Month: December 2018

The Spy Who Dumped Me

“Mom, did you get the dick pics I sent you” Length: 1Hr 58 Rating: 15 About: The Spy Who Dumped Me tells the story of Audrey (Kunis) and Morgan (McKinnon), two best friends who unwittingly become entangled in an international conspiracy when one of…

Bird Box – 15

Length- 2 Hr 4 About- When a mysterious force decimates the population, only one thing is certain — if you see it, you die. The survivors must now avoid coming face to face with an entity that takes the form of their worst fears….

Blade Runner 2049

What a pile of wank. I’m currently 57 minutes in and I’m starting my review. That’s after I’ve checked Wikipedia for the plot to find out what the fuck was going on. That’s not unique to be fair, I needed Wiki for the first…

Christmas Film Advent 2018- My rundown order

Scrooged It’s a Wonderful Life Fred Claus Christmas Carol (1951) We’re No Angels Trading Places Holiday affair Home Alone Elf Gremlins Surviving Christmas Krampus Rare Exports Arthur Christmas Just Friends National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Nightmare Before Christmas Love Actually Nativity Trapped in Paradise On…

Christmas Film Advent- It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)

Zuzu’s petals… You’ve been given a great gift, George: A chance to see what the world would be like without you. Length: 2 Hr 15 Rating: U About: George Bailey has so many problems he is thinking about ending it all – and it’s…

Christmas Film Advent- The Polar Express (2004)

This bell is a wonderful symbol of the spirit of Christmas – as am I. Just remember, the true spirit of Christmas lies in your heart. Length: 1 Hr 40 Rating: U About: Tom Hanks and director Robert Zemeckis (“Forrest Gump”; “Cast Away”) reunite…

Christmas Film Advent- Home Alone (1990)

Damn. How can you give Kris Kringle a parking ticket on Christmas Eve? What’s next, rabies shots for the Easter Bunny? Length– 1Hr 43 Rating– PG About– When bratty 8-year-old Kevin (Macaulay Culkin) acts out the night before a family trip to Paris, his…

Christmas Film Advent- Gremlins (1984)

Christmas carolers. I hate Christmas carolers. Screechy-voiced little glue sniffers. Length: 1Hr 47 Rating: PG About: A gadget salesman is looking for a special gift for his son and finds one at a store in Chinatown. The shopkeeper is reluctant to sell him the…

Christmas Film Advent- Just Friends (2005)

Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I’m going to show her the biggest pussy she’s ever seen. Length: 1Hr 35 Rating: 15 About: High school student Chris Brander (Ryan Reynolds) loves his best friend, Jamie Palamino (Amy Smart). He finally confesses his feelings,…

Christmas Film Advent – Scrooged (1988)

I’m gonna give you a little advice Claire. Scrape ’em off. You wanna save somebody? Save yourself. Length: 1 Hr 41 Rating: PG About: In this modern take on Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” Frank Cross (Bill Murray) is a wildly successful television executive…

Christmas Film Advent – A Christmas Story (1983)

The line waiting to see Santa Claus stretched all the way back to Terre Haute. And I was at the end of it. Length: 1Hr 34 Rating: PG About: Based on the humorous writings of author Jean Shepherd, this beloved holiday movie follows the…

Christmas Film Advent – Fred Claus (2007)

“Yeah, but all that matters is that each of the kids get a toy. That they have something that they can open when they wake up in the morning. Most importantly, they all know there’s somebody who’s thinking about them.“ length: 1 Hr 56…