Category: 1990

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990)

Rating PG
Length 1h35
Release 23.11.1990
Director Steve Barron
About A quartet of humanoid turtles, trained by their mentor in ninjitsu, must learn to work together to face the menace of Shredder and the Foot Clan.
Moon: full moon while waiting for pizza delivery
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

The puppetry is amazing. Of course it is, it’s Henson productions. The Turtles are only surpassed for me by the full on puppet of Splinter. The characterisation of the team is spot for me.

The Bad

I’m not quite so sure what the plot is?! Shredder ratnaps Splinter, but he doesn’t know who Splinter is? What was the motivation? Why were the Foot stealing random shit? Too many questions about the story arc really and it stops me being entirely invested.

Not a fan of this iteration of April and I never thought I would say there’s a worse choice for one of my favourite characters than Megan Fox.

The Ugly

It’s really dark. Both physically and tonally. While it isn’t the modern ‘so dark you can’t see anything’, there’s still no reason for it to be as dark as it is. It’s probably why, despite this being one of my favourite shows growing up, I have only seen the film once before today.
Add to that, the violence, it does seem to indicate that the creatives weren’t too sure who they were targeting audience wise.

Final Thoughts

Nostalgia is sometimes left in the past. While I’m glad I took a rewatch, I can also see why this was not something that my parent’s allowed me to have on repeat.

Gremlins 2: A New Batch (1990) Film Review

Rating 12a
Length 1h46
Release 27.07.1990
Director Joe Dante
About A group of malicious Gremlins take over a high-tech corporate skyscraper belonging to a media baron. They wreak havoc throughout the building while the Mogwai try hard to regain control.
Moon: None sighted
Where to Watch: Now
Trailer:

The Good

  • Everything about the tone of this movie I love. From the distribution animation and the argument between Daffy and Bugs, to the mid-film cut out because the Gremlins were wanting to watch Snow White. I have always love the meta, self referential, films. Probably because this was the first one.
    On that note, there are so many nods to criticism to the previous film and I love the passive aggressive tone.
  • This film almost does what Alien and Aliens did and made this almost a completely different genre to the darker, horror led original.
  • I didn’t remember Christopher Lee being the lead scientist, but adult me was very excited. This is similar to Alan Rickman appearing in Dogma; it’s nice to see someone have fun and a little unexpected.
  • The new Gremlins that appear in this film are creative, funny and gives this film an easy way to not fall into the same plot of the previous film. Plus, we get a Gremlin who is intelligent and can talk, one that is able to go outside and a Miss Piggy- type rival female Gremlin.

The Bad

  • Kate isn’t my favourite character and while I love Mr Futterman, I’m not sure I buy him, and his wife, being in New York the way they are. I personally would have preferred to have had Corey Feldman’s Pete, but I guess 1990 wasn’t the greatest time for him and he may not have been available.

The Ugly

  • For such a short film, it takes a good long while to get going and the way in which everyone ends up in the same place feels a little convoluted.
  • It’s unrealistic. No, hear me out. Daniel Clamp is based upon Donald Trump. You know for a god damn fact that if it was Trump; New York would have been overrun within 24 hours.

Final Thoughts

Unpopular opinion, but I prefer this one to the original movie. It really is so much fun and entertaining.

Tremors (1990) Halloween Advent

Rating 15
Length 1h36
Release 29.6.2012
Director Ron Underwood
About A small town gradually becomes aware of a strange creature which picks off people one by one. But what is this creature, and where is it? At the same time, a seismologist is working in the area, she detects _tremors_. The creature lives underground, and can ‘pop up’ without warning. Trapped in their town, the town-folk have no escape.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix and Amazon Prime
Trailer:

Trick

  • Near the start, before you ever really know what’s going on (except you do because that stupid poster spoils it), Rhonda is ‘stalked’ by one of the graboids in typical creature feature fashion. Yep, we get monster eye candy. It’s effective when used well, however in this movie it’s god-damn stupid. Here’s why: those fucking creatures are blind and, even if they had sight, the thing is shown to be underground. Honestly, I can’t say I’ve ever noticed before, but today it really riled me up. For such a clever film, this is just dumb. Hell, it’s almost at odds with the rest of the movie. Once again, studio interference, allowed for this addition.

