this and in this they come across like dad humour, which I find strangely comforting.
You couldn’t have better actors than Tom Hanks and Tim Allen. That line ‘you. Are. A. Toy.’ has perfect delivery and one I parrot.
It’s pace is brilliant and never has any lulls. In fact it’s the perfect cause and effect movie for any Film Studies student to analyse.

The Bad and the Ugly

Sid scared me as a child. He still scares me now. The only thing that scares me more are the mangled toys. I don’t know if this makes me a pussy, but it gave me nightmares and was pretty much the reason why I didn’t like it as a kid.

Final Thoughts

It was, much like a Lion King, a film I disliked as a kid. However, I’ve grown to love it and I’m very much looking forward to part 4 in a few weeks time.

Film Review: Three Wishes (1995)

Length: 1Hr 55

Rating: PG

Release: 15th December 1995

About: Description

When single mother Jeanne Holman (Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio) turns to avoid hitting a dog with her station wagon, she unwittingly hits bearded drifter Jack McCloud (Patrick Swayze). Against the protests of her scandalized neighbors, Holman insists that the injured man stay at the Holman residence to heal. As the eccentric McCloud recovers from the accident, he becomes a positive influence on — and an unexpected father figure to — her young sons, Tom (Joseph Mazzello) and Gunny (Seth Mumy).

For Starters

I am pretty certain I saw this in the cinema. The only thing I’m not sure about, is who I went with. I’m convinced it wasn’t my birthday movie so it must have been a pre-Christmas trip with my neighbour. However, what I’m certain of is that it was something I chose to watch because ‘the kid from Jurassic Park’ was in it. It was one of many films I coerced my mum and others into taking me to see with that line. Jurassic Park also saw me watch Tremors at a much younger age than I should have because Mazzello’s onscreen sister was in it.

Anyway, I definitely saw it in the cinema and I think I’ve only seen it that one time before today. I have fond, feel good, memories linked to it.

The Good

• Its a beautiful story; the sort that isn’t made today. That dreamy, feel good nostalgic look at the 50s that was seen in films like Now and Then, Stand By Me and Forest Gump.

• At its heart this is a baseball movie. Tom and his team pretty much suck, but over the course of the film, they improve enough to win a game. As much as I would have loved to have seen more of this, it was more about Tom earning his place within the group that segregates him.

• What struck me when watching this time was the Buddhism approach to baseball that Patrick Swayze’s Jack teaches the boys. Not only does it help transform the boys and helps them win, the coach embraces the approach Jack offers. It’s quite a stark contrast to the toxic masculine leadership originally shown and something I couldn’t appreciate at the time.

• Joe Mazzello demonstrates once again why he was one of the best child actors around. His chemistry with Patrick Swayze is something I truly love; the distrust that melts away to accept a different father figure that the 50s was pumping out. How Tom is treated is heartbreaking; he’s not accepted because he doesn’t have a father. Mazzello has this amazing way of being a brat, but you knowing deep down he’s a good (if not impressionable) kid. There are actors out there who would make Tom an unlikable character, but it’s with scenes like the batting practice that shows you how much Tom wants to be happy.

• I love how strong the film allows Jeanne to be. In a period of time in which is was expected for her to remarry, she passes up a proposal and chooses to raise her boys alone. It’s empowering as a female viewer

• Finally… a film that shows the passage of time with the moon. This is silly, but I’ve been very frustrated to see a full moon in pretty much every single tv show or movie that shows the night sky. I was so very happy to see that when the moon appears for a second scene, days later, it is in fact waning.

The Bad

• The fantasy element is really good and I really wish there was more to it. This suffers in much the same way as Radio Flyer, the fantasy is so subtle you wonder if it really takes place. In Three Wishes, it might just be the case; the fantasy aspects only really present themselves once Gunny is diagnosed with cancer. It’s a shame, as if this was the main focus it would have added a lot of charm.

• Phil, the man courting Jeanne, is a dick. I really hate that he’s in it at all although I understand why. He enables the commentary of Jeanne ‘having’ to remarry in order to fit in within the nuclear families that were blossoming in the prefab homes.

The Ugly

• The target audience is a little unclear and while it’s sold as a family film, there’s a little too much adult-only screen time for little ones to enjoy and it really has such a slow pace that I don’t think would make this an all time favourite with adults.

• The narration approach doesn’t work with how the story unravels. We discover at the end that it was being ‘told’ by Tom. Yet there was so much of what we see that Tom wouldn’t know. I think it’s in this where the answer lies; he should have been the sole protagonist rather than it being an omnipresent narrator. By having that shift and perhaps allowing him in on the fantasy Gunny sees, it would make for a much more fluid story.

Final Thoughts

I’m so very glad I watched it again. I’m having fun going back and watching Maxzello’s early work. There was also a lovely surprise in catching sight of a pre-Arrowverse Neal McDonough and a pre-Gilmore Girls Scott Patterson.

It’s by no means perfect, but it’s a perfect Sunday afternoon watch with family.

The Indian in the Cupboard (1995)

Length: 1Hr 38

Rating: PG

About: On his birthday, Omri (Hal Scardino) is given several simple gifts, including an old wooden cupboard and a small plastic figurine of a Native American man. When he locks the toy inside the cabinet it magically comes to life as a tiny, cagey warrior named Little Bear (Litefoot). The boy then places other toys in the cupboard and they too come to life, even engaging in entertaining battles. But after Little Bear is wounded, Omri begins to understand that his animate toys are not mere playthings.

First Thoughts

This was my birthday film when I was 10. Upon watching it today, I really do wonder why I chose this to watch. Turns out, I’d had quite a month in the cinema and The Indian in the Cupboard would have been my 6th outing in December. Quite incredible really; I don’t remember seeing quite so many in such a short space of time.

The Good

There’s some deep and meaningful themes within the story that appear to be pulled from the book from which the film is adapted. From exploring responsibility to death and funeral rituals, it’s an easily passive education.

The way in which the film has mastered the perspectives to have the actors as different sizes still stands and I’d say it’s better than films like the Burrowers, which had a larger budget.

It’s quite nice spotting Steve Coogan in a role of humanised toy soldier many years before becoming Octavian in Night at the Museum.

The Bad and the Ugly

Its an odd sort of kid’s film. The plot is rather slow, overly serious and somber for younger viewers, while adults probably would rather check out Mannequin than watch this anxiety riddled kid play with plastic made human.

It’s rather slow in a way that makes it feel overly long. Part of it is to do with the role of Omri; there’s no real development of his character other than him deciding to no longer use the cupboard. I’d have liked to have seen him become a more confident child. By lacking a significant development, it subdues what should be an uplifting ending.

Final Thoughts

It was nice to watch this film again, but I can see why I’ve not rushed to see it again.