Month: August 2021

Star Wars Episode iii: Revenge of the Sith (2005)

Rating 12
Length 2h20
Release 19.5.2015
Director George Lucas
About Anakin joins forces with Obi-Wan and sets Palpatine free from the evil clutches of Count Doku. However, he falls prey to Palpatine and the Jedis’ mind games and gives into temptation.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

First Thoughts

Prior to 30.8.2021, I had only seen this instalment once before. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if me not liking this was more to do with my memories of the day than the film itself, but I can tell you that it is definately more about the film than the fact my mother wouldn’t let me have a bit of the T-bone steak she’d gotten in for ‘her boys’.

The Good

  • Natalie Portman does an alright job and it was nice to see Jimmy Smits again. Yup, that’s about all I can say. Even that final battle, I briefly thought ‘here we go’ when I saw the lava. However, it never brought it. I feel like I could dub it with the sword fighting scene from Princess Bride.

The Bad

  • That opening. Dark, busy and so much like game play. I’d only watched episode 2 the week before, I should not feel like I’ve missed a film (or two) in between these two stories. I just wasn’t hooked in at all. Taking so long to see a familiar face really didn’t help matters.
  • Christopher Lee is wasted. He was introduced way too late and killed way too soon. It seemed so off that I did some research to see if Lee had refused to commit fully, in a similar fashion to Terence Stamp, but I’ve not seen anything to suggest that. The only thing I can think to explain this, is that stupid rule of two that was mentioned in Phantom Menace and wanting to promote Grievous. Which also doesn’t make sense, because he was in play in the previous film.
  • I think one of the biggest problems is how this doesn’t work as a stand alone trilogy. It ends on too much of a down note- our two surviving Jedi go into hiding, our good guys are dead, our bad guys have won. Our two orphans are split up.

The Ugly

  • There’s nothing more maddening than the evolution of Ani to Vader. Fuck me, we have this privileged white emo punk bitch (who started life a slave, I might add, so saying he comes across ‘privileged’ is really something) who is given THE best black guy voice in the form of James Earl Jones. Yet that punk bitch still shines through with that ‘nooooooooooo’. In part, its the curse of being ‘the chosen one’, but I really feel for anyone who grows up without meeting Vader with the isolation of the original trilogy.
  • George Lucas did not give me a fucking Wookie battle. The presence of the Wookies was, at best, fan lip service. However, my biggest gripe is that it proves that Lucas just needs to shut the fuck up sometimes. Not only did he reveal that Wookies were the original idea for Return, until he decided smaller, cuter, furies would make him more money, he went on to PROMISE us a Wookie battle. So 2005 Hannah had an idea formed in her head of the Endor battle, but with fucking Wookies. I didn’t get it and my love of George Lucas died that day. Even going in without the expectation of Wookie Endor battle, I wasn’t impressed with the inclusion or the promise made my Lucas.
  • The script. Jesus, there are so many dud lines. Was everyone so far up Lucas’ arse that they couldn’t go “Really? Do you not want someone to edit this?” There’s a bit, I cannot for the life of me remember where it comes in the film, but Obi Wan and Ani are in a lift that stops and the following dialogue made the cut:
    “Did you press the stop button?”
    “No, I didn’t press the stop button. Did you press the stop button?”
    NEITHER OF YOU ARE NEAR THE WALLS. You have the FORCE! DID YOU REALLY NEED TO ASK THAT!
    That’s one of the biggest problems. These people are meant to be wise! Yet the script makes them sound like dumb children. Could I do better? Maybe not, but I’d at least pass it around to a few people to EDIT first.
  • HOW, just HOW, did no one crack on to Palpatine being the Sith they were looking for. It felt like panto because we all knew. He wasn’t even really hiding. Also, McDiarmid, you’re a theatrically trained actor for god’s sake… could you be any more ham!

Final Thoughts

I now remember why I’ve not seen this instalment in 16 years. It’s a case of George, the ideas man, really got in his own way and didn’t pass on the directing duties. When it comes to the CGI, this is the worst of the three and more of a ‘they were so preoccupied as to whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.’