Treat

  • This is such a clever, tightly plotted, enjoyable movie. Any who studies film should watch this whenever their university covers cause and effect. It’s so well planned that it’s an absolute joy to watch. Things that seem tiny have a massive impact later in the film. Just one example is that Earl and Val are arguing about what job they need to do that day and how Val needs to think ahead and consider which jobs will pay first, they end up in the store where the fridge is needing to be fixed. While Val goes to fix it, Earl reminds him of the conversation they had and they say they’ll get back to it. At first you might think this interaction is just about establishing the character dynamics, but an hour in that fridge comes back into play and really bites them in the ass; some of them literally.
  • Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are the perfect double act. I adore Fred Ward in anything and everything he does. To have his older, wiser Everyman working alongside Bacon’s younger, more impulsive, partner is almost chalk and cheese. Almost like your buddy cops after they’ve learned to work together. It works.
  • Paul Gross and Reba McEntire play their roles perfectly. So much so that it took me years to make the connection of Gross being Ted’s dad in HIMYM, or Reba as THE country singer. Not only do I love the gun obsession, I love the apocalypse preparedness of the couple.
  • The dialogue is brilliant and quotable; you can see why it has become a cult classic. It doesn’t matter how you see this film: cheesy, silly, legitimate creature feature, it gives it all and entertains along the way.

Final Thoughts

For me, this film is up there with Jaws. I shit you not. The story is tight, the visuals are spot on and the characters have you rooting for them.

Bird on a Wire (1990) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h50
Release 19.10.1990
Director John Badham
About Rick is given a new identity by the FBI for helping convict a drug dealing FBI agent. His FBI ‘minder’ is replaced by a corrupt agent who helps the drug dealers and his accomplice locate him.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Netflix (until 14th August)
Trailer:

The Good

  • That final act is worth putting up with any issues with the film. Yes, I’m an animal girl and I love my zoos. However, even if you’re not, you will appreciate the nostalgia, the use and the realness of the animals (although I do believe IMBD is incorrect about its baboon trivia; The Fly (1986) used not one, but two trained baboons) over some of the shoddy CGI used today. Seriously, at one point I gasped because I thought it was a species of tiger that is now extinct.
  • Mel and Goldie have chemistry! I momentarily wished for Kurt Russell, but after about 5 minutes of seeing these two together I was all good.
  • Good ol’ Ned from Groundhog Day. Stephen Tobolowsky is part of the bad guy group and it was actually really cool to see him in something with a supporting role, rather than the bit parts he seems to have here and there.

The Bad

  • The start of the movie feels really sluggish. It is *almost* worth the pay off, but this film certainly didn’t have me drawn in right from the get go. As it’s described as akin to It Happened One Night (1934), it really needs to be shit hot from the very start and it really isn’t.

The Ugly

  • There’s two Goldie Hawn’s in this movie. It’s Prince of Thieves all over again for me. He character is set up as this badass who goes toe to toe with all these blokes. Then she meets her old beau and its all screams and tears.
    Don’t set women up, to make them weak and docile when the protagonist shows up. Big mistake. Massive pet hate.
  • What the fuck is with the kissing in Hollywood in the 90s?! Was that window-washing head tilting side to side really how people kissed?!

Final Thoughts

Pretty Woman (1990)

Rating 15
Length 1h 59
Release 1.6.1990
Director Garry Marshall
About Edward, a rich entrepreneur, hires Vivian, a prostitute, to accompany him to a few social events. Trouble ensues when he falls in love with her and they try to bridge the gap between their worlds.

The Good

  • Its Pygmalion. Okay, so for those unfamiliar with that one, its My Fair Lady. It is the ‘fairytale’ that Vivian speaks of. She’s down on her luck and Edward gives her a dream week. I mean, prostitution aside, who hasn’t ever wanted to be given someone else’s money and be told to ‘go to town’?
  • The music and the score as wonderful and it is the song choices that are what bring emotion to this film. There’s contemporary beats along with that crooner classic Pretty Woman. Such a genius choice that has become almost as iconic as that necklace scene.
  • The MVP for this, and many Garry Marshall pieces, is Hector Alizondo. I love the developing friendship between himself and Vivian and I almost wish we’d gotten more. He’s one of the more accepting of Vivian and least judgemental. I love how he helps her and you can see his pride.

The Bad

  • I hate the whole business plot. I feel as if it was written to fit around everything else and it shows.
  • I am really frustrated with how well developed Edward is at the beginning, but his walls are too easily pulled down. I know true love, blah blah blah. However Robert’s is as Vivian, I just don’t buy how fast paced this is, which is brought in by the ticking clock of her being a prostitute.

