Category: Han

Blade Runner the Final Cut(15)

Blade Runner the Final Cut(15)
Release date: May 1982 (Although the version I watched was from 2002)

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From IMDB: A blade runner must pursue and try to terminate four replicants who stole a ship in space and have returned to Earth to find their creator.

The Good
Harrison Ford was okay as Detective Rick Decker. Part Indy, part Solo and a clear inspiration for Bruce Willis’ Fifth Element character Korben Dallas.
The noir elements (some at least), including Femme Fatale Sean Young, are quite interesting and complement the film’s beautiful score.
I can’t deny that visually it’s stunning. Some of the graphics have aged incredibly well and some of the costume choices are inspired. Zhora’s first appearance for example, is perfectly on trend. Her bejewelled body and face are currently the height of festival and club night fashion.

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The Bad
This is a filmic demonstration of style over substance. The plot is sort of there. I guess; if you squint and turn your head. Except no time has been spent on merging and streamlining some of the separate elements. There were too many metaphorical motifs and slow scenes full of interpretation.

I didn’t feel any motivation for Ford’s character, I didn’t feel anything, at all. In fact, considering the film explored the primary difference between humans and replicants and that difference being emotion; there was very little emotion. From anyone.

The Ugly
That excuse for a romantic scene. Harrison Ford, all in a fuddle about the replicant Rachael who has saved his life doesn’t want her to leave. He pins the door closed before throwing her, rather violently I might add, to the opposite wall before demanding Rachael to repeat his words.
I’m sure it was meant to be romantic, but it left me feeling uncomfortable. Debate about replicants aside; there’s a clear issue with consent here. Coaching Rachael into consent is a huge concern for me. Especially when it’s Harrison Freakin’ Ford; the beautiful man shouldn’t need forced love.

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Final Thoughts
I was bored. Bored, I say. It was slow and disconnected and I needed the Wiki plot it find out what on earth was going on (and I wasn’t on my phone or multi-tasking, before you ask).

I’m now reconsidering whether I want to see the new edition out this week.

Goodbye Christopher Robin (PG)

Goodbye Christopher Robin (PG)
Release date: 29th September 2017
Trailer

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From IMDB: A rare glimpse into the relationship between beloved children’s author A. A. Milne (Domhnall Gleeson) and his son Christopher Robin, whose toys inspired the magical world of Winnie the Pooh. Along with his mother Daphne (Margot Robbie), and his nanny Olive, Christopher Robin and his family are swept up in the international success of the books; the enchanting tales bringing hope and comfort to England after the First World War. But with the eyes of the world on Christopher Robin, what will the cost be to the family?

The Good
Biased though I am, Domhnall Gleeson was a delight as A. A. Milne (However, he’s also a delight in Dredd, so yup, biased). So much so, I almost forget how much of a shite father he is to his son, Christopher Robin.
There’s a charm to his understated performance that brings the character a sense of amusement, yet world weary from the troubles of war. My heart lifted every time I saw his smile and heard his soothing voice during the playful scenes in the woods with his son.
It’s a perfect(ish) Sunday afternoon film, full of warmth and colour and a twee sense of Britishness. There is an uplifting essence despite the somewhat downward turn the plot takes.

WATCH: And Weep, Trailer for Winnie the Pooh’s Origin Story ‘Goodbye Christopher Robin’ Will Make You Cry.” CREDIT: Fox Searchlight

The Bad
Alas, this was not a work of fiction, but a biopic. So while a film played for entertainment would have everyone cheery and the film would end as the book hits the shelves.
Instead, we see the family tormented by fame and the challenges of PTSD in a country recovering from war. Christopher Robin grows up frustrated, confused and resentful of his intimate time with his father being sold for mass consumption.
It feels a little wrong, much like Theory of Everything, watching a family come undone. Especially in such an emotionally repressed manner.

The Ugly
While Margot Robbie should be applauded for her performance, I absolutely detested the character of Daphne. The wife of A. A. Milne is the fundamental flaw in what could be a heart-warming tale.
This upper class, emotionally stunted woman is like Lady Macbeth; blackmailing her husband and showing no love to her child, it is her actions that lead to the publication of the stories and the emotional scaring of her child.
I almost, at one point, hoped for an affair between Blue and the Nanny; Olive. I’d have understood and even encouraged the affair; Milne keeps his emotions in check due to the reprimand of his wife. A bittersweet thought remains in my head; how well adjusted would Christopher have been had Blue just told his wife where to go?!
It again, makes it harder that this is real life. While I have no doubt, some licence has been taken with the biography; I refuse to believe it would be at such defamation of a person.