Superman (1978) Review

Rating PG
Length 3h8
Release 26.4.2012
Director Richard Donner
About Scientist Jor-El rockets his infant son, Kal-El, to safety on Earth. Kal is raised as Clark Kent and develops unusual abilities and powers to become Superman who fights for truth and justice.
Moon: Full moon as Superman shows Lois ‘a whole new world’
Where to Watch: Own copy
Trailer:

The Good

  • Christopher Reeves makes for an amazing Clark Kent and Superman. Its not often someone can get the duel roles rights. It’s more than the glasses too. It’s posture, tone of voice and even facial expressions. You can understand with Reeves why no one would ever suspect Kent as Superman.

The Bad

  • It is a long and clunky film. It’s an hour before we get to meet Christopher Reeves as adult Clark Kent and even with that, I got the feeling there was more to be told about the teenage life of the man from Krypton. The film on a whole, feels bloated with characters and half stories.
  • Having seen this and the sequel from early childhood and these half-stories made it very easy to get muddled up as to which plot was coming up. Largely to do with the presence of the three Kryptonians that are banished to the Phantom Zone, who don’t reappear until the next movie. I also think I missed Lex Luther’s entrance because of the clunky narrative and my waining attention.

The Ugly

  • Marlon Brando. What on earth was all the fuss about this well known name? Am I missing something about his performances? I’ve seen Apocalypse Now and a few other films and I don’t see ‘greatness’.
    For Superman, Brando comes across as not being there. There’s no emotion in his performance. Given that he was one of the names that was selling the film, it really is a shame.
  • Did we really need Superman to use his powers to check the colour of Lois Lane’s knickers?! For that matter, is Lois Lane really that dumb a reporter to inform the whole world about Superman’s inability to see through lead?!

Final Thoughts

Nowhere near as enjoyable as I remembered it and too flawed for its status as a classic. However, it has a good framework for TV storytelling.

Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (1999)

Rating PG
Length 2h16
Release 15.7.1999
Director George Lucas
About Jedi Knights Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi set out to stop the Trade Federation from invading Naboo. While travelling, they come across a gifted boy, Anakin, and learn that the Sith have returned.
Moon: Full moon during the funeral scene
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

  • On the most part, the cast Lucas put together for this was incredible. From the pitch perfect Ewan McGregor to the recall of people from the original trilogy. This is the best of the prequels and its largely to do with the adult cast and how they are able to work with the woeful dialogue.
  • John Williams is on form with this score. From the reworking of Vader’s march into Anikin’s theme to Maul’s suite that orchestrates that final battle between the Jedi and Sith.
  • Liam Neeson. Ah, how I avoid his films now. Yet, this is the film that sparked my love for the Irish actor. There’s a gravitas he brings to the film that’s akin to what Alec Guinness presented in A New Hope.
  • Short and sweet, but I love the presence of Samuel L Jackson. I can imagine it was something he loved to get and the little we saw allowed the viewers to wish for more.

The Bad

  • Jake Llyod really had a tough job with the script he was dealt. I’m pretty certain there wasn’t a kid out there that could have handled it better. That said, he’s fucking annoying from the get go. The less said about the “are you an Angel?” bullshit towards the handmaiden who will go on to father his children the better.
  • The CGI was hard to watch this time. And probably the last time I watched it too. Even considering when it was made, I feel it was a poor job. A lot of the ships, creatures and backgrounds look more like they’d be at home in an animated film. It’s a shame, because the original trilogy was created with practical effects and they work so much better.

The Ugly

  • Jar. Jar. Binks. Jesus, I hate saying this, knowing how much the hate for the character has impacted upon the health of Ahmed Best. However, Binks, to look at is cute. He’s this trilogy’s Ewoks. Until he opened his mouth. Again, I doubt this is on Best. This will be the workings of the man-child that is Lucas. Binks ruins the film with his inflections and random commentary.
  • “Always two there are, no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.” What utter bullshit is this?! It’s pissed me off more this time because it proves that Kathleen Kennedy was talking out of her arse when she claims that Sidious was in play even in The Force Awakens.