The Ugly

  • I’ve never been sold on Richard Gere as the romantic lead. I perhaps thought it was my age, then I figured it was the ‘gerbil story’ (Thanks Scream for that nugget), but I just think he’s not my “type”. However, the story isn’t really about the romance for me. It’s more about how money changes how a person is seen and the social classes, the judgement and the hardship. If the film didn’t have so much else going for it, then this would have been a real problem for me.
  • It is a fairy-tale. Its so problematic for the message it say about romance. Hell, it even goes so far as romanticising prostitution. Okay, okay… so it isn’t a propaganda recruitment video, but you know what I mean, right?! Viviene is clean cut, drug-free and without a pimp. Who knows about cars, ties and in the space of 6 days gets Edward to evolve. Yes, movies are about suspending belief, but that isn’t romance, that’s Stockholm syndrome and as about as romantic as Romeo and Juliet.
  • “I’ll do anything except kiss on the mouth” What the actual fuck? So you’ll do anal before kissing someone on the mouth? It’s frustrating to pick this out, because it totally went over my head as a kid (and I mean kid. I was watching this in like 1994), but what impression does that give to women?! Maybe I’m thinking too deeply, but I just find it a stupid rule.

Final Thoughts

I will always have a soft spot for one of my mum’s favourite films. however, I don’t buy the romance and I don’t root for that happy ending.

Arachnophobia (1990)

Rating: PG
Length: 1h 49
Release: 4.1.1991
Dir: Frank Marshall
About: Dr James Atherton moves to a small town and witnesses a series of unexplainable deaths of the locals. Upon investigating, he discovers that a flock of spiders are responsible for it.

First Thoughts

I remember watching this as a kid and being scared. I remember watching it a few times. I’m not sure it was one we recorded onto a tape, but we’d watch it if it came on tv. There are certain scenes that have stuck in my memory (the shower) and have been replaying in my head ever since I decided it was time for a rewatch. I’d never watched this film alone, so that was… fun!

The Good

  • The story is actually really cool and I totally didn’t remember. New doctor comes to small town to replace older doctor. As with small town politics, Ross Jennings struggles to win over the confidence of the residence. It’s not very helpful, then, when the other newcomer (South American spider) starts killing the only people on the good Doc’s side. I love that there are elements that make Ross even doubt himself, but also that he is able to stand his ground.
  • John Goodman’s character is a brilliant addition and brings some levity to this very scary film. His presence is accompanied by this jovial music that is a complete contrast to the rest of the movie. As someone who is on edge, I am so grateful for this.
  • If you want a scary movie, this is the big daddy of them all. If you’re afraid of spiders that is. No cartoonish Freddie, no man in a painted up Shatner mask. Just something that most of us are afraid of just as they are. This one has a killer bite too. It has everything; jump scares, those slow builds the viewer sees coming but the victim doesn’t and even the fake out. It’s the biggest roller-coaster in the genre.
  • Chekhov’s gun is a bottle of wine. Okay, so it might be that I had a vague memory of the final act, but I do enjoy putting the pieces together and making predictions.

The Bad

  • Not really this film’s fault, but I’m getting really sick of animal POV in these creature features. However, this one gets the added mention because of how messy it actually is. As it happens when the bird picks it up, it’s actually unclear as to which animal the pov is coming from.
    Just stop with the POV. It doesn’t add anything to the film and it feels a little like reading homework that’s been copied from wikipedia.

The Ugly

  • I’m not a fan of the 20 minutes it takes to get to the small town. It’s a little too much of a ball ache set up and based upon how the spiders are collected, I feel bad for the first victim. You have these dicks who kill all these insects in the name of ‘discovery’, but its the man who doesn’t seem to really want to be there that gets it in the neck. With this sort of beginning, I feel like it should have developed more into a ‘creature from the black lagoon’ sort of plot. Or, tighten up that opening completely; five minutes tops and have that spider rushing for the airport, so to speak.

Final Thoughts

I’ve never been so scared watching a film in my entire life. During one scene I actually pulled off my glasses to stop myself from seeing the screen. However, I am proud of myself for watching it and I have to admit, it’s a well made film.

IT (1990)

Rating 15

Length 3hr 12

Release 18.11.1990 (no UK date given)

About In 1960, seven preteen outcasts fight an evil demon that poses as a child-killing clown. Thirty years later, they reunite to stop the demon once and for all when it returns to their hometown.

