Category: Movie reviews

The Book of Clarence (2023)

I wouldn’t have let you drown. But now I have to crucify you.

Rating 15
Length 2h09
Release 11.10.2023 (BFI London Film Festival)
Director Jemmies Samuel
About A down-on-his-luck man struggles to find a better life for his family while fighting to free himself of debt. Captivated by the power and glory of the rising Messiah, he risks everything to carve his own path to a divine life, ultimately discovering that the redemptive power of belief may be his only way out.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch:
Trailer:

The Good

It’s difficult not to compare this to Monty Python’s The Life of Brian, and it exactly what made the Python’s film (and Kevin Smith’s Dogma) great that allows this to succeed too.
It’s an incredible, clever, film that can be read on many levels. While we follow someone attempting to emulate Jesus, much in a similar way to LoB, there’s so many elements of Biblical truth to be seen within its run time.
For example, the discussion of Mary’s ‘virginity’ and a particularly funny dialogue about etymology: *chef’s kiss*.

You will know this from the trailer alone, Jesus is finally not the blue-eyed white guy of Hollywood. That’s not to say that this film doesn’t acknowledge, or attempt to explain, how Jesus looked like prequel Obi Wan.

Clarence’s character arc from blasphemer to believer is stunning and comparable to the conversion of Saul. It’s also the source of much of the humour. None of which is possible without LaKeith Stanfield. It takes a certain talent to successfully act in dramatic roles, and comedic roles, Stanfield is not only able to do both; he’s does both in the one film.

James MacAvoy: His presence is short, but memorable. Oh he absolutely relishes every moment of being a villain.

The Bad

I wish the very beautiful Babs Olusanmokun had a few more scenes than he did. It would have been nice to have seen him use his physical/fighting experience within the scenes he did appear in.

The Ugly

I actually cannot believe I’m saying this, but Benedict Cumberbatch was incorrectly cast. To me at least. While I explained earlier, it is hard not to compare this film to the Python’s silver screened outing, Clarence is not Brian.
Unfortunately, I got the impression Cumberbatch was playing the role as if he was in the 1979 cult classic.
Yes, he got some of my favourite lines, love the character and the inclusion of him in the story as a whole. However, I disliked his delivery. Too hammy and too broad. The biggest shame? He could have knocked this out of the park.

Final Thoughts

Not only is it modern, beautiful and moving, it about bloody time. It also felt sincere in its message of faith. Something that occasionally be lost with the comedic tone.

Poms (2019)

From the Studio That Brought You BAD MOMS and the Producer of BOOK CLUB.

Rating 12
Length 1h31
Release 01.12.2019
Director Zara Hayes
About Elderly women in a retirement community start a cheerleading company but soon get discouraged. However, when their video goes viral on the internet, they decide to take part in a competition.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix
Trailer:

The Good

The cast is brilliant, they’re funny and it’s really good to see some of these heavy hitters together. I’m also a massive sucker for the old folk movies ever since Cocoon and Batteries Not Included introduced me to Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn.

I adore the idea of these older women performing in a cheerleading competition. It sends a strong message of “you’re never too old to fulfil your dreams”

There’s also a beautiful message about intergenerational communication and the role reversal that comes with families. It’s a little bittersweet, but also empowering for all the right people.

The Bad

What happened to the promotion of this movie? It was released in 2019 and I’d never even heard of it. Honestly, that’s the biggest shame because this is the sort of film that’s missing out there among the superheroes and aliens.

The Ugly

You will ugly cry. It’s set up right at the beginning, and you’ll think you can get through it, but just wait …. niagara falls!

Final Thoughts

A perfect Sunday afternoon film when you’re in need of catharsis.

Barbarella (1968) Film Review

The space age adventuress whose sex-ploits are among the most bizarre ever seen.

Rating 15
Length 1h38
Release 18.10.1968
Director Roger Vadim
About Barbarella, an astronaut from the future, is sent on a mission to find and stop an evil scientist whose invention could spell the destruction of the galaxy.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Now TV
Trailer:

The Good

Jane Fonda to many will be known for this “sex kitten” era. For me, she’s a political activist and my main experience is Jean Luc Godard’s Tout Va Bien (1972), the amazing 9 to 5 (1980) and the powerful The Newsroom (2012 – 2014).
This was new, but I can see why this is a stand out role. She’s the Margot Robbie of the 60s and boy does she get a Barbie-esque wardrobe to play with over 90 minutes of screen time and at least 7 costume changes. Good job too, the character also has the Kirk affliction in that the clothes never remain on for long.

It is, intentional or not, funny as fuck! From style, to dialogue and even the plot. It’s Flash Gordon meets Buck Rogers by way of Idiocracy. Add some friends and some booze and I’d imagine it would be even funnier.

