Jupiter Ascending- 12a

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I actually don’t know where to start with this movie. Firstly, I try not to rehash the plot in my reviews. However, it’s hard not to when it’s the films main failing.
Secondly, I hate to trash a movie as I doubt very much that I could do a better job. But trash it I must, because I almost walked out in the last twenty minutes.
The good
Well the cast is good. Leads Mila Kunis and Channing Tatum are beautiful and the chemistry is there. It wins bonus points for assembling some amazing British talent to flesh out the cast. Sean Bean and his northern tones are a nice addition, but is merely an extended cameo.
I must confess, I wanted Eddie Redmaye to be awful. I wanted him to be on the Razzie list this year. Not because I don’t like the man, I just like that balance- ‘Oscar noms aren’t perfect’. I was also curious if he’d handle it with as much grace as Sandra Bullock did for her Blind Side/ All About Steve book-end awards. Redmayne still might to be fair; it’s a far cry from Theory of Everything and he doesn’t seem to be enjoying the role nearly as much as he should. However, I liked the restrained, gravely pitch of his speech.
There are some beautiful set pieces but they are underused, The costumes are stunning but are the biggest indication that the plot has no grounding.

The bad
The editing is shocking. The first conversation between Tatum and Kunis have them sitting in different poses between camera angles. The 3d conversion is poor and may leave viewers with a headache.
I spent the first third of the movie wanting to get into space, and then the rest of it wanting to be in the screen next door watching Shaun the Sheep the Movie with screaming kids.
The action scenes are fast and blury to the point of nausea and there are way too many slow mo’s, even from the creators of the most iconic slow mo going.

The Ugly
The plot. Oh the plot. Reincarnation, family feud and just a sprinkling of incest. There’s too many characters being crammed into the story and no one is really developed.
There feels like there have been key scenes edited out which will make the plot a little smoother, which is a shame because this should have and could have been a smart film.

Oh… And watch out for the moment where you want Mila to belt out ‘yipee kiyay….’ You know the rest.

Cast- 8
Cinematography- 6
Music- 7
Plot- 2
Pace- 3
Enjoyability- 4

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