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Final Thoughts
While there are some tears to be shed, there isn’t quite enough for it to be cathartic. It will be one I’ll intend to rewatch, but perhaps never will. It’s something for those who enjoyed Saving Mr Banks and I fully expect some Oscar nominations (Gleeson, Robbie, Costume) in the new year.

The Sacrifice Box by @martinjstewart ‏#bookreview

The Sacrifice Box by Martin Stewart
Release date: 11th January 2018
Buy it here
Goodreads
So, yes… this is an ARC and I don’t remember where I got it from. I’d love to say that this is something rather spooky and that it’s just *found* its way onto my reading pile. However, I received 4 ARCS from 3 sources in 1 week, and I can’t remember if this was in my twitter giveaway or my subscription box.

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Description:

An atmospheric, chilling page turner from rising star Martin Stewart, reminiscent of Stand by Me and Stranger Things.

Sep, Arkle, Mack, Lamb and Hadley: five friends thrown together one hot, sultry summer. When they discover an ancient stone box hidden in the forest, they decide to each make a sacrifice: something special to them, committed to the box for ever. And they make a pact: they will never return to the box at night; they’ll never visit it alone; and they’ll never take back their offerings.

Four years later, the gang have drifted apart. Then a series of strange and terrifying events take place, and Sep and his friends understand that one of them has broken the pact.

As their sacrifices haunt them with increased violence and hunger, they realise that they are not the first children to have found the box in their town’s history. And ultimately, the box may want the greatest sacrifice of all: one of them.

Characters
I love all of the characters; each one was a unique and definable identity within the group. Something that must be hard to achieve when you have such a large ensemble.
Sep is my favourite; he is relatable and the primary focus of the story despite its third person narrative. His development and sacrifices are monumental to the plot and endears him to me just as a young Wil Wheaton once did in Stand By Me.

Arckle reminds me of Corey Feldmen in pretty much every filmic incarnation he’s had. I love the humour, and cursing, he brings to the group.
Okay, so I’m making reference to Stand By Me, but it’s so much more than that. The group represent the best of all teen ensemble movies; the Goonies, The ‘Burbs, IT and the modern day equivalent, Stranger Things. If it ain’t broke, why fix it, right? Except Stewart does fix it; we have a much more gender equal group and, not only that, they are characterised by their stereotypes. Both Hadley and Lamb are welcome editions that are not prom queens or cheerleaders.

Plot
A class horror plot, perfect for a night in when the air is crisp. With the supernatural element to set up the main part of the plot, you will feel a very creepy vibe from the very start.
The exploration of school friendships and how people drift is a refreshing change to many school based novels.
The action speeds to a crescendo in time for the final act of the book; well written and engaging. The whole book is resolved neatly and quite beautifully; the group going their separate ways while being closer than ever.

Writing
While the writing is engaging, I found the lack of establishing a location a little distracting. You see, in part it reads like a charming, sleepy, American town. However, there are also nods to British culture. It’s described as an island of the mainland, so I considered Scotland, Isle of Man and other coastal areas, but nothing really fit.
I even paused to google the named location in the book, but I wasn’t successful in confirming a location. It’s not something destructive to the plot and I once I reconciled myself with the idea that I was free to establish it as a perfect blend of UK and US I really quite enjoyed the location. (Turns out, all you really need to do is find the author on Twitter… that might give you a good indication it’s set on a island off the coast of Scotland. I’m so reading this book again come Halloween so I can read it as it was, i’m sure intended, with the characters having beautiful Scottish accents)
The use of third person was a strange novelty for me. I’ve been finding that most YA books lean towards first person narration. I don’t remember growing up there being so much first person, or a certainly a lack of third, but here I am having to get used to a form of writing that I was once comfortable with.
Obviously, this makes the writer a little omniscient; and that, I really like. It gave Stewart the freedom to travel in time and expand beyond Sep’s point of view.

Grahame of Thrones – Charring Cross Theatre

Grahame of Thrones – Charring Cross Theatre
29th September
Tickets
From the website: 

In this critically-acclaimed theatrical journey through the Seven Kingdoms, direct from sold out shows in London’s West End and Australia, avid ‘Thrones’ fan Graeme just wants to recreate his favourite fantasy saga on stage – aided and abetted by his best friend Paul and the girl he used to fancy at school – Bryony. He doesn’t quite have the same budget as the TV show, or as many cast members, or the performance skill required, but he’s sure George RR Martin would approve – and that’s what matters. But when news reaches them that an influential theatrical producer is in the building, Graeme decides that this could be his big break – as long as nothing goes wrong …

See it before the inevitable lawsuit!