Final Thoughts

Its flawed. At the time, I thought these were the worst thing that happened to Star Wars. I wish I was right about that.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

Rating 12
Length 2h16
Release 26.3.2014
Director Anthony and Joe Russo
About As Steve Rogers adapts to the complexities of a contemporary world, he joins Natasha Romanoff and Sam Wilson in his mission to uncover the secret behind a deadly, mysterious assassin.
Moon: Full Moon at the start of the mission on the ship.
Where to Watch: Disney Plus
Trailer:

The Good

  • This is one of the films that feels a lot different to everything that’s gone before. This is a Marvel Movie with a genre aesthetic. There’s more espionage in this film than 2021’s Black Widow: a film about Nat’s espionage background. Go figure.
  • The action in this instalment is incredible. Case in point, is the elevator scene. Such an iconic sequence now, but even at the time it was a highlight of the film.
  • All the costumes have had a upgrade, even if it was only temporary. Not only are our hero’s suits fitting for the film’s tone, the civilian clothing choices are spot on for the time and some items are still desirable. I personally still want Black Widow’s trainers.
  • The introduction of Sam is joyous. I love how Cap and Sam interact and how much chemistry they have. It’s only through that chemistry that anything that follows is believable.
  • Talking about relationships, at the heart of this instalment is Steve’s long standing relationship with Bucky Barnes. You can feel the heartbreak of Steve when he has to go toe to toe with the revealed Winter Soldier.

The Bad

  • Hill is wasted in this film. She so could , and should, have been used more. It felt too much like lip service, when really she deserves to be much more involved.
  • Some of the action is hard to watch. The camera pans in the opposite direction of the action. While this, as memory serves, works well on a cinematic screen, it here it gives me motion sickness.
  • In 2021, I really did find the attack on Fury by the police very hard to watch. Not the fault of the film, but in the context of the current climate; it will have an impact on viewers.

The Ugly

  • Black Widow’s hair. I know this is probably a stupid gripe, but if you intend to have your main gal have poker straight hair throughout the film, don’t have her wash her hair. I am so irrationally angry that she is seen drying her wavy soggy locks with a towel, only to be seen in the next scene with a salon-worthy blowout.
    This lives rent-free in my head. I think it always will.
  • The ongoing “casual conversation” with Nat trying to set up Cap. Nope, just nope. Don’t need it. Don’t need the set up of Cap and Sharon (which, btw, is ten times worse now the audience have the knowledge of Endgame). In a film that is probably my favourite of the franchise; this one thing sticks out as forced.
  • To quote Fury himself; “this shit is why I have trust issues.” Yet another fake death. Yes, I am impressed that it was revealed to be a fake in this film. However, it’s just once too often and it means that as a viewer I start to lose that feeling of jeopardy. I certainly don’t feel anyone’s loss.

Final Thoughts

Of the nine films of the MCU, this is my favourite. It is a good choice for a one off viewing from the phases and it’s not too long.

The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h54
Release 19.11.1982
Director Collin Higgins
About Miss Mona (Dolly Parton) runs the Chicken Ranch, a brothel with a long history in a small Texas town. The locals have a good relationship with the institution, and Mona is respected in the community. The sheriff, Ed Earl Dodd (Burt Reynolds), also looks out for the Chicken Ranch due to his past with Miss Mona. However, when pious reporter Melvin Thorpe (Dom DeLuise) exposes the brothel, outside interests want it shut down, putting the governor (Charles Durning) in a tough spot.
Moon: full moon in the opening sequence
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

  • Dolly Parton is her amazing self in the role of Mona. I love her chemistry with Burt Reynolds is something I’d love to see in any movie other than this one. When she sings ‘I Will Always Love You’?! It doesn’t matter how checked out of this movie I already was, I cried. Fuck the Bodyguard, this is the best use of that song.
  • The music is catchy and you can’t help but tap along to it. I can imagine this is a better production on the stage than screen.
  • There’s no sex or breasts to be seen. It really is rather tame considering its subject. So, it’s not family friendly, but it certainly isn’t gratuitous either. There’s something to be said about that.