The Bad

It’s a bad porn, with cutaway sex scenes and a semblance of a plot? I add the question because that plot, is bad. So so bad. I was incredibly disappointed because for this being such an iconic film, I was expecting so much more.

The Ugly

Obviously there is all of the sex Barbarella has. It’s what gives the tone of porn with plot, 50 Shades of Psychadelic technicolour as it were. It just cheapens what could be an incredibly powerful film.

The other part is the torture and death by sexual assualt. Okay, so it’s call something else to soften the sinister implications but that is what the device, and final act, is. Barbarella is placed in the contraption without consent. Hell, she’s fucking unconscious. The fact that the device brings her pleasure is not the point, and is what makes the scene quite unwatchable because of the underhandedness of the assault. Yes, she also survives, but that again does not diminish the horror.

Final Thoughts

The ending too brutal for me to watch again, even to test my theory that friends and drink will make it funnier. I am also getting very tired of rape being the butt of a joke in films of the 60s and 70s; pretty certain that wasn’t what was meant by “Free love”.

Big Daddy (1999) Film Review

Nature called. Look who answered.

Rating 12
Length 1h34
Release 01.10.1999
Director Dennis Dugan
About An irresponsible Koufax is dumped by his girlfriend for an older man. He adopts a five-year-old boy to impress her. But after spending time with him, he decides to become the father the boy needs.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

I enjoyed the final act court case.

I loved the apartment. For however impractical it was, I want to live in it.

I’ve got to admit, the treating Julian like he’s a dog and just covering pee and vomit with papers was funny. I’ll give the film that.

The Bad

I know the Sprouse twins were only seven, but what directions were they given to have such an appalling performance? There’s a whine they use whenever they speak and it is a performance rather than how they actually speak. So annoying.

Rob Schneider does another Simpsons-esque accent that feels like it’s taking the piss to get a laugh rather than it being a genuinely funny character.

Leslie Mann’s character. Mann can play uptight really well, but this character was… well, it was shit and she absolutely deserves more.

The Ugly

This is one of Sandler’s shouter movies. I’m guessing some audiences find it funny, given it became a staple of his films, but for me it grates and at no point is it funny.

The set up of the plot is mindnumbingly dumb. While Uncle Buck and 3 Men and a baby successful set up a believable situation in which someone unprepared for parenthood is placed in a situation that helps them mature.
However, there’s no real motivation for Sandler’s Sonny to take on a young kid that isn’t his and the inclusion of social services just makes the set up convoluted.

Final Thoughts

This film could have been Uncle Buck meets 3 Men and a Baby, but it falls very short.

50 First Dates (2004) Film Review

Imagine having to win over the girl of your dreams… every friggin’ day!

Rating 12
Length 1h39
Release 09.04.2004
Director Peter Segal
About Henry, against the idea of a committed romance with women, meets Lucy and is smitten with her. She too likes him. But unhappiness visits him when he realises she suffers from short-term memory loss.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

The Barrymore/ Sandler chemistry is still as good as ever. It’s a really sweet love story.

I love the lengths the father and son go to for Lucy to keep her happy and safe.

It’s a typical Happy Madison production, so you know what you’re getting when you  . The standard comedy and at least one shouty rant by Sandler. He’s playing it a little more straight that usual which fits with the tone of the film.

The Bad

This is a really difficult one as I’m aware that Rob Schneider is Filipina on his maternal side. However, it is not so much his own ethnicity, but the performance that makes the role problematic. It’s a brown-face performance, particularly the accent.

The Ugly

The inclusion of Sea World is a really uncomfortable to watch in the light of all that we now know about their treatment of animals. Yes, the movies do have set standards to ensure that the needs of animals are put first and that standards are met in terms of treatment. However, this acts as an advertisement for the zoological institutions and the overall treatment of the animals in captivity are not governed or monitored by the movies.

Final Thoughts

First time of watching it since 2005, and I’m pretty certain I can go just as long before seeing it again.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem (2023) Film Review

Heroes aren’t born. They’re mutated.

Rating PG
Length 1h40
Release 31.07.2023
Director Jeff Rowe & Tyler Spears
About After years of being sheltered from the human world, the Turtle brothers set out to win the hearts of New Yorkers and be accepted as normal teenagers. Their new friend, April O’Neil, helps them take on a mysterious crime syndicate, but they soon get in over their heads when an army of mutants is unleashed upon them.
Moon: full moon at multiple points
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime – with Paramount subscription
Trailer:

The Good

The animation is stunning. Since Spiderverse, other companies have really upped their game when it comes to having a unique animation style.

The characterisation of the quartet is perfect. The turtles are no longer identified by their coloured mask, but each of the brothers has an individual body type that reflects their personality.

Love that the film oozed easter eggs; it was most definitely written by my kind of people who loved the original cartoon tv show. They don’t overwhelm, so people new to the franchise will not feel alienated. Instead they add value to those of us who loved the show growing up.