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Plot
In a wonderful send up to the Seven Realms, three actors take on multiple parts to entertain the Broken 4th wall audience and win their investment for a theatre production of HBO’s hit show.

As we see the hits from the six seasons (tip: get yourself caught up if you intend to go) the three member troupe break character to add their own drama to the narrative.

It’s a pacy little bigger, filled with laughs and visual gag that will keep you chuckling long after you’ve left the theatre.

Cast
Representing the many dialects of Westros is a hard job, but somebody has got to do it. And do it they do. It’s a strong trio of players; John Luke Roberts, Ross Spaine And Nic Damont

It is Nic Damont Of the Twins MacCarbe who steals the show recreating Sansa’s first period and the demon birth from the Red Priestess. Both brilliantly set up and performed.

Staging
It is clear that it is a production from the Fringe. The staging is sparse, but the props are number-some and played for laughed… just wait until you see the puppets.

Do check it out when you can. I think it might just ease the wait for S7.

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Caterpillars Can’t Swim by Liane Shaw

Caterpillars Can’t Swim by Liane Shaw
Release date: 6th March 2018
Copy from Net Galley- available until 27th October
Pre-order it here
Goodreads

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Description: For sixteen-year-old Ryan, the water is where he finds his freedom. Ever since childhood, when he realized that he would never walk like other people, he has loved the water where gravity is no longer his enemy. But he never imagined he would become his small town’s hero by saving a schoolmate from drowning.

Jack is also attracted to the water, but for him it’s the promise of permanent escape. Disappearing altogether seems better than living through one more day of high-school where he is dogged by rumours about his sexuality. He’s terrified that coming out will alienate him from everyone in town—and crush his adoring mother.

Ryan saves Jack’s life, but he also keeps his secret. Their bond leads to a grudging friendship, and an unexpected road-trip to Comic Con with Ryan’s best friend Cody, the captain of the swim team. They make an unlikely trio, but each of them will have the chance to show whether he is brave enough to go against the stereotypes the world wants to define him by.

I loved this book; from start to finish. I got to the half way mark so unbelievably quickly; I fired a quick message to my beautiful friend Zoe

Characters
Ryan is the most level headed and beautiful character I’ve ever had the delight to read. While he has a physical disability that does indeed cause him some frustration, I like that he is able to move past it and, as a character, show us that the chair is part of who he is.
Jack is a little bit of a mystery; owing to it being a first person narrative. At times I wish I could have had a few chapters from his perspective, just because I was itching to hear his voice. However, it’s not long before Ryan has broken down the barriers and Jack opens up. It’s worth the wait.

All in all, I was so very happy to have two strong male leads in a wonderfully refreshing novel.

Plot
The plot is much more complex that it appeared on the surface. It obviously has to deal with the immediate aftermath of the incident involving Ryan and Jack, but it evolves into a bittersweet road trip of self-discovery and growth.
I was about to grumble about the lack of a female presence outside of the two mothers, but then Clare and her friend turn up and I’m much happier
The final act is a sucker punch and brave twist to Jack’s journey that will have you reaching for the tissues.

Writing
Well, it had me hooked, and it’s the first book I’ve read in one sitting in a long while. I didn’t even put it down to eat or make a cuppa.
I was so invested in the characters that I NEEDED to know what happened. The chapters were a perfect length and there was no lulls that interrupted the flow.
Utterly perfect, from start to finish.

Star Trek Discovery

Star Trek Discovery
Netflix exclusive- Airing weekly
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Background
Some point in 1995 I was sent home ill from school. Back in the day, we only had 4 channels so there was nothing on tv. So I pressed play for the VCR, never realising what I would watch would fundamentally change who I was.
Prior to this point I was a passive viewer of all things Trek. However, there was something about this Deep Space Nine two-parter presented as a mini movie that caught my attention. Namely a character called Dr Julian Bashir, who would become my first ever crush.

I have, ever since, found myself involved in the world. I dressed up for my shift in the cinema back in 2009’s opening weekend of JJ Abrams’ reboot and I even wrote a fan fiction about DS9 way before I even knew it was a thing.

I was very sad when Enterprise ended. Not only the fact that it marked the first time in recent television history that there would be no space based shows on tv, but the horrific way in which the final season went was a nightmare. It was almost as if someone uttered the phrase ‘jump the shark’ about the third season and the creators went ‘hold my beer.’

However, in the new age of Netflix we have had a resurgence. There’s a new Starfleet crew about to boldly go … most likely somewhere all the others have been before.