The Bad

  • The antagonist is vile, and creepy and almost panto-esque. Sometimes, you really need a villian that isn’t too obvious from the outset. One that you can understand where they’re coming from. I’m afraid there was no ambiguity here and it feels forced.

The Ugly

  • We wonder how the Me Too movement took so long to be recognised. I certainly do. Then I watch films like this and how they present certain behaviours and I seethe.
    So, this town has a Chicken Ranch (Whorehouse), that has been socially accepted for hundreds of years in this town. Fathers have taken sons for generations. A bit ick at the thought of family members being able to compare notes, but each to their own.
    However, a school football coach taking his team to the Chicken Ranch as a reward for winning their games/season?! Especially when they know the Ranch is getting bad press? Well, that does not sit right with me at all. Can you imagine if that happened today?

Final Thoughts

Not something I’m going to rush to watch again. It’s classy enough, considering its subject however, I’m not a fan of musicals and this still has the feel of a 70s film which, when it comes to musicals, are very much the worst for me.
If you want a musical that has a similar theme, but a better plot and songs; watch either Rock of Ages or Burlesque.

Three O’Clock High (1987) Film Review

Rating PG
Length 1h41
Release 9.10.1987 (USA. No UK release)
Director Phil Joanou
About Preppy high school reporter Jerry Mitchell (Casey Siemaszko) is asked to write a story on a tough new kid named Buddy Revell (Richard Tyson), a boy rumored to have a violent past. Jerry tries to call off the story, but in the process he infuriates Buddy, who challenges him to a parking lot brawl immediately after school that same day. As Jerry desperately attempts to escape the impending fight, he instead ends up finding the courage to stand up to Buddy.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Rental from Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

  • There’s this wonderful western feel about the film. Almost a reworking of The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance or The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. I’d never thought how well suited the High School environment was for the typical Western story.
  • This is such a surprising film. Once you know the director was inspired by Scorsese, you can really see the influence. It works and I’m really glad it didn’t go for the same tone as all the other ‘coming of age’ films.
  • The film being contained to the one day is such a good move. Its only a shame that the film doesn’t set a date so that it could have yearly rematch protentional, much like the brilliant Empire Records and charming Groundhog Day.

The Bad

  • Plot point: Buddy’s whole motivation for wanting to fight Jerry is that “I don’t like people knowing me.” Well, I can see where you’re going wrong. You don’t want people knowing you? STOP FIGHTING PEOPLE!
    I find it so frustrating that he’s the reason why people are so curious about him. It starts before we even see him because of his behaviour in the previous school. Gah, it’s nonsensical and drives me mad. What’s worse is that it is the type of non logical that students do actually use.

The Ugly

  • Two plot points:
    ONE: The English teacher who is kissed by Jerry not only doesn’t give him a detention, but she full on kisses him in front of everyone?! Okay, so its a trope, but this trope must die.
    TWO: Buddy destroys the library, breaks a kid’s nose, punches out the principle and a security guard before he engages in the fight with Jerry. Yet he turns up the next day, no problem. How was that kid not arrested?!

Final Thoughts

I really enjoyed it, despite its faults. I could have done with more Mitch Pileggi, but I’m equally happy with the little I got.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) Film Review

Rating 12
Length 1h52
Release 30.10.2013
Director Alan Taylor
About Thor sets out on a journey to defeat Malekith, the leader of the Dark Elves when he returns to Asgard to retrieve a dangerous weapon and fulfill his desire of destroying the Nine Realms.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Disney+
Trailer:

First Thoughts

I wish I’d been reviewing films around this time because of late, I was of the opinion that I absolutely hated this instalment, even when watching it that first time. However, upon watching it this time, I’m not so sure it was the case.