The soundtrack is amazing.

The Bad

There are some pop culture references that *may* date this film in years to come. While calling the boys “Shrek” will linger, some of the others might not.

The Ugly

Yet another origins story. Bit like the death of Batman’s parents or Uncle Owen, I really would love a TMNT incarnation to forgo the mutation beginnings of our heroes in half shells.

Final Thoughts

I really enjoyed this film, but more than anything it has me craving the original tv show.

The Beanie Bubble (2023) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h50
Release 21.07.2023
Director Frank Coraci
About The unbelievable tale of one of America’s most fascinating phenomena — Beanie Babies. Flashing back to the ’90s and early 2000s, an in-depth look at how the era-defining zeitgeist came to be.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Apple TV
Trailer:

The Good

Our leading ladies are incredible. They command their individual stories and make for engaging heroes.

The story of the beanie baby rise and fall is pretty interesting. There’s an anticipation that is enjoyable because of the fact that we find Ty is a dick and, as an audience, we know how it all ends.

The Bad

There is a simpler, much more linear, story to be told that would have made this a more appealing movie. While the movement through time and between the stories of the three women is clever, it is an alienating device.

Its a slow burn. A little too slow at times, you just don’t realise it because the chopping and changes gives a false sense of progression.

The Ugly

Those fucking cats! How on earth they sold is beyond me. If only people of the 80s realised how shit they were and this uber narcissist would never have been successful.

Zach Galfifianakis without a beard is all kinds of wrong. That man was so attached to his beard, he refused to shave it for Hangover 3. I was so unbelievably distracted for the entire film.

Final Thoughts

Certainly worth a watch, and a trip to a time that I’m certainly not ready to consider nostalgia.

Captain Marvel (2019) Film Review

Discover what makes a her(o).

Rating 12
Length 2h04
Release 08.03.2019
Director Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck
About Amidst a mission, Vers, a Kree warrior, gets separated from her team and is stranded on Earth. However, her life takes an unusual turn after she teams up with Fury, a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney+
Trailer:

The Good

Ben Mendelsohn has a voice I could listen to all day, he also is clearly enjoying his job as the potential big bad that isn’t all that he seems. Through his character we’re given the skrull and their plight. The story arc is incredibly real world and this film lays a strong foundation for further development.

The 1995 setting and music is really wonderful. Not as iconic as Guardians of the Galaxy’s mix tape, but it really grounds the story in the 90s. The only shame of it all is that we don’t get more films in this time frame.

The Bad

One person who is good at playing bad is Jude Law. Once it’s out in the open, Law really hams the role in a way so many others before him should have.

Not so sure how I feel about the inclusion of Ronan. We know that nothing will happen to him in this film because of Guardians, but also his threat of coming back for Carol is empty because we already know what happens to him beyond this film.

The Ugly

CGI Fury and Coulson do not hold up to repeated viewings. Actually, it didn’t hold up the first time. Vast improvements on the dead eyed look from films like Polar Express, but there’s a shininess that stops you from forgetting they are CGI faces.

The timeline hijinks in an attempt at mystery ends up being really annoying. It made the plot convoluted for the sake of it and raised more questions that never really get answered.

Final Thoughts

While it wasn’t such an amazing watch at the time of release, it’s improved greatly under the comparison of the messy and aimless Phase Five.

Great Expectations (1946) Film Review

Moths and all sorts of ugly creatures hover about a lighted candle. Can the candle help it?

Rating U
Length 1h58
Release 26.12.1946
Director David Lean
About A humble orphan boy in 1810s Kent is given the opportunity to go to London and become a gentleman, with the help of an unknown benefactor.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer
Trailer:

The Good

John Mills and Alec Guiness are incredible in their individual rights. I’ve loved them both in anything I’ve watched. However, having them in a film together and sharing scenes is simply delightful.

The film stays rather true to the book, but it also makes some excellent choices when it comes to editing the narrative. Removing sections involving the attack and death of Mrs Joe, allows a much smoother transition from Pip’s childhood and into his adult life.

Young Pip and Joe are both adorably played by their respective actors.

The Bad

For me, the actresses who play Estella are a bit mismatched. I personally preferred the actress playing the younger Estella, so it meant that once the adult appeared, I found it difficult to engage with her. Perhaps more a testament to Jean Simmons good acting than suggesting Valerie Hobson was bad.

The Ugly

The final act felt a little rushed and lacking in detail; particularly the last few character connections that would have all the separate narratives woven together finally.

There is a

Final Thoughts

A near perfect film with such incredible cast; up there with Its a Wonderful Life and A Matter of Life and Death.

Game Night (2018) Film Review

Is that a knife in your bullet hole?