 

S1 ep1: A Vulcan Hello
From IMDB:
While patrolling Federation space, the U.S.S. Shenzhou encounters an object of unknown origin, putting First Officer Michael Burnham to her greatest test yet.

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Characters
It was a fine first outing for the new show. There’s some good characters and the creators have chosen to make the protagonist the ship’s First Officer instead of the usual Captain. It’s surprising how much of a difference this makes and I can’t put my finger on what it is.

Michael is an awesome character, played by The Walking Dead alumni, Sonequa Martin-Green. A human raised on Vulcan after a traumatic event killed her own parents. It’s an interesting way of representing the human/Vulcan conflict and I am looking forward to seeing how it pans out.
Knowing that Michael is ready for her own ship, but declines add tension to the first episode and I predict it’ll be the case for some time.
Another addition to the crew is Doug Jones of Hellboy playing Lt Saru; an alien race unseen before now in the universe. He is a wonderful breath of cautious air. However, other than the three core characters, we are relatively sparse of people we learn anything about.

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Visuals and Music
It’s dark and glossy, with those JJ lense flares. It’s attractive and inviting with just a hint of horror.
The music is a riff of the Original Series’ iconic melody with it’s own identity. It’s incredibly beautiful and something I will look forward to hearing week in week out for the foreseeable future.

Plot
This is where my biggest issue comes in and the part that I will always have issues with, unless something massive changes. The writers have a futuristic world filled with possibilities and the freedom to do what they wish. However, they’ve planted themselves smack bang in between the timeline of two existing shows, meaning the technology, uniforms and cultural progression is all off.

One of our main characters is an alien that we’ve never heard of before, or after, this. While I enjoy his character, a simple relocation within the timeline would make this much better.
While on the subject of the timeline; the Klingons, that have been missing for 100 years…conflicts with the meeting of Enterprise with the Klingons in the pilot episode Broken Bow.

It just frustrates me, as it becomes convoluted for the sake of it. For a show about a crew that goes where no mankind have been before, I really wish the creators and writers would perhaps take it on as their own mantra.

Poseidon Adventure (1972) PG

Poseidon Adventure (1972) PG
From IMDB: A passenger ship, on her way to the scrap yard is pushed to her limits by the new owners to save on the dismantling fees. A tidal wave hits her, flipping her over so that all the internal rooms are upside down. A priest takes a mixed band of survivors on a journey through the bowels of the ship in an attempt to survive

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I will always love this movie. So many films, and even tv shows (Dr Who, I’m looking at you), have recycled this narrative format to varying results and receptions. However, nothing, not even Sly Stallone’s Daylight (1996), will take the place of the Gene Hackman fronted disaster movie.

What perhaps works so well about Poseidon Adventure is that at its heart is its characters; a priest, young siblings, a couple who boost each other and encourage themselves to continue and a reformed prostitute with her arresting officer turned loving husband.

The film’s simplicity does not rely on special effects to drawn us in and make us feel the peril, but instead it gives you time to get to know the ensemble, their fears and their motivations for survival.

When the boat tips, rendering the passengers trapped as the water threatens to drown every living person on board, you feel for the characters you have gotten to know. The only solution is to get to the engine room, which is now at the top of the capsized vessel. As with many subsequent disaster movies, the people are reduced in number as people of authority disagree about the best course of action.
The plot progresses, the survivors a met with challenges that some don’t survive. It’s not always the ones you suspect either, which is refreshing. Especially as we get into the final act and our protagonist bravely gives his life. It’s a brave move for a Hollywood movie; all the remakes have this archetype survive. You don’t see it coming and the sacrifice is sincere.

While some things may not have aged as well, it can all be overlooked on that sleepy Sunday afternoon when you want a blockbuster with heart, modesty and a plot a little closer to reality.

 

Watch if you like:

Daylight
Poseidon (2005)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

Warcross by Marie Lu

Warcross by Marie Lu
Buy it at here
Goodreads
From Amazon:

For the millions who log in every day, Warcross isn’t just a game–it’s a way of life. The obsession started ten years ago and its fan base now spans the globe, some eager to escape from reality and others hoping to make a profit. Struggling to make ends meet, teenage hacker Emika Chen works as a bounty hunter, tracking down Warcross players who bet on the game illegally. But the bounty-hunting world is a competitive one, and survival has not been easy. To make some quick cash, Emika takes a risk and hacks into the opening game of the international Warcross Championships–only to accidentally glitch herself into the action and become an overnight sensation.