The Good

  • It is still a clunky start, however you don’t feel it so much because you know the characters.
  • This film keeps London looking grim. I love that. It would have been too easy to give the rest of the world this sunshine and glamour tint to the UK’s capital, however the clouds, the rain… that’s much more real and strangely makes me happy.
  • Darcy and Selvig are back and give the audience the biggest laughs. You know who needs to meet in this universe? Darcy and Luis! Seriously, their banter would be the best.
    Anyway, Darcy brings the one liners and kills it with the commentary. Stellan Skarsgard is a joy to watch playing Selvig as a man who has truly lost him mind because of Loki.
  • Loki, Loki, Loki. What a performance. We get everything in this film. We get playful Loki, charming Loki, angry Lo… you get the picture. Loki is such a complicated, layered, character. One which is perhaps going through an identity crisis. I’m not sure I could imagine anyone other than Tom Hiddleston playing him better.

The Bad

  • Watching the films so close together does point out some recycled plotlines. The method of destruction used by the dark elves is way too similar to the bad guys in Iron Man 3. It’s a shame, because it might not have seemed so obvious had they not followed each other directly.
  • Christopher Eccleston. Now, Christopher Eccleston is MY Doctor. I will watch anything and everything he is in (I’m talking Gone in 60 Seconds, G I Joe and even The Others, despite not liking other people in the cast.). However, he should never have taken this part. You can tell he’s phoning it in. With a role like this, if anyone it not committed the audience can tell, never mind when its Christopher Eccleston uncommitted. It’s truly heart breaking, because when he’s on form, he kills it.
  • Still not a fan of Natalie Portman as Jane. Cannot put my finger on it, because I do quite like Portman. I guess it’s that I don’t see someone who is so invested in her work would become so loopy over a guy she’s known for 72 hours, 2 years previous?! Feels very Disney fairy-tale to me and Jane Foster deserves better.

The Ugly

  • Gratuitous topless shot of Thor. Hey, I love it and I appreciate it as much as the next person who finds Hemsworth attractive. However, in the philosophy of equality, I have to call out all gratuity when I see it. There’s literally is no point to it other than showing the audience those beautiful rock hard abs.
  • Shipping Lady Sif and Thor. Why though? Lady Sif is this badass that the film decides to soften with the longing looks and unrequited pining.

Final Thoughts

Much better than I remembered it. Loved how the film gave the audience a non-shiny London and brought back all our favourites.

Short Circuit (1986) Film Review

Rating PG
Length 1h38
Release 5.12.1986
Director John Badham
About Johnny is a data courier who literally carries data packages inside his head for a fee. This time he carries a package that is too large to hold for long and he must race against time to deliver it.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: DVD
Trailer:

First Thoughts

This was MY movie. This was on a repeat cycle along with Santa Claus: the Movie, Flight of the Navigator and Batteries Not Included. Short Circuit was my comfort movie, only to be replaced when Jurassic Park was available to own.
However, I probably hadn’t watched this again since I reached double digits. Surprisingly, I remembered almost all of it word for word.

The Good

  • This really is a film for everyone. There was so much humour and dialogue I hadn’t picked up on as a kid that I’m sure adults at the time would have found funny. The best example is when Johnny 5 offloads his tracker to a cute looking couple. They’re pulled over by Skroder and his crones and the wife turns to the husband and states: “I hope you moved the grass from the glove compartment”.
  • G W Bailey. If you’re in the UK, you probably know him best for his comedic roles in Police Academy and Mannequin. However, in the States, he’s a highly regarded dramatic actor. It’s only once you see him in some of his more serious roles that you really begin to appreciate his style of humour. The joy of having Bailey in these roles witnessing the moment the character snaps. That “She’s the dummy, she’s the dummy.” moment, if you will.
  • Wall-e tried to take Johnny 5’s crown, but come on. No robot is ever going to be better than Johnny “I am alive” 5. Even with his angles and metal exterior, I want to hug him. It’s the voice that truly makes him. There’s something charming about it.
  • While a little heavy on the synth, I adore this score and soundtrack. It may be to do with how much I watched this film, but I can’t hear its title without mentally singing “who is Johnny?”, the films theme song, in my head.

The Bad

  • The weird leering of Johhny 5 over Stephanie is something I didn’t catch as a kid, but really creeps me the fuck out as an adult. Perhaps it’s not so much Johnny’s flirtations, but how Stephanie responds?! I mean, is she hoping he has an attachment just for her?!