The Good

  • Tim Curry is unrecognisable and perfectly chilling as Pennywise. The film also makes use of ITs ability to shape shift which adds to the horror.
  • Presenting the story as it does in the book; revealing the past as the characters remember makes it a smoother narrative.
  • They stay together, the adults I mean. Not splitting up which is against every horror rule going like the new film.
  • John Ritter! The late, great John Ritter is one of the better casting choices and it was wonderful to see him in a horror role that didn’t scare the bejesus out of me (my first experience of Ritter was playing Ted in Buffy and it’s taken me a long time to warm to the actor as a result). I was expecting him to take on the role of Richie, so I was surprised to see that it was Ben. One that he did very well.

The Bad

  • Much like the film, it’s too long. It was intended to air as two episodes and that might have improved things, but I am certainly leaning towards the opinion that I’m no longer a fan of films that go much beyond the 2Hr mark.
  • Richard Thomas was a good choice for Bill, but whoever had the idea to give him the hair needs to not work in movies! Also, he surprisingly didn’t have the leader power I expected him to have. Yes it’s an ensemble, but he is the leader of the Losers and the actor should have a presence of that.

The Ugly

  • It simply wasn’t scary enough. Perhaps this is a version that was hyped way too much over time, but I was bored. Possibly even more so than when I read the book, if that’s even possible.

Final Thoughts

A mini series for its time and not something I’ll rush to watch again. Time has not been kind to the scares and perhaps the subtlety and restraint of Curry’s performance does not match the expectations brought about by modern horrors.

Christmas Film Advent- Home Alone (1990)

Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny?

Length– 1Hr 43

Rating– PG

About– When bratty 8-year-old Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) acts out the night before a family trip to Paris, his mother (Catherine O’Hara) makes him sleep in the attic. After the McCallisters mistakenly leave for the airport without Kevin, he awakens to an empty house and assumes his wish to have no family has come true. But his excitement sours when he realizes that two con men (Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern) plan to rob the McCallister residence, and that he alone must protect the family home.

First Thoughts

My first memory of this film was my choice of seeing the second one for my birthday being vetoed by my mother. You can’t see a sequel without seeing what precedes it. Of course this was the days before prequels and the 1990 outing had yet to grace terrestrial tv so I lucked out and went to see Aladdin instead.

When Home Alone eventually did make its way to channel 4, it was at a time when films started at 8pm, but my bed time was 9pm. This sticks in my memory as one of those films that my mum bent the rules in order to see it in its entirety.

Over the years, I think I took this film for granted and it was only when I went to the Prince Charles Cinema for a Christmas Pyjama Party marathon that I really began appreciating this film again. Seeing it on the big-ish screen with about 70 other geeks made the film shine and new again. That said, I haven’t watched it since so I am curious as to how I’ll feel.

Naughty List

Kevin McCallister is a little shit. I hate him and wouldn’t have blamed the parents if they had left him at home on purpose. For me, I could have done with Kevin’s saltiness tuned down. As Macaulay got the role because of his performance in Uncle Buck, I’d have liked to have seen him closer to that performance. Perhaps seeing him with a friend would give the audience something other than moody, privileged knob.

Not sure I like the dad. He’s too cool about the whole situation. There’s a Buzzfeed or something out there explaining why he’s the true villain of the story and I have to agree. When there’s Uncle Frank, his wife and other adults; why isn’t daddy McCallister offering to go with his wife?

I could do without Uncle Frank. He’s just the wrong shade of nasty and with an already soured first act, I could have done without his money grabbing comments.

The mother’s journey is a little too Trains, Planes and Automobiles for me and I hate the fact that the rest of the family get there at the same time. It removes any importance of her journey.

Nice List

This film has all the right names attached; Chris Columbus, John Hughes and John Williams. It’s a magic formula of storytelling and music.

As much as I hate Kevin, Macaulay is the ideal actor for this role. Elijah Wood perhaps could have been a contender at the time, but Jurassic Parker Joseph Mazzello, who would have been perfect in the role, was too young at the time. Macaulay brings innocence and intelligence to Kevin.

Harry and Marv are a brilliant, and slightly scary, double act. Their determination to rob the McCallister house sees some of the film’s best set ups and pay off. Then when it comes to that final, slightly implausible, act they’re all in. You almost feel sorry for them both as they are nailed, burnt and pummelled within an inch of their lives.

Old man Marley for me is the winning storyline. The plot is so incredibly heart warming and brings with it a true meaning of Christmas. I love how Kevin gives it to Marley straight. Once he’s gotten over his fear that the neighbour is a serial killer.

Final Thought

It didn’t have the full charm from previous viewings; perhaps I need to leave it longer between viewings to get the full impact. That said, watching on the same day as Uncle Buck makes for good companion watching.