Convinced she’s going to be arrested, Emika is shocked when instead she gets a call from the game’s creator, the elusive young billionaire Hideo Tanaka, with an irresistible offer. He needs a spy on the inside of this year’s tournament in order to uncover a security problem . . . and he wants Emika for the job. With no time to lose, Emika’s whisked off to Tokyo and thrust into a world of fame and fortune that she’s only dreamed of. But soon her investigation uncovers a sinister plot, with major consequences for the entire Warcross empire.

In this sci-fi thriller, #1 New York Times bestselling author Marie Lu conjures an immersive, exhilarating world where choosing who to trust may be the biggest gamble of all.

 

The characters

It’s quite strange that I don’t recognise anything in the character of Emika, but I do connect with her character very early on. I’m invested in her story and her relationships.
She’s comparable to the likes of Katnis, Tris and even Ready Player One’s Wade. However, I feel as if boiling Emika down to this does her a disservice. She’s head strong, independent and modest; she is someone you will route for. She is a likeable character who charms her way into your heart in that first chapter.

Then there’s Hideo, the Billionaire creator of Warcross. He’s part mysterious, part icon of power and a whole lot of charm, for the right person. He’s a beautifully flawed character who I fell for very quickly. I am looking forward to seeing this character develop in the sequel.

The narrative sees Emika interact with many other characters and it’s amazing how her gut instinct about them shines through. It really does influence my own opinion of them, mainly because of my trust in her.

The plot

The plot is rich in world building; both in and out of Warcross. It takes time to breath and allow you to become familiar with the environment. Emika is hired to find a rebel force within the virtual world; and the novel explores the effort to find the culprit and the conspiracy that unravels as a result.
There are some questions left unanswered by Warcross’ closing chapter, but there are enough reveals to leave you feeling satisfied.

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The writing was clean and pacey; so much that I devoured Warcross in much the same way that I did with Ernest Cline’s Ready Player One.

New phrases used to describe new elements and technology within this world are well integrated and utilised without exposition to the point that you are not lost in this world or left feeling patronised.

It is a book where the action reads like it’s being played out on a silver screen; a talent that will forever be comparable to the work of my beloved Michael Crichton. It welcomes you in and leaves you begging for the sequel.

Truly Madly Awkward by Beth Garrod #nspBookClub

Truly Madly Awkward by Beth Garrod
Buy it at here
Goodreads
From Amazon:

Bella Fisher is back – and is cool, calm and collected as ever. So: NOT EVEN REMOTELY. Her fledgling relationship with Hot Adam seems to have stalled mid-flight (he isn’t really speaking to her), her big sister Jo has gone off to university leaving Bella to deal with ditzy Mum on her own, something is up with her best-friend-dynamic with Tegan and Rachel and horror of horrors, horrendous ex-boyfriend Luke has an ACTUAL MODEL as his new girlfriend. Mum opens up a doggy ice cream parlour – Give a Dog a Cone – which Bella is forced to help out at on Saturdays. Yes, dressed up as a dog. For some light relief she enters a radio competition to secure a performance from hot band of the moment The Helicans at her school – but another contestant begins turning into her sabotaging nemesis. Throw in a suspicious new lodger and the world’s most chaotic dog agility course and you’ve got another truly hilarious, truly relatable and truly madly awkward story!

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The characters
I like Bella. She fills the geeky hole left by the ending of Holly Smale’s Harriet Manners. Bella is the geek that goes wrong and you love her for it.
Her crush, Adam, is sweet and charming. Although I don’t find myself rooting for them; I’m picky and he’s a little dull for my romance satisfaction.
Bella is supported by a well rounded group of friends, all lovely people with their own problems. It was quite nice to have a book where there wasn’t a single character I didn’t like.

Then there was the lodger who wasn’t all she seemed. There was a trickle of mystery behind her glossy look and it’s quite delightful to see the character develop.

The plot
The book centres on the opening and running of a shop Bella’s mum has opened which works in parallel with Bella’s own journey; winning a competition for the band of the moment to play at her school.

It’s a easy read plot of situation build up, catastrophe and resolution. It’s wonderful, and not entirely predictable like it could have been. There’s a great end that will leave any reader satisfied.

The writing
It’s a personal thing for me, but working with students all day means I have very little time for the ‘teen voice’ that is represented here in Truly Madly Awkward. It’s not bad, by all means, but is not something I enjoy. It’s actually a testament to the writer that she is so competent that all the other elements were enough to keep me invested. It wasn’t offputting, but it did sometimes take me out of the narrative.
My biggest issue was the coupled words and the abbreviations. They are things that are banned in my classroom. I have no reason for it, other than I think I’m getting old.

However, leaving my grumpy aging arse aside; the writing is very current and one that the intended readers will love and it enables those readers to engage with Bella further.

 

No Safer Place Book Club
The wonderful Zoe over at  http://www.nosaferplace.co.uk/ is holding a chat today at 6pm over on Twitter. Use the hashtag #nspBookClub, introduce yourself and come join us for an hour of fun, chat and bookish geekery.

Check out Hannah’s blog post about the Book Club here

credit Zoe

Designated Survivor Series 2 Episode 1 (One Year In)

Designated Survivor Series 2 Episode 1 (One Year In)
Netflix air date: 28th September 2017
From IMDB: Now, one year into office, Kirkman is a Commander-in-chief determined to rebuild the capitol and capture the terrorists behind the catastrophic attack on the United States. When Ukrainian nationalists hijack a Russian Air flight, the president is faced with a hostage situation in which his diplomatic skills are put to the test.

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I’m not one for politics. Office politics, politics of the heart, actual politics. So it’s rather odd that I’ve found myself very excited when I got an alert to tell me this show was ready to watch this morning.

I got into the Kiefer Sutherland fronted show during a weekend trip to Copenhagen. Myself and a friend had made the most of what we discovered was ‘bottomless’ wine at our hotel’s reception. Their cunning plan worked; at the end of the hour we purchased a whole bottle, put our world weary feet in the tub and watched the first four episodes of this epic show. By the time we landed back in the UK 27 hours later, I was up to speed and awaiting the weekly updates.

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So now, we’re one year in and Kirkman has changed. His wardrobe is smoother, classier than the pilot. He has grown in confidence and, damn, I like it. We get a glimpse of his daily life in Office before being shuttled right in as if we haven’t left.

Over the Pond in Amsterdam, Hannah is hot on the tail of wanted man; Patrick Lloyd. At first I’m thinking that it’s nice to see Maggie Q’s agent Hannah Wells with her hair down. Only, very quickly we discover she’s still working the mission.
Her target is discovered to be a mistaken identify and she intones “You’re a Brit pretending to be Dutch.”

Only I’m scratching my head, because I know this bloke is neither. I recognise him and I don’t know where from. However, I knew he was Australian. A quick IMDB search; ding, ding, ding it’s Frazer from Neighbours.

Back to the White House where the problem between rivalling Russia and Ukraine is reaching fever pitch. There’s a nice little pun thrown in by the Russian diplomat; “We don’t cry uncle.”

Kal Penn’s Seth is seemingly having a tough time. I’m a little sad because he’s sporting some facial fuzz and he’s one of very few crushes that I prefer clean shaven. Seth has a rather middle ground sort of episode, but rallies in the end with a moving speech.

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New comer character Lyor Boone is introduced early on and it doesn’t take long for me to loath him with a passion. By the time he utters the words ‘Oh hey gang…’ I am hoping there’s a fiery death in his future.

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About halfway through I’ve realised that the Russia hijacking plot is essentially the Humperdink plot from Princess Bride; Florin using Guilder guise to purposely start a war. It’s genius, and possibly happens more than we think.

When Kirkman discovers this and confronts both, he is able to speak fluent Russian. While part of me did a little fist pump at the fact that Tom Kirkman isn’t blindsided. However, I’m also a bit worried that it encroached into Mary Sue territory. Too perfect, too coincidental. Such a shame as I would have loved for a line to be dropped in the previous series. Ah well, no more please.

We end on a cliff-hanger; Hannah is looking in the wrong place for Llyod.

The Potion Diaries #bookreview #hanreview

The Potion Diaries #bookreview #hanreview

Release date: 2.7.2015

From Amazon: The Hunger Games goes Princess Diaries in this modern, magical teen adventure!
When the Princess of Nova accidentally poisons herself with a love potion meant for her crush, she falls crown-over-heels in lovewith her own reflection. Oops. A nationwide hunt is called to find the cure, with competitors travelling the world for the rarest ingredients, deep in magical forests and frozen tundras, facing death at every turn. Enter Samantha Kemi – an ordinary girl with an extraordinary talent. Sam’s family were once the most respected alchemists in the kingdom, but they’ve fallen on hard times, and winning the hunt would save their reputation. But can Sam really compete with the dazzling powers of the ZoroAster megapharma company? Just how close is Sam willing to get to Zain Aster, her dashing former classmate and enemy, in the meantime? And just to add to the pressure, this quest is ALL OVER social media. And the world news. No big deal, then.
‘It’s so cool!’ Zoe Sugg, aka Zoella
‘Inventive, romantic, and downright delightful, The Potion Diaries cast its spell on me from page one, and is the most fun I’ve had reading in ages!’ Sarah J Maas, author of the Throne of Glass series
Buy it here
Goodreads 

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My first thoughts

Such a beautiful, wonderful and sweet read. It felt like it belonged in a world with Howl’s Moving Castle. It was a lovely commuter read; good to pick up and quick chapters meant that I could stop without jolting the action.

The Characters

I initially struggled because of the protagonist’s name. However, once I got over that bit of mind-shit, I fell in love with her. Her loyalty and pride were what struck me first.
Even when she gave up, she never truly was defeated. I loved it and her voice. I willed her to win and find her place within the world.
Princess Evelyn was an interesting character while under the spell of a misused love potion. While it did seem jarring at first, I was grateful to be shown the inner workings of her thought process while falling in love with her own reflection.

The Plot

The plot is a joyous McGuffin filled adventure. Samantha becomes a Indiana Jones icon who aims to save the princess. Each item required for the potion comes with its own challenges.
Along the way, Samantha teams up with a wide array of friends, foes and locals. It’s never boring and keeps you on your toes.

The Writing

The writing is easy and light, ensuring you never lose your way and can pick up after a brief pause; not that you’ll want to if you can help it.
It’s world building will have you ordering the other books in the series before you’ve finished the last page.

Mental Health- Isolation and the Monster within

Mental Health- Isolation
Trigger warnings- depression, sexual abuse, PTSD

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Some of you are aware, I have been avoiding social media for the last few days. Few of you know what caused it. There is a list of 2 people that knew I intended to leave social media for good and leave the world of YA literature; something that all know has caused me some comfort following the escape from Dick.

Luckily, those two beautiful souls were able to make me see sense and open up to other people, who made me rethink my stance. You see, as I pushed them away, they pulled me back. These two wonderful people are very new to my life. They don’t know my fucked up nature or that I don’t respond like a ‘normal’ person.

So, when I perceive that I am being considered by other people as a nasty person, a bitch, enemy or even, as I felt in this case, a monster; I will punish myself. I unravel and lose all composure. I do so in the worst possible way, as it does incredible damage to my mental health; I isolate myself and it hurts.

So, on Wednesday evening upon returning home and having a panic attack I decided I had to hide away. Despite attending an event I was looking forward to and meeting Holly Bourne, a highly regarded author I’ve waited 3 years to meet I was painfully and unbelievably broken. I broke hard and fast and I cried until I fell asleep. I cried until my eyes were puffy and the eyelids were translucent. I hadn’t even cried like this about Dick; probably because deep down I knew him being removed from my life was a blessing and despite there being a connection to him within the YA community, I saw it as a lotus blooming out of the murky pond. How wrong I was.

I don’t know how I got up that morning and couldn’t bring myself to see people in work. I cried even more whenever I had 5 minutes or more alone. It was a busy day and this was the last thing I needed. I felt like my world was falling, crumbling around me; people who didn’t even know me had made a judgement that I was no good. Perhaps a bully, perhaps evil; I guess I will never know but I know I’d been feeling ostracised and it was confirmed on Tuesday. These were people I thought were part of a safe place, free of judgement or prejudice. It sucks that my joining the community coincided with my leaving Dick, but I was forbidden by him. Not that it matters; it was about me, not him. I never brought him up, she did. Talking about him was the last thing I wanted.  I just wanted a home and a welcome. It didn’t even have to be from her. It doesn’t matter who they are, or what parts are true. I don’t know how many of the community she’s told, or even what. Just that from some of the treatment, it wasn’t exactly positive. I’m not even angry, I don’t blame her; I’m just so very sad that without any communication I’m the one who gave up the community. I’ve made a sacrifice for her, yet I’ll still be seen as the bitch to them all. It’s how I feel, and that’s all that matters to me right now.

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I went to my counselling session on Thursday having cried all day, cut myself off from Facebook, Twitter and even my phone. I couldn’t tell him why this had happened; all I could say was that I’d been ignored by an individual since YALC and now others felt I was the one causing pain and suffering. He knew it all; my first ever session was all about Dick; how he had led me down this path, how he’d given me permission to contact his ex (he didn’t care and thought it would help me.) then screamed in my face that I was a ‘fucking freak’ when he found out I had.
All I could tell my counsellor was that it hurt that it had gone so badly, that I’d regretted approaching her before hand, but knew it would have been worse if I hadn’t we’d made friends and she eventually found out. I also informed him, in a pitch that only dogs could hear, that the community’s actions reinforced an idea that I deserved this treatment; that they’d seen the monster within me I’ve tried so hard to hide. That I’m of no value.