The Ugly

  • I think its a given that Fisher Stevens’ brown face is one of the most offensive things put on celluloid. Mainly because this is one of the most inoffensive films. ever. Oh, and the fact that he’s the one that comes over to the sequel?! Seriously.
    Of course, at the time, I thought nothing of it. I giggled away at him getting things wrong in that ‘funny voice’. However, as an adult, I’m horrified that there was a time in which this stereotype was acceptable.

Final Thoughts

It still has that charm, but it certainly won’t be on my regular rewatch list any time soon.

Blow Dry (2001) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h34
Release 30.3.2001
Director Paddy Breathnach
About Shelley operates a small salon with her partner. When the British Hairdressing Championships are announced, Shelley asks her ex-husband and son to join her.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:

The Good

  • Alan Rickman. He can do ham, he can do serious, he can do villainy. He could do anything he put his mind to, but the best roles of his are the ones where you can see that he’s having the time of his time. Blow Dry is no exception. I got this film to watch solely on the fact that Rickman was in it and he’s a joy to watch.
  • This film represents. I suppose when its about a hairdressing competition, that’s a bit of an open goal. But, this is a film from 2001 that has a lesbian couple and it’s not the main part of the plot. Okay, so it’s a quirky British film and never made the Box Office of Full Monty or Billy Elliot. However, this is still a mainstream movie and it’s quite progressive.
  • At the heart of this film is the relationships. Whether its newly forged, reconnections or companionship; they’re all there. While I love the scenes with Phil (Rickman) and Sandra (Griffiths), my favourite is that between Natasha Richardson’s Shelley and Rosemary Harris’ Daisy. It’s a bittersweet and unapologetic friendship; it’s one that is very ‘northern’.
  • My absolute favourite part of this movie is the evolution of the Mayor of Keighley, played by the wonderful Warren Clarke. Tony’s growth from Town councillor out of his depth, to joyous host and confident charmer is just a beautiful thing to watch.

The Bad

  • There is a massive plot hole in this film that bugs the fuck out of me. The only reason why its here and not swapped with what I’ve put in ‘ugly’, is that the accents bug more than just me.
    So, final look? Spent 6 months workin’ on it did ya Phil? How’s that possible given that in involves a tattoo over 50% of the lass’s scalp?
  • The rating. There are a few things that make this a 15 rating that, had they been cut would have brought it down to a 12. One scene that is perhaps unnecessary is seeing Heidi Klum’s pink merkin! Yup, not one to sit and watch with your families folks.

The Ugly

  • The accents. There’s a few really dodgy attempts at a Yorkshire twang in this heartwarming film, however Josh Hartnett really needed to spend more time with a dialect coach. Totally understand why they cast him; he was The Name of the noughties, I also know that this film needed to be set ‘up north’ to have that charm. I just wish it wasn’t quite so terrible an attempt.

Final Thoughts

It’s flawed. However, there’s enough charm to distract you from the cracks. It’s also a good film to spot some actors as they’re starting out.

The Skeleton Twins (2014) – With spoilers and trigger warning

Rating 15
Length 1h33
Release 7.11.2014
Director Craig Johnson
About When Maggie visits her brother Milo, who has attempted to commit suicide, she asks him to come live at her home for a while. Soon, their broken relationship starts to become stronger.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Apple TV (rental)
Trailer:

Trigger/spoiler Warning: this review, much like the film itself, deals with suicide and sexual assault of a minor.