Rating 15
Length 1h33
Release 02.03.2018
Director John Francis Daley & Jonathan Goldstein
About When Max and Annie play a harmless murder mystery game with Max’s brother Brooks and some friends, things begin to take surprising twists and turns as not all is what it seems to be.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: BBC IPlayer
Trailer:

The Good

Jesse Plemons as the creepy neighbour. He can play stupid really well, but his creepy is another level. Like, serial killer sort of creepy. And it’s played so straight that makes it even funnier.

I love Ryan! Best pretty but dumb in a film in a long while.

Sharon Horgan is the MVP of the whole film. The tone she uses all the way through just makes all her interactions with everyone, Ryan mostly, a thousand times funnier.

The transition scenes are really cool and make the vehicles and items of focus look miniature.

The Bad

Jason Bateman’s character is typically tightly wound. Unfortunately here it’s to the point that you wonder how they have a regular standing game night for this premise to work. Not a chance would I put up with the expectation and restrictions he has in place. I hate those type of people when playing games.

The Ugly

I hate the sibling conflict that appears in this film, and many other films. One who plays the passive aggressive card to put the other down until it reaches a fever pitch. It’s not a funny thing to watch and having the person who is put down not believed only to forgive the sibling by the end.

The problem with these set ups in which the protagonists don’t know what they’re involved in is real, is that their actions become cringeworthy.

Final Thoughts

It’s no Horrible Bosses, but it’s not a disastrous watch.

Bottoms (2023) Film Review

You don’t care about feminism. Your favorite show is Entourage!

Rating 15
Length 1h32
Release 03.11.2023
Director Emma Seligman
About Unpopular best friends PJ and Josie start a high school fight club to meet girls and lose their virginity. They soon find themselves in over their heads when the most popular students start beating each other up in the name of self-defense.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

Ruby Cruz, Kit of the Willow tv show, shows another layer to her acting in her vulnerable, humorous, outlier. While I would give anything for season 2 and 3 of Willow, I’m happy to see Cruz in something. There’s something familiar and androgynous about the role of Hazel. Almost like the love child of Buffy’s Oz, Stranger Things’ Robin and Ghostbuster’s Egon.

This film is bat shit crazy in the best way. It’s funny, delves into real issues and goes to the extreme when needed. The final act is so unhinged that you have no choice but to go with it.
This is Booksmart, meets Jawbreaker by way of Jennifer’s Body and Metal Lords. I could list more because the setting and the story is ultimately familiar, yet there’s a unique and fringe quality that gives this an edge.

Alo Edebiri is proving there will be life after The Bear. Awkward but leader-worthy is currently her niche, and much like the Emmy winning show, she plays it really well.

The music is on point. It’s up there with Clueless and 10 Things I Hate About You for soundtracks you’ll want to listen to.

The Bad

The trope of building something up from a lie.
It’s a little tired because as soon as it starts, there’s only one way it can end. I really just wish there’s a way of having this film without that plot thread, or a subversion of our expectation upon the reveal.

The Ugly

The adults in the film totally suck. They’re terrible teachers, parents…. hell they’re terrible adults. As rubbish as they are though, it allows for everything to take place. Just prepare to hate all the adults and just roll with it. The minute you start questioning anything, the whole pack of cards fall down.

Final Thoughts

A brilliant, bat shit crazy movie that will not be everyone’s cup of tea.

Book Club: The Next Chapter (2023)

We’re on this trip, not because of fate, but because we’re best friends for fifty years.

Rating 12
Length 1h48
Release 12.05.2023
Director Bill Holderman
About Four best friends take their book club to Italy for the fun girls’ trip they never had. When things go off the rails, and secrets are revealed, their relaxing vacation turns into a once-in-a-lifetime cross-country adventure.
Moon: full moon during the evening meal
Where to Watch: Now TV
Trailer:

The Good

The four friends are well cast and it’s fun to see them take on a ‘trip abroad’ that normally would be teens or young adults. It allows for slightly different age-related tropes.

The presentation of Covid-19 was really well done and a good way to start the film and catch up with the four leads. However, I would say the rest of the proceedings do sort of move on as if there’s no further issue, but then again that is typical for society today.

It’s nice to have both Giancarlo Giannini (Bond) and Hugh Quarshie (Star Wars Prequels) on board to woo the ever wonderful Candice Bergen.

The Bad

There’s a tense threat that the tight-knit group is going to have a falling out that never transpires. As a result of this film being so loyal to its predictable plotting, it leaves the audience tense with expectation.

I don’t care that it is a fake out; Mary Steenburgen doesn’t cheat and I hate that even for a second I had to envision an ending where she has to break Craig T Nelson’s heart. Not funny. Not funny at all.

The Ugly

It’s all too predictable, and the bits that weren’t obvious were made as such by deliberate narration. Yes, there’s some comfort in it, but not all was necessary. It also makes the fake-outs predictable too.

Final Thoughts

An easy, offence-less, plot by numbers sequel.