I do it all the time.

I run away, or people tell me I’m a bitch and I go into my punishment of solitude. Usually this is a result of one thing; I get tired of being walked all over. I find it hard to express my frustration and I walk away, or I speak my mind and I become the bitch.

I actually asked him if it was possible that I was a victim of some Dr Jekyll/ Mr Hyde. That perhaps that I black out and act like a heinous bitch without me knowing. That maybe I had done something wrong. That I do all my selfless acts and never waver because I am that horrible person deep inside.

You’re probably thinking, what the hell? Why, if it’s clear I’m not in the wrong, or even if there is NO ONE to blame (other than Dick, because God knows what he’s said to her) like with this week’s conflict that resulted in my diminished mental health, do I punish myself?

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The reason is this; even when I’m right, I’m wrong. It’s something that have followed me through life from one extremely traumatic event from my childhood.

I was sexually assaulted when I was 8 years old. It would have been so simple had it been an adult that had inflicted the act. My life would have been different had the attacker been male and of any age. But my assault was not that simple. It was not that clean; and therefore, not seen as an assault.

Instead, it was a girl who was only a year older than myself. I was seen as complicit; a consentual act but not something innocent or playful. Except it wasn’t consentual, it wasn’t something innocent and it wasn’t the first time. It was just the time that someone saw and told.

I was never asked to explain what happened and once I was punished it was never spoken of again. I was placed in my room and not allowed to speak to anyone; summer holidays were spent away from people my own age. All because of fear and an act of homophobia. I hadn’t known or understood what happened to me and it was only about 2 years ago I registered the incident as sexual assault.

If you went to school with me, you’ll have thought I was always stand offish and a little dreamy. However, between this incident and being told any boy you brought home was dead meat; it was easier to just keep to myself. I didn’t want to be punished again and I didn’t want any boys to be killed.

So, whenever I’m treated badly, or as if I’m the bad guy (no matter how big or small); I assume it’s because I deserve it. It hurts and the part of me that’s screaming ‘fuck this shit, you’ve done nothing wrong, you’re a fucking peach. Get a grip and throw them the finger.’ Is so unbelievably confused that it draws me into my depression. I hate that people do often believe so easily that I can be so horrible. I say sorry if someone barges into ME for Christs sake! It’s exhausting, it’s lonely and it’s heart-breaking. My answer is often to be nicer, kinder and more generous yet it doesn’t work.

Especially when I opened up to Dick and told him all this. I told him everything; yet he’s not only abandoned me, turned one person against me, but his actions and lies have probably turned a whole community against me.

The biggest part I gained out of my counselling session was that I was perhaps right going forward to avoid any connection to Dick, but I should not delete my blog or shut myself off from the people who have been reaching out. That if any further attempt is made to smear my name, I have every right to stand up for myself. We both agreed that wouldn’t happen until I’m stronger though and start to gain some self-worth.

On top of that, the remainder of my sessions will be considering why I don’t see any value in myself. Why I considered answering the twitter plea of a spare ticket to the event and give the Holly Bourne ticket to a random person I’d never met with no benefit to myself other than I knew it would make her happy (and that I was already feeling uncomfortable going because o); why I would keep a relative stranger (she’s now one of my closest friends) company while she waited in A and E one Friday evening after meeting her for only an hour and why I would not put myself forward for a job promotion so that the man I had a crush on would be guaranteed it then complete all the work for him, getting nothing for it.
Yet, when it comes down to it, I feel like the best gift I could give everyone would be not to exist at all. Yet, the selfless part of me stops me from doing anything that would take my life. Mainly because I’d only do it is God would give my remaining days to someone much loved and missed from heaven.

I don’t know how this article will be met. Please respect the fact that I don’t want my treatment on Wednesday explored or the people involved identified. I have come to a point where I certainly don’t want anything to do with Dick’s ex. I have no energy to ‘clear the air’ or listen to why she so clearly hates me. I have no respect for anyone who would not wait to get to know me before making any judgement and constructively making me feel excluded.

Most importantly, I don’t want the same thing to be done to them. I don’t know them well enough to identify most people in the community as nice or nasty; I’m not Santa and I don’t have a list. I will never name them and those who do know, respect me enough not to discuss it.

You will find my presence much more infrequent over the next month. This is quite a revealing post and has come at a great cost to myself. I’m now in need of an evening to myself, good book in hand and a cuppa on my bedside table. I have allowed Dick to take the joy of films away from me, I will not let him take reading away from me by proxy.

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