The Good

  • For its theme and covered topics, this film is incredible charming. It approaches its narrative in a raw, unflinching way. It doesn’t live within a particular genre. Instead showing how life is full of black, white and shades of grey.
  • Both Kristen Wiig and Bill Hader are incredible. Proving once again, that comedians can do wonders with serious roles, that they have range and that some times it is acceptable for a straight actor to take on a gay role without hitting every stereotype. (Not that anyone should make the assumption of Hader’s sexuality. Even if he has been married and in relationships with women in the past, present or future.)
    In fact, it is Hader who steals this show for me. There are things that are not explicitly said, but Hader’s performance certainly suggests. That, actually, is a beautiful thing that will allow others to identify with the character and perhaps gain something meaningful from watching.
  • It’s not explored, but the film does touch the surface of the hereditary aspect of mental ill health and well being. This is perhaps something that hit me the hardest, in a soothing and cathartic way. Some people who do experience mental ill health and episodes of psychological trauma are not able to watch films like these, let alone enjoy them. Myself, I find comfort in the openness, the unity and the expression. It helps to know it’s something others can go through and it helps that there are films like this that those who perhaps never experience the other end of the spectrum can empathise in a safe way.

The Bad

  • Viewers who perhaps have never experienced a form of childhood trauma might struggle to even like the two protagonists. I personally really struggled with the character of Maggie and how she responds to some of Milo’s actions and personality traits. I’m also aware how Milo’s character could struggle to be liked by viewers. They’re both selfish and destructive and to not leave this film without feeling like you’ve wasted your evening is to accept that you need to check your judgement at the door when the film starts. You won’t gain any fulfilment of this film unless you do.
  • I don’t like the message it sends when Maggie chastises Milo for reconnecting with a man from his past. It is revealed that the man he’s been in contact with is a former teacher who Milo had a relationship with when he was 15.
    Maggie is angry. She blames Milo. I understand the anger, however I do feel the film didn’t address the issue in the best way. Milo was 15 and had lost his father to suicide only a year earlier.
    Milo was already in crisis when he was groomed by this teacher. Regardless of Milo’s perception of the relationship, it was another trauma. It was abuse. Even when an adult, and he attempts to reconnect, it is an abusive and toxic relationship.
    I know Maggie’s response to the reveal says more about her, than it does about Milo however I can’t help but feel there should have been an acknowledgement that this is not the response you give to someone who is as vulnerable as Milo is in that moment.

The Ugly

  • It’s film trope time. *Spoiler*: Maggie has an affair. Although, if you don’t see that coming from the moment this film starts, you really need to go get your eyes tested.
    Anyway, there’s a scene in which she ‘attempts’ to call off the affair and the blokes response is to undress her and initiate sex. Okay, fair enough. There is an attempt to make clear her resolve is weakening, if not non-existing from the moment the scene starts. However, and this is the rub, she says “no”. Multiple times. For fucks sake! I know what the film is trying to do and Kristen Wiig makes it “clear” (at least my reading of the scene) that she doesn’t mean ‘no’ and she does indeed kiss him back.
    I’m also aware that those who perhaps would take this as a “oh, when a woman says no she really means yes” excuse would not be watching this sort of movie, but this trope needs to be retired in the films they *do* watch. If that’s the case, it has to be challenged in every movie.
    Am I saying that this sort of things doesn’t happen in real life?! No. I’m sure there are women out there that do exactly what unfolded in the scene. However, they’re not my concern. My concern are the women who say ‘no’ with its intended purpose. By allowing these scenes to be present in our media, it confuses the message, it confuses some people and it gives the entitled an excuse to try.

Final Thoughts

A dark, charming film that addresses what it feels like to be a fuck up because of childhood trauma.

The Suicide Squad (2021)

Rating 15
Length 2h12
Release 30.7.2021
Director James Gunn
About The government sends the most dangerous supervillains in the world — Bloodsport, Peacemaker, King Shark, Harley Quinn and others — to the remote, enemy-infused island of Corto Maltese. Armed with high-tech weapons, they trek through the dangerous jungle on a search-and-destroy mission, with only Col. Rick Flag on the ground to make them behave.
Moon: We get a waxing crescent moon right at the beginning.
Where to Watch: Most cinemas
Trailer:

The Good

  • How does James Gunn curate the perfect soundtrack?! The Suicide Squad is no exception. From the legendary Johnny Cash to the earworm indie rock band The Fratellis; on paper they stand at odds with each other. However, on the screen, they enhance the story and become the album I must have on my phone.
  • The dialogue is to die for. The quick witted humour is perfect for those who love the work of Kevin Smith and Dan Harmon. It’s still on brand for James Gunn, but the Disney reigns have been removed. There will be times when you’d laugh in that ‘I cannot believe they got away with this’ way. It is joyous.
  • Idris Elba and Viola Davis being in the movie astounds me from the get go. Seeing them in a scene together and going toe to toe made me so very fucking happy. These are two actors that I will forever make time for. They’re powerhouses and our generation of Actors. Yet, here they are, having the time of their lives and playing cops and robbers. It takes a certain calibre of talent that can do that.
  • There’s some stunning cinematography in this outing. It’s not something that Franqois Truffant is going to cream himself over because it’s not ‘high brow’ enough, but it certainly got my attention. There’s a scene in which we watch a bulk of it via a reflection and it is made this film geek happy. Now, it might not age well and in 20 years it might look cheap as fuck, however right now it is just beautiful.
  • My two MVPs are King Shark and Sebastian. Both have this conceit of being absolutely adorable and murderous bastards. King Shark provides this childlike joy and humour and I love that he’s voiced by Stallone.
    Sebastian, on the other hand, gave me so much cute. Yup, I ‘awwww’d’ about 4 or 5 times at that god-damn rat. That rat, that mute, expressive and charming rat stole my heart and might have even had me choke up. Fucking James Gunn man. First a tree and a trash panda, now a anthropomophic shark and a rat. Genius! Mad, evil, genius.

The Bad

  • It’s a little on the long side. About 30 minutes too long for me. It does try to keep the pace, but there’s a clunky, choppy flow to the narrative that I don’t think will allow this film to hold up to repeated viewings.

The Ugly

  • The violence is hardcore. It’s a blend of surreal and real which I personally love, however it may be too much for some viewers and I would certainly argue that this film’s violence warrants and 18 rating.

Final Thoughts

A DC film using the Marvel playbook. Its a good watch for someone uninvested, so I’d imagine someone who is loving the DCMU (I’m a DC TVU girl) will be very happy with the outcome.

Johnny Mnemonic (1995) Film Review

Rating 15
Length 1h36
Release 9.2.1996
Director Robert Longo
About Johnny is a data courier who literally carries data packages inside his head for a fee. This time he carries a package that is too large to hold for long and he must race against time to deliver it.
Moon: no moon sighting
Where to Watch: Amazon Prime
Trailer:.

The Good

  • Dina Meyer pretty much carried this dead carcass of a film and it was her first acting role. You can see from this performance why she got her role in Starship Troopers. I also do think that had she been the protagonist, as is the case for the short story it is based on, the narrative would have been a tad smoother.
  • Absolutely loved Henry Rollins as the ‘flesh mechanic’, Spider. There’s a speech he has towards the end of the film that is still relevant today.
  • I loved how the upload scene and the ambush was spliced with anime and I’m actually a little sad that it didn’t utilise it a little more.
  • I think this film needs to be commended for its conviction to the cyberpunk aesthetic. Not only that, but it almost provides that bridge between films like Total Recall, Running Man and later ones like Fifth Element. I think this film would have been up there with all of them had the studio not gotten involved with the editing process.

The Bad

  • Remember that bit in Community when Abed went Full Nic Cage?! Well, it turns out someone beat him to that. Keanu Reeves basically transforms into Cage. While Cage would have been a perfect fit for this film, Reeves does not wear Cage well.
  • Don’t cut off the boy’s sideburns. Just no! What’s worse, it took me two thirds of the movie to figure out why Reeves looked so off.

The Ugly

  • The graphics of ‘the internet’ are so shit. Like, really REALLY bad. Even for the time. Although, I know I shouldn’t be too hard on it; Disclosure uses very similar ones.
  • Did Dolph understand the objective? I’m not sure he did. I’ll agree that perhaps there were ‘better’ people than Reeves for the lead role, however he does okay. Dolph on the other hand, should not have been involved in this project.

Final Thoughts

The Story the film is trying to tell shows promise and has perhaps aged much better than anyone would expect it to have, however I do feel that overall, and largely due to company edits, the message is lost